No, just long enough to read the blog will be fine, really. Mind, on the day that was Marion Davies’s birthday (she would have been 122 today), if anyone really wants to be my William Randolph Hearst, then contact me. I wont expect to get crushed in the rush, mind, but more on that later.
Today, seemingly, as is the want with trending days for everything, is seemingly ‘Festival Of Sleep Day’. Actually, a rare event, one I approve of, totally! Mainly because at this time of year, when the weather gets freezing cold, my back starts to object to things, like moving, and other technical needs. And yes, sleeping in a warm (or warmer) bed is something that my back approves of, as opposed to moving around in freezing cold weather. So yes, at times like this, hibernation sounds like a heavenly concept to an old crock like me. Even more so at the moment, because all my treatments have been messed up by the Holiday season, meaning I’m now over 5 weeks since Physiotherapy (normally every 4 weeks), and have to try and survive to next Tuesday before the back can be worked on. I’m even over 2 weeks since any kind of treatment (flotation tank session), and the back is giving me all sorts of issues at the moment, even more so when temperatures are struggling to hit 40, let alone anything decent!
I know, humans cant do standard hibernation, like some animals can, even if little things like work didnt get in the way! So yes, oh for one of those stasis pod things, where I could be put to sleep until it warms up somewhat, around about May, shall we say? I guess it would be weird sleeping about 4-5 months (or a bit more) away, then just waking up again when the weather has improved sufficiently for old crocks like me? Fine, I’d love it, so if anyone has one laying around that they want to trial on people…? Could miss the chaos of Brexit that way too, another blessing for me! Mind, imagine catching up on events when you did wake up, lol!
I’m sure that in time, something akin to a stasis pod will be created. Lets face it, as things stand, its the only way anyone is going to do genuine deep space travel, is if humans can be put into storage for a number of years. Even Mars is going to be several months, or more, with little for people to do much of the time getting there, so…? As I say, if anyone wants to do early trials on one of those, with a human volunteer, I’m happy to sleep the winter away!
OK, the video is a ‘witty’ moment from me. Lets face it, who would want to spend the night together with an old asexual trans woman like me? I saw a couple of friends bemoaning the lack of partners (in their cases, females, in US), and they’re in a better position than me! They’re younger, interested in a healthy relationship, and not crocked by disability. So yeah, what chance have I got? But equally, if someone is crazy enough to want to set this ‘baby’ up with an apartment, somewhere warm all year round (or warmer), then I’m more than happy to oblige. Hell, I’ll even change my name to Marion Davies, if thats your thing? I’m an actress too, though not in her league.
Video is some very old Rolling Stones, from over 50 years ago. Just enjoy, OK?
Or if someone just wants to send me a nice warm bed/pod to sleep in, I’d love that too!
Right, for the handful of people who dont already know through Social Media, I’d better let you know (as a bonus blog) the news re my health issues, namely my wrist.
I shocked the doctor by appearing at his part of the surgery on Wednesday (I see the nurse re my pill check appointments) to get it checked over. No, thankfully, its not another bone fracture, just a totally worn out joint/tendons in my wrist. The official name for it is Tenosynovitis, but if you think of RSI, its not much different to that. Basically, after far too many years of thumping away on computer keyboards, my forearm is making an official complaint about that issue, lol. Seemingly not terminal, and a period of rest should improve it, which is what I’m doing for rest of the week. Doctors advice on Wednesday was not to do much typing before end of week, so I’ve learnt the delights of trying to type (to some degree) with my right hand! I’ve also now got the forearm in one of those compression sleeve things, hopefully that will improve circulation, and help with healing. Not that the expert I spoke to at our own Health Group People this morning seems all that impressed by them, but anyway… They’re going to arrange Physiotherapy for me for it, anyway. I think a new body might be easier, but anyway… 😉 Something like this, maybe?
Yes, some might recognise her, its the earliest picture I have of Clara Johnson, from 1929! Might need her dancing skills in March, anyway!
