Ah yes, timing is a wonderful thing, or the opposite, just maybe?
The last 2 years, in the baseball playoffs, my team of sorts, the Los Angeles Dodgers have taken me all the way to the ‘final’ of the playoffs, then managed to lose at that point. But yes, they got there at least.
So fine, this year, yet again they have clearly the best record in their half of the baseball league, so hopes raised again, and all that. Except that the final in the National Division, to decide who plays the winner of the American Division is, err, St Louis, and Washington.
Basically, all season long, for 162 games of regular season, the team managers have a system that they work to. You have a team of 5 starters (though obviously injuries, and form can change who they might be), and when they are either having a bad day, or when they have thrown their designated number of pitches, they switch to the pitchers who are selected to finish the games for their teams. Simple logic, OK? Especially with a team like the Dodgers, who generally have a good group of pitchers to finish off the games.
Then you get to the playoffs, and simple logic goes straight out the window. You have all these people used to pitching in the late innings, so you turn to someone who started a game 3 days earlier (and had an exhausting cross country flight in between) instead of them. Yes, it went wrong, of course. Then, for a reason best known to the manager, after that, he doesnt go with one of the better later pitchers, he picks one of the worse ones, he gives up 4 runs in 1 innings, and out go the Dodgers.
No, it wont stop me watching some of the playoffs, though mainly the next day, as most of the games now will be night games in the US, in other words, the middle of the night for me. Its actually been a funny playoff season for me of course, after the last few weeks of the regular season, because I’ve actually missed so much of it with hospital time. But put it this way, however many wigs I end up getting (4 is current plan), none will be in Dodgers blue, lol
Right, video time. Getting back to the old system, there is quite a clue in the blog title
To be honest, its worked out for the best that I had the taxi drive home from hell yesterday afternoon, which meant that all I wanted to do yesterday evening was have an evening watching baseball (though sadly the Dodgers lost, after I’d gone to bed), and not writing up blogs, as I can now cheat, and cover 2 days of news in one blog.
Oh, the taxi driver, no wonder the NHS funds are needed, because he cheated the route home so much, that fare must have been nearly double what it needed to be, but anyway. I was going to report him to Leeds City Council over it, but unsurprisingly, given everything now, I cant remember his licence number, so sadly he will now get away with it, but anyway…
Yesterday afternoon was the day the plan got sorted out, and signed off. I also delighted myself by finding out my walking distance without hurting myself, is getting better, though we are still talking in terms of about 100 yards, than London Marathon stuff, lol. Still, Occupational Therapy in Leeds on Friday morning will hopefully see a bit more improvement too. Other than that, a bit of Speech Therapy help to be arranged, not because words arent right, though still faint, more down to the fact that I have a dribble issue at moment, though even that seems far less today, good news. Other thing is a Social Help contact, to sort out things like Disabled Bus pass, postal vote stuff,and the letter I need so that work can take the last step for medical retirement process. But as that couldnt be done before I agreed plan yesterday afternoon…
Plan is to start Radiotherapy in about 3 weeks time, for a period of 6 weeks, 5 days a week. Some might be shrewd enough to notice, that the exact start date is going to mean it might be over just before Christmas/New Year period, or just after, no guarantees either way, but holiday period, no treatments anyway, quite rightly. I will be doing Chemo tablets too during this period, and then do a few more of those in the 6 month period that follows too, but only a handful or so. I’ve been told that I need to allow about 4 weeks after that to get over the treatment, and then about a couple more weeks or so before contemplating flying or anything, all fine by me. Which in my eyes, gives me a probable date to do much at all as towards the end of February in likelihood. No promises on date, but it looks a fair date to me, with an anniversary on the horizon, March 15th, the first big seizure!
Just after the time, the lovely people at the guest house, sent me an email re the 3 nights that we never stayed there, saying the credit would stand for future use when I needed them. To be fair, I doubt they imagined it would take a year to get to that point, but it will. So, being the polite, and fair lady I am, I just asked if that date would still be fine to use it. Took about 20 minutes to get an email back confirming it would, so…Kudos to Pelham Lodge Guest House, Blackpool! No, Film Festival is later next year, but there is still the matter of the tram journey I never completed…
OK, end piece, got the call this morning, going to Leeds on Thursday afternoon to get measured for my plastic mask that will be used to direct the treatment to the needed area. Will also have CT, and blood test done on same trip, to give them the base settings they need pre treatment. As a few friends would know, I’d prefer a full face Iron Mask, rather than a positioned plastic one, but hey, its a start! Maybe the latter can follow post treatment, lol?
