Category Archives: Transphobia

People are strange?

One of the things I find odd about social media comes back to people watching, and who shows an interest in you. On Facebook recently (last month or so), I’ve got dozens of friend requests, that to put it mildly, are out of the ordinary. They’ve been people I havent known before, had no previous contact with, and the only thing I could even see in common with them would be the Transgender thing.

But even then… I quickly put together that the vast majority of these weren’t the sort of Transgender women that actually had anything in common with me. Admittedly it took a few that I acted as a nominal mother hen to, before I got the connection, but then it started to get regular. Many only with few pictures, so actual comments, and indeed some that seems to do nothing but put up adverts for things they seemingly wanted me to buy. The other thing that crept in after the first few (have no idea if this was deliberate or not?) was profiles that made it very clear they were anti men, in all ways. So anyway, after the first dozen or so got friends acceptance, I started getting very careful, and have since rejected far more than I’ve accepted. Given I’ve not bothered to follow the postings of these people, I havent actually got round to unfriending any yet, but maybe…? Hey, I’m bisexual, have nothing against men at all.

But actually, the one who inspired this blog, isnt from Facebook, but Twitter. People follow you there, and short of blocking them, its hard to stop them doing so. Generally if people follow me, I take a look at their recent posts, and make a call on whether to follow back, or not.

A few weeks back, someone started following me, and her profile had enough to tempt me to follow back, even though I didnt know her at all. It would have been an LGBT issue, but now, a few weeks later, I’m not even sure she’s LGBT! In fact, may well be phobic towards us!

A week or so ago, she went into what, shall I call weird mode. Firstly it was rants against a man that was supposedly making contact with her, after they’d broken up, and that she was threatening to report him to the police. His responses to her postings seemed to suggest he was doing nothing of the kind. She then started to attack the police for not acting on her claims any more. I assume (but cant be sure) that even if they did investigate, they came to the conclusion he’d done nothing wrong, but she doesnt want to accept that fact.

Then this morning, among my notifications to deal with, was what I can only described as a typical TERF, anti trans question about my right to a female passport. Not that its any of her business, but I politely explained that I qualified on grounds of length of time living as a woman, hoping that would satisfy her. Nope! Came back saying it shouldnt be allowed pre op, so just as I was about to just give up following her, I read the last line, in which she claimed she wasnt transphobic! When I stopped laughing at that last comment I checked, and yes, she’d already stopped following me, but of course I have no idea when she did so! So yes, I’ve blocked her, just to be safe.

I know, maybe I should feel sorry for her, it might all be a mental health issue, for all I know? But its no one I know, she lives nowhere near me, so what can I do?

I know, the whole world is full of strange people, just wish a few less were attracted to me, but anyway…?

OK, video time. Back to the old system, blog title is same as song title, what can I say?

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What you going to do about it. The passing of time.

Is this LGBT issue? Is this politics? Is it both? Well, maybe…?

In truth, on 24th May 1988, I didnt know I was transgender, intersex, and heaven forbid, bisexual to top it all. I knew I was a bit (to put it mildly) confused about my sexuality, and other stuff, but didnt really know what it all was. Funnily enough, I was supposedly in a straight relationship, with a woman, that in truth, never had a hope.. The fact that we lived together for as long as 11 years, in hindsight, was pretty amazing, but we did. I mean, there was a spell before the end, when we knew it was coming to the end, but didnt really know why, other than my feelings of it being wrong, trying to be in a straight relationship with her. I wonder if we could ever have made it as 2 lesbians, lol? Probably not, but I have to wonder?

Anyway, on above date, something critical happened, that at the time I didnt really know applied to me, but now… Section 28 was introduced by the Conservative government of the time, which made it even harder to be LGBT, especially in an education sense, but done damage to numerous LGBT people over the years it lasted. Funny how things go round, about education, and LGBT issues in the UK, isnt it?

