Category Archives: Transgender issues

What do we need?

According to the video, its a great big melting pot (though not the group you’re expecting?), but there are times when I think even if humanity agreed on that issue, you’d still get some that would argue about the size, colour, and probably the gender of said pot! yes, its one of those days when I feel like screaming at some of the more extreme transgender activists, but then they’d probably say I dont count, that I’m Intersex! Seriously, to quote another song, you’d think the LGBT community would want to stick together, especially in these times, but that is far too easy for some.

Being honest, one of those trend things I always dread on Twitter, ironically, is Trans Ally. Why, because it generally means we are under attack from some right wing group, or it means that some poor ‘snowflake’ of a Transgender person has taken exception to the realities of life being pointed out to them. Today, thanks to the SNP (Scottish Nationalist Party), we got a bit of both. Part 1 was care of 3 MSP’s posting on Social Media, complaining about the fact that Trans people should be treated to equal rights in Scotland. Not really much to ask, in truth, but too much for some, clearly! Most other MSP’s quickly came down on them, though I doubt it will change their views.

Part 2 relates to the forthcoming Census in Scotland. It seems the form will only give options for male, and female, and not any non binary options. Now, I’m elderly, and understand the practicalities of these things, and besides that, despite being Transgender, in Transition, my passport, and all other paperwork says I’m female, so I’m sorry, whenever, and wherever I’m asked my gender, I’m female, matter solved. Thing is, the younger generations (especially the newest ones) arent obliging, and expect everything in the world to fulfil their desires. Sorry, the real world isnt like that, and I dread to think what some of them would have done if they grown up 20 years ago, for example, and all people like myself went through.

So yes, the inevitable combustion blew up, and all sorts of insults, and threats have been thrown by said activists, at those not letting them have their way. Rattles from prams have nothing on them, lol. And of course in these days, with a bit of stirring thrown in by the Christian right, who think anyone who isnt in a traditional man and woman relationship, or desired to be in one, clashes with a group of young activists who think otherwise should be the case, it all gets explosive.

Dont get me wrong, I’m proud to declare as Transgender, though far too many of these young activists drive me to despair. As I also mentioned, strictly I’m Intersex, I have that man bit (that doesnt work sexually), but I also have the less visible womb too, so technically I’m as much a woman, as a man, anyway. And yes, today, in despair, and to some degree jokingly, I asked what I need to do physically to declare as Intersex, not Transgender, because then I might feel slightly more inclined to let the Trans Activists just get on with it, and I’ll just be a nice Intersex women instead. I guess its just down to declaring myself as Intersex, and then spending 10 minutes explaining it to each person who asks for details as to what that means, but there are times when I think that might still be easier! Not that getting the ‘bits bobbed’ actually solves that issue, as I still lived the first part of my life as a man, and the later part as a woman, but its tempting, assuming I am medically retired by the seizures (seems likely), but I’m still allowed the hormones, and surgery (no idea?) after them? If anyone knows that last answer, please let me know!

Of course, in an ideal world, we’d have a great big melting pot, and everyone of various race, gender, and sexuality could just get on with their lives without any of these issues! But fine, thats far too easy.

Video, no, not Blue Mink. I found a live performance by Boyzone, so lets go with that, as I cant find anything but mimed ones by Blue Mink

 

n social media, from those who think anything but a relationship between anyone but man and woman is a mortal sin, and that all LGBT people should go to hell, clashing with a bunch of young Trans people who think they should get specialĀ 

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Another nail for my heart

Its been a funny sort of week, in truth, in more ways than one.

Earlier this week, the orange, bewigged Russian one threw enough of a temper tantrum that he got his way on one issue that has annoyed him. Seems the rule to stop Transgender people from serving in the American Military forces has been finally passed after numerous efforts. Even more amusing of course, in the week it was announced that one of the General’s who helped to fight for the independence of his country (assuming it isnt Russia?) was either a woman, or even more horrible for him, intersex.

The more amusing side of that is that at least 2 states (maybe more?) have already told him that they wont be getting rid of any transgender people already serving in their state military command groups, and will still accept applications from anyone desiring to do so. I’m sure if he hasnt already Tweeted (high security method, not) on the matter, he soon will be.

