Category Archives: Intersex

Second chance in line?

I would say strictly that this is probably the last double blog for a while, but in truth it wont be, even if the actual subject matter will be. Thats because something will be mentioned here, where readers know I’m Intersex, which wont be on the other one, where they think I’m a natural woman with a robot fetish, lol. Heaven knows what twist I give on the subject matter there, unless I know Rotwang, or Frankenstein is reading that one!

The day started in amusing fashion, as the advice you’re given is to be ready 2 hours before your appointment, which for me yesterday was 2 in the afternoon. So… 10.50 in the morning, the vehicle taking me to the hospital is parked outside, waiting for me! I assumed there were only 2 other people from this area going to the hospital, with an earlier appointment, so…Anyway, upstairs, get shoes on, get coat on, grab handbag, and ready to go. Actually, the restaurant at the hospital, where I ended up having lunch was fine, if more expensive than eating at home before leaving, lol.

So I switched my plans around, and started with getting the blood sample taken, instead of after everything else was done. After that, I went to check my transport for Occupational Therapy today had been sorted out (not, but very swiftly sorted) before heading to the bowels of the hospital (2 floors below ground floor) for the fitting of the mask, and stuff. No, not a full face, iron one, but anyway, was all good fun. All followed up about an hour later by a scan to check the fit, and basic comfort of wearing it, both of which were fine…on the second machine. First CT scanner they’d used in the morning was throwing a grumpy moment, but all soon sorted, and done.

Right, the big date, I suppose you want to know? First session will be on Monday, 28th October which is actually a week or 2 earlier than I’d been expecting from what I was told, but thats good news! Sessions will then be 5 days a week (Monday to Friday) for 6 weeks, which means the last one should be Friday, 6th December. After that its meant to be a minimum of 4 weeks of recovery period, though I’m working on 6 weeks personally, partly because of my age, and my back issue, and also because it will be fine to allow extra because of Christmas/New Year period, even if I’m sure I wont be overexerted by anyone, but…

Oh right, that subject I can mention here, but not on the other blog? Yes, like any good flapper, getting the hair bobbed isnt an issue for me, but I always said that after I retired I was going to get something else ‘bobbed’ too, the bits! No, not going to rush it, but I’m thinking that end of Summer 2020, or far more likely the Autumn, maybe my thoughts need to turn to that matter, and another operation in time, lol? I’d always said after retirement it would be a plan anyway, but I cant deny that all thats happened over the last 6 months has made it more of an issue I want sorted, just in case. Yes, already checked, and been told this cancer issue makes no difference to getting it done, so… I have no idea at this point where I stand on the matter, medically, to be honest.

Technically I’ve lived fully as a woman for 10 years, so I’m way over the limit on that point. Equally, I’ve never actually done hormones, but given I’m Intersex, I have no idea where I would place on a hormone test anyway. Its quite possible I have one obvious boy bit, but that could actually be it, especially given I have a womb! Never had children, but then again, was never in a position to have them, as the only woman I ever had ‘unprotected’ sex with, wasnt in a position to have them by then anyway!

Yes, its about a year down the road, for sure, but an interesting thing to think about, for sure?

Its funny how things happen, this morning was meant to be last trip to Leeds for nearly a fortnight (24th), but it never happened. Irony, my Occupational Therapist rang in this morning to the hospital, unable to go to work. It will be rearranged, but for now, just when…?

Right, video time. The cancer treatment, very rightly is first in line, but after that, well, second in line?

 

 

 

 

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Here comes my baby?

I was reading an interesting article yesterday about something very relevant to many transgender women. Strictly it doesnt apply to me for two reasons. First, I’m strictly too old, and secondly, strictly, I dont need one, already got one. Yes, wombs, and baby bearing for transgender women. As I say, I’m too old genetically, and never had any desire to have babies anyway. But yes, I’ve got a womb anyway, even if not fully developed. I do actually wonder if I’ve only got one (obvious) piece of male genitalia, but until they take a look, who knows?

