Monthly Archives: February, 2016

Its my proposal, anyone want to accept?

So fine, given a weekend filled with sickness, we wont focus on that too much. Beyond saying that I’m fine now, and thats all you need to worry about at this point. Unless you have a job to offer me, just about anywhere, then feel free to show concern, and interest.

But lets instead look at a piece of leap year silliness that we only get to enjoy once every 4 years, that day when ladies are free to propose to their man, and (in Scotland at least) if they refuse, the man has to pay the fine of a kiss, a dress, and a new pair of gloves! This law dates back to the 13th Century, though the legend of how this date came to be, relates to 2 Irish Saints back in the 5th Century! The famous Patrick, and the less famous Bridget. No, not that she wanted to propose to him (though maybe she did?), she just wanted the right to do so, if she fancied it. Seriously, 1 day, every 4 years, gee, thanks, Patrick!

Now, of course in these glorious days of single sex marriage, and everything else, this might make things a whole lot more complex, if ladies could only propose to their lady, on one day, every 4 years! Besides which, in modern times, I suspect that if any good lady really wanted to get things moving on that front, she’d just get on and do it, though hopefully only after dropping a few less than subtle hints to the guy that he should get it done!

No, dont worry guys, I have no plans to propose to anyone, would be a bit hard, given I’ve got no one in my life at present, nor am I likely to have, to do so in 4 years time, I suspect! Equally, I’m not really expecting anyone to propose to me, for much the same reason. Would I do it, even if I could? Probably not, mainly because I am that old fashioned type of girl, who wants that proposal made to her, should it ever (be a miracle if it did) happen to me.

But, at least unlike Bridget, I wouldnt actually have to wait 4 years for my next chance for it to happen, should I need it.

The 29th February, inevitably holds less birth, and death anniversaries than most days, as events can only occur every 4 years, not every years, as per normal. Alright, before anyone writes (ha ha) to tell me that 1700, 1800 and 1900 werent Leap Years, I know, but generally…

4 Years ago today, we lost one of the original Monkees, Davy Jones at the age of 66. I know, I was only young when they were famous, first time around, and everything, but…It makes you think about your own time, all the same.

But no, the video is not a Monkees one, unsurprisingly, the clue is in the blog title. And tonight, you get 2 choices. The first, being the wonderful, extended 12″ version, with no video attached.

The second, is the standard 7″ version of the song

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Cloning/replication talents, any one?

No, I dont seriously expect anyone to offer to do that for me, but might have been handy for next Thursday, but anyway…Cant think of any other way I can do 2 interviews at the same time, at least!

Yesterday, I survived a phone interview for a Building Society role in Bradford, and got invited to a face to face one, next Thursday afternoon. 2 snags, main one, it wouldnt actually start until the beginning of May, which isnt going to help much, and secondly, its that one thats not in the centre of Bradford, so not quite sure how easy it will be to get to, and from. But we will see, I guess?

This morning, I got a call for another job I’d applied for, and they wanted me to go to Derby for an interview, even if the job will be in Leeds. Its a Capita brand company, so hey, anything can possibly go, at least. Snag, they’re doing the interviews, yes, you’ve guessed it, next Thursday! They would be taking us down by coach, seemingly, but still a bit weird to me.

So yes, fine, I’m sticking with the Bradford one. First, its far more money, as in between £3-5K more per annum! Yes, as I’ve said before, Capita dont pay well, possibly why they have to seek staff so often! And yes, thats another part of my job hunting logic, to be honest. If there is one of the 2 jobs that I’m likely to get a second chance at, should I need it, its the Capita one! Hopefully I wont need to go down that road, but anyway…

But yes, if anyone can clone/replicate me, before next Thursday, let me know, and I’ll see if I can get the other interview sorted out as well. Oh fine, I’d enjoy the replication process anyway. If only… 😉

Alright, I’d enjoy being the guinea pig for any sort of ‘mad scientist’ type stuff, whatever the results might be. So if anyone out there is looking? Thought not, shame!

OK, the video. Well, if you were replicated, it would look like you were seeing yourself in a mirror, so…

Making plans with Nigel

Fine, lets face it, if anything can possibly be designed to wake up the comments section on here (maybe?), its politics! So lets have a go, and see what happens.

