OK, fine, this one doesnt fit in with the general blog sequence, but given it relates to a picture taken of me today, and is something a bit silly, and fun, and its posted everywhere else but the blogs, I thought I’d throw it up quickly here.
As mentioned yesterday, I decided not to bother with waiting for the hair to fall out, I decided to get rid of most of it yesterday, as the silver bob wig had arrived, and roll with that while at home for weekend. I also have a very old (nearly 15 years old) silver Lycra bodysuit, which I can report I can still get into, though the zip no longer functions, hardly a great surprise. But anyway, put the two together, along with a silver top, to help keep me warm, and…arrange to get a photo taken, this one in fact,
Now the wig isnt amazing, but given it cost about £7 ($10). thats hardly the biggest shock in the whole world, but it will do for this. The ‘bulge’ is actually the connection point for the zip on the back brace, in case anyone thought it might be another trans girl issue, lol. No, believe me, that is miniscule nowadays!
The amusing moment from all this is that the 2 better quality redhead wigs were marked to be delivered on Monday, so wearing this all day (given picture wasnt being taken until teatime) wasnt going to be a problem, as no one would be calling until then, and Linda knew the plan anyway. So yes, the doorbell goes about noon, its the delivery man with the parcel with the wigs in it. Not that I really cared, answered the door, got the parcel, and…he didnt say anything, but didnt hang around more than a few seconds either!
I must admit the silver lycra bodysuit with ‘extras’ had its advantages to wear, and its disadvantages too. The big advantage, extra support for my spine, which was heaven in truth, could do with at least a dozen (15?) with a working zip (sponsorship deal?), both for support, and for the fact that the table set up for treatment isnt designed to support a damaged spine, and they would help. Why so many? Well simply, 5 days a week, with 15-20 miles of travel in each direction for radiotherapy plus waiting for transport home afterwards, I’m not going to have time for matters like laundry and the like for the 6 weeks of radiotherapy. Oh, and lets face it, if you think I wont want to do more with a silver wig, and silver bodysuits, well… Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to help with that matter. Need to get suits in UK for delivery here soon, thats all, as treatment starts on 28th.
(Note for those getting both blogs, though not identical, close enough for most)
Fine, video. Not Dawn’s greatest hit, by any stretch of the imagination, but the title tweak works, OK?
OK, the sentiment relates more to Bride of Frankenstein than Metropolis, but besides that…But in actuality, my little bit of hair that I have left is a mix of dark, and white, just like Elsa Lanchester in the film, though sadly I wasnt given the lightning treatment, but other than that…
I have done a bit of walking of late, partly because I’m determined to try and improve my mobility, and partly because while in the warmth, and safety of the hospital, why not? But outdoors, havent really done more than a couple of hundred yards at any single time until today. Not that I walked a mile today, about 600 yards at most each way, with a nice gap in between trips, but I did it, and it wasnt too bad at all. Agreed, it helped the only real road I had to cross both ways, I timed it well traffic wise, just as well, because I’m still pretty slow but better than I was.
In truth, I feel better now all that hair is gone, even if I hadnt really noticed how much I now had until I tried to put the wig on at least. Yes, funnily enough, it fits very nicely now, lol. No, havent yet matched the outfit to the hair, but thats coming tomorrow for sure. Well, providing the over 10 year old silver Lycra suit doesnt fall apart with age when I try to put it on. Seems OK, but giving it a little stretch, and trying to actually put it on might be different issues?
Though yes, hair wise at least, I’ve been a silver lady ever since I got back from hairdressers, and fine, I’m loving it. I’m not sure whether Eric didnt notice it, decided to ignore it, or just not comment once I had it on, but anyway? Ella did at least, the moment she saw it, in a positive way. I’m not sure how the hospital staff would take to it if I wore it next Thursday to the meet the staff/machine appointment, so I guess the safe thing will be to go as a redhead, but maybe…?