Right, to video now. One of my favourite groups of all time, one of their very early hits, live
OK, lets amuse a few at least, and confuse the rest of my readers, lol.
One of the things I was told to avoid this weekend was stress, especially politics, both sides of the pond, so clearly Saturday morning I was going to avoid the News channels. But yes, the Rugby World Cup is going on at the moment, and my Irish ancestry means I support the Ireland team when it comes to matters like this. And they’re supposedly one of the best at the sport currently, so even a game against the home nation, Japan shouldnt be an issue, or stressful, right?
Even less so when they quickly take a 12-3 lead, right? Thing is, someone, in their stupidly decided they could take the rest of the game as a stroll, oh dear. Thing is, Japan didnt get that message, got their way back into the game, and won 19-12 in the end! Dont get me wrong, I have no sympathy for Ireland, and in the end was glad Japan hung on for the win, they deserved it. As it proved, dont assume anything in life, just saying…
It may not prove fatal, as 2 teams get out of group, but a little bit too much ego, and then…
OK, video time. I know, yes, its back, lol. PS, singer is actually Scottish, but regardless
Well I would guess its go surprise to people here if I do a Transgender posting here, even if strictly I’m intersex, but I will still always relate to mtf transgender issues, even when I do finally get the operation out of the way, and yes, I hope the brain issues wont stop that at least. But making a post where I disagree with the transgender crowd, well…
Its fair to say at my age, even ignoring the new health issues, that I’m never going to play sport again at my age. The only sport I really played at anything more than basic level more than a couple of years after leaving school was cricket, and though I was a decent player (I played both at school, and club levels), I was never going to be a world beater. I did play a little recreational golf after I left school, but that soon stopped after a couple of years, due to lack of time, and not being a Nick Faldo/Laura Davies at the game, it was never going to go further. I think at one point I was a 13 handicap, which isnt amazing, but not awful either. I did try again, about 25-30 years later, but lets say I was more like a 113 handicap by then.
But then, since I started to transition, apart from the issue of getting old, I decided it was the end of my sporting career anyway. I know, strictly, I could play as a woman, especially after transition was confirmed, but even if I’d been in a position to play sport as a woman, I dont think I would. I know, you look at me, and apart from perhaps the height issue (I’m 5ft 9 tall/ 1.74 m?) I’ve got the build of a woman, but anyway…
I know some have, and more will, but its just how I feel about things, OK?
But it seems that some are so determined to make it at sport, that they have less morals about matters than me. It seems one team in the Kent Women’s Cricket League are so determine to succeed that rules, well… Now let me say I’ve only read one article about this, and the club, and the player involved dont want to say anything on the subject, but… One ladies team seeming include a ‘woman’ who is strongly built, 6ft 1 in height in their team.
Fine, but this is seemingly a woman who hasnt declared to be transitioning, isnt taking female hormones, and according to reports only declares as a woman on cricket match days, which seems very convenient. Of course she’s scoring lots of runs, taking lots of wickets, and all that stuff. So suddenly a moderate team has become a league winning capable team, isnt that handy?
Now, I wouldnt want to say she isnt genuine in the transition, but if so, why isnt she living as a woman for 7 days of the week? Yes, I do cynically wonder if this will be a 1 year wonder, or not? Handily for them, in England, unless you get into National Squad contention, you dont get sex tests done!
In the sense of glory, I dont care how desperate this team are to win, by doing things like this, but my concern is the simple one, if as I suspect it will, this is proved to be a fraud, where does it leave genuine transgender people in the future, both in terms of general life, and things that are gender related, from public conveniences upward? But yes, life is hard enough for us, without people working the system for the sake of glory, because lets face it, as has happened with this, its eventually going to get out, and probably in a negative way.
OK, rant over. Mind, I’ve acted as a woman, even before I started transitioning (long before in fact), but that was just a part I was needed to play, that I didnt cheat anyone out of, so… The fun is, if it wasnt for the health issues, I might have been acting this autumn as a woman again, ah well…
Right, video time. One of my favourites of all time, in truth. Yes, I’d love to be the lady in grey, with the helmet in this, seriously
He might even wreck a building or two in New York City just for the hell of it too. No, somehow I doubt he will in truth, mainly because he was just a fictional film character, though he would have a good reason today, as you could say this was the day, 15 years ago that he lost a friend. Yes, this day in 2004, Fay Wray passed away. Mind, she was 97, so…
And yes, for most people, she’s going to be remembered for one part, as the distressed damsel in King Kong, Ann Darrow. Personally I prefer her (among other films) for her escapades in the Wax Museum, but anyway, she’s always going to be remembered for that movie. To be fair to her, she did say that whenever she visited New York City that she took a few minutes to remember a ‘friend’ who died there. Yes, King Kong.