Assuming nothing dramatic happens, 4 months from now, we’ll know if the UK is still part of the European Union, or not. Yes, supposedly we have an agreement on what will happen if Britain stays in the EU, though it seems one or two are saying its not actually set in stone, so who knows? Its not like I have much faith in Cameron, or most politicians to tell the truth, so pardon my cynicism on the matter. Not helped by the fact that seemingly more of his party seem to want to campaign against him, than with him, but anyway…Yes, I could almost smirk at the fact he has more in common with Labour on this, than his own party, but anyway…

There was in fact a previous referendum when we voted on whether to go into the then, much smaller EU, in 1974. As that was before I was old enough to vote, I didnt get chance to vent my opinion on that, but this time, I will. No, I havent yet decided how I will vote, and to be honest, I doubt I will until the last few days, if not the day of the vote, because I can see factors for, and against both sides. But if you twisted my arm for a commitment now, I’d probably vote to stay in, just because its a bit more straightforward for the future. But I might add, if a good enough case is made to vote the other way, I might. One of the things that amuses me, is who gets to vote? Surely all the East Europeans now living here, are going to vote to stay in, for the obvious reason, it suits them that way. Be highly ironic if the vote is a narrow one to stay, wouldnt it? Can you imagine the reaction of the ‘out’ group, if that happens!

But yes, given my rather middle of the road political views, and the fact that most of those who want out, are well to the right of me politically, logic says that for me, staying in, is the wise route. The other factor that tempts me to stay that way, was my dream of working in Europe (now unlikely to happen), which was only going to happen because we are in the EU.

Oh, and because I hate mentioning politics too often, I’ll comment on the scary US situation with the Republicans at present. Yes, Trump scares me, with his crazy words, and actions, and it worries me that so far, he’s romping away with the Republican nomination. Please, just no. Fine, I’m a Democrat by nature, and would love to see Bernie Sanders win, even if some of his ideas are a little to the left of mine. Though in truth, American socialists arent generally as far to the left as some of ours! Snag is, I dont entirely trust Clinton, and if it was her, against one of the saner Republicans (Kasich comes to mind), I could vote for them, assuming I had the chance of course! But in truth, as long as the wind goes out the Trump sails, I should be fine.

Right, political stuff over. The video, well one of the right wingers vehemently shouting for the UK to come out of the EU, is the leader of UKIP, Nigel Farage, which led me to this

Love myself for a reason

Amongst many other things that might annoy me about myself at present, one of them is the fact that I’ve let myself go, a bit. No, not in a drastically bad way, just that at present, due to an attempt to not spend more money than I have to, beauty treatments have gone out of the window, since I got back in October.

Fine, not having my nails beautifully painted really only affects me, I guess, but I must say I miss having them with gel on the nails, just always looked good. But yes, even more annoying to me, and which will definitely be a far more painful experience when I can get it done, waxing!

Yes, my brows are currently hairy, and I hate them, especially as they are distorting the gorgeous semi perm make up brows that I have by now. Oh, and fine, the armpits too, and I ‘KNOW’ they will hurt when ripped out! Bad enough when I keep them maintained, but now…

Oh, and fine, my knees could do with a major massage too, but all of them will have to wait, I guess? Fortunately at present, my hair should be fine for another month or so, before I have to decide what I’m doing about my roots. Oh, and last, but not least, next week is meant to be my podiatrist visit, but I suspect that too will have to be cancelled, at present.

Oh, the things we women suffer for, lol.

But if anyone wants to help…?

Fine, the video. This is me, showing my age. I’m pretty sure that the first clue that maybe I wasnt your standard guy, was as a teen, I fancied Donny Osmond. Now I know it was the natural teen girl thing, but yes, back then, I was confused! But this version is in fact a live version, from 35 years later, and he still looks pretty distinguished!

Something There To Remind Me

Alright, lets get away from the ‘cheery’ stuff of late, to somewhere that truly is a fond memory. Less specifically, Los Angeles. More specifically, and in a sense, a million miles away from the buzz of Hollywood, Pacific Palisades. Yes, this gorgeous piece of heaven is just over an hour away from Hollywood by bus, but in a sense, its a whole different world, and I love it!

Ironically, I first found this haven of peace, purely by accident. My April trip, my plan was to get a bus to Beverly Hills, look around there, and go back to my hotel afterwards. Thing was, I didnt read the journey plan correctly, and the bus (service number 2) doesnt actually go into the centre of BH, but stays on Sunset Boulevard, passing the edge of town. By the time I realised I’d missed it, I decided to stay on the bus, and see what happened. I did consider getting off in Westwood, and having a look at UCLA, but something kept me on the bus. Eventually I saw the approach of a small town, and decided I’d get off there, and have some lunch. Yes, that was Pacific Palisades, and having eaten, and had a walk around town, I’d fallen in love with this peaceful oasis.