Oh, and last amusing moment, the doctor asked me when I was planning to retire, in that tone of voice that suggested that it was a case of the sooner, the better! So if anyone has a spare couple of hundred thousand pounds laying around, I can make him happy! I’ll go down that route, as I doubt any wealthy man (or woman) would want to marry an old Transgender crock like me! 😛 Half that, I could retire from work, full amount, well, I might know a nice place to live in Portugal, so… 😉
Right, video time. For once, totally unrelated to the blog. This is because yesterday saw the passing of one of the great geniuses of the Punk era, in Peter Shelley, best known as a member of the Buzzcocks, at the age of 63. Now, I know I’m getting old, lol. RIP, Pete! Probably their best known hit!
I must admit, when someone suggested using a flotation tank to me, for my damaged back, I couldnt see the logic of how it could bring me long term benefit. Let me just say, 5 days later, I’m convinced.
Even when I walked out on Tuesday, in no pain, I put it down to short term effect, and all that, and nothing more. I then proceeded to have an awful journey home, in cold, wet weather, and still no issues. More of the same on both Wednesday (including a lengthy period of standing still, waiting for a bus, normally a killer), and on Friday, and fine, the worst I’ve had, a bit of minor (and I do mean minor) pain!
I’m not saying I could run a marathon (or even a mile), but its fair to say I currently have more mobility than I’ve had in 15 months! No, I’m still not trying the stairs at work though, or on a bus, lol!
Yes, I’m still taking all my painkillers, and stuff, but I was previously hurting with them, so thats not a major issue. Funnily enough, I’m due at Physiotherapy on Tuesday, and I’m fascinated to see what she thinks of my ‘new’ back! I know I said I was going to do acupuncture anyway, but seriously, I’m thinking of revising that comment, as the flotation tank is cheaper, seeming to work, so why change something that is clearly working? Plus, I get the whole sensory deprivation thing doing this, even more so as I’m getting shown how to put the lid of the pod down next time! Maybe I can come out reborn as twenty something Clara Johnson, lol?
Well, I can answer my own question in truth, I’ve booked 2 more sessions already! I was a bit concerned how to work things, as my next Physio session would be on Christmas Day, so not going to happen. And yes, the following Tuesday is New Years Day, so… it could have been a long wait. But now, not an issue! 😀
Normally I would have booked the first session for next Tuesday (4th December) but I’m in Manchester that day, LGBT committee meeting. In truth, before this, I was a bit concerned about that week, as it would have been 5 days of travel that week, but now…not! So I’ve booked for the 6th, my 1 day of rest, to use as a recovery session. The other booked is on 18th, to hopefully get me through the whole long festive period! Now all I need is someone to create a brainwashing tape, to play into the pod while I’m in there, lol… 😉 OK, thats hoping for a bit too much?
But yes, beyond the lack of pressure on my back while floating, I havent a clue why it works. So yes, you could say its a mystery! Which leads us to the video. Its not often you find someone from the punk era singing live in a studio (music too), but Toyah does here! And yes, its good enough, and different enough to be the pick for tonight!
Oh fine, the title is a pure fix to tie into the video, let me say…looks angelic…
As regular readers will know, nowadays, I’ve got some major back issues, better known as a wedge fracture, care of osteoporosis. So yes, my dancing days are in theory over, though a certain ‘flapper’ might try and prove otherwise at the end of this month, though I wouldnt put good money on that, lol.
Saturday just happened to be one of those days when everything that could go wrong for my back, happened, so much so that by Saturday evening, getting home was enough of a challenge, let alone anything more. As for walking, yesterday morning, beyond a few steps, no chance. So, another day of sickness, but I couldnt have walked 50 yards to the bus stop here, let alone the 3/4 of a mile or so at the other end, to get to work, and then back.
Fortunately, today was an already booked physiotherapy session, so I decided to see what the experts said before doing anything too drastic about my body, though as always, if anyone wants to offer me a new, cybernetically enhanced body, try and stop me downloading into it!
