Category Archives: Mike Pence

So you fancy being gay? Will bisexual do?

If by any vague chance there are any right wing homophobes reading this, because of the Pence tag, just move on swiftly, because really this isnt for you. Yes, seriously, you wont like it. And just remember, if you like this because of that mention, and you’re a Trump fan, well I might not be the only one laughing.

Fine, warning over.

Yes, in the week of the Presidential Inauguration, and all the talk about whether Trump should be President, or how long he will last as president, lets look at an even more concerning fact for those of LGBT tastes. Yes, you’ve guessed it, Vice President Mike Pence. Because however much you think Trump is only in it for himself (and maybe Putin?), and that will either just chuck it in, or be impeached, be concerned. Because in all truth, the guy who would take over as President is even more crazy than him! The main reason of concern for us LGBT folk with Pence, his beloved belief in Gay Conversion Therapy.

And no, not as my title suggests, this doesnt mean making everyone gay, or even bisexual (which come on, might be fun? 😉 ), but just the opposite. Sorry, dear Mike, but being gay isnt an illness, its a way of life for a lot of people, but you dont want to hear that, do you?

Clearly Pence is in the pay of the electricity companies, because his main method of conversion seems to involve applying large amounts of electricity to various parts of the gay person’s anatomy, principally genitals, and brain. Yes, lovely! Well, fine, ECT research for my latest book might have been handy, but I dont think it would change me sexually all the same. Fine, strictly I’m asexual, but I always tend to say Bi on those boring forms that dont give that option. Thats right, I’m equally not interested in sex with either gender lol! But yes, I’m one of those in the camp that all ECT should be voluntary, and not forced on anyone just because of their sexual inclinations.

The main thing that fascinates me, and makes me wonder about Mr Pence so much, is the fact that all this GCT seems to only be focused on gay men, not lesbian women. Now is this because he secretly finds lesbians a turn on, as seemingly many men do (a recent popular porn search on the ‘bible belt’ states of the US was throwing up lesbian in the top 3 searches), or is this just a denial that wait for it…he’s gay? No, probably not, but those that shout the loudest are often trying to hide something, so…? 😉 Oh, did I mention, a high up GOP male has just been found to be sexting (ghastly term), boys under the age of consent, hmm?

No, dont worry hetro folk, I havent yet come up with a therapy to make everyone bisexual, nor am I working on one, but…?

But just in case by some miracle he reads this, or someone passes it on to him, let me just say, Mike Pence.

I will be in LA for 11 days in May, and in New England for 8 days in September. If you want to try and convert me away from that evil bisexuality of mine, with a dose of ECT, give me a call. You’re paying, and I’d prefer half voltage (I am bi, remember), but yes, if you want to pay for my belated book research, out of your very wealthy pockets, lets go for it!

So yes, America, feel free to impeach Trump, or send him home to Russia, or whatever, but please, send Pence with him! Before anyone says anything, no I am most definitely not a Clinton fan, wouldnt trust the woman as far as I could throw a plane, but compared to Trump…

Right, video time. What will happen when I build my bisexual converter system (I am joking!) for all you hetro folk

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