Equally, I do know a number of younger transgender women who would love to have a baby, so if this concept actually comes to fruition, its going to leave them with an interesting decision to make, for sure. Dont get me wrong, the whole act of changing your ‘bits’ isnt an easy operation, but compared to the whole act of designing internal bits to allow for the fitting of a womb, I suspect its a whole less lot complex. Why I say a decision is because its obviously not something they are initially do for everyone transitioning, because lets face it, for those like me, its a wasted effort. Also, seemingly, as to start with at least, its going to require a donor womb, its probably going to delay your op being done.

Yes, donor wombs can be done, thats what the article was about, that a 35 year old woman has just got pregnant using a donor womb originally from a 45 year old women, who was sadly killed in a road accident. And yes, someone raised the question of whether in the future, the same could be done for a transgender woman, and of course, the answer was yes, though as they said, there may be unknown physical issues that a natural woman wouldnt have, but until they look into it…?

Me, I’ve never wanted to be a mother, or indeed any kind of parent, but that might just be my physical build? But no, I have no desire to have my womb made usable, even more so at my age, but hopefully it brings hope to the younger transgender generations at least.

OK, video time. I was thinking of something different, but then You Tube put this on my suggested list, so saved me the search. Lets face it, its not even about the same generation of baby!

 

Make me a natural woman?

Seeing I promised to throw this piece of hypothesis up to (hopefully) a bigger audience, I’d better be a good girl and do so. Let me add that regardless, its not going to change my view on my status, and also, at this point at least, I must point out that beyond knowing that I have a womb, I have no idea whatsoever as to what the rest of my internal genitalia is, as no one has ever checked beyond that point. So if its discovered I have other boy bits internally, the whole question counts for nothing, but…

Given the whole ‘feminist lesbian’ group, who believe you cant be a woman unless you ‘in every way’ present as a woman, stance (no!), against the whole young Trans Activist thing, who believe that someone who hasnt even reached puberty, let alone the age of consent just be allowed to change gender (equally no!) battle that is going on, I’ve decided to take the ‘easy’ route out, and declare myself Intersex, which strictly I am, but it takes a whole lot more explaining, but anyway…

(For those not up on the matter, it means, in my case at least, that I have the most obvious boy bit at present, but equally I have a womb, which most would say is one of the more obvious women bits, but anyway. As to what else I have in there, probably best I dont know! But the thought that struck me is this, if I only have one boy bit, and I get rid of that, does that actually make me a natural woman?

Given that nowadays they dont actually remove it, just using the flesh to create the vagina, I guess that strictly I wont get rid of it anyway, but equally,  if it was meant to be a vagina in the first place…?

Strictly, as I say, it really doesnt matter, all my paperwork says I’m female, even without the bits being bobs, and besides, assuming medical permission for the surgery given things, I plan to get it done, so… But yes, just an interesting thought, if all my bits are then female, does that mean I’ve transitioned, or do I become a natural woman?

So yes, as my dear friend Kiefer suggested, this has to be the obvious song. Just that most people would assume Aretha, so coming out of left field, its Carole King, who actually happened to help write the song, as well as, in this case, sing it.

What you going to do about it. The passing of time.

Is this LGBT issue? Is this politics? Is it both? Well, maybe…?

In truth, on 24th May 1988, I didnt know I was transgender, intersex, and heaven forbid, bisexual to top it all. I knew I was a bit (to put it mildly) confused about my sexuality, and other stuff, but didnt really know what it all was. Funnily enough, I was supposedly in a straight relationship, with a woman, that in truth, never had a hope.. The fact that we lived together for as long as 11 years, in hindsight, was pretty amazing, but we did. I mean, there was a spell before the end, when we knew it was coming to the end, but didnt really know why, other than my feelings of it being wrong, trying to be in a straight relationship with her. I wonder if we could ever have made it as 2 lesbians, lol? Probably not, but I have to wonder?

Anyway, on above date, something critical happened, that at the time I didnt really know applied to me, but now… Section 28 was introduced by the Conservative government of the time, which made it even harder to be LGBT, especially in an education sense, but done damage to numerous LGBT people over the years it lasted. Funny how things go round, about education, and LGBT issues in the UK, isnt it?

So, one year later to the day (yes, 30 years ago today), Stonewall was founded, to fight this ghastly legislation. Eventually, thankfully, Section 28 was repealed, and things improved to some degree for LGBT people. Equally, thankfully, though that fight is over, Stonewall is still here to support us, and judging by recent happenings, we still need them today, I only wish we didnt. Not helped by the fact that TI people seem to need ever more support against others that are meant to be with us, a section of the L’s! Me, on 2 counts!