Long, and short of it, I’ll live, and I will still be able to walk. There are some small issues further up the spine, which she puts down to my spine, and my body trying to compensate for the damaged section, and therefore hurting everything else. Nothing major at this point, but advised to be careful, and keep an eye on it too. I must admit, I pretty well wear the brace most of the time now, other than sleeping, advised that really ought to be a must now, so given I tend to do as I’m told… If someone fancies designing some sort of support I can wear while asleep, not too restrictive ideally, but supporting the back…? I know, it would get warm, but winter is coming, so…
OK, the amusing bit. Second part of the treatment is some device with a pair of electrode things placed on the back, in the area of the spine, to try and ease the inflammation. I’m told many people dont enjoy the treatment being done at more than 11 milliamps (mA), me today, I got up to 55mA, and was loving it! She tells me that one client has gone up to 100mA, but thats as high as she’s ever gone. Given not much more than that can be lethal, mmm. 😉
Hopefully at some point, I do get to find if I do have an electro treatment limit that is non lethal, lol! I can definitely go up from 55mA, but by how much, no idea! I might have a bit more idea in 4 weeks time, I suspect! 😉
So yes, how much longer the back will be up to much, I have no idea, but I’ll just take all the precautions I can, and see when I have to call it a day. Even more convinced now that I’m not going to make it working until retirement date at 66, for sure. Ah well…
So yes, I think my Charleston dancing days are probably over, darlings, let alone that new fangled rock and roll thing!
Right, video time. If you want the full, complex story about Rockpile, go look it up on Wikipedia. But basically, there were 2 singers in the group, both contracted to different record labels, so though technically they were a group (and played live together), in terms of music contracts, it was 2 solo artists. This song is one of the rarities, a song recorded by both Dave Edmunds, and Nick Lowe! This is the Lowe version, though Edmunds is most definitely in the video!
And just so I cant be accused of bias, the original Dave Edmunds version of same song
I have to say that the only thing that I feel is a shame, is that it took me so long to discover what had been ‘wrong’ with me for just over 40 years! Of course, there is the other way of looking at it, in that sex reassignment surgery back then was so much more basic back then, than now, that whether I would have had it done, even if I could, no idea. I do know that if I knew what I know now, and was in my twenties, and in good physical health, something would be dealt with. Instead, I’m 60, with a few health issues, and a hatred of pain, so no, unless good cause comes up, it probably wont happen. But, never say never…?
Yes, being the ‘shy wallflower’ that I am, if people ask pertinent, and polite questions about the whole Transgender thing, I’m always happy to talk. After all, education is always a good thing. So, if while my Physiotherapist is zapping the pain out of my back, and asks relevant questions, I’m happy to answer them. Of course her main interest is more in the last 20 years, than the first 40, but anyway…
She actually told me today that I probably ought to write my biography, but in truth, its only the current last third that would be of any real interest to anyone. Alright, fine, now in hindsight, I can look back on the female parts I played acting before then, and see an amusing significance, but in all honesty, they were just a role at the time. Being honest, I think its only really been the last 10 years or so, when its really been full time female that would interest most. I have to say that there is someone whose biography would make a far more entertaining read that I know, that I’d love to write, but whether she will let me, will have to wait and see!
Alternatively, if someone wants to provide me with enough money to do a voyage of discovery to Oklahoma, Texas, and California, and try and discover the full Clara Johnson story, that would be fun. But yes, writing about someone alive, who has numerous friends also alive, as opposed to someone who no one who knew her in her ‘fame’ would be alive, much easier task! But yes, would be very entertaining, I’m sure, to look back on her life!
Given the blog title, you’ve probably worked out the song, so if I ask if my life has been a sin, it shouldnt be much more of a giveaway? Oh, for sure, my life has had a few sinful moments, any actress that says otherwise is probably lying as much as Trump does! And yes, of course, if trying to live as a man was a sin, count me in. Of course there are some who would say that now, living as a woman was a sin, but anyway…
Hopefully, I can look back on my life, in a few years time, or whenever, and even if I have a sense of shame for the first 40, I can be proud of the rest!