To be fair to Fay, like Mary Pickford, not many realise that she isnt American. Yes, born north of the border in Canada, but Kong probably would have objected to the cold winters, lol. Not that New York is all that warm in winter, but he was fine with filming in Hollywood, I’m sure.
Its funny, because of my name, everyone assumes I’m a big Jean Harlow fan. No, I rolled with the name because I was told I looked like her, though to me, my looks are more in line with Mama Jean, than baby Jean, but anyway… But yes, if you ask me my 30’s girl crush, it probably was Fay. So… But yes, I’d rather be in the wax museum with her, than on top of a New York skyscraper, all the same.
OK, video time. I know the song title, but in truth, the gorilla in this gets as much air time as the lion, and he gets to run off with the lady at the end too! The version of the song is dreadful, but the video is just too much of a match, sorry!
Well, for those needing an update on the state of the mind, dont say I dont provide. If you’re not interested, just wait patiently for the next blog, and see what you get!
Well, first the good news from yesterday, I got the letter advising me of the new date for my MRI at least. I know some American’s will react to the date, September 7th. My 2 dearest friends looking to clear my health issues, one like me, thought the date, given its a free service (relatively) on the NHS thought the date respectable, which considering they have to fit it in to availability at shorter than normal periods of wait, I can live with it. The other dear friend is too used to the American System wasnt so impressed, but I’ll settle for that. I will have to get myself there, but given one friend, who used to pay my prescriptions for my back (now free since 60) still sends me some money, that will pay for the taxis at least, which will be the easiest way to travel there and back, as others will be away at that time. I’d still rather get the EEG second take done as well, but this is more critical in my eyes, anyway.
The complex side of the health thing yesterday was my pills for my ‘epilepsy’ (assumed to be) was that I sent in a request for more pills yesterday, which got rejected. What happened is the pharmacy should have sent me 2 boxes last time around (new dosage), but only sent one, so I’ve ran out quicker than normal. So the system rejected request, as it dont read notes, but thankfully doctors do, so I have now got more coming, anyway. I have enough until Friday, so I will survive…
Mind, I have to plan on getting to town this week to the Job Centre, to pass over my latest sickness note, so they can arrange medical, to clear me as medically unable to work in future. For all the things I hear about Universal Credit, my contact there is a wonderful woman, just wants to get it all sorted so I can put all this fuss behind me. Thanks, Becky! But yes, I, or a contact has to get the form to her via town so that this process is being done. Oh, and thanks, Madi, for prompt sending to me.
But yes, I’ll be happy when thats in progress, the pills actually arrive (60 days worth), and the MRI actually happens (even if I will enjoy it), and I can get on with the rest of my life. Oh fine, that blows a visit to Rotwang while the others are away, but other than that, lol…
Right, video time. What my life seems to revolve around at present
Given it was Leeds Pride today, I guess its an apt moment for a LGBT related blog. No, at my age, even without all my recent more major health issues I probably wouldnt have been there, and lets face it currently, I’d need someone to push me in a wheelchair through the parade, but anyway…
It was actually the start of the pre season play in the NFL this week, with the presentation of the new members of the Hall Of Fame yesterday. One of said new members is Champ Bailey, and the end of his speech contained many comments about race issues and how players like himself are treated in the game. You can see it here,
The irony for me was seeing it posted by the NFL people on Twitter, when lets face it, most of his race issues are made more serious by the owners of the NFL teams in the first place. Thing is, if you listened to his words only, you would think there were no other equality issues in the NFL, oh I wish! So, the reason only one played has ever came out as Gay in the NFL is because he’s the only one ever, right? And guess what, once he announced it, he was snubbed by the whole league. Now its possibly he didnt lived up to his college career, but he went from being an early draft player, to being picked in the last round, then dropped altogether quickly, yes, right…
Fine, its a bit of a macho sport, so unlike to be hundreds, but just one, who didnt live up to expectations, seriously? I suspect its more a case that most just keep quite about the matter, in truth. So anyway, being the quiet, shy (not) intersex woman that I am, I’ve sent him a message asking whether he’d be prepared to support GB (not going to be any LT, I’m sure) players who want to come out. Given it was a few hours ago, I’m not surprised to have no reply yet, but not really expecting to hear from him, all the same, but maybe…?
