Category Archives: Space Craft

Calling occupants of Planet 3, System X7

Before I get started, I know this is strictly a day late due to medical news, and apologies, but hopefully most wanted to know that news. Strictly, there is no concrete evidence that this happened 72 years ago, but given that someone believes I’m of alien origin (I wish), and that would be the obvious way my relatives arrived on this planet… Seriously, if anyone wants to buy me, or design for me a really good alien costume, then… 😉

(7 July 2019)

Greetings, inhabitants of Planet 3, System X7,

As some of you believe, and we arent actually denying, on this day, 72 years ago, one of our spaceships was forced to land on your tiny planet. We found a suitable landing place near Roswell, New Mexico, and if our pilot had managed to land as planned, we would have used the needed services, then in good time, return to our home planet, in, well, you wouldnt be able to find us if we told you!

But no, in his enthusiasm to get to that strange substance you call beer, he made a bit of a mess of the landing, damaged the ship a bit, and before we could finish repairs, some of your people turned up to check on us. Most helpful they were too, taking us to some site where we could complete repairs far easier than where we’d landed. In exchange, we gave them a guided tour of the ship, explained how once repaired, we’d soon get it flying at 10 times the speed of light yet again, and we would then accelerate away from there.

They invited some of us to stay behind, take in the whole ‘Earth’ experience. As we discovered, they were more interested in what we could do, but we only ever let them know the basics, and no more. When the Captain confirmed that a ship could soon come and collect us as needed, some of us decided to give it a go, after they offered to provide some humans for crew, and experiments, in return.

Some stayed a few Earth years before making the call home to be collected, but others of us decided to settle. Its not difficult, our cloaking devices are several thousand years ahead of anything you might have, (That camouflage you use on military vehicles, seriously?) so…

Yes, one of us born on your quaint planet is actually helping to write this, though I gather she now so despairs of you, she’s requested a transfer back to her ‘natural’ planet, says much for you Earthlings! She says someone has seen through her disguise, though we have no idea how. She also seems to have developed a few health problems which we can quickly cure.

Its amusing how advanced you think you are nowadays, and granted, compared to 1947, you are, though much of that is down to us.  But compared to us, well… stone age, darlings!

So, given we need to send a large spaceship to collect one passenger, we’re making a one time offer to join us, far out in the Milky Way. There are a few physical adjustments we’d need to make to you, health checks permitting (some of you even enjoying anal probing, I’ve heard?) to live on your new home, but otherwise…

Just one warning, for those who might be considering it, your new home believes in all sorts of equalities. Oh, and we’re all bisexual, just saying… 😉 But if you fancy that life, reply to this missive, and well, who knows?

I gather I need to add something called a music video. Some think a group called The Carpenters created this song, but they are wrong. A group with a suitably alien name, Klaatu actually did so. Checks census lists…ah, that explains it! This is a video of their short 2011 single version of the song. Its not hard to find the longer version, either by them, or the Carpenters on You Tube, if you prefer, though only the latter has actual humans performing in it.

Lets fly the broomstick!

Well, I guess that on Thursday, the next blog might have to mention some soccer tournament, if the result is right tomorrow night, but other than that, I’m running a bit low on ideas now I’m producing 3 blogs a week, for 2 blogs, so if anyone has any subject matter they want discussed, with weird being fine, feel free to suggest away! And by the way, if you thing this blog is a bit out of left field, you should see the other one, or perhaps you will? 😉

Lets just say that if I wait for a polite, sweet greeting from Eric when I get home from work, I’ll have a long wait. Dont get me wrong, thats not in the nature of either of us, and being truthful, I’d wonder what was up if he did!

So, to cut a long story short, I got home last night, to discover that Eric had lost his broomstick that he uses in the back yard. Yes, thats right, I was asked if I’d taken it out for a flight, as, you know, like witches do! Well, I suppose it makes a change from the alien, or dinosaur comments, but besides that… No, before you ask, I hadnt seen it, and definitely hadnt taken it out for a flight, though in truth, I only wish I could, as it would be far more reliable than First Buses will ever be! And equally, as per last night, if I got a late call, as its about time to go home, thereby missing my normal bus, it would be so much easier if I did have one.

Instead of then leaving Bradford 22 minutes later than normal, and then suffering a journey where the driver seemed to think that 30 mph would be excessive, so I was late back to Huddersfield, and therefore missed the bus I should catch home off that one. I ended up blowing some of my tax refund on a taxi fare home, so that I could avoid being 30 minutes or so late home.

Yes, just imagine the convenience, if all I had to do was pick up my broom, get to my take off space in the car park, and fly home. Fine, I might prefer a helmet, to a witches hat, but hey, I guess if I had magical powers, it probably wouldnt matter? Get home, and indeed to work far quicker if I could too, what a bonus! And fine, I know witches arent meant to be the prettiest of creatures, but given this is me we’re talking about, lol…?