Firstly, lets deal with the one that annoys me, those that wont accept that Trans Women are real women, even after their bits have been ‘bobbed’, for those that applies to. I dont know exactly what TERF stands for, but thats the general term for them. What is even more hypocritical about them isnt just the fact that they are against Transgender women using the same facilities as them (because we were born men, or for intersex folk like me, born also with boy bits), they are against Transgender men sharing facilities with them, even if by their ‘reasoning’ they were born with girl bits, but now have boy bits! They see them as men too, so you tell me? As for those of us with both genitalia, as to what facilities we’re meant to use, heaven knows?

The other thing that amuses me with some lesbians (generally, but not exclusively the same ones) is their abhorrence to relationships with bisexual women, because heaven forbid, we’ve had sex with men, as well as women. Seems with some, that even looking at a man in ‘that way’ is enough to condemn you. So yes, any time you think all LGBTI+ people support each other, please think again.

And yes, guess what, Stonewall is more than happy to support both these groups, despite their own brands of bi, and trans phobia. So Stonewall is good, but like regulations, still has a long way to go, dont kid yourself.

I tried to come up with something original for the video, and seeing Section 28 was designed to make LGBT activity illegal in so many ways, I came up with this! Maybe we now need to load up with rainbow, rubber bullets?

What someone should do for me

OK, I dont really mean it, unless you really want to, but it fits in with the video, so…?

Tomorrow is the International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia. So, yes, giving you a bit of warning, so dont say I didnt tell you. Hopefully at least some knew already, but just in case…? And yes, its better than getting me started on Alabama, and Georgia, and now seemingly Missouri, so… No, seriously, dont!

Its funny, this year will be the least I’ve done for this in a few years, but such is the state of my health. Doesnt mean I wont be at home supporting the cause, but still going to be funny not doing something for the department, or the civil service, or anything more this week. And yes, my usual disclaimer, please people, lets make it so we dont have to do this sort of thing any more, OK? Sadly at the moment things seems to be getting worse, not better! Of course those that need to be educated the most will be the ones not reading this, I guess?

I know, its easy for me to say, given I’m Bi, Trans/Intersex, and support all others affiliated in all the letters mentioned generally, but I dont get the Phobia. Firstly, its us, its who we are, so just live with it! Secondly, unless some evil scientist has come up with an evil virus that no one has told me about, you cant catch LGBTI+ from those of us that already are. So just relax, OK?

Oh, and as for the whole toilet thing, I dont know about some, but I go in there for one reason, to use the toilet, wash my hands (see, no gay infection issue, lol), and then get on with that boring thing called normal life. And to all those who say you should use the toilet relating to your genitals, well, I have girl bits, so I’m entitled to use the ladies, and not the gents, OK? Snag is, I also boy bits, so I’m entitled to use the gents, but not the ladies. Does that mean I can use either, neither, or what? And think carefully before answering incorrectly, and making yourself look an idiot. Yes, going to stick to using the ladies, as I have for nearly 10 years now!

PS, if anyone knows a pain free way to remove the boy bits, and tidy up the girl bits for me, feel free! Alternatively, a non sexual cyborg/robot body, complete with either assisting AI, or full interface, or control, even better, due to my current brain function issues.

But other than that, I just request people to treat IDAHOBIT day tomorrow, and the people it related to nicely, not just tomorrow, but forever. OK, plea over.

Video time. For the second time this week, in tribute to the late, great Doris Day, one of her song. I know, its cutely straight, but just change the u, to an a, and… 😉

Sing if you’re really happy that way

Now I’m not working, and I’m missing all the LGBTI updates at work, I hadnt realised until going on Twitter today, that it was actually the Lesbian Day of Visibility today. You would, not unreasonably assume that as a Bisexual (verging on Lesbian), Intersex/Transgender woman that I’d be thrilled with that news, and ready to shout it loud and clear. Well, other than the fact we shouldnt need days like this, but besides that…?

Thing is, there are 2 groups of lesbians (almost certainly with some crossover) who I only wish weren’t so visible. Shocked? Yes, sad, but true, that not all Lesbian are all that keen on supporting the BT side of the spectrum, after all we’ve been through.

