The only snag with time travelling back to the 1930’s is if you get caught out time travelling. Its fine if I put on the Clara Johnson look, as no one is the wiser, but if I forget, or the camouflage vanishes, well…
So there I was, coolly back in 1933, walking past Warner’s studio, when I felt a hand on my shoulder, and a voice said, “Clara, so good to see you, we need you for a photo shoot right away. Just go put on a sexy dress, get down to the stills studio, and get it done.”
Well, given I didnt want her to get into trouble, what can I say, I went along with it. Short dress, showing lots of leg, enough to get the men excited, and all that. Up until yesterday, no concern, never seen recently, so I assumed it had got conveniently lost, until it hadnt!
OK, anyone who believed that story, you’re way too innocent, even if it looks like it was taken 85 years ago, lol. Actually, it was taken about 5 years ago, but you have to admit, it has the look of something far more vintage. This fact is down to the talent of a friend named Frank, nothing to do with time travel, or studio photo shoots at Warner’s in 1933. But yes, look at those legs, lol, all me!
I assume its all done with one of these modern computer filter things, to turn this
into my 1930’s self! I actually posted it for a Myrna Loy ‘homage’ photo contest, said jokingly that it should look more 1930’s, and lo and behold…
But fine, if you really want to think that the first picture is genuinely me, taken in 1933, and that the second one is a colourised version of it, then fine. But which is the true story, you decide! 😉
So, you might then be asking, what was Clara doing at Warner’s in 1933, in the first place? Well, unsurprisingly, it was for one of those magical Buzby Berkeley musical numbers. Clearly she was a competent swimmer, as she is in this, see if you can spot her? Easiest in the fountain section, but you do see her in the pool too. So…?
A piece of amusing fluff that my brain can probably cope with today that I want to get out of my system, even if I know I’m not going to get any positive replies. Please note, this is only based on the 99.99% assumption that I’m not going to be fit for work ever again, or at least in the foreseeable future. Should my neurologist have the skills of Rotwang, and either replace my brain with the most complex AI system, or even better, do a Maria on me, and turn me into a robot, then this wont be needed, and I’d be a happy bunny. Again, given this is less likely than the other 0.01% chance, lets go with the flow (and silliness).
In September/October, the other 2 here are planning on heading down to Portugal on a leisurely basis, away for 3-4 weeks. Now if my body, and more importantly my brain were functioning normally, all would be fine. Cats might complain about erratic feeding times, but they’d survive. Thing is, my brain most definitely isnt functioning normally, is it? So yes, I’m going to need a minder of some kind, arent I? Even if the meds do seem to have my problems currently under control (if not my mind under control, sadly), I do need to be checked regularly, just in case. Unless…?
Oh fine, lets face it, I’m not your perfect companion/courtesan type, am I? I’m not a pretty, sexy little 20 something female, happy to pay her way in company, and err, other things (sex stuff, for those who really are innocent), am I? I’m a less than stunning, 60 something, with a few health issues that need keeping an eye on, and thats before you even get to the bit about being pre op Transgender, with no interest in sex! Equally, I’m less demanding than said sex kittens. As long as I have something basic to eat (clean minds, please), have internet connection, availability to televised baseball/NFL maybe, a comfy bed, and someone to make sure I dont have a seizure or something, I wont demand the world. Thats not to say that if someone offered the world (or any decent life standard in between), that I wouldnt say no, but…
And yes, I dont need an apartment//beach house (yes Marion Davies, looking at you) permanently, I just need somewhere comfortable to live for shall we say, 4 weeks? Mind, if you want to set me up as your modern day ‘Marion Davies’, well…?
But seriously, if any generous person wants to simply ‘mind’ me, for a few weeks, somewhere decently warm (or warmer), no commitment, for little financial reward, then fine, thats all I really need. I’m not very mobile, to put it politely, but I’m definitely not an acting diva, either, darlings. But if you want a companion for events/meals, well…
Talking of which, if all this supposed time travel stuff is true, and someone in the 1920’s reads this, and fancies a less than frisky flapper for a few weeks, looking the part, send me a telegram, or something. Or email (firstname.lastname@example.org), if really a time traveller, lol. (modern people can also use said email address too)
Alright, my dream result of this request? A wealthy person from California, or Florida, seeking a companion for a few weeks, probably live in, or regularly visited, where I could play the part of the ‘lady of the house’ for a few weeks would be heaven, but that doesnt happen in real life, does it?