OK, the obvious video. Live version, as I cant believe I havent used the original at some point on here. Of course, if its a while back, would have been fine, but anyway…
I’ll admit it, I did wonder if I was pushing my luck earlier this week, when doing 3 days of travelling in a row, 2 of them for work, 1 for a meeting, but I gave it a try. Outcome was, I did push my luck too far, lol. By the end of Wednesday, I was having issues, and even with rest (barring a trip to collect meds) on Thursday, things didnt improve totally. I then had the ‘delight’ of a pretty bumpy journey to work on Friday morning, and that finished me off, seemingly. So yes, gave up on work, middle of Friday afternoon, and didnt even try yesterday! Thankfully I was far enough up on flexi time that I’m still just about in front on hours, despite that! It is now, finally beginning to ease off a bit, so hopefully with another night of rest tonight, and hopefully a bearable journey to work tomorrow, all should be fine. Well…?
In truth, after the excellent service I had at the physiotherapists with the knees, over the winter, I’d said I’d go back when I could afford to do so. Yes, easier said than done when you’re only working a 4 day week, because of your back issues. Still, if I was a good girl (and I was), there was a bonus due in July, which would enable me to get the work done. Only, its not arriving until end of August! But yes, last week settled it for me, regardless of that, I need to get something done, and soon. So yes, appointment booked for Tuesday morning!
In truth, I have no idea how much can be done for it, but will have to wait and see. All I know is that this is the same place which worked on my knees, and apart from one minor bout of cramp, I’ve had no issues since then, and yes, I still do exercises from time to time too…angelic look… But lets be fair, this is more than a damaged muscle, and circulation issues, as was the knee, this is talking a fracture of some kind! Not sure if you can put electricity through the spine, as you can a knee, but I’m sure I’ll find out if it can be done! 😉 She did threaten me with it, but thats a lot closer to the heart, so not sure if it was fact, or tease? But on Tuesday…?
My plan for now, is initial appointment, and assuming she can do something with it, 4 follow ups, which will take me up to my holiday in September. After that, will have to wait and see, I guess? Not sure I can afford more than that, anyway, in truth.
So, unless someone has a cybernetic spine, or full body unit they want to trial (oh, I wish), I’ll see how that goes. Mind, I might get a shock (in more senses than one) on Tuesday, who knows? 😉
I was trying to think of an original video for this subject, and pretty much failed, the only obvious ones used, one as recently as January! So, yes, this explains the corny blog title, lol!
Its funny, isnt it, but misfortune can be a wonderful thing.
I must admit, when my right knee gave way under me about 6 weeks ago, I feared the worst. Well, I see it as the worst at least, because I’m not a fan of surgery if I can help it nowadays, in the slightest! Too much when I was growing up I think, just put me off the idea nowadays. I’ll openly admit it, its probably one of the reasons I havent rushed to have the sex reassignment surgery done, is the thought of all that pain, and stuff afterwards. But yes, having been warned many years ago that I was a certainty to need knee replacement surgery, probably sooner than later, I sort of thought it was probably inevitable after that. Well, it probably still is at some point in the future, but not for now.
One of the blessings of where I work (those that need to know, already know, those that dont, well lets just say its a wonderful place) is that we have something called an Occupational Health Scheme. After the problem occurred, I discussed it with them, and said, as I thought at the time, that realistically there was only going to be one outcome to this, surgery. Not unreasonably, they thought I was probably right. However, between us, in our wisdom, and given that the NHS would probably have asked me if I’d done so first, we decided to take a chance on a course of physiotherapy before doing that.
Net result, 6 weeks later, my right knee is probably in the best condition its been in for decades, let alone weeks, or years. Simple exercises that even an ‘old crock’ like me could do with ease, some ultrasound on the joint, and fine, something I loved, that most probably wouldnt, some electrotherapy! I think I amused the therapist by enjoying voltages that most people would suffer having done to them, but anyway…Fine, must be that inner robot in me, lol! 😛
And yes, there has been running jokes about plugging me into the mains and the like, snag for them is, I just say “Yes please, how soon?” when they do! Yes, we have talked about things like the stories I write and stuff, so she does know!