Lets deal with the more surprising one, to me at least, the B issue, for want of a better term. I mean, I can understand lesbians maybe not being keen on women like me, who havent got rid of all their ‘boy bits’ yet (more on this shortly), as a partner. Yes, cut me open, I’ve got a womb, and probably other female stuff, but outwardly… However, what seems to be the current development among some is the fact that a number of lesbian women wont date genitally correct bisexual women, because they also fancy men, and are therefore ‘dirty’ in some strange way. Yes, seriously, I’m hearing the outcome of this more often recently too.

The thing is, as is stated, being bisexual doesnt mean the desire to actually have sex with both genders, all it means is that, heaven forbid, we might fancy people of each gender. I mean, there are some men I could definitely fancy, but the idea of having sex with them, even if I had my bits sorted out, not that likely. But no, some have come out and said they could never date a woman who has fancied a man, let alone done anything more with them. So what could I say, the first one that never, ever dated a boy, even as an experiment at school, let them throw the first stone? Doubt many stones would get thrown, somehow! Still, as I see it, their loss?

The other lesbians I wish were less visible are TERF’s. I assume the last 2 letters are for real females, or something, but I dont know, nor do I care to know. These are a ‘lovely’ bunch of women who believe that unless you were born a woman, you cant be a woman. Thats right, all the hormones, all the surgery, you’re still a man. The funniest thing about this group is that one of their ‘leading lights’ is actually a Trans woman, which makes them an even more crazy bunch to deal with.

I gather it relates to the whole bathroom thing, though how that relates to post surgery Trans women being the Devil, I have no idea? The other thing is, they’re hypocritical. You see, when someone mentions to them that surely that meant that Trans Men, because they were originally women should actually use the same bathroom as them, and you would have thought the sky had fallen in.  So seemingly they seem to want it both ways, which is clearly wrong, to everyone but them!

Most amusingly, last week I posted on a LGBT issue, relating to lesbians. This woman (who was clearly a TERF) liked, and retweeted my posting, and even followed me! Somewhere, seemingly got long after, she took a look at my profile, and saw I stated I was Transgender. By the time I saw the notifications for what she had done, not only had she reversed the like, and the retweet, she’d blocked me!

I’ve also had a previous clash with one of these transgender hating lesbians, and asked where she stood on Intersex people like myself. Said I was therefore fine, but lets face it, if I stood naked in front of her, it would be my boy bits that were showing currently, so I dont get it?

So yes, its nice today for Lesbians to be visible to the wider world, but I only wish they all supported all of their fellow sisters in the world, and not just the ones that it suits them to support?

Video time. Hard to believe this song is 40 years old, and to be fair, some matters have improved. But as this blog shows, some LGBTI people still want to shoot themselves in the foot, and only support those that it suits them to support. This is live from last year, so definitely not used before

Oh, last irony. A little while after originally recording this, Tom found he wasnt actually gay, he’s bisexual!

What do we need?

According to the video, its a great big melting pot (though not the group you’re expecting?), but there are times when I think even if humanity agreed on that issue, you’d still get some that would argue about the size, colour, and probably the gender of said pot! yes, its one of those days when I feel like screaming at some of the more extreme transgender activists, but then they’d probably say I dont count, that I’m Intersex! Seriously, to quote another song, you’d think the LGBT community would want to stick together, especially in these times, but that is far too easy for some.

Being honest, one of those trend things I always dread on Twitter, ironically, is Trans Ally. Why, because it generally means we are under attack from some right wing group, or it means that some poor ‘snowflake’ of a Transgender person has taken exception to the realities of life being pointed out to them. Today, thanks to the SNP (Scottish Nationalist Party), we got a bit of both. Part 1 was care of 3 MSP’s posting on Social Media, complaining about the fact that Trans people should be treated to equal rights in Scotland. Not really much to ask, in truth, but too much for some, clearly! Most other MSP’s quickly came down on them, though I doubt it will change their views.

Part 2 relates to the forthcoming Census in Scotland. It seems the form will only give options for male, and female, and not any non binary options. Now, I’m elderly, and understand the practicalities of these things, and besides that, despite being Transgender, in Transition, my passport, and all other paperwork says I’m female, so I’m sorry, whenever, and wherever I’m asked my gender, I’m female, matter solved. Thing is, the younger generations (especially the newest ones) arent obliging, and expect everything in the world to fulfil their desires. Sorry, the real world isnt like that, and I dread to think what some of them would have done if they grown up 20 years ago, for example, and all people like myself went through.

So yes, the inevitable combustion blew up, and all sorts of insults, and threats have been thrown by said activists, at those not letting them have their way. Rattles from prams have nothing on them, lol. And of course in these days, with a bit of stirring thrown in by the Christian right, who think anyone who isnt in a traditional man and woman relationship, or desired to be in one, clashes with a group of young activists who think otherwise should be the case, it all gets explosive.

Dont get me wrong, I’m proud to declare as Transgender, though far too many of these young activists drive me to despair. As I also mentioned, strictly I’m Intersex, I have that man bit (that doesnt work sexually), but I also have the less visible womb too, so technically I’m as much a woman, as a man, anyway. And yes, today, in despair, and to some degree jokingly, I asked what I need to do physically to declare as Intersex, not Transgender, because then I might feel slightly more inclined to let the Trans Activists just get on with it, and I’ll just be a nice Intersex women instead. I guess its just down to declaring myself as Intersex, and then spending 10 minutes explaining it to each person who asks for details as to what that means, but there are times when I think that might still be easier! Not that getting the ‘bits bobbed’ actually solves that issue, as I still lived the first part of my life as a man, and the later part as a woman, but its tempting, assuming I am medically retired by the seizures (seems likely), but I’m still allowed the hormones, and surgery (no idea?) after them? If anyone knows that last answer, please let me know!

Of course, in an ideal world, we’d have a great big melting pot, and everyone of various race, gender, and sexuality could just get on with their lives without any of these issues! But fine, thats far too easy.

Video, no, not Blue Mink. I found a live performance by Boyzone, so lets go with that, as I cant find anything but mimed ones by Blue Mink

 

n social media, from those who think anything but a relationship between anyone but man and woman is a mortal sin, and that all LGBT people should go to hell, clashing with a bunch of young Trans people who think they should get special 

Intersex is seemingly not a modern issue

I was wondering why Trans Ally was trending on Twitter, on a day when I couldnt logically think of a reason why. So I took a look, and wished I hadnt bothered. Seems the horribly right wing Times managed to post 4 anti Transgender articles in their newspaper today, and the reaction seems to have exploded accordingly. The trend is an eclectic mix between supporters, and those who think we should all be strung up, executed, or both! A few of the more crazy kind have clearly been hunting on Social Media for Trans people, found me, but yes, I’ve removed the abuse promptly. But unfortunately, with the swing to the extreme right that the world seems to be experiencing at present, is it any wonder? Sadly I doubt the anti LGBT hate all too prevalent at present will be going away any time soon!

Actually, that wasnt even what I was planning to write about tonight, it was an article I read yesterday, which I got reminded about, only after the blog had been done for the day.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-47842307?fbclid=IwAR2AywKMW6mFzGgisLeUbB6j_LC_1rMCVOxY0A6WHxQM-DrxwY9MXs5IwTQ

As the article says, 250 years on from the event, its impossible to know if Pulaski was intersex, female, or actually a man with a weird skeleton. Clearly the latter would seem unlikely, though not impossible, as his body may have got some strange wounds in various battles he took part in. Its also possible that Pulaski was a woman, hid the fact skilfully and rose to the position of General through her skills. Unlikely, I would have thought a physician would have noticed something missing when treating the General after being wounded.

In truth, in the 1770’s, if there was no obvious outward signs that the General had any female traits, then nobody would really have noticed. Medical skills back then were pretty basic, so anything less than basic, probably not expected, or discovered. Its only because by good fortunes, the bones were kept, and recently exhumed to move the statue, that someone decided to do some tests, and… the pelvic area was more that of a woman, than a man.

The thing to point out is that if the General, as seems likely, was intersex, there is very little chance he knew, during his 34 brief years of life. Back then, its fair to say it would have made little difference if he had known! But yes, at a time when LGBTI+ folk tend to feel like Marmite (loved or hated, nothing in between), this is quite a discovery.