Funny, next week is the last non 5 day week of travel to Leeds for a while, though I now have 2 trips over there at least. As well as the one mentioned, the rearranged Occupational Therapy appointment is now on Tuesday afternoon, for which I will definitely have to be a redhead. Short bob, or shoulder length look though? Choices, choices, as those 2 wigs are due to arrive on Monday. But fine, I admit it, I do love the silver look to the hair in truth, though I will need a newer, and less figure hugging clothing option if I’m going to match that in look, for sure. Well, people have been asking what I wanted for Christmas, so… Might also want a better quality silver wig too, lol! I know, but I thought this was only for fun, but the look is definitely growing on me!
I know one thing that probably wont be growing on me after the next 7 weeks or so, travelling to Leeds, and back! But other than that…
So, to the video. Well I walked to the hairdressers today, and then walked back, happier with the hair length, so…
Well yes, the big decision has been made, the hair (or pretty much all of it) is going before the radiotherapy, and chemo gets to influence the matter. In truth, I cannot even vaguely remember the last time I went over 7 months without getting my hair cut, but tomorrow marks the day that I finally catch up with it. I will probably just go for pretty much a ‘enough to leave a minimal something’ cut, rather than getting rid of every last hair, especially as the only wig I have actually got at the moment is the silver bob one, though the 2 redhead (1 bob, 1 just below shoulders), better quality ones are due for delivery by 21st (Monday) at the latest, and in truth, I have no known reason why I would need to go out before then anyway. So, the only one really likely to see the ‘silver robot’ is Linda when she calls at the weekend anyway, assuming the redhead ones dont arrive earlier. Well, the robot will need to put the dustbin on Sunday, but if you think I’m going to worry about that, lol?
Funny thing is, it wont be my first time of using a wig by any means, as in the transition period, between 2003, and 2009, my standard way of doing things was keeping my own hair short, and then using a wig for all the girl moments, so…
Yes, I did try to get the silver wig on already, but seriously, my hair is now far too long, and amazingly thick for anything like that to work well. But tomorrow afternoon… I might, or might not pass on wearing one of my old silver lycra suits (assuming I can still get in them, they are well over 10 years old) at some point over the weekend too!
Funny thing is, after tomorrow, I cant be a bobbed blonde again until the 29th, at the earliest. Did think it was going to be 24th, but had a call this morning changing the appointment to a better day for the team, which is fine by me. In truth, I had plans of going redhead anyway, before all this happened, but will be fun to have options, anyway. Still going in on 24th anyway, to meet the team providing my treatments, so as long as they arent expecting a blonde, lol? Long haired redhead, might be fun!
Then beyond getting the letter from the Doctor’s to confirm the ‘unfit to work in a call centre’, as voice, and mouth are still not working right, or likely to be anytime soon, on top of the treatment/recovery period issue, for which I’ve already told them I dont need before Monday, and sent off to work, thats pretty much everything prepared forms wise, other than when the PIP (Independence payment) forms arrive, which could be, you tell me! Hopefully before 28th, as my time will get more limited after that, but other than that…
OK, no rhinestones, unless someone wants to provide me with a suitable dress (that would be fun), but some might regard me as a bit of a cowgirl, so…
I would say strictly that this is probably the last double blog for a while, but in truth it wont be, even if the actual subject matter will be. Thats because something will be mentioned here, where readers know I’m Intersex, which wont be on the other one, where they think I’m a natural woman with a robot fetish, lol. Heaven knows what twist I give on the subject matter there, unless I know Rotwang, or Frankenstein is reading that one!
The day started in amusing fashion, as the advice you’re given is to be ready 2 hours before your appointment, which for me yesterday was 2 in the afternoon. So… 10.50 in the morning, the vehicle taking me to the hospital is parked outside, waiting for me! I assumed there were only 2 other people from this area going to the hospital, with an earlier appointment, so…Anyway, upstairs, get shoes on, get coat on, grab handbag, and ready to go. Actually, the restaurant at the hospital, where I ended up having lunch was fine, if more expensive than eating at home before leaving, lol.