The other LGBT news I’ve heard today comes care of Australia, Sydney, to be exact

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/video/travel/sydney-unveils-permanent-rainbow-crosswalk-as-symbol-of-lgbtq-pride/vi-BBVTVmH?ocid=spartandhp

I must admit, there would have been a few cities that if you’d told me would be candidates to do it, Sydney would have been one of them. Thank you for the gesture. Not that I guess I would ever have seen it, even if my body hadnt totally given up on me, thats far too far away, but at least I know its there, which is something. Somehow I cant see the guy mentioned previously will be rushing to use that crossing somehow. I’d love to, but now especially, I think I might have to pass on that.

Why, you ask? Well, a couple of days ago, I had to post a letter to work, re my health issues, and I thought that as the post box was only about 200 yards away, and no one else was readily available to post it, I’d give it a go, and see how it went. Well, going down the hill was ‘interesting’ but I survived, just. Snag is, I then had to come back up the hill, and that was a whole different game! I did make it, but it hurt! I’ve also noticed that the stairs at home, when I’m carrying anything (especially full cups), are distinctly becoming a challenge, coming up. So yes, the old girl is definitely busted, for sure. I suspect unless something dramatic can be done to me, I wont be walking far in future. šŸ˜¦

Oh, and talking of busts… As some already know, and others will now know, I look like I’ve got a decent cleavage. No, its not some magical hormone, or the fact I have a friendly fairy godmother who provided me with a decent pair of boobs. Believe me, if the latter was the case, I’d have got her to remove something else at the same time! Many women are unfortunate enough to have mastectomies due to breast cancer, a charity whose cause I used to support when I had any money. For those women, prosthetics are provided that give the image that they still have breasts. I’m not the only Transgender women that uses them, I’m sure, but we arent strictly the main market for them. These silicon breasts are fantastic, give a great look, are designed to be about the right weight, and are great, providing you dont put too much weight on them. I dont, I have a foam pair I use at night (vanity, I know), which can take just about anything. Of course, when I was in hospital, the pair I was using were the silicon ones, and they didnt take kindly to being slept in, especially the one on the side I slept on. So yes, its a bit damaged, and I’ve had to buy a new pair which arrived this week. More expense, ah well… Mind, if anyone knows of a similar vagina I could wear 24/7, without toilet issues, please let me know. Hiding ‘that thing’ would be heaven, and far less painful than surgery!

Right, video time. Bit of a clue in the blog title, how original!

 

Intersex is seemingly not a modern issue

I was wondering why Trans Ally was trending on Twitter, on a day when I couldnt logically think of a reason why. So I took a look, and wished I hadnt bothered. Seems the horribly right wing Times managed to post 4 anti Transgender articles in their newspaper today, and the reaction seems to have exploded accordingly. The trend is an eclectic mix between supporters, and those who think we should all be strung up, executed, or both! A few of the more crazy kind have clearly been hunting on Social Media for Trans people, found me, but yes, I’ve removed the abuse promptly. But unfortunately, with the swing to the extreme right that the world seems to be experiencing at present, is it any wonder? Sadly I doubt the anti LGBT hate all too prevalent at present will be going away any time soon!

Actually, that wasnt even what I was planning to write about tonight, it was an article I read yesterday, which I got reminded about, only after the blog had been done for the day.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-47842307?fbclid=IwAR2AywKMW6mFzGgisLeUbB6j_LC_1rMCVOxY0A6WHxQM-DrxwY9MXs5IwTQ

As the article says, 250 years on from the event, its impossible to know if Pulaski was intersex, female, or actually a man with a weird skeleton. Clearly the latter would seem unlikely, though not impossible, as his body may have got some strange wounds in various battles he took part in. Its also possible that Pulaski was a woman, hid the fact skilfully and rose to the position of General through her skills. Unlikely, I would have thought a physician would have noticed something missing when treating the General after being wounded.