And yes, lets face it, its not just for the players that we need someone involved in NFL to take a stand, its for the fans visiting the games too, to make them feel welcome too. To be fair, all the big male sports in the US dont have a great record on all equality matters in a G sense, but this got the response as the current one.
I could say I’ve had no issues at MLB games in the crowd, but not sure most have realised that there was a Trans/Intersex woman in the crowd (and toilets) with them, anyway. Oh, and fine, LA is LA, but…
Yes, wouldnt it be nice if a Baseball player was comfortably enough to come out as Gay (there has to be some, somewhere in the systems, surely?) without fear of reprisal?
Oh yes, if I do ever hear from Champ Bailey, I will let you know, but dont hold your breath!
Right, video time. What we all need to do, white/black, straight/gay, or whatever, I only wish
OK, its a play on words, given what this blog is about, and oh fine, the video too.
I mentioned in the previous blog about the Test Match starting next Wednesday between England, and Ireland at Lords, the first between them. Its too much to hope for a repeat of what happened to the 1966 World Cup winning soccer team, giving they played Scotland, as world champions, and lost. But goodness, wouldnt that be funny.
But before then, there is actually a major sporting event happening in Ireland, The Open, for the first time since 1951 is being held in Northern Ireland, at Portrush. Not that I will be around that far into the future but I hope it doesnt take 68 years to return again.
I was politely asked if I could request an Irish Passport, to get round this whole Brexit thing, but sadly I’m one generation too far away for that. I remember visiting ancestors on my father’s side in Tralee, Kerry when I was a child, though given he left my mother when I was 9, and never saw them again, I have no idea where anyone on that connection of my ancestry is now. Lets face it, its over 50 years since I had any contact, so…
The thing I never remember doing is visiting anyone on my mothers Irish side of the family, ever. Now whether thats because by then there was no one left in Offaly on that side of the family, or if someone, somewhere along the line was disowned, I have no idea. But yes, being of Nicholls extract, from Banagher, living in Haworth has amused me for all of my life. Confused? Look up Charlotte Bronte’s husband, and… clearly I have no idea how strong, or loose the link is, given I’ve never had any connect to that side of the family, but I think its fair to assume there must have been some?
But now, getting back to the golf…I was watching early, and it was mentioned that Shane Lowry’s family would be heading up from Offaly, as he is currently (at time of writing) joint leader in the Open. No, he’s not from Banagher, he’s from Clara, about 20 miles away, but many decades ago, there was a railway line between the 2. Clara is still served by Irish railways, Banagher isnt! In truth, I guess the place I havent visited that I really should have done is Banagher, but not sure I ever will now. Hey, I dont even know if my ancestors were still living there, when they emigrated! I know, Clara’s birthplace county in Oklahoma ranks close second, but…
So yes, I might not have Lowry in any of my fantasy golf teams this week, but wouldnt stop me being so proud if someone from Offaly made it big!
OK, the video is corny, but I had to include something green, lets face it. And besides, flapper wise, was that a speakeasy hidden behind that green door?
Alright, given that I’m assuming most care as to how the scan went on Friday, I’d better cover that tonight? Great shame, as its the 72nd anniversary of the alien spacecraft ‘landing’ at Roswell, but maybe I can do that next time, though probably be the other blog. So anyway, lets do the serious version of events here, and maybe do a more ‘far fetched’ version on the other one?
I must admit it, no surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed having numerous electrodes pasted on to my head, and wired up to the scanning machine. Probably for all the wrong reasons, but regardless of that… I didnt get to see myself until afterwards, but it looked wonderful, something akin to those old 1930’s style perm/curling machine, so yes, I definitely had the ‘wired up to be brainwashed’ look, even if the electrodes were really only scanning, not brainwashing, but anyway…
The first bit was standard enough, the looking in all directions stuff, followed by about 10 minutes just laying there with my eyes closely, imagining it was doing all sorts of evil things to my mind, but you cant have everything, sadly.
After that, first I did some deep breathing exercises, presumably to try and trigger something interesting in my brain? After recovering from that, I was then subjected to a stream of lights flashing on, and off for periods, both with eyes open, and shut, and the latter caused the sort of pattern you see on those hypnotic trance things. Sadly, even that didnt actually erase my mind, shame!