So fine, the decision to go back there, in October, was an absolute certainty. Lunch in the same place, a walk around town, and then a stroll down the canyon, to the ocean. It might yet be the last time I walk by the Pacific Ocean, but I hope not. Due to an accident, the bus journey back was not one for fond memories, taking about 2.5 hours, instead of the just over an hour that it should be! But anyway…

So why, now, am I reminiscing about this place? Simple, if you follow golf at all, this weeks tournament is taking place at, yes, you’ve guessed it, Pacific Palisades! No, I never saw the Riviera Country Club up close, not really the sort of place a humble girl like me would go, just like that. Not really of great interest as such, anyway. But yes, its nice, for a few days at least, to see somewhere I have such good memories of, again.

Hopefully, hopefully, one day, somehow, I will return! No idea when, unless a wealthy LA citizen wants to make me his amour, mistress, or courtesan, at present. Or just offer me a job, hint, hint! But yes, at a time of low feeling, its nice to see somewhere that fills me with nothing but good memories.

The video. Yes, a clue in the title, I guess. Just remember, when this was recorded, this lady was approaching her 65th birthday. The song was a major hit for her, when she was 18! But I loved this song then, and still do now.

I Get Knocked Down

…But fine, I’m doing my best to get up again. And fine, though Mark Zuckerberg hasnt offered me $53 million yet, in truth, he hasnt actually given it to Kanye, either! Me, if Mark wants to offer me $5,300, I’d survive for quite a while thanks. So as a relative bargain lol… Talking of which, the most amusing thing I’ve read is that someone has set up one of those ‘Go Fund Me’ campaigns for Mr West, with a target of $53 million, which at the last count stood at $35! Well, at least I havent got that much debt yet! No, I havent got plans to start a similar funding campaign just yet, and doubt I could even raise $35 if I did!

So fine, after being firmly told on Monday morning that my chances of being thrown out on the streets was nil, I’ve tried to battle back. Thanks go to the 3 people who told me that, they will know who they are, anyway. I actually managed to revive one of those jobs I turned down last week. So much so, that I had an interview there yesterday. First place I worked up here, in my original role, we will have to wait and see if I can get through the interview process there again, at the moment. I think it went fine, but given my record on such matters, lets wait and see! I have also signed on again at the Job Centre today, in my new name, which caused chaos with their computerised signing on system, as my name, and therefore my signature is completely different to the one they had before! In the end, I did a paper signature, much easier for me, in truth.

I have also signed up for Rent Benefit, though I have no idea how long that might take to come through, and the bank account currently has next weeks payment, and thats it! No idea how things will play out after that, but I wont be looking for shelter, at least. There is the matter, that even if I get this job, I wont get paid for a month, but I suspect plans are made to cover that too? Maybe I should start a ‘Go Fund Me’ account, and beg to Mr Zuckerberg lol!

Seriously, if anyone has any reasonable offer of work they want to make me, feel free to offer it. As long as its legal, and you want me to give it a go, try me! Clearly, inbound call centres, data inputting, or basic retail stuff are the main options, though something out of left field, and different might just shake me out of things. Relocation? If accommodation is thrown in, why not? Oh, and less seriously, if anyone out there wants a ‘female’ partner to care for them (and to care for), and maybe more, then shout too! You might have to be patient, or tamper with my mind to get me interested in sex, but hey, the latter would be something I’d enjoy, at least. And yes, I’m open to the whole D/s thing, as a submissive at least. Turning me into a Domme would take a similar degree of mind tampering lol! Fine, I know…and yes, I would enjoy that mind tampering, has to be said.

Fine, lastly, the video. Yes, the clue is in the title, but a live version, which I was surprised, and delighted to find. Hopefully, you’re never going to keep me down! Well, unless you turn me into a submissive, and then…lol!

Hitting that (not quite all time) low.

OK, so time wise, I did think about leaving this until tomorrow, but I promised people some pretty depressing news, so pledge kept. Yes, I know, a week ago I thought I was hitting that high, but sadly it was just an illusion.

Yes, you guessed it, that job I thought I’d got, just a con. And yes, I was so desperate for a job, that despite the wage screaming at me, as being wrong, I jumped at it. And yes, the security check, and having to pay for it, sounded fair, so I went ahead and done it. I know, bigger fool me, but I need the job!