In truth, in the 1770’s, if there was no obvious outward signs that the General had any female traits, then nobody would really have noticed. Medical skills back then were pretty basic, so anything less than basic, probably not expected, or discovered. Its only because by good fortunes, the bones were kept, and recently exhumed to move the statue, that someone decided to do some tests, and… the pelvic area was more that of a woman, than a man.

The thing to point out is that if the General, as seems likely, was intersex, there is very little chance he knew, during his 34 brief years of life. Back then, its fair to say it would have made little difference if he had known! But yes, at a time when LGBTI+ folk tend to feel like Marmite (loved or hated, nothing in between), this is quite a discovery.

Video time. Lets see, a woman who fought like a man? Was she intersex too? We will never know, as all the evidence was burnt, lol! This is a rare song, OMD never actually made a video of this, though of course ‘Maid of Orleans’ was another song about her, for which a video was made. But lets have some Legs & Co, and yes, I love their outfits for this.

Together in Transgender Hopes

Firstly, for those of you who weren’t around 18 months ago, and I know there are some, let me remind you that I thought I was going to a wedding in Carmel (New York, not California, but…) as a guest, then as a bridesmaid. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I ended up as Maid of Honour! Not bad for an old Transgender Lady, and Stacie did find out how thrilled I was when offered that dream role. As some might also remember, my back was already gone by then, but I laid off the painkillers for 3 days (as instructed) before the big day, so I could drink, and thankfully the weather was hot enough to get away with that. For further details (if interested), go back to the blogs around September/ October 2017 for more information, and pictures.

Anyway, finally New York State caught up with a lot of places at the weekend, and passed some Transgender Equality Rights into law. Not that I’m likely to ever live there now (Florida, Arizona, or California is more my climate needs now), but I’m delighted for those that do. Thing is, probably as I might have said in truth, when Stacie was asked her opinion on this, she was obviously thrilled at the outcome, but commented that it would be another matter to see if it actually happens in reality. For giving this utterly honest answer, someone accused her of being trans-phobic. I know, I might have stopped laughing by the 2nd wedding anniversary in September, but anyway…

Thing is, in truth, having experienced the reality of life, I probably would have said much the same thing as she did, and I’m actually Transgender! In truth, any rules relating to LGBTI (sneaking intersex in) people being made, and actually being applied, are 2 different matters. So fine, I know the person who accused her is unlikely to read this, but whoever you were, you’re wrong, Stacie is not trans-phobic, just the opposite in fact. So think things through logically, before jumping to conclusions, pretty please.

Oh fine, I mentioned Carmel (California this time) before, and I’m going to mention it again, as a famous resident celebrated her 97th birthday there today, a certain Doris Day! Its fair to say that one is more winter suitable for me than the New York one, thats for sure.

Last connection for today. Over here at present, there is an advert on TV for Strongbow Cider. The amusement, the song is played on acoustic guitar, and old fashioned piano. Why is that funny? Well, the song is Together In Electric Dreams, and I’m pretty sure its all deliberate. Why, well, near the end, in the background, Phil Oakey, who of course sang the original version. I’m sure the ‘joke’ is lost on anyone under 50, but I can only hope…? So, yes, thats the song, but again its not Phil. I have no idea if Gary Simmons, and Kirsty Marr are still a couple, but fingers crossed, but this was done over 8 years ago. If either see this, maybe they can let the world know?

From the cradle to her grave

There might have been some, other than me, who noticed the ironic coincidence today. Though American’s wouldnt have done so, as they celebrate one at a different date to us, but like a few other things (yes, finally they are on the correct summer time period, lol), they dont agree with us on when Mothers Day should be celebrated, but yes, here, it was today.

Today was also (seemingly generally) Transgender Day of Visibility, perchance. Which meant for me at least, today was both Mother’s Day, and TDOV (abbreviation, please), which is ironic, because my mother pretty much disowned me the day I came out as Transgender. Given that a matter of a couple of months later, I found out that I was actually Intersex (I have a womb, and heaven knows what else?), I find it hard to believe that she hadnt known that at least since shortly after my birth, as history (thank you, internet) has shown records of others where doctors/parents decided what gender the baby was ‘desired’ to be, and ‘bits’ adjusted accordingly.