Equally, if anyone needs a guinea pig for robot, or AI experiments, well…? 😉 Lets face it, I could really do with a new brain, or ideally, body! Now that really would be fun!
OK, wishful thinking over, which leads to video time. Being bisexual, I couldnt go strictly with the song title, but this would be heaven. One of those delicious movies with a 20’s feel! Oh, I love Twiggy’s outfit!
Well, fine, a couple of years younger and I really could have posted this as the roaring twenties lol, albeit one hundred years on from the original, but anyway…
So, last night, for the first time (but not the last) in a week, I got into flapper girl mode last night. Oh fine, pushing 60, girl might be being a bit optimistic, but hey, all I need is a good rejuvenation machine, and a dancing skills neural download, then watch me go! Open to all mad scientist offers to arrange that, by the way! 😉 Oh please, dream birthday present, and all that! Then I could show Clara Johnson how to dance! Well, probably not, but…
So yesterday, after the working day, I, and several work colleagues (8 in the end) showed up for a lovely meal, at a lovely restaurant in Bradford. 3 of us at least probably had the staff wondering which decade they’d opened the doors into! No, to be fair to the others, notice was limited, and it is a cost, so… still kudos to Madi, and Rebecca for putting on a show too. What, you want proof, of me at least? Oh fine!
Now where did that time travel portal disappear to? As you cant see from these shots, my dress wasnt quite as short as the ones being worn by the young ladies in the video, but hey, I’m very nearly 60, so… Not sure the dress on Friday will be as long lol! But yes, if I get pictures, and my legs arent too shocking a sight…? 😉
In truth, my dress was very maxi in length, and even after Ella took it up (thanks given) a few inches for me, it was still touching the ground! Taking it up again, and then I might even flash a little ankle, ooh! If done, I might take it to Blackpool on Friday as a back up, as I know it fits, and then I might wear it again next Saturday, for the birthday meal for the home group. If not, it will get worn again, I’m sure, just not quite sure when!
Still, until next Friday at least, I will have to live in this strange thing called the modern world! Unless I can find that portal, and then wouldnt I be the cat’s whiskers, darling!
Video time. No, I didnt do any dancing last night, nor will I be planning to dance on Friday without a lot of assistance mentioned above. My dress last night wasnt this short, but next Friday, who knows?
OK, fine, before I let someone else take over for 1 night, a few quick words. I didnt believe in time travel, until this amazing blonde woman turned up in my room, with a red headed friend. If I didnt know better, I’d say it was Myrna Loy, and Jean Harlow, but… Oh, fine, it is, seemingly. And a birthday girl seemingly wants to say Hi!
Ow! Ouch! Leave me alone, you can have the computer now, OK? Right, as mentioned, you have a special guest writer tonight, so I’d better let her get on with it!
“Right, fine. How do I use this weird looking type writer then? Oh, right, like that, and when I’ve finished, you’ll do the clever stuff? OK! Fine, fine, I’ll do the mind meld later, as promised!” 😀 “Yes, and if Boris Karloff can get that weird machine of his to work, look just like me too!”
Hi there, modern day gentlemen, and ladies, my name’s Harlean, but you know me better by another name, Jean. Ring a bell around here, or six, maybe? 😉 Yes, I’m here today to mention that its my birthday today, March 3. Not looking bad for 105, if I say so myself. Alright, fine, if you’re being fussy, I know, I died 79 years ago, but where’s the excitement in that?
Yeah, time travel. I know Myrna (Loy) and Clara (Bow) said not to mention it, but hey I’ve got to explain how I’m able to use this computer thingy, anyway. Besides which, the amount of times Clara, and Brooksie, have had their pictures taken, using their cell phones, sheesh! Bill (Powell) has told me not to say anything nasty about Louis B (Mayer), and being I’m a good girl, fine by me.
Alright, if anyone had told me back in the 1930’s, that I’d still be amazingly popular 80 years on, I’d have laughed at them, I wasnt that great an actress, surely? But yeah, fine, its nice to know, all the same, thanks so much. 🙂
Right, lastly, before I let that boring, modern day person take her blog back over, lets kill off a few silly rumