Monthly Archives: January, 2012

Do you know the way?

To Leeds in my case, lol! Its been so long that I’ve almost forgotten by now! Only kidding, especially as I’ve been through there twice while on holiday. But its certainly been a while since I went to work, I suspect the email box will take some sorting out, mainly from stuff that will be totally irrelevant by now! Though the song might mention another city, somehow.

Yes, its back to work in the morning, and in the worst way possible, got to be at my desk for 8 am, and that means being up by about 4.45 in the morning, thats going to come as one major shock to the system, believe me! So alright, in one sense I’m just about ready to go back now, its just that tomorrow’s timing is not the way that I’d fancy doing so!

Its actually been a really nice break, for a stay at home one, and have got a lot of things done, some decent shopping trips, and more pleasingly, plenty of writing too. I admit it, at one point I’d got jaded with writing, but I’ve tried a different style of late, and am really enjoying it. Time is still going to be an issue for writing, but at least I will be more inclined to grab my opportunities now. But no, its not something I’m likely to post here lol! :p

So alright, I’m a minx, I did a Facebook posting today, hinting at having had a boob job, maybe you’ve seen it if you come from there? No, I havent, but after over 8 days of nigh continuous enhancer wearing, it feels like I have. (Not for baths, or massage, but all the rest of the time…) I am going to miss them tomorrow, not only for the shape, but I suspect the weight as well by now. I might yet go with them to work, but somehow I suspect management wouldnt get the joke, or like it, so probably not. I suspect I have the right to, but dont quote me on that? Anyone got a spare £4K or so lying around, then I really could give work a nice surprise!

And yes, for good, or bad, depending on your opinion, you might get less blogs again now for a while. I assume if you’re reading this, that fact will be bad, but…?

OK, dont worry about the street map of Leeds, I’m sure I’ll find my way! 😉

Alright, the video, Frankie Goes To Hollywood. They seemed to find their way to the top of the charts often enough, but this wasnt a single, which explains the basic video. And oh, I do know the way to San Jose (California), been there a couple of times, quite a nice place.

Let It Snow?

With comments from James, he seems to have deserted me of late lol. I suspect he’s busy, at least I really hope thats all it is.

Not for the first time this winter, they are forecasting snow for around here. Mind, they were last night, and temperatures didnt even drop below freezing! We did get a bit of very wet, sleety stuff as I was coming back from Doncaster, but that quickly turned to rain again, and well, that was it! Personally I’d rather not have any, especially when I have to travel (back to work on Tuesday), but given the time of year, and the fact I’m on the edge of the Pennines, its going to happen at some point! Hopefully, if it does, it will be when I’m not working. The chances of that, though…rolls eyes…

Yes, lets say the holiday is over, even if work might say otherwise, given that Sunday is part of our working week. But for me, thats it. Its actually been a good week, had a few trips out, and though some (especially me) might say I’ve spent too much in the shops, well, its all been stuff that will be useful at some point soon. Thats my excuse, and I’m sticking to it lol!

I’ve even, shock horror, found time to write another story today. Something a bit different, but thats always fun to do, I must say. Whether its any good, thats not for me to say of course.

But lets give the weather forecasters their moment in the choice of music tonight, but I hope they’re wrong. Who, me, a Doris Day fan, surely you joke? 😉

Maybe I got it wrong?

I have to admit it, my assumption was always that going with my natural cleavage (however tiny) was a safer route than being out there, using enhancers as a buxom old lady, but maybe I was looking at it from the wrong direction?

Yes, as some know, if they read this regularly, I’m on holiday this week. And lets face it, Girls just want to have fun, as Cyndi Lauper used to say, and no, thats not the video lol! So this week, all my trips out have been of the ‘fully stacked’ kind, and I’ve been surprised by the reaction, or rather the lack of it. Is it in human nature to assume that if someone is ‘well built’ that they must be female, even if other little details may suggest otherwise? Yes James, I know, before you say it that I have a decent pass rate, but even so…well, I was expecting a few funny looks at least, but no, not really happening. And yes, I still get a few when out with just my natural cleavage, which is why I was wondering whether it is the big boobs that do it, or not? Do men, and indeed women see them and assume, decent cleavage, must be a woman, which doesnt happen so much with my natural decolletage?

Or is it just that the people of Yorkshire are more open minded than I thought?

I admit it, on Facebook I jokingly posted about telling work I was getting a ‘boob job’ done this week, wearing the enhancers next Tuesday (my first day back, as Monday is one of my 2 days off next week) and seeing what reaction I got. Typically of our management, and indeed the other staff, that opportunity never arose. Management probably because they dont really care, other staff because we were so manic on Sunday (understaffed, what a shock!) that they didnt have time, assuming they cared anyway! To be honest, if I could keep a straight face, it might be tempting to do it anyway, but I doubt I would. This time of year you’re so wrapped up in coats and things, that no one would probably notice before work anyway! I think they might notice at work, but dont quote me on that with some of them lol!

The ‘fun’ would be lunchtime, out on the street. And in the shop where I get my lunch most days, they know how ‘big’ I am after all! And 2 cups is a lot to grow, even by plastic surgery I suspect? I know, if I had it done, I would develop somewhat, but that much? Its an issue I admit to being torn on, I like just rolling with my natural development, it makes me proud that I have decent breasts of my own, despite a lack of help from Leeds GIC. But at the same time, bigger boobies are nicer, though am I then just being fake?

I may well be able to pull it off (pardon the expression) most of the year, though I suspect summer Friday and Saturday evenings might not always be fun, given the number of idiots about then. And if I do it, I wouldnt want to pick and choose, I either need to be smallish B cup all the time, or well developed C cup all the time, that would only be fair on work and things.

I have no plans to not use the enhancers before I go back to work, the only time they will come off is for bathing etc, they arent designed for that, or for wearing without a bra lol! But otherwise…Well I wouldnt mind the enhancers making it impossible for me to remove them, but hey, they only happens in fiction, and the movies lol!

OK, the video, lets do something transgender related. I only know of 2 songs that openly talk about transgender women, and neither of them recent. One is Lola, by the Kinks, the other is…

How many work it out before clicking the link, I wonder? A look at the tags might give it away I guess?

There is, as far as I know, one time when I couldnt use enhancers, while flying. I assume as they are made of silicon, that they wouldnt pass any security tests, especially the TSA ones, given I fly to the US a lot? Unless someone wants to make me a foam pair, I assume they would be fine?

My name is…

No, its not Michael Caine, though that may serve as a hint to the video at the end lol!

But yes, it is Stevie Lou, but its not Nicks, I leave that surname to a certain pop star, its officially Nicholls. As most will realise, thats not the name I was baptised with of course, that might have been more, err, a mans name, and I changed the surname as well when I changed gender.

And yes, that is what it says on the passport too, I must admit the name choice was a bit of a ‘flag of convenience’ thing when I changed it. Stevie Lou is nicely gender ambiuguous for the bigots that are out there, whereas Stephanie Louise might just prove a bit too in the face for some? I suspect if I was being formally introduced to someone important, I might go with Stephanie Louise though, but the odds on me going  to Royal Ascot, or a Buckingham Palace garden party must rank as very slim lol!

To be honest, Stevie Lou probably suits the new female me better than the formal name would anyway, its kind of cute, I’d love to say like me, but…Its fresh, and fun, a bit like me since the change was made.

And I’ll be honest, 90 odd per cent of people at work are fine with it, there are one or two that still use Steve, but even they are being worn down by inevitability, so it seems. The he/she thing is a bit more of an issue with some, but I can see their point in a very slight way, but yes, it still grates at times, but I certainly dont get militant, or stroppy about it, and it seems to work in time, as one of the ‘old school’ changed hastily from he to she on Sunday when talking about me, so hey…!

The funny thing is, its 2 pieces of bad news in the past that really pushed me on with it. The first was when Farnell made me redundant back in 2009(I think?) for several reasons. One, I was tired of the job, wanting to get out, but just couldnt give myself the needed kick up the backside to do so. They gave me it, and a nice pay off to boot. I was out there as transgender, but it was made clear that I was ‘expected’ to act, and dress as a guy, even if all the office knew, and all my reps too, and no complaints from anyone. But now, if I could get a new job, I could take things further, and so…I did! Yes, thats when I did the first hypnotherapy session for confidence, and I sailed through the interview. And yes, as history knows, got the job!