I gather there was nothing exciting in the results, which might have been down to having a good day, or a sign that I’m on about the right level of meds now, or possibly both. Results will go to the neurologist to decide what happens next. Well, in one sense at least. The sense of whether they want to repeat the test after a period of some sleep deprivation, as that would possibly annoy my brain more, and produce better results, before the MRI scan. Alternately, the MRI scan is now set for 3 weeks today, so we could go straight to that. The amusing thing there will be getting the earrings out of my ears, after, err, a large number of years, without removal. No idea on that one, but they will have to go by one means or another, for sure. Then I have to decide whether to get a pair of studs put back in, or not. I suspect the decision will depend on whether I might need follow up MRI’s, or not?
The other choice I’m facing soon relates to the transition issue. I can simply get the bits bobbed, get the right genitals aligned to the womb, and leave it at that, or I can do the whole thing, hormones, the full work. The main thing being that if I want to flash genuine cleavage, I’ll need to do the latter, but there is a lot involved. If all I wanted is my main psychological issue solved, the bits down below, it could be done a lot easier, and I could then wear clingy dresses, and swimsuits, with no issue anyway.
Twist my arm, real cleavage would be nice, but at my age, in truth, clearly up the main issue might be the easier option.
So now, await the revised brainwashing (EEG), or the MRI robotisation, which will it be? Got one fun job tomorrow regardless, ring for the result of the blood test, unless that too vanished back to the 1930’s, or some alien planet!
OK, video time, and the reason for the blog title. The electrodes sadly come off too easily, the paste used to fix them to my scalp, less so. But my hair is now washed, conditioned, and electricity free. So, a little Kylie. There is a very robot version of this video, but as always, when you want to find something, nowhere to be seen!
For any ‘snowflakes’ or similarly delicate people reading this, you might want to move on quickly, internal bits issues. All others duly warned, tale of the day.
So yes, I finally was here, the big day when I was going to get a clue about my fate in life. The ‘entertainment’ started early, as I was trying to convince my body to provide the required urine sample. My mixed up plumbing decided it didnt want to play ball, and in trying to push it out, I set off my occasional bowels issue ((blockage), and I just locked up completely for about 50 painful minutes, with nothing coming out either end, though both ends needed to, and I could feel it. Eventually I won on one front, then the sample bottle got filled rapidly an hour or so later, so…
One first today, the use of a blue disabled badge for me, in a parking space. Fine, it was Eric’s, but in truth, but for him having one, I’d probably need one now. Got weighed, 83 kg/ 183 lbs which is a bit higher than it was, but lets face it, I can hardly do much exercise in last 3 months, I’ve hardly got any mobility, but anyway… This does strictly make me slightly overweight by a few pounds, but nothing dramatic (just checked).
Then on to the doctor, and a discussion of things. Thankfully Ella was with me, as I literally remember nothing about any of my seizures, and she at least saw the last one, so was able to give details. The doctor then wanted to test my balance, by walking one foot literally in front of the other, but my balance is wrecked by my damaged knees, so it didnt get far!
The end results. my medication level has been doubled (or will be after transition week), but I was on lowest level up to now, so hopefully not a big thing. I’m also being booked in for an EEG test (to see if they can locate the issue), and then an MRI test (to see if I’ve got a brain. No, seriously, to see if its any more than epilepsy), which should happen over the next 4 weeks or so. Seems it might be related to a fall out of a loft 32 years ago, though not definitely, but it could kick in now, wow! No decision on freedom to fly until after MRI, which makes sense, but will be fine if just epilepsy, which lets hope it is, as crazy as that sounds!
I asked about work, he didnt seem as hot on the ‘never work again’ thing as some, but equally, he was talking about a year or so of recovery, and I am 61, and would then be 62, and would retire at 66, so… Besides which, my voice breaks down under stress, so could hardly do my current job, so I think it almost certainly is it, but again, lets see what the brain scan says. Famous last words… But seriously, given it all, and my lack of mobility, I think retirement on medical grounds is a certainty. In theory, I could do a non phone job, but it takes me a lot longer to do anything, so…nope!
I stated I was Intersex, but didnt ask questions about compatibility between the epilepsy pills, and female hormones. I’ll leave that for my own doctor, lol. But yes, if retired, and allowed, it is a pledge I made, lol.
That, pretty much was it. Collect my new prescription, collected some cash to get my hair done (coloured and cut) on way home. Yes, would love it done this way, but I suspect I will have to settle for modern methods
So no, seemingly I dont get the full robot bodysuit just yet, lol. But yes, I’m looking forward to the EEG, and MRI ‘messing around’ with my mind, all the same. 😉 Yeah, I wish! Mind, if anyone wants to provide me with one, fully interfacing or otherwise…?
Right, video time. What someone might be doing, when it comes to my brain, shortly?