But anyway, by the time I found out this critical piece of news, me, and her had gone our separate ways. Soon after that initial event, she’d passed away, issued sorted for her at least.

In truth, by now, I dont really care, its done, history. But when, a few days ago, I realised the conjunction today, I did a smile to myself. But fine, I must admit, if I get the op done as planned (health permitting), and we meet ‘somewhere in the next life’, I might just show her that she actually had a daughter, lol.

Video time again. Squeeze again, only a far more recent track. So, yes, with luck, I left the cradle as a baby boy, but I’ll go to the grave as a feisty old lady! I know, strictly, I’m not Transgender, but it sums up life that its easier to describe myself as such, than trying to explain intersex!

That was unexpected

It seems that today, here in the UK, there was something happening other than another vote on Brexit. No, the result of that definitely wasnt unexpected, lol. As to the result of the blood tests I had earlier today, I cant comment on how expected they are, as I wont get them until next week. The one thing I hadnt quite expected, but had thought might be the case, was the fact I needed a taxi to get me to and from the surgery today (Ella was busy elsewhere) rather than being able to walk there, as I’ve done previously. Its a fair way (nearly a mile), but nothing I wouldnt have been able to do, with a bit of effort, pre seizures. Ah well, and another medical look that suggests going back to work is an unlikely option. Talking of which, got a lovely ‘get well’ card from work arrived this morning too.

Oh fine, getting to the point, the event today was a Transgender Health Conference, which was pretty much discussing just how young children should be able to begin to transition. Fine, so I knew by the age of 6 that trying to be a boy wasnt working out. Then again, I’m not strictly transgender, I’m intersex, as I already have bits belonging to both genders. But yes,for ease in explanation and stuff, I’m transgender. Thats hard enough to explain to some, let alone getting into the area of Intersex!

My personal opinion? I dont think anyone should, or should be expected to conform to a gender pre puberty. Hey, thats when hormones really kick in, and give good clues on the matter. But I know, convenience, and conforming with the gender game, cant wait that long, can we? Unlike her, I do think there are transgender people, but convincing me that someone transgender, not intersex really knows that, pre puberty, well…?

Anyway, someone was having their say on Twitter, along the lines of whichever ‘bits’ you’re born with, thats your gender. Anyway, feeling sore, having been stabbed with needles for blood earlier that morning, and feeling mischievous, I asked what happened if you were born with both sets of ‘bits’, like me? I got a nice surprise, she knew that made me intersex, not a ‘gender of convenience’ person as she sees many transgender people, and it pretty much came down to the fact that I should live in the gender I feel comfortable in, which of course I do.

No, we didnt go away following each other, one way, or both, on Twitter, but I guess it shows that if you act in an adult manner, pre conceptions can be proved wrong, I’m delighted to say.

Video time. I’m sure I must have used this before, but I wanted something with an apt lyric line, and its a much under rated Squeeze song, so…

PS Sunday is Transgender Day of Visibility, supported by both Transgender, and Intersex people, hopefully everywhere?

Giving up a little bit

Lets say that this might be getting a little bit ahead of myself, but given comments I’ve got from 2 sets of medical people in recent days, quite possibly I’m not, though equally now, I do wonder if I’m officially healthy enough for a certain option to happen, rather than being able to bide my time?

Yes, those of you with reasonable memories, and who have been reading these musings for a while, may remember that during Transgender Week of Awareness last November, I pledged that post retirement, I would actually go ahead and get the ‘big snip’ done, never imagining just how soon that moment might arise? Well, at this point, pre blood tests, pre neurological checks, and probably some heart checks too, I dont officially stand at a point where I’m immediately looking at medical retirement. But yes, over the weekend, the thought did more than cross my mind.

No, I’m not considering not going through with the pledge, all things permitting. Firstly (though seemingly likely), its not yet confirmed that I cant recover sufficiently at some point, that I will be able to go back to work. But fine, unless my speech improves dramatically, fairly quickly (I’m 61 already, lets face it), I wont be able to do call centre work, lets face it. Equally, there is the counter issue, my health. Would they actually be happy to do the sex reassignment surgery on someone whose health is as questionable as mine is now?