I wasnt outrageous, but yes, the clothes certainly started to cross the gender barrier, and the use of a handbag certainly did. No, I didnt come out there at first, just let them think what they wanted. Did come out after a while though… But then, about 20 months or so ago, they cut back on telebetting in Leeds, calamity loomed. No, they were setting up a new team I discovered, and soon found out they wanted me as part of it. But, wait for it, there would be a new contract to sign. So that was when I got the kick up the backside to get my name changed, as yes, I could have my contract in my new name if I got the papers cleared in time, and did.

So thats the thoroughly boring tale of how I became Stevie Lou Nicholls, but it wasnt enough for Madness to make a record for me lol! So you’ll have to settle for this gem instead. It was a very minor hit by their standards, just no idea why that was the case.

Punches air to  celebrate century lol!

One By One

I think its fair to say thats how my blog posting has gone lol. The crazy thing is, all those blogs, the next one after this, I hit the century! No, I wont expect the crowd to applaud at Headingley (or insert major cricket ground you know) for this ton when it arrives early next week (I strongly suspect), or indeed anyone else to do so in all honesty, but hey, thats quite a number, and one I never imagined reaching in all honesty when I started this last year.

Judging by the number of tags I’ve got, I’ve covered a wide range of subjects so far, and plan to continue to do so. Some might occur more often than others, my money being on cricket, and transgender issues being high on that potential list. There will certainly be something from Seattle in April, and more from New England in September. There will almost certainly be more frustration with a certain train company as well lol!

I’m on holiday next week, nothing wild planned, a few days out, one day of pampering, combined with an effort to get my knees, and back, into a healthier state, the latter being more of a challenge for Linda, I suspect! I hope the weather holds up, the forecast is reasonable, but we all know how reliable they are! Got 2 more shifts at work before then, but then a week of being able to sleep to a ‘reasonable’ hour, and a few days of de-stressing will be good for me. Got so much holiday left to take in the year (till end of March) that I’ve still got 4 more days after this, at the beginning of March!

I’ll try to come up with something special for the century posting, though in all honesty, at the moment I have no idea what. So, if anyone (James, or others free to comment) has any ideas on that front…?

Without wishing to sound like an Oscars winner, I would like to thank all those who read this for doing so, the stats do tell me I’m not just posting to myself (and James) which is nice to know!

The song, for once I fancy that none of my readers will know this song, given it was a B side, 40 years ago by the New Seekers. I might have a senior, British reader here, but not many I suspect? It was the runner up for UK Eurovision entry for that year in Edinburgh, a song called Beg, Steal Or Borrow beat it, and came 2nd overall. I hope you like…

Doing A Dolly Parton…

No, I dont mean getting a full head of blonde hair (quite literally) by any means, allegedly with Dolly its a wig anyway. I vaguely remember her owning up to that fact, but please dont quote me on that. To be honest, that much hair for real would really be a maintenance job, and I’m not sure if I’m up to that anyway.

Nor, unless someone else is paying for it, do I mean a Dolly P type boob job, though those at least are natural for her. I have to suspect they must weigh heavy at times though. Alright, I would mind being a full B, or medium C cup naturally, or even by cheating, if I didnt have to pay for it, but its not going to happen I guess, so…?

No, what I do mean is I’m working 9 till 5 on Wednesday, my next day at work. Yes, I’m off tomorrow, yay! When you think about it, thats one thing that has really changed in the last 30 years since the film was made, working hours. Back then that was standard office hours, whereas now, almost anything goes. Heck, my shifts come in anywhere between 8 am, and 9.30 pm, and the centre stays available till 10.30! The other factor that has changed dramatically since then is the working week. That was the point, it was Monday to Friday, 9 till 5, and that went for most office workers. Now I suspect people who get all weekends and bank holidays off must be almost in the minority! But as someone who has spent most of her working life in the betting industry, I’m used to it, my culture shock was working only Monday to Friday at my previous job!

