Category Archives: Fantasies

Strange fantasies

I have mentioned here before that I write, for the sake of politeness, lets call it science fiction. I’m no one famous, as I have equally mentioned, its on the internet only, but lets just say that some of it might be termed adult, and some of it might be termed a bit weird!

The inspiration for all this, well I blame the like of Dr Who, Star Trek, Lost In Space and the like as a child. In teen years, I’m inclined to blame Metropolis and Carry On Spying! So yes, I have a strange, but interesting fascination with robots, brainwashing, and the use of one to transform a human into a robot.

As I say, beyond TV and films, I have no idea where this all came from. After all, its not the sort of stuff that the everyday person fancies happening to them, but I got intrigued by, and hooked on the ideas threrein. And even more strangely, its never really gone away.

I guess its because its a fantasy thats never really likely to actually happen that it appeals to me, I suspect if I was actually about to be brainwashed, and turned into an obedient robot by someone, then I’d probably fight it as much as the next person. But part of me does say, would I really, or would I just lay back and enjoy the whole experience? Who really knows, and lets face it, as technology stands, the question is purely moot.

I suspect at least some of it relates back to my transgender issues, and the fact that being transformed into a mindless, obedient robot would take away all those concerns I’ve had over the years about my physical (as opposed to mental) body that I’ve had. I hated my body for what it was, so changing it for a robot one, ideally female, would be a very good deal for me in that sense. I certainly used to be what is termed submissive, but its fair to say that events, plus hypnosis has cleared all that out of my system. But the robot transformation/brainwashing thing still remains, interesting, isnt it?

Let me add, that at this point, I’ve never been hypnotised to be like a robot, so have no idea just how blank a mental state that is, I’ve only been hypnotised for beneficial reasons. One day I’d love to do a scene where I really felt like I was about to be transformed in this way, it might be the only way i ever get this fantasy out of my head! Or would that just ingrain it deeper?

No video, just a fun outfit to tantalise you,

And this might just be me

Anyone out there want to fulfil a middle aged woman’s fantasy lol?



My alter-ego

Well I’m assuming by now that everyone who is reading this knows something about the middle aged transexual me, and I’m quite happy about that. Much though I might prefer the correct physical body, I’m proud of who I am, and getting by, for now at least with what I am too. Though alright, if someone could download my mind into a human-form body of how Doris Day looked in the 50’s, I wouldnt say no lol! I know its an old fashioned style, but thats me for you!

What most here dont know about is the other side of me, the science fiction writer. No, dont get excited, I’m no one famous, well other than in one small internet circle at least anyway! I’d love to write here about that side of me, but hey, this is linked to my Facebook account for publicity purposes, which gives away my name, so nope, thats not going to happen. I know of one reader here, quite possibly two, who do know said alter-ego, but as for the rest of you…

The irony is, she’s female! No transition, no extra bits that shouldnt be here, but full genuine female. I didnt plan it that way, it just happened. I’d posted a few stories, then discovered a forum linked to the genre I was writing for, and joined up. I was going to go gender neutral, mainly because the stories hinted at a Stephanie as the author, but of course, strictly, I wasnt! Trouble was, the moment I posted, all the posts said “Hey, Stephanie has arrived here.” etc, so I just gave in, and tagged as female. The mind is totally female anyway, so what the heck, so…fine until now, as mentioned, I’m travelling to Boston in September, and ‘friends’ from there are looking forward to meeting me!

The thing is, it would be fun to let some of my ‘darker’ fantasies out, and she’s the ideal one to do so, as most of them are written about in her stories anyway! But I accept here, that anyone here just for transgender issues, cricket matters and the like, wont really care about such things. So unless asked personally (can people trace my email address to write to me from here?) I’m not going to mention it here, but if you want to see the musings of my alter-ego, then ask me for the details. If you can work it out without that, you’re doing well lol!

Just to satisfy regular demands, and to prove I can include both cricket and transgender issues in a single blog…

Nope, not England, though I do wish them all the best in the 2nd test tomorrow all the same. The U19 World Cup Qualifiers started today in Ireland, and want to wish the young guys all the best. They made hard work of beating the US today, but got there in the end. Good luck for the rest of the tournament, qualifying shouldnt be a problem (6 go through out of 10), but we should be aiming to won it in all honesty.