Anyway, having got to Thursday, when I was promised contact to arrange induction, and further details, and heard nothing, I sent off an email enquiring about this. Then Friday morning, guess what, I got an email from them! But no, not a reply to mine, but the identical email to the one I’d received a week earlier. Mind, given when I’d had no reply on Thursday (all replies previously answered very promptly), I feared the worst, but this just confirmed it. So yes, I took to Google, to try and discover more, and at that point, everything unraveled big time. To cut a long story short, I’d been conned, and fallen for it.

The worst thing, I’d turned down a couple of other assessments, and interviews, because I thought I’d found a job, and then finally discovered, I hadnt. Yes, I did for a while after that contemplate just saying “Oh, blow it”, and bringing an end to it all (Yes, tried it before, many years ago, when I first discovered the whole transgender thing), but I think I’ve got past that point now, but dont quote me on that! So yes, over the weekend, I’ve got back to sending off job applications, and trying to see if I can recover the ones I turned down, so lets hope something comes of it. Not exactly full of hope (understandably), but we will see.

But yes, the biggest snag I have now, is that the money I threw away, I really couldnt afford to lose. So now, instead of having 3 weeks rent that I could scrape together, with a little bit to spare, I now have 2, and a bit more to spare, but not enough for a weeks rent! Even less so, if I have to start paying out for fares to get to job interviews, but anyway…at least getting one, might get me out of a hole, though even then, by the time I get paid… Oh, and strictly, I need some cheap furniture for here too, assuming I’m going to be here long enough to make it matter!

So yes, I’m begging, anyone in a position to help? Money, simply to keep me going, or if you have a small wardrobe, or chest of drawers, that you can get to me, to save me buying one in a charity shop, shout! Its funny, when I asked if anyone would ‘rescue me’ if I needed it, I bet most thought I was just exaggerating things. See, you were wrong!

In a perfect world, I would love to just start all over again, somewhere in the US, and try and build myself a new life, and make this one work. But this world isnt perfect, and besides, I havent got enough for the air fare for most of the US, and thats before the next rent is due on Wednesday! After that…nope!

So yes, understandably, just at this moment, I’m still pretty low. Though as Elton John said, I’m still standing, but only just! And for how much longer? Help!

Right, so now you know, at least. The video, well, I did think about the Elton John one, but given that Bowie died recently, and its a brilliant video, and its apt…

A heart that’s shattered

So fine, lets start off a thoroughly cheery weekend for me, posting here. OK, I’m lying, badly, but anyway… I’ll save the really depressing stuff for Sunday, so as to not spoil people’s weekend, at least.

Right, so yes, I wasnt really expecting a valentine dinner, or anything, or even a card, but you can hope, and dream, until they’re crushed, at least. I guess something could arrive in the post tomorrow, but I suspect its as likely as Leicester winning the Premier League, or something…Oh, hold that, whoever would have believed it at the start of the season, mind? Great though, isnt it? But fine, looking at the table, as likely as Aston Villa winning the title lol!

OK, the amusing moment. You know how most women fall for that gorgeous hunk of a man? You’re right, not for me! Me, the guy that makes my heart flutter every time I see him on TV, and thats quite often. You know who it is? Winston Wolfe, of Direct Line Insurance fame. Fine, stop laughing, I love him at least! Oh goodness, he could sort my, err, insurance claim, any time he wished to!

I know, he’s got a less than savoury past history, I gather, from a movie he was in, but girls, dont you just love a guy who might be a little bit wicked? 😉

But seriously, Harvey Keitel, I’m not going to be stalking you, just not my style, and never will be, you’ll be delighted to hear.

So fine, in truth, I’d probably enjoy it almost as much if a man (or woman) took my body, and did wicked things to it, as being wined, and dined, but… I’ve done one, and I’d love the treat of the other, while I still have the chance! So…? No, fine, I dont expect to get the wicked treatment either, on Sunday! Just a quiet, depressing day, alone.

The video, a glorious oldie, that really shows it age. Yes, 1960’s! Sums up me, and romance though, for sure.

The next time I fly away…

It will officially be as a woman! Yes, I now have my new passport, at long last, new name, new gender, such a wonderful moment.

Fine, I guessed it was on its way, when the confirming paperwork, and old passport arrived back yesterday, by post, but this afternoon, the new passport actually arrived here, finally, its all sorted! Yes, all my paperwork now says I’m a woman, wow!