So I switched my plans around, and started with getting the blood sample taken, instead of after everything else was done. After that, I went to check my transport for Occupational Therapy today had been sorted out (not, but very swiftly sorted) before heading to the bowels of the hospital (2 floors below ground floor) for the fitting of the mask, and stuff. No, not a full face, iron one, but anyway, was all good fun. All followed up about an hour later by a scan to check the fit, and basic comfort of wearing it, both of which were fine…on the second machine. First CT scanner they’d used in the morning was throwing a grumpy moment, but all soon sorted, and done.
Right, the big date, I suppose you want to know? First session will be on Monday, 28th October which is actually a week or 2 earlier than I’d been expecting from what I was told, but thats good news! Sessions will then be 5 days a week (Monday to Friday) for 6 weeks, which means the last one should be Friday, 6th December. After that its meant to be a minimum of 4 weeks of recovery period, though I’m working on 6 weeks personally, partly because of my age, and my back issue, and also because it will be fine to allow extra because of Christmas/New Year period, even if I’m sure I wont be overexerted by anyone, but…
Oh right, that subject I can mention here, but not on the other blog? Yes, like any good flapper, getting the hair bobbed isnt an issue for me, but I always said that after I retired I was going to get something else ‘bobbed’ too, the bits! No, not going to rush it, but I’m thinking that end of Summer 2020, or far more likely the Autumn, maybe my thoughts need to turn to that matter, and another operation in time, lol? I’d always said after retirement it would be a plan anyway, but I cant deny that all thats happened over the last 6 months has made it more of an issue I want sorted, just in case. Yes, already checked, and been told this cancer issue makes no difference to getting it done, so… I have no idea at this point where I stand on the matter, medically, to be honest.
Technically I’ve lived fully as a woman for 10 years, so I’m way over the limit on that point. Equally, I’ve never actually done hormones, but given I’m Intersex, I have no idea where I would place on a hormone test anyway. Its quite possible I have one obvious boy bit, but that could actually be it, especially given I have a womb! Never had children, but then again, was never in a position to have them, as the only woman I ever had ‘unprotected’ sex with, wasnt in a position to have them by then anyway!
Yes, its about a year down the road, for sure, but an interesting thing to think about, for sure?
Its funny how things happen, this morning was meant to be last trip to Leeds for nearly a fortnight (24th), but it never happened. Irony, my Occupational Therapist rang in this morning to the hospital, unable to go to work. It will be rearranged, but for now, just when…?
Right, video time. The cancer treatment, very rightly is first in line, but after that, well, second in line?
To be honest, its worked out for the best that I had the taxi drive home from hell yesterday afternoon, which meant that all I wanted to do yesterday evening was have an evening watching baseball (though sadly the Dodgers lost, after I’d gone to bed), and not writing up blogs, as I can now cheat, and cover 2 days of news in one blog.
Oh, the taxi driver, no wonder the NHS funds are needed, because he cheated the route home so much, that fare must have been nearly double what it needed to be, but anyway. I was going to report him to Leeds City Council over it, but unsurprisingly, given everything now, I cant remember his licence number, so sadly he will now get away with it, but anyway…
Yesterday afternoon was the day the plan got sorted out, and signed off. I also delighted myself by finding out my walking distance without hurting myself, is getting better, though we are still talking in terms of about 100 yards, than London Marathon stuff, lol. Still, Occupational Therapy in Leeds on Friday morning will hopefully see a bit more improvement too. Other than that, a bit of Speech Therapy help to be arranged, not because words arent right, though still faint, more down to the fact that I have a dribble issue at moment, though even that seems far less today, good news. Other thing is a Social Help contact, to sort out things like Disabled Bus pass, postal vote stuff,and the letter I need so that work can take the last step for medical retirement process. But as that couldnt be done before I agreed plan yesterday afternoon…
Plan is to start Radiotherapy in about 3 weeks time, for a period of 6 weeks, 5 days a week. Some might be shrewd enough to notice, that the exact start date is going to mean it might be over just before Christmas/New Year period, or just after, no guarantees either way, but holiday period, no treatments anyway, quite rightly. I will be doing Chemo tablets too during this period, and then do a few more of those in the 6 month period that follows too, but only a handful or so. I’ve been told that I need to allow about 4 weeks after that to get over the treatment, and then about a couple more weeks or so before contemplating flying or anything, all fine by me. Which in my eyes, gives me a probable date to do much at all as towards the end of February in likelihood. No promises on date, but it looks a fair date to me, with an anniversary on the horizon, March 15th, the first big seizure!
