One thing I’d been suspecting for a while, was that trying to carry on with life, as I was before the back issue, wasnt really a practical option. I’ve been trying to do just that, but yes, what I hoped I could do, and what I can actually do, two different things!
No, I havent had to cut out the sky diving, the deep sea diving, or anything like that, you understand. The first has never ever appealed, and though I might have fancied the latter when I was much younger, its past me now. In fact, most energetic things are past me now, even before the back quite literally fell apart.
No, in this case, its work! Even on strong painkillers, and steroid cream, my recovery time for more than a couple of days at work isnt good at present. So yes, on Friday morning, which would be my 3rd day in a row at work (Tuesday being my day off for week, working on Saturday), even after all the treatments, I still hurt a bit. And by now, I’m getting practical about the issue, its recovery time I need. In truth, I suspect as much of the issue is the bus seats to, and from work, but yes, work would play a part too.
So I decided to ask a question, and see if I could ease the load. So on Friday, I asked my team leader, very nicely, if it was possible, just temporarily, hopefully, to cut back to a 4 day week. Obviously it wasnt just her decision to make, especially in the Civil Service, but I was told to leave the matter with her, which is as much as I hoped for. Anyway, to cut a long story short, yesterday afternoon, it was all sorted out, and for the next 12 weeks, including this one, I’m doing a 4 day week! So much is said about work life, but I have nothing but praise for my workplace, for sure.
Mind, tomorrow might be fun at work. Have now used the last of my strong painkillers, and I rang the surgery today, hoping that I could go along and get a new prescription straightaway, but will be tomorrow afternoon before I can get it, or in my case now, Thursday morning. I have got some, but about half the strength, so tomorrow might be, err, fun!
In other related matters, I am now the proud owner of 2 back braces, or will be when they arrive! Yes, Ebay moment lol! One is just a simple brace, which supposedly has lots of magnets in it, which is supposed to be good for you, or so the people trying to sell it tell me! Snag is, after I pushed the button to buy, I discovered that its a Chinese company, supposedly located in London, so how good it will be, no idea? But fine, its cheap, so…
I also bought a corset type one, which thankfully involves zipping yourself in, not lots of tying yourself in, because lets face it, I’m useless at things like that! It claims it will give me a sexier waist too, but I’ll believe that when I see it. But who knows, a bit more of an hourglass figure lol…?
Right, video time. Fine, its depressing, as this is 40 years old, and I remember the song when it first came out. But what I need to do, at least until I get my back sorted out, is…
Yes, today marks a very depressing anniversary for me, its exactly 1 year since I left William Hill, having taken redundancy. I know, I worked 2 weeks in the interim, but to be honest, I’m still trying to forget about that, but anyway…
I’ll admit it, when I decided to leave, I suspected it might be a battle to get a job, but I never imagined it being like this. I know, age was against me, being transgendered would probably be against me, but even so, I thought there would be openings out there, but…here I sit tonight, still battling on, to find another job.
Yes, I’m ready to scream, I admit it.
Thats not to say there havent been some good moments in the last year, 2 trips to Hollywood being among the high points, but the last 4 months, since I got back from 4 weeks out there, pretty hellish, on the whole! Yes, mainly money, or more importantly, the lack of it, has begun to bite hard.
Now fine, I’d love to put all the blame for my lack of job opportunities on my age, or my gender issues, but in truth, a lot of it is probably down to me, and the modern methods used for recruiting staff, which I struggle, at my age, to get my head around. Yes, competency questions are the bane of my life, and however well I practice them at home, once I get asked something slightly different, mid interview, my brain goes pop, and I blow it. I’ll be honest, in the early days, even basic competency questions used to stump me, but I think I’m getting there with those.
Thats not to say that I dont think my age, and probably more critically, my transgendered status hasnt counted against me at times, because it has, I’m sure. The less than fond memory of the job where the emphasis at the interview was on “This is a young office” was a less than subtle clue on one occasion at least. And yes, there’s been a few times, when I have performed well, and not got anywhere, and I’m sure the confusion of a woman, with a male passport (as I had back then) probably counted against me, with some.
I’ve also had other frustrations on money raising fronts. Yes, the clinical research thing, is an obvious that comes to mind. The first time, I was in, but because they couldnt make promises at the time I needed to make the decision about that ghastly job, I took that, and missed out. Second time around, after discovering that my internal genitals are a mix of male, and female bits, that was it!
I’ll be honest, I’m still ignoring sales jobs, especially cold calling ones, as I know my nature wouldnt last weeks in a job like that, let alone years. I’ll be honest, even if I applied, and got an interview, I doubt they’d take me on, I just cant push hard enough for that sort of role. But yes, anything reasonable, I’ll give it a go. Hey, this week I applied for a job, as a Receptionist at a local casino. I dont really expect to hear back, but you never know, I do have experience in the gaming industry, but its hardly that! Be more fun if it was Vegas, or California, but it might be a start?
But fine, I’ll say it again, I’ll try anything now, legal! I know what I said above, but I suspect that if someone offered me a ‘warm’ or ‘hot’ selling role, I’d give it a try! But apply for one, dont think I could. Having said that, I’ve seen these social media retail selling things, and I have my doubts I could do that sort of sales either, so…?
I guess you’re asking, do I now, in hindsight, regret my decision to take the redundancy money, given whats happened? Generally, no. The only reason I could finish at 10.00, in Leeds, and get home fine, was because we were given taxis, but I knew that was being taken away. After that, given the awful punctuality record of Trans Pennine Express, there was no guarantee I would get the last bus home. Which would have meant a 40 minute walk, late at night, or the expense of a taxi, assuming I could get one, especially at weekends. And to be honest, I’d already been considering getting another job, before the money came along, so…
The other reason I couldnt say anything but no? Those 5.5 weeks in Hollywood, over the 2 trips, for starters. Fine, I had a week booked, but if I say that after 5.5 weeks, I still havent done everything in LA that I would love to do, yes, you get my drift? I also met some wonderful people, on both trips, that I wouldnt have done otherwise, and got some very good memories out of it.
But yes, if someone wants to make me an offer, just about anywhere in the world, any legal job, give me a shout. At worst, I’ll think about it, and in truth, if its reasonable, and I think I could do it, I’ll take it. Equally, if there are any William Randolph Hearst’s out there, who fancy a transgendered Marion Davies at their side, yes please. Lets face it, for the right Mr Hearst, I might even get all my genitals made female! I dont fancy the surgery at my age, but if required, then fine, get me booked in!
Alright, before I hit 1000 words, good grief, the video. A bit of Eagles, in tribute to the recently departed Glenn Frey
I’m trying to feel like I dont want to depart too, but its getting hard!