Video time. Lets see, a woman who fought like a man? Was she intersex too? We will never know, as all the evidence was burnt, lol! This is a rare song, OMD never actually made a video of this, though of course ‘Maid of Orleans’ was another song about her, for which a video was made. But lets have some Legs & Co, and yes, I love their outfits for this.

From the cradle to her grave

There might have been some, other than me, who noticed the ironic coincidence today. Though American’s wouldnt have done so, as they celebrate one at a different date to us, but like a few other things (yes, finally they are on the correct summer time period, lol), they dont agree with us on when Mothers Day should be celebrated, but yes, here, it was today.

Today was also (seemingly generally) Transgender Day of Visibility, perchance. Which meant for me at least, today was both Mother’s Day, and TDOV (abbreviation, please), which is ironic, because my mother pretty much disowned me the day I came out as Transgender. Given that a matter of a couple of months later, I found out that I was actually Intersex (I have a womb, and heaven knows what else?), I find it hard to believe that she hadnt known that at least since shortly after my birth, as history (thank you, internet) has shown records of others where doctors/parents decided what gender the baby was ‘desired’ to be, and ‘bits’ adjusted accordingly.

But anyway, by the time I found out this critical piece of news, me, and her had gone our separate ways. Soon after that initial event, she’d passed away, issued sorted for her at least.

In truth, by now, I dont really care, its done, history. But when, a few days ago, I realised the conjunction today, I did a smile to myself. But fine, I must admit, if I get the op done as planned (health permitting), and we meet ‘somewhere in the next life’, I might just show her that she actually had a daughter, lol.

Video time again. Squeeze again, only a far more recent track. So, yes, with luck, I left the cradle as a baby boy, but I’ll go to the grave as a feisty old lady! I know, strictly, I’m not Transgender, but it sums up life that its easier to describe myself as such, than trying to explain intersex!

That was unexpected

It seems that today, here in the UK, there was something happening other than another vote on Brexit. No, the result of that definitely wasnt unexpected, lol. As to the result of the blood tests I had earlier today, I cant comment on how expected they are, as I wont get them until next week. The one thing I hadnt quite expected, but had thought might be the case, was the fact I needed a taxi to get me to and from the surgery today (Ella was busy elsewhere) rather than being able to walk there, as I’ve done previously. Its a fair way (nearly a mile), but nothing I wouldnt have been able to do, with a bit of effort, pre seizures. Ah well, and another medical look that suggests going back to work is an unlikely option. Talking of which, got a lovely ‘get well’ card from work arrived this morning too.

Oh fine, getting to the point, the event today was a Transgender Health Conference, which was pretty much discussing just how young children should be able to begin to transition. Fine, so I knew by the age of 6 that trying to be a boy wasnt working out. Then again, I’m not strictly transgender, I’m intersex, as I already have bits belonging to both genders. But yes,for ease in explanation and stuff, I’m transgender. Thats hard enough to explain to some, let alone getting into the area of Intersex!

My personal opinion? I dont think anyone should, or should be expected to conform to a gender pre puberty. Hey, thats when hormones really kick in, and give good clues on the matter. But I know, convenience, and conforming with the gender game, cant wait that long, can we? Unlike her, I do think there are transgender people, but convincing me that someone transgender, not intersex really knows that, pre puberty, well…?

Anyway, someone was having their say on Twitter, along the lines of whichever ‘bits’ you’re born with, thats your gender. Anyway, feeling sore, having been stabbed with needles for blood earlier that morning, and feeling mischievous, I asked what happened if you were born with both sets of ‘bits’, like me? I got a nice surprise, she knew that made me intersex, not a ‘gender of convenience’ person as she sees many transgender people, and it pretty much came down to the fact that I should live in the gender I feel comfortable in, which of course I do.

No, we didnt go away following each other, one way, or both, on Twitter, but I guess it shows that if you act in an adult manner, pre conceptions can be proved wrong, I’m delighted to say.

Video time. I’m sure I must have used this before, but I wanted something with an apt lyric line, and its a much under rated Squeeze song, so…

PS Sunday is Transgender Day of Visibility, supported by both Transgender, and Intersex people, hopefully everywhere?