Just after the time, the lovely people at the guest house, sent me an email re the 3 nights that we never stayed there, saying the credit would stand for future use when I needed them. To be fair, I doubt they imagined it would take a year to get to that point, but it will. So, being the polite, and fair lady I am, I just asked if that date would still be fine to use it. Took about 20 minutes to get an email back confirming it would, so…Kudos to Pelham Lodge Guest House, Blackpool! No, Film Festival is later next year, but there is still the matter of the tram journey I never completed…
OK, end piece, got the call this morning, going to Leeds on Thursday afternoon to get measured for my plastic mask that will be used to direct the treatment to the needed area. Will also have CT, and blood test done on same trip, to give them the base settings they need pre treatment. As a few friends would know, I’d prefer a full face Iron Mask, rather than a positioned plastic one, but hey, its a start! Maybe the latter can follow post treatment, lol?
Right, to video now. One of my favourite groups of all time, one of their very early hits, live
Now forgive me if this isnt perfect English, or gets a repeat or two, but anyway… and for those who do both blogs, it will be one version for both, so no point reading both. If you subscribe to both, whatever…
I might try and cover a few recent events in next few days, but politics on both sides of pond will not be among them, believe me… both because I’m not allowed stress, and we dont all agree on matters (I have blocked 2 people on my Social Media for 30 days for awful postings, if they werent work related, would be gone), easier just to go without.
As was stated, I went for an MRI at Huddersfield Hospital on the last stay, as a result of which, they found a growth on a part of the brain. For all the talk about the NHS over here, from here, referral to the expert department in Leeds was arranged very quickly. From there, entry into hospital to deal with it was also rapid, for biopsy primarily, though they did say that any growth that was easy to deal with would also be got out.
The latter was all done on Monday, I was released on Thursday back home. Provisional feelings are that March was first sign of it, so results look promising, but it will be the end of week before I know more, so no point making comments asking! Follow up, and plan visit will almost certainly be Wednesday, but to cover me…
Plan, and next step will depend on results, just saying, so see above. Brain gets better every day slowly. Mobility is awful, but thats my spine issue, not this. Until Wednesday, I’m not certain if my spine pills are compatible with stuff for brain, so laying off until I can ask then. Equally, I will only make decisions on things like work after meeting, and see a timetable, and plan. Though as my wonderful benefits lady, and a wonderful lady here as pointed out, 2 medicals (benefits and incapacity) passed would settle that matter just on spine damage, regardless. Both are sure I would pass in a negative sense/fail (depending on how you look at it) them anyway, so can do the medical option if I wish to.
I will do a couple of follow ups on this, but be patient. One at some point after follow up, so probably end of week, or next weekend. The other will be after talking things over with friends, and my unofficial family as to what route I go after this, but until I have all the info, and a plan, no point doing so. That might be a few weeks at least, just saying…
Oh, and to finish on something different, more for my US friends, but anyway…
Dodgers are in the Baseball playoffs again, hopefully this year, one step better? And in NFL, Bills are 3-0 till tonight, though I doubt that unbeaten record will last the visit of Kate’s Patriots tonight (my time), same as her college team took our unbeaten record last night. Still love her, and her support regardless, lol.
As I say, no video, but I’m not sure how many watch them anyway!
I do promise to explain all this, and the gap, about a couple of weeks or so, should be, so just wait, OK?
No, the blog hasnt come to an end, its just that currently my health issues are such that I have neither the time, or strength to do them. There are reasons for this which I’d rather not go into, OK
Oh, there is plenty of news events I’d love to comment on this week, but as strictly at this time I’m still a civil servant, I will pass on them, even if the PM, and the police seem to want to break those rules, I’ll be good.
But yes, for both my past life self, and this one, it seems its going to be quite a weekend. Well, I’ve got through the first week, weekday wise at least, without a minder in the house, other than the cats, and I dont think they care how I’m getting on as long as I need feed them anyway!