So, one year later to the day (yes, 30 years ago today), Stonewall was founded, to fight this ghastly legislation. Eventually, thankfully, Section 28 was repealed, and things improved to some degree for LGBT people. Equally, thankfully, though that fight is over, Stonewall is still here to support us, and judging by recent happenings, we still need them today, I only wish we didnt. Not helped by the fact that TI people seem to need ever more support against others that are meant to be with us, a section of the L’s! Me, on 2 counts!

Firstly, lets deal with the one that annoys me, those that wont accept that Trans Women are real women, even after their bits have been ‘bobbed’, for those that applies to. I dont know exactly what TERF stands for, but thats the general term for them. What is even more hypocritical about them isnt just the fact that they are against Transgender women using the same facilities as them (because we were born men, or for intersex folk like me, born also with boy bits), they are against Transgender men sharing facilities with them, even if by their ‘reasoning’ they were born with girl bits, but now have boy bits! They see them as men too, so you tell me? As for those of us with both genitalia, as to what facilities we’re meant to use, heaven knows?

The other thing that amuses me with some lesbians (generally, but not exclusively the same ones) is their abhorrence to relationships with bisexual women, because heaven forbid, we’ve had sex with men, as well as women. Seems with some, that even looking at a man in ‘that way’ is enough to condemn you. So yes, any time you think all LGBTI+ people support each other, please think again.

And yes, guess what, Stonewall is more than happy to support both these groups, despite their own brands of bi, and trans phobia. So Stonewall is good, but like regulations, still has a long way to go, dont kid yourself.

I tried to come up with something original for the video, and seeing Section 28 was designed to make LGBT activity illegal in so many ways, I came up with this! Maybe we now need to load up with rainbow, rubber bullets?

What someone should do for me

OK, I dont really mean it, unless you really want to, but it fits in with the video, so…?

Tomorrow is the International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia. So, yes, giving you a bit of warning, so dont say I didnt tell you. Hopefully at least some knew already, but just in case…? And yes, its better than getting me started on Alabama, and Georgia, and now seemingly Missouri, so… No, seriously, dont!

Its funny, this year will be the least I’ve done for this in a few years, but such is the state of my health. Doesnt mean I wont be at home supporting the cause, but still going to be funny not doing something for the department, or the civil service, or anything more this week. And yes, my usual disclaimer, please people, lets make it so we dont have to do this sort of thing any more, OK? Sadly at the moment things seems to be getting worse, not better! Of course those that need to be educated the most will be the ones not reading this, I guess?

I know, its easy for me to say, given I’m Bi, Trans/Intersex, and support all others affiliated in all the letters mentioned generally, but I dont get the Phobia. Firstly, its us, its who we are, so just live with it! Secondly, unless some evil scientist has come up with an evil virus that no one has told me about, you cant catch LGBTI+ from those of us that already are. So just relax, OK?

Oh, and as for the whole toilet thing, I dont know about some, but I go in there for one reason, to use the toilet, wash my hands (see, no gay infection issue, lol), and then get on with that boring thing called normal life. And to all those who say you should use the toilet relating to your genitals, well, I have girl bits, so I’m entitled to use the ladies, and not the gents, OK? Snag is, I also boy bits, so I’m entitled to use the gents, but not the ladies. Does that mean I can use either, neither, or what? And think carefully before answering incorrectly, and making yourself look an idiot. Yes, going to stick to using the ladies, as I have for nearly 10 years now!

PS, if anyone knows a pain free way to remove the boy bits, and tidy up the girl bits for me, feel free! Alternatively, a non sexual cyborg/robot body, complete with either assisting AI, or full interface, or control, even better, due to my current brain function issues.

But other than that, I just request people to treat IDAHOBIT day tomorrow, and the people it related to nicely, not just tomorrow, but forever. OK, plea over.

Video time. For the second time this week, in tribute to the late, great Doris Day, one of her song. I know, its cutely straight, but just change the u, to an a, and… 😉