Firstly, let me say, that for those who are curious, this video was shot, not a ‘million miles’ from where I live in Hebden Bridge! I suspect it might have changed a little in 30 years, but it paints an accurate picture of a small northern town back then. Well, put it this way, I remember Haworth back then, and it looks a fair match!
However, my northern town, as such, as you should already know, is Huddersfield. No, I cant remember what that looked like back in the 70’s, or early 80’s, because back then, it really wasnt on my travel route when heading up north. In truth, my memories of most of the places around Yorkshire from that long ago are fairly vague, apart from probably Haworth (and maybe Keighley?), because I either didnt see them at all, or only saw them in passing in a car, or bus.
Of course, that adds another alternate universe thing to the whole of my life. Suppose we hadnt moved down South permanently when I was 3 or 4, and suppose I had grown up from a young girl, in a northern town like Haworth. Marriage, children, work in a mill, who will ever know? Or working in one of the multitude of tourist type shops that grew through the village, as time moved on. No, I havent even been back in recent times, I know its not the village I grew up knowing, and though part of me wants to see it now, to see what its like, another part of me just wants to stay away, and preserve the memories, as they were. I know, I know, I have no idea which is the best route to go down, but I’m sure, at some point I will go back, like it or not!
Ironically, the only city I have really seen through all ages, is the one I now work in, Bradford. Even more amusing, where I work, I remember that area when it was actually a mill, and that children were told to stay well away from that area. Now across the road is a shopping centre, and our mill building is an office! Not hard to tell the latter mind, when you see the stairs inside the building, they’re steep, which is why this poor old crock has to use a lift at present, due to the state of her back.
And thats a matter I will soon know the state of, given that I rang the surgery today, and found out my scan results are back. No details yet, as the Nurse dealing with my case was off today, and to quote the receptionist, the results were all in medical talk, so none the wiser at present. I’ll find out Thursday, I’m told, and will report accordingly. I’d love a new cybernetically upgraded back, or full body, but pretty sure that offer isnt available! Most likely some more pills to take, will be interesting to see if estrogen is amongst them, given what I said I would do if they were!
So I guess I might yet end up as a Northern housewife, but I wouldnt put good money on it, lol! Would be amusing though, over 50 years on from when a ‘young girl’ might have had that planned out for her?
Video time. How this group was a one hit wonder, no idea, but they were. There is a different version of this video, filmed across the Pennines, near Manchester, but this is the Yorkshire version!
Well, indirectly, though they wont know about it at the time,yes, they will.
Assuming that the fairly obvious is correct, and after the bone density scan, they do decide that my issue with my back is osteoporosis related, there are a couple of fairly obvious supplements I could be given to try and ease, and hopefully cure the issue, to some degree at least. One is calcium supplements, which would help to strengthen the bone, which I’m pretty sure is needed. The other one, and more relevant to this blog, is (o)estrogen supplements, as would be given to menopausal women under these circumstances. Yes, I’m sort of doing the double spelling thing here, as both options seem equally used, though I will settle for the estrogen version from now on, when writing this. In fact, its quite possible, and some say quite likely that I will get both!
One thing I’ve always said is that if the situation arose, where I felt the need, or desire to have the actual Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS), then I would get it done. In truth, the main reason I’ve put myself off it, is the surgery issue, I’m not one of those people who love pain, in that sense at least! So given I have no sexual desires, and no partner, or potential partner who wants to get close in that way with me, I’ve passed on the matter, up to now.
But yes, I have had a think about it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that if a doctor, or group of doctors think I should be on estrogen supplements, then maybe I should take that as a hint that I really ought to take that last step to womanhood after all. I know, its still going to hurt, but I’m not sure it could be much more hellish than the pain I went through before getting on serious painkillers for the fracture in my back. And hey, lets face it, if anyone ever actually enters my new vagina sexually, I will be amazed. But yes, going to meet my maker, as a proper woman, it would be nice, I must admit.
But equally, I’m not going to be the one that actually makes the decision for me, as in truth, I’ve got a life now that suits me fine. All my paperwork says I’m a woman, and thats the main thing for me, but all the same…? So yes, if I get put on estrogen supplements, for my osteoporosis, I’m going to take that as a signal from a doctor, or ‘higher person’ that I really ought to become a woman for real. I know, a proper get out, but at least this way, I know its destiny, if it happens, which is fine by me.
I suspect its fair to say that therefore, a number of people will be hoping that the doctors do decide to put me on estrogen, so I go ahead and do it. There might be one or two hoping otherwise, but I suspect the vast majority who know me, and know about me would love to see me do it. Hell, I’d probably be glad I did it, after its done, but just at the moment, yes, the pain issue concerns me!
But yes, if in about 6 weeks time, or so, I announce that the decision is estrogen supplements for me, and I try to get out of this, dont let me! An angel will have contemplated my fate, made that decision for me, so…it will be done! Mind, unless someone wants to pay for me to do it privately, the length of time it might take on the NHS, well who knows when it will actually happen lol?
Oh fine, I might have given a couple of clues to the video here. This is a delightful live version, from the concert in Manchester that happened after the awful events there at a concert earlier this year.
Yes, fine, to keep people updated on matters…
Initially, as reported in the last blog, the view from the Doctor’s surgery, post X-Rays, was to wait a few weeks, see how things settled down, and then decide what the next step from there would be. I’m assuming that was based on what the hospital told them, and that a couple of days later, they saw the X-Rays for themselves, because when I came home from work on Thursday (Yes, now its kicked in, the medication is fine to allow me to go back), I got a message that the surgery had been trying to contact me, and I needed to ring them the next morning. No, it wasnt hard to work out what it was about, lets face it. Anyway, a few minutes before I was going to ring them, they rang me, and told me that having discussed the matter (and I assume, seeing the results for themselves), they had already decided to refer me for a bone scan.
I know, doesnt sound good, does it? Not surprised, but anyway…
Of course, one of the more fascinating options, if it does show as osteoporosis (and this referral is rushed, if they dont think it is), would be to put me on estrogen supplements, to try and build bone density, as they do with post menopausal women, which lets face it, I pretty much am! Yes, I would, given the opportunity, no surprise there.
The thing is, having got all my papers nowadays as female, but being very single, and being unlikely to find myself in a relationship, and not being a lover of unnecessary pain, or surgery, I had sort of decided that I wasnt going to ‘bob the bits’, or more technically correctly, go in for the sex reassignment surgery, which strictly would be the final step. Even more so, given the body is clearly in even worse condition than I thought it was lol! No, I dont think they’d do the knees/back/genitalia combo all as one!
But all the same, it did start me thinking, that if, and at this point, it is only an if, pre bone scan results, I did start loading up with estrogen supplements, should I take all this as a hint that I really ought to get my body changed, so that everything is fully female? Let me say at this point, I will only even consider this, if I do get to take estrogen tablets for osteoporosis, as otherwise, I’m pretty fine as am. But yes, I do wonder if this is a hint from ‘higher authorities’ that I should be doing the full transition, hmm?
Not saying yes, not saying no, but I suspect I would take less convincing if the seemingly inevitable happened, to take that big last step. But yes, at my age, and state of health, that surgery might still put me off! 😛
Right, video time. There are some great songs, that no matter how I try, an I going to be able to directly link into a blog, and tonight I’ve decided to provide one of those, as I cant think of anything that obviously fits, that I havent used before. So, a little classic Roxy Music, live…