So, lets start with my past life self, who might also lay in my future, but more on that shortly. Yes, on this date, 114 years ago, a new baby girl entered the world in Pottawatomie County, Oklahoma, to be given the name of Clara Elaine Johnson by her parents. 20 years later, via a stay in Texas, moved to Hollywood, dreaming of making herself a career in the movies, probably as a star. Well, she got one, the career, more so once talkies took off, and musicals, because clearly she’d had dance lessons at some point, done decently, and after that, the chorus dance lines at various studios (principally MGM, Warner, and RKO) beckoned until at least 1937 (last year I’ve traced her, the first being 1929) and she would have been 32 by then, so that might have been it?
After that, marriage, a daughter, and a death around 50 (I’m certain smoking related) for which I lack much detail, as I dont know her married surname, and then shortly after that, a new life, me! I might manage more years than her, but unless they can solve my health issues, it might not be a ton more!
Which leads on to me, as tomorrow marks the date of my rearranged MRI at Huddersfield Hospital. Heaven knows what they are going to discover there. Will it just be Epilepsy, or something more serious, heaven knows. But at least its the big step to finding out at least. I’ve no idea what it will be like, but I want it sorted, regardless. Despite them saying they couldnt find anything new at the Hospital, I definitely dont feel as strong now as I did before then, but I will try to survive to let the Neurologist make the calls on that. Reading earlier suggests it will be a week or two to hear, but hopefully soon. I need to get the rest of my life mapped out, whatever it might bring. Hopefully the finish of gender change, but will have to see what I’m allowed to do on that front.
New AI brain would be nice, but just wishful thinking I’m certain. Full robot body definitely would be, sadly.
As to where the rest of my life might be spent, who knows, or how long it will be. Though if the only brain I can have is busted, maybe I dont want to live too long anyway?
Right, video time. What might the future hold. I’ll say it, I’d love one of those Metropolis Robot body’s, and brain capacity, if offered. Yes, both of those things in the video
Yes, I know its been a long wait for this, and I only wish I could say it was for a good reason, but it isnt! Yes, I know, I wasnt meant to go to the hospital before next Saturday, but I couldnt wait that long, I was there in advance, last Saturday. Funny thing is, I dont actually think I passed out, but I probably wasnt far from doing so, and certainly wasnt capable of simply things like getting to my room upstairs, even with the aid of the chair up the stairs, I still couldnt get to my room, so off I end up going to hospital again in an ambulance, but at least this time I knew the journey was happening.
No, they couldnt find anything seriously wrong, so I got released at the end of the evening, and ended up getting a taxi home. I’m not convinced how well I really was, and in truth, anything up to this Morning is a blur. Better now, though I wouldnt expect to do anything clever today, put it that way. Computer wasnt working too well either, but seemingly back to normal today.
Hopefully now my next visit to the hospital will be this Saturday, for my session in the MRI tube, to see just how busted my brain really is. Fine, I would like the tube to do more than just check on my brain, but anyway…No, I dont think brainwashing service is available lol! In truth, I, and a few friends in the US, as well as the ones over here will be glad when thats done. Yes, Kiefer, I wouldnt put the brain rearranging system past you, oh I wish!
The only other planned change in the near future is a change of hair colour, yes, getting it done after the MRI tube experience, going to be a redhead of some hue! Suspect more strawberry than fluorescent, but I dont know exactly what June has in mind. Fun thing is, the only colour picture I have of Clara Johnson is from 1935, when she was very blonde, but thats as natural as mine! The picture from 1929 in black and white is either soft blonde, or maybe red, hmm? Either way, it will be fun to have a change after all this time.
Hopefully soon I can start planning a trip to the US, just not sure where, or when at this point. Whether its holiday, health, or combination at this point, who knows. Might even come back a whole new woman, physically, and or mentally, who knows. I suspect hoping to come back with an AI brain, or whole new robot body might be hoping too much lol. Would love that though! Clara Johnson, 20 something lookalike, oh heaven!
Right, video. A clue in the blog title. Gone with the Cat Stevens version of the song, as finding live from 60’s isnt easy!