And yes, I know one respondent here will point out he has to work every Sunday lol!

Anyway, in the absence of offers of a Dolly wig, or a paid for Dolly type boob job, lets head for the video. Anyone who hasnt worked out what this might be, well…

And yes, I will probably sing this to myself at least once on Wednesday!

Winter Wonderland

So alright, thats a slight exaggeration over here at present, but in terms of this winter at least, its beginning to feel that way.

No, no snow as yet, though plenty of frost, it must be said. It has now barely struggled above freezing, but only just, and at 2 in the afternoon, its not going to stay that way for long! Mind, given that 1 Facebook friend in Fairbanks, Alaska has been reporting temperatures well into minus fahrenheit (think it was -42 yesterday), we really havent got anything by dropping down to the balmy climes of mid twenties lol!

The trains did fail to run yesterday morning, but that was down to signal failure, not due to three grains of snow on the line! But give them time, I’m sure that will happen! Thankfully, as you might gather from this, I’m off today, so can avoid the cold. Unfortunately I’ve got to be in work tomorrow for 8 am, so I’m going to notice the cold then! I’m not looking forward to being up before 5, believe me!

I also know that its going to get worse before it gets better, and compared to many areas of the world, this is a mere cakewalk. But for us wimpy Brits…lol! But yes, I’d still love the chance to work in the North Eastern corner of the US/Canada all the same, despite the temperatures, and weather there. Seattle might be nicer though lol!

I hope the weather is better the week after next when I’m off, but knowing my luck, it will be 6 inches of snow then! I’d hate to have to arrange a ‘boob job’ for the week as the only alternative to being indoors all the time lol!

Alright, weather whinge over, for now at least. Whats that, music video, did you say? Well the title is a dead giveaway, or it should be by now at least given my style with the postings I do. The artist, well… Think carefully about which blonde I’d love to look like, and which era is the ‘age’ of said look I’d love to be. Got it? If not, click the magic button and find out

Oh, go on, be a devil and click the link anyway!

So In Love?

Yes, I might actually have been at one point, but when your body is playing as many tricks on you as mine has done, can you really be sure? Yes, I lived with someone for 12 years, the only meaningful relationship in my whole life, but even then, the last few years werent really as a couple. I knew something was wrong, I just assumed it was her and me drifting apart, but shortly after that I was fortunate enough to discover the real reason why, and since then, beyond one very brief attempt, I’ve been wise enough to give up on the whole romance thing, probably for the best.

Of course one major factor back then that probably didnt help any relationship, was trying to be a male partner to a female. Having a female partner was fine, its amazing how many transgender people are ‘same sex gender’ in their desires, but I didnt know that at the time. Now in all honesty I suspect I’m too independent for a relationship, even as a woman, lesbian relationship or otherwise. Also I doubt I could find a partner with such a total lack of interest in sex as I have anyway! I’ve also got to a point where making new friends is tricky for me, even where I’m accepted as a woman, but I suspect thats more because of the years of trying to be someone I really wasnt, than anything else.

I admit it, in recent times I’ve wondered if I was really in love even then, or was I just trying to conform to how people saw life should be? Hey, even I couldnt answer that one honestly, even with this much retrospect involved. I think, and certainly hope its easier for this generation than mine, it does seem slightly easier to be gay, or trans nowadays than back in the 70’s and 80’s, even if not yet perfect, especially in some parts of the world.

I dont think now, that even if I had all the surgery, that my attitude to love and sex would really change, its all too ingrained into me now. Twenty or thirty years ago, who knows, but its purely a hypothetical question of course, it didnt happen, and probably wont now, so the matter is unlikely to arise. And no, none of those I knew back then know about the new me, I do wonder how some would react though? Mixed bag, I suspect.