Transgender issue is just a musing really. For work, and the outside world, I go ‘au naturel’ cleavage wise, which means I’m a not very full B cup. At home though, I’ve never weaned myself off wearing the enhancers, which nowadays give me a very full C cup! Agreed, the main reason for not wearing them out, is the ‘safety’ issue, which is sad, but seemingly part of transition life with some people. But in an ideal world, I should be able to flaunt a full cleavage, shouldnt I? Alright, some times during the winter, when I’ve got a big coat on, I might, but otherwise…just with a light top on, I dont see it worth the hassle? Ironic isnt it, women can power dress all they like, no one says a word. But if men dont fit the so called image…Yes, agreed, I pass for most, but it would be just my luck to be buxom, and meet the wrong idiot, then…

Dont go looking for the other account yet btw, even if you want to, I’m only going to set it up over the weekend!

Dressing up?

And no, I dont mean posh frock, and high heels either lol! Though some wanted me to do so for the company christmas dinner last year, I did resist, as I have already said, I’m not one to cause controversies, so settled for a woman’s trouser suit and flats, though definitely female shoes, and a clutch handbag, so not entirely as ambiguous a look as normal all the same. I want people to feel comfortable around me, so tend to be conservative on such matters, though some tell me I do that too well!

No, what I mean is a variation on fancy dress, though something a bit more intricate than the usual shop stuff. Hopefully there are some readers here who remember a childrens TV series called Mr Benn? Type it into Wikipedia if you dont, and you’ll get the idea.

Basically he would visit a special clothes shop, dress up in an amazing outfit, have an adventure, then find himself back in the shop, get dressed in his normal clothing, and then go back to his normal, dull, daily life again. Now wouldnt it be fun if there was some place you could do this for real? No, I dont mean the adventures, though some of those might be fun, all the same. I mean somewhere you could go, dress up for a short while, maybe get a few pics taken, then go back to your normal life.

So alright, you can see where this is heading, aiming for a few comments by asking what would you want to become if you could do this?

I’m sure after yesterday you can work out that one of my choices would be astronaut, not very girlish I know, but just so love the look of them, and the helmet of course. Mind, the stylised image of pics might be even more fun than the real thing! The other one is much more girlish, I’d love to wear a really good mermaid outfit, complete with a really suitable tail! I’m not yet as big up top as the traditional image of mermaids, and I’d definitely need a long wig, but…There is one more, but its a bit weird, so maybe better if I dont go down that road, not knowing who’s reading this! But if someone twists my arm, then maybe…

So come on, admit it, what outfit would you choose in such a store?

Daft fantasies, nice fantasies

In most senses I’m a dull middle aged housewife type, but I suspect, no different to most, I have a few wild fantasies that are probably better off in my head than RL, but might be fun to do…just once probably!

One of those things that has always intrigued me, but never tried on is latex clothing. I suppose its the look, and I’m told the sensations you get wearing it are amazing, but I cant believe a 53 year old could in any way look good wearing it? Certainly not likely to buy any now, so guess I will never know now, but alright, I’d love to know if its as good as the fantasy.

Alright, so thats the daft, but weird one out the way, now lets do the nice, but weird one.

I would love a makeover, and photo session, but these things tend to be pricey at studios, and call centre workers dont earn a fortune. Also, there is the fact that pre op, middle aged TS’s almost certainly arent their target market anyway! And besides, I’m meant to be all Domme like, and this fantasy isnt that! Its not so much I want to be kidnapped, and made over afterwards, though that might be fun. I guess its more akin to turning up ‘somewhere’ for an ordinary meeting, and suddenly being escorted away, hair done, made up to look good (that might need a miracle worker) and having a photo session done.

In other words, I get what I want done, but at the same time, I havent made a fool of myself getting it done in the first place.

Oh, alright, I have one very weird fantasy as well, but lets keep that one for sometime later.