One thing would then be for sure. In good time, post-op, the issue of a ‘little bit’ that a chorus girl dancer’s outfit might tend to reveal, would no longer be a concern! In truth, I have no idea how the timing would work out. Strictly, I’ve lived as a woman for nearly 10 years, so that qualifying period is more than over. Equally, though that ‘little bit’ hasnt worked in even longer than that, I havent actually been taking female hormones either. Indeed, another thing, as well as the actual surgery that I’m not sure how keen they would be to let me do, given the seizures, and stuff?

Anyway, lets see what the results of the tests are first, shall we? So what do you reckon, was it someone trying to stop me being a chorus girl, or was it someone trying to ensure I become a proper chorus girl, with proper bits? Hmm?

So will it be 5 years time before I complete transition, or a lot sooner? Or, hopefully not, medically unable to do so?

OK, video time. Just over 40 years ago Supertramp were one of those bands you tended to avoid admitting you loved. Probably still are, but I’m past the point of caring! A lovely live version from more recent times

Something needs to change?

Would you believe, with a title like that, that the inspiration is cricket, not politics? Oh, and a bit of LGBT issue too.

Of my 3 main incidents of transphobic personal issues, 2 are related to people of West Indian origin. Thats not to say that all West Indians are transphobic, or that the issue purely relates to them, because neither would be true. Because equally, my biggest wolf whistle also came from someone of the same origin, not that I was ever sure if looked above my boobs, but anyway… Oh, and I know numerous others who have been nice to me too.

Oh right, back to cricket. One of my main issues with cricket over the years, has related to the so called ‘sledging’ that goes on, to the opposition. Personally I dont think its needed, though I remember one hilarious moment on Sky Cricket, where Niall O’Brien was sledging his brother, Kevin, in one of those televised 20 over games.

Anyway, supposedly, yesterday, one of the West Indian bowlers is said to have made a homophobic comment to the England captain, Joe Root. I dont know the actual words used (they werent picked up), but Root’s reply was,

“Don’t use it as an insult. There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”Ā 

And Root is right, there isnt. Seemingly the bowler concerned said something apologetic in reply, but it wasnt apologetic to LGBT people, just to Root, judging by later reports. Its all gone over the top, in 2 directions on Twitter, anyway.

Firstly, there are those declaring Root worthy of sainthood for what he did, but in truth, all he did was what you would expect from any decent person. Great for him saying it, but hero worship is taking it a little too far.

The opposite is the homophobics on Twitter, saying that because we dont have the actual words said to Root, it isnt true. But hey, why would Root say what he did, and seemingly the umpires report after play to the match referees, if it wasnt true?

Anyway, regardless, I want to say thank you to a fellow Yorkshire man for standing up for LGBT folk. At the same time, I’m not going to declare endearing love, and hero worship for it, as some have done, seemingly.

But yes, things need (in an ideal world) to change, both in a sledging, and homophobic way. Sadly, I dont expect perfection in my lifetime, but who knows?

OK, video, some very early, very raw punk stuff from the Stranglers. 2 songs for the price of 1 video, lol

To make me feel like a natural woman?

Start of February is always a funny period for me nowadays, for several reasons. Monday, was the date that would have been my mothers 91st birthday. Before you go all gooey, dont, because she hated the fact I came out as Transgender, and pretty much disowned me for it. Thankfully she’s no longer with us (and hasnt been for a while now), so issue is over, but of course when the 4th February rolls around, its a pretty sore date for me, but one that sticks in my memories, anyway.