Yes, its been a long journey, about 15 years in all, but now, unless I take that last step, and get my ‘bits’ altered, thats the end of the transgender road for me. No, I think that unless someone special comes into my life, and wants me to change them, that at my age, its not likely to happen. Lets face it, my general health is not exactly great, so why undergo major surgery, that will now change nothing non sexual, why bother? I mean, its not like I bother with sex stuff anyway!

I wonder, if you’d told me 15 years or so ago, when I discovered this, that one day, this would happen, well I might have laughed at you, but now…I’m just so thrilled.

And no, I’m not planning on any more name changes either, unless I get married, something I’m pretty certain wont happen. Now, even if I do, I might take the daring step of not changing my name again, I love it far too much for that!

Alright, fine, now there’s one thing I want to do, but cant afford. Yes, thats right, I want to take a flight somewhere, as a woman! Hey, I’d even fly domestically, in truth, though further afield would be wonderful. But I just want to check in, with a passport that says I’m a woman, now. Actually, to fly to the US, which I would love, I actually now need to get a new ESTA, in my new name, and gender, and I think thats 72 hours warning, so…fine, I’ll fly closer to home, for now! Yes, in truth, its US immigration I want to pass through as a woman (not that I’ve ever had any issues with them) that will be so special. I love the country, and to enter, as a genuine woman, heaven!

But if anyone reading this, or knows someone with either with money to spare, or a wealthy benefactor, that wants to make this old ladies day, then yes, please do!

But yes, today is a very special day for me, that last piece of paperwork, that didnt say female, is no more!

Right, the video. Guess what, there’s a clue in the blog title. I know, so shocking lol!

A beautiful day

Fine, the video isnt quite strictly true, it would need to be called Beautiful Friday for that to be the case, but anyway… And yes, this is why the gap between blogs has been longer than normal, and may happen again, after this.

Yes, you know that job where I said that the wages were too good to be true? Well, I dutifully dealt with my phone call on Thursday afternoon, and did a test that they wanted me to do, and then, on Friday morning, got an email saying that I’ve got the job. Fine, I still cant understand why the wages are so good, but anyway? Starts next Monday, over in Halifax, and fingers crossed it all works out. Even more so, as I’ve had to pay out for a Fraud Security Check, with money I really cant spare, but I’m told I’ll get that back, so all well and good.

So fine, I ducked the logistical challenge of getting to that place in Bradford yesterday, under the circumstances, just hope it doesnt come back to bite me. I have actually (at present) still got a few I could do this week, including a Skype interview (absolute first!) tomorrow for the Greek job, but fine, if this one is for real, I’m taking it!

OK, lets move on to the next old chestnut, the passport issue. Sorted! Though yes, it took one more phone call, but… I got another letter on Friday, asking me to send in the letter from the Doctor, confirming that I was living in my new gender, and that they needed my old passport. Thing is, they had both already! Fine, a new member of staff hadnt spotted these things, but quickly sorted, and authorisation confirmed, I will finally get it the middle of this week! So then, everything will say I’m female, so…peace of mind! Snag is, now I just want to go somewhere, as a woman, but I guess it will have to wait a while?

Lastly, we’ve had a bit of a rearrangement of rooms here, at home, and for want of a better term, I now have a one room apartment, with separate kitchen, and bathroom facilities. Snag is, I had way too much stuff, much of which I havent used in years, some of which I’m never likely to wear, so moving it all was a challenge. It has all arrived, though having lost temporarily a lot of storage space, I’m fighting to get everything sorted. I’m going to have to get another chest of drawers, to fit everything in, and possibly a second wardrobe too, as I was using coat hangars on the door, and hooks for stuff, which I havent got in here. But I will get it all sorted, though my current aim is no more than to have it done before I start work!

Lastly, a couple of Facebook moments. Firstly, last night, I got a message from someone who I dont know, and will probably never speak to again, saying how much she admired me, for what I’m doing. Just one of those special moments that so make my day. Secondly, someone I do know as a Facebook friend, sent me a message at New Year, saying that he wanted to do a vintage shoot with me, if I was keen. Anyway, Friday, he followed up with sending it again, along with a mass liking of my vintage look pictures, and this time, Facebook let me know about it, if not in the perfect way.

So as it stands, 3 weeks time, its going to happen. Not yet sure if it will be here, or in Hull as yet. He’s happy to come here, but I havent travelled that rail line beyond Leeds, in years, so its an open option at present. So yes, all in all, its been quite a good weekend, and all for the right reasons, a rare event of late.

The video, well, its Sunday I’m writing this, so…

Mind, if anyone comes here because of the tag, expecting someone else…lol