Right, thats enough musings for tonight, lets get to the video. Anyone old enough will have worked it out anyway from the title, and even more so if, as they should have done by now, they’ve worked out I might be an OMD fan! So here it is,

The Yes Factor

And yes, that title is a play on that awful X Factor programme, and the talentless wannabees it produces. Especially as I know there is real talent out there, including one really excellent busker on the streets of Leeds, who deserves a far bigger audience than the few of us passing through town. But sadly, not only does he have far too much genuine talent for the likes of Cowell and Co, he’s also now a bit too old for them as well.

And no, I’m not a talent spotter either, if I was, I’d be signing him up, and these two here like a shot, because they have real talent, not the kind hyped up to the heavens, with nothing to back it up.

I know nothing about Gary Simmons or Kirsty Marr, beyond the small collection of videos on You Tube. The video here suggests they are British, covering Bucks Fizz songs might be a clue on that as well! The comments state this was filmed near Bristol, so I suspect they are somewhere in that corner of the country? What I do know is that both have great singing voices, make really clever videos, and I suspect they also have a wonderful sense of humour too. Yet beyond the small audience who have found them on You tube, and their friends, their talent remains unknown to the wider world. I admit it, I only found them because of their spoof Bucks Fizz video, when searching for the original, but I’m so glad I did. No, I’m not posting that here, because of the ending, that might not appeal to all. It is editing, he clearly survived, but, as there might be young people reading this…

Yes, I’m tagging both of them on this for one reason, the hope that they, or someone who knows them might just read this, and let them know. Or even better, that some record company person might click on the video, see how good they are, and sign them up! I’m only posting one video link here, but feel free to click through and hear some more.

Kirsty and Gary, I hope you get to hear about this, and I hope you get more publicity out of it, and more see just how talented you are. I know these blogs only have a small audience, but hopefully the whole friend of a friend thing can come into play, and they go viral at least.

The song, a cover of a Phil Oakey (Human League) song, very well done, and as I said, filmed near Bristol, a fact I know thanks to Gary’s comments, though Clifton bridge is pretty recognisable all the same.

Where do you go to?

Right, lets see if we can generate any audience participation other than the wonderful James! Come out you lurkers, and post lol!

So where do you go to, my lovelies, when you’re alone in your bed? And anyone who says to sleep will be shot through the magic of internet powers lol. Do you dream a little dream of me, I doubt it very much? And yes, one of those is a massive clue to the video at the end.

The interesting thing is, that if I dream, I’m a proper woman, no issues with my body, maybe its telling me something? Quite a joy that in all honesty, though to be fair, I do look much the same, some might say unfortunately, but I’d never say that!

But no, this isnt really about dreams, more about dream destinations. Where do you yearn to return to, where do you want to go for the first time. I think I’ve written often enough about where I want to go back to again, and I’ve mentioned at least one place, Alaska, especially Nome that I’d love to visit, but suspect I never will. Churchill as well has been mentioned, what is it with me and cold places in winter? Maybe I’m hoping something might get frozen and fall off lol?

But now, I need to start looking closer to home as well, the body is hinting that long distance travel will have to come to a halt at some point, so…Alright, cold, there’s Svalbard on my list nearer to home, but…I think the cities on the top of my list for when the body can only take trips to Europe are probably Prague and Vienna, never been to either yet. But hopefully it will be a while yet before I have to cut back that far, fingers crossed for that. Naples, Paris, no, not been to either, though I’ve flown to Naples airport on the way to a holiday near Amalfi, but didnt see the city at all. Yes, more hints about the video lol! Cant say either are near the top of my list though.

So where do my readers go, not in your bed, but on your dream trips you’ve done, and dream trips you long to do. I know from the stats its not just me and James here, but we seem to be the only ones posting, so type away please. Talking of stats, the ‘other’ blog has twice the hits of this one, despite less publicity, ironic isnt it?

OK, the video. This wasnt my first choice, but then I thought about it, listened to a few more videos at You Tube, and lo and behold, a 60’s song, not an 80’s one, though this is a much more recent live version, the full version, not the single one. Oh alright, despite the suggestions, it is the one relating to the title here. No, I have no idea who he was singing it about, I was only 9 when this first came out. All I know is I loved it then, and I dont think its aged at all.

PS It would have been Belinda Carlisle, and you probably will get it sometime soon!