Lets just say I thought it might help a bit, but wasnt expecting this much improvement. Another blessing is, the electricity has at least awakened the circulation in my legs, so my feet are getting more blood flowing to them (We did one electro session on left knee, rather than right, to improve both legs), and look a lot more pink, and are a lot less sore than before.
I asked, and was told that something could be done for my back too, and fine, I’m tempted. Even though its a private clinic, and I really cant afford to pay it myself currently (would need about £200, I guess, for same number of sessions?), I’m thinking about it. And no, not just because I’ll feel even more like a robot if I have electricity zapping up and down my spine (not sure if they could, electricity near heart?), but if it was going to make that dramatic an improvement, well…? Sadly, unless I have a relapse (which I pray I dont!) with my back, I dont think I can pull that one now with Occupational Health lol, so I wouldnt have to pay.
No, I’m not going to name the clinic here. Lets face it, if you’re close enough to Huddersfield that you want to know, ask! If not, you’re not going there anyway, lol! But yes, lets just say they’ve made my knee feel ‘brand new’, now if I save a few pounds, if they can do the same to my back, then Betcha by golly wow! Yes, those of an age, and when you see the video will get that comment. If not, just look up their singles list!
Fine, video time. Big clue in the title, but given I was only 15 when this song came out, it might be too old for many to know it. Just enjoy, and lets say I could easily have girl crushed on the singer with the high pitched voice!
No, dont worry, it was nothing significant today when I woke up, and though we’ve had a few snow showers during the day, it still hasnt amounted to anything dramatic. Yes, I hope its the same when I get up in the morning, though if you believe the so called weather experts, I might be disappointed. They do say the worst day will be Thursday, when thankfully I dont have to leave home, but I wouldnt mind even that being something that doesnt come true.
To show how slight it was up here, the buses kept running, no issues. And lets face it, they are more than happy to stop running at the slightest excuse. Yes, I walked through snow on the way to Physio this morning, though such an insignificant amount that even a ‘frail old lady’ like me could cope with it, very easily. To be fair, I think its been worse down south, than up here, but believe me, I have no desire to go and investigate that.
Therefore I was surprised when I reached the Physio clinic this morning, to hear that I was the first to turn up for my appointment. Yes, there should (probably) have been 3 ahead of me, and the 1 behind me had cancelled too. Yes, there was snow on the ground, but no, it wasnt slippery out, and the roads were clear, as per the fact that the buses were all running around town.
Of course, to be fair to those people, as the clinic said, most, if not all of those people would have been older than me, and lets face it, you have to have some level of frailty to be going for Physio in the first place! Still…?
I have to admit, in advance of my last treatment next Tuesday, that I can honestly say my knees havent felt as good as they do now, in years. I’d love to say thats just down to the electricity that has got pulsed through my knee, but I’d be lying if I did. Not saying that that, and the ultrasound treatments havent played a big part, but so have the very simple exercises I have to do, as they have definitely strengthened the muscles in both knees that needed it. Oh, and the electrics have definitely made my circulation better, both my feet are pink (or almost pink) again, as blood has started to be forced to flow down to them. The old scars on the right knee are never going to go away fully, but they’re far less noticeable too, for the same circulatory reasons.
Now, if only she could zap my back (or my whole body?) like that…? 😀
But yes, seriously, I’ll be glad when the weather gets a lot warmer, especially for my back. Unless someone wants to buy me a home, somewhere with all year round heat…? No, thought not!
OK, video time. Its the wrong type of weather, technically, but its a gorgeous song, so lets roll with it tonight
One of the interesting happenings during the Physiotherapy on Tuesday, was that she used some Ultrasound thing on my right knee, and then gave it a nice electrotherapy experience, to try and improve the way it felt. Thing is, there’s been one interesting side effect of that. To be fair, one of the aims of this is to improve the circulation, but given the state of my knees, I wasnt holding out too much expectation on that. However…
Before Tuesday, it was fair to say that neither of my ankles was a pretty sight, mainly because not a lot of blood gets to flow down there, so the skin has got dry, flaky, and in truth, pretty sore and itchy. What I’ve done is use some moisturizer on my ankles, to try and keep them slightly better, but it works for a couple of days, and then its time to repeat! Generally I keep my ankles well hidden, for good reason.