Wonder if I could make the TV news, flying to and from work on one of those? I suspect the answer is yes, most definitely, but then again, I would in a flying saucer too! Mind, one of those, and the trip would probably be down to minutes, I suspect a broomstick might be slightly slower, lol?

But yes, if anyone has a flying broomstick (ideally with safety harness), or even better, a flying saucer, or space craft that I could use for commuting, please, please let me know! Seriously, I’d love to have to not rely on First Buses, believe me!

OK, video time. Sadly, You Tube couldnt provide me with a live Brenda Lee performance of this song (just a small snippet), so you’ll have to settle for the more recent (still 37 years old) Coast To Coast version. Yes, that blonde dancing in the background, I wish!

 

A flying visit for Thanksgiving?

Firstly, I have to duly thank Stacie for providing me with the inspiration for tonights blog. Without her, I have no idea what you might be getting!

This morning, when I logged into that insanity that is Facebook, I found she’d slipped this onto my timeline, and I just loved it. Yes, seriously, if anyone wants to arrange to deliver me one of these before Thanksgiving (topical), or Christmas, I wont say no!

Please, dont get all technical on me, about it being the wrong model, or whatever, I wouldnt have a clue, just look on it with an amused eye, OK? Or the grammar, which is wrong, but not my fault! Or costs to run it, OK? Yes, I would love one, if it was possible, but thats beside the point. Just look at it in the way, that on a morning when my back was aching ‘a bit’, it cheered me up no end to see it, when I got on Facebook this morning.

Of course, to make it perfect for me, I would also need a classic space suit to wear, or even more fun, a real quality alien body suit (Yes, full body, including head) to wear while flying it. I know, its not an alien space craft, but seriously, that would just be so much fun!

However, for some strange reason, when I look on the Amazon website, its nowhere to be seen! What a let down! Yes, tongue, firmly in cheek, lol! I suspect that if I looked for them on there, I might find a full cover alien bodysuit. I suspect less so for adult women, than children, but I suspect there are some there. Perhaps rashly, I’ve promised her that if I can find a nice one, for about £25, if I get the second reward voucher, that I’ll buy one! Mind, as I would enjoy wearing it, well… 😉

No, if only first one arrives, it will either be a dress (vintage style) or winter boots, but now, if the second one arrives, and I find a decent full body one, well…would be a fun look to model, for sure! No, I dont seriously expect the space craft, but if you’re offering…?

But yes, Stacie, if said craft arrives in time for me to fly there for Thanksgiving dinner, I will be there, as I suspect the flight time would be pretty rapid! And believe me, if an alien costume mysteriously turns up too, I promise to wear it for the flight!

Tonights video is an apt piece of Euro disco, from the late 70’s. Just amuses me to think that if a certain cute chorus line dancer had bee around then, at a young age, it might have been the sort of thing she did!

What kind of fool?

Yes, I planned to write this blog last night, but simply ran out of time. As most will have noticed, yesterday was April Fools Day, which brings out all the pranksters, with stories that on any other day, you might think could be true, but on that one day of the year, no chance!

The first one I saw yesterday morning, actually featured a famous local celebrity, and a surprise transfer out of town. Even in these days of social media (and yes, she’s on Facebook), I’m not sure how many know about the famous Huddersfield Station cat, Felix. And yes, despite the name, Felix is a she! I’m yet to see her at the station, because I hardly use it nowadays, and on the rare occasion I have been, nowhere to be seen, probably sleeping!

But the big story, she’d been poached by a larger station in the area, Leeds, and was going to move there. It seemed from comments on her Facebook page, that some people hadnt spotted the date before commenting! Anyway, many of us did realise, and commented accordingly. In the end, a hasty denial that Felix was truly going nowhere, beyond Platform 8, was posted up on her page!

The other related story, that wasnt actually an April Fool, was the transfer of the Rail Franchises around here. Well, on paper, its transfers, in practice, its more of the same. The people who were running Trans Pennine Express, and Northern Rail changed their image, made lots of wild promises about improving journeys, both on punctuality, and quality of train services were provided, but I wont be holding my breath. We were promised a much better service by TPE a few years back, and nothing really happened! Maybe it will this time, but…I suspect it will turn into another April Fool, given the date it happened!

Oh, me, post up an April Fool, of course I wouldnt! Well, maybe…Yes, fine, I did. I claimed I would no longer need to use public transport, because I’d laid my hands on one of these.

CJ and Todd

Nice, isnt it? Yes, I wish, could certainly get to LA a lot quicker in one of those, for sure. And probably fly at a higher altitude than 38,000 feet too! Faster than 500 mph, or so, as well, I should think. But yes, sadly, I only own it in my dreams, ah well…

The video. Well you’d have to be a fool to believe some of the things posted yesterday, so I selected this