Today actually brought me some good news, I’ve got the benefit funding to be able to cut back to working 3 days a week, which will be a major blessing for me, as my back isnt up to even a 4 day week any more. Now I just have to sort out with work on whether I give up Friday, or Saturday as a working day in the near future. Fairly easy on it, both have advantages, both have disadvantages, but I’ll probably just do what suits everyone mutually. But the thought of not having to do 2 days in a row any more will be heaven. Sounds terrible really, but I’m nearly 61, with a damaged spine, and I’ve worked hard for the best part of 45 years, so…

Of course the other significant date in the first half of February, is a week today. Yes, that much over hyped event named Valentines Day. This year I will probably hit 20 years without even a card, unless someone wants to prove me wrong. Strictly, one friend sent me an amusing t-shirt for the day, which I’ve never worn in public (it says Mind Controlled Sex Slave, for heavens sake), not because I dont find it amusing, because it would be fun to be one, but just for the sake of public taste. In truth, its somewhere in my room, but no idea where now! And yes, she was married, with a kid, but anyway…

So yes, challenge thrown down. You dont have to wine and dine me, or send me chocolates, or flowers or anything else that costs money. If you want to, then fine, and let me know via the email address mentioned shortly, but I’m not expecting that. In truth, I’m not even looking for a real card, unless so inclined. But yes, a plain, disabled trans lady, now in her 60’s, would just like something to cheer her up a week from now. E-card, or anything else as anonymous as you wish. Just to make me feel like a natural, cared for woman. (See video shortly). So anyone that wants to be my ‘fake’ Valentine beau, feel free to comment here, or email me at stephmajor8@hotmail.com on the day, and at least make me feel wanted, even if I’m not.

Equally (ha ha), if there is someone who wants me to get a special treat, or be their asexual courtesan, same address will work! I know, I wont even expect the e-card, lol.

OK, so I used this video only about 6 months ago, but the line about natural woman was just too hard to resist!

 

Tribute to a transgender pioneer

Irony moments here. It was only after I’d written the blogs last night, that I heard that Julia Grant had passed away (some places she’s called Julie, which explains the video). Still, I thought it gave me an option for a blog on Sunday, as it was something I wanted to comment on. And then, yesterday, and this morning, my back fell victim to a lack of physiotherapy, and some cold weather, and was pretty much totally locked up this morning. Thankfully, I’ve eased that issue, with my first experience of an infra red sauna (or indeed any sauna) today. Wouldnt say its cured it completely, but on a pain scale of 1 to 10, its gone from 10, to 2 or 3, lol.

Julia Grant wasnt the first person to change gender, I’m not even sure if she was the first in the UK to do so, but she’s probably seen as the pioneer over here in the UK, because back in 1979, her transition was part of a BBC Documentary. Whether she kick started Sex Reassignment Surgery availability in the NHS in the UK, who knows? Quite possibly she did, but regardless of that, she was the one who did it in the eyes of the public.

I’m not going to say it wouldnt now be available on the NHS without her, as times have changed, but then again, history makes it impossible to go down a different route, and find out. I’m not going to say much about her life since then, as all I know of it, is a few lines on the internet today, and if you want to read that, well, you can Google (or whichever search engine you prefer) for those details quite easily! Funny thing is, she was only 3 years older than me!

I know, I had said in the past that unless the need arose (a partner) for me, I wasnt going to do the surgery, supposedly far too much like pain for a wimp like me. Then I’ve discovered the ‘joys of pain’ through my disabilities, and during Transgender Awareness Week, a couple of months back, I did say I was going to get it done, but only once I’ve retired, as its quite a recovery period for all, and I should imagine even more so, at my age! When that retirement date might be, is the 64 million dollar question! The way its going, it could be any time from a few weeks from now, until March 2024 (retirement age), or anywhere in between? My money is not as late as the latter date, but hopefully I can get through a few more months, or even a couple of years before the pain in the body wins out! Well, a lottery win might jump up and change matters, but with my luck in life, pigs flying is just as likely!

So, RIP Julia Grant, for being the one brave enough to go through transition, under the lights of TV documentaries. I dont know if I shall ever bother with the sex thing, but being able, one day, to look down, and see the correct ‘bits’ will be a wonderful thing for me too. Without her, whether I would be able to get that done on the NHS, who knows?

OK, video time. As I say, in a couple of places, she’s referred to as Julie Grant, which is how I found this video. Just to add, this is an entirely different person, even if she was actually known as Julie Grant, not Julia. A few minor hits in the early 60’s, but found this live video, from 2010, for tonight