Thing is, now, my left ankle looks just the same, pretty horrible, in truth. The right ankle, the leg that had all that treatment, well, the ankle looks normal! I can only assume this is because blood has been forced to flow through to my foot, and lo and behold, the transformation is amazing. I’m not saying men would swoon at the sight, but I’m happy to let them look at it! Whereas the left ankle, no chance!
Question is, assuming I cant convince her to let my left knee have a little session (and there is no reason she should), should I try and put the money together to get a session done on that leg too? No, I have no idea what this costs, and I have no idea how long this situation is going to last, but if it will…? Suspect I cant afford it, in truth, ah well, but I might have to try and find out how much it would be…?
Yes, before you ask, that, and the exercises I’ve been given to do (suitable for a lady of my age too), have definitely eased the pain in both knees, I must say. Now, if I can get some blood flowing through my left leg…? Oh fine, I’d love that electrical jolt through both legs, and a few other places too, in truth!
OK, video time. I cant believe I havent used this before, but checking back, havent done so, so lets use it now. Sums up delightfully the position with my right ankle over the last week. Now if only I can find a way to get the left leg done too…?
As I have discovered before, and will probably discover again at some point, trying to work around an issue doesnt work! So yes, trying to be clever on Tuesday, and taking the pressure off my damaged right knee, in the end, didnt work! To put it bluntly, Wednesday morning, when I got up, my left leg was a bit stiff, and walking wasnt easy. Anyway, I managed to get down the stairs, just about, and with difficulty, pick the cat bowls off the floor, fill them, and drop them back down. Didnt think much more of it at the time, until 2 hours later…I tried to get up, to get breakfast, and could barely move. Yes, left knee had seized up in sympathy, probably because I’d been overdoing it on a knee that is better than my right, but that isnt saying a lot! So long story short, I wasnt getting to work, as a normal 15 minute walk at other end would have been like a marathon!
Thankfully, use of a healing gel which I was given for my right knee, on my left knee has eased it up a bit, so unless I have a relapse in morning, will be back to work then! But lets face it, being practical, something needs to be done about it!
So, this morning, I had a discussion with the Physio people who deal with such matters for the Civil Service about it. In truth, I’d already worked out that I’d probably reached the point where I’m going to have to grin, and bear it, and get the knee joint replaced. Yes, surgery, which as regular readers will know, is something I’m not a fan of, as that sort of pain isnt my thing. But being honest, I think the right knee is probably not much use any more, as it is.
Anyway, I’ve managed to convince them that I really ought to try some physiotherapy first, though I think we both know its pretty much a last resort measure, but given I’m sure the doctors will want it done first, lets bite the bullet. So yes, next Tuesday, I head to a clinic in Huddersfield, for what I’m jokingly terming last chance saloon! Fingers crossed something can be done, to delay surgery further, but I have my doubts. Only consolation now is that given the lifetime of these things is about 20 years, I should get by with having it done once. Well, I’ll probably have to get the left one done as well, in time, but…
So yes, please note, if anyone out there is working on developing a cybernetic knee joint (or two) that they want a volunteer to try out, then let me know. Given the state of my back, a full replacement cybernetic body might be even better, but anyway…? 😉 But yes, I suspect my surgery avoidance days are nearly over! 😦 Wonder if I can get my bits ‘bobbed’ at the same time, lol? After all, if I’m going to be out of action for a while, might as well make a good job of it? 😉
OK, video time. I used this song about 2 years ago, and found a very ancient, poor quality Cat Stevens version of the song. Yes, he wrote it, everyone else just covered it! This version, 3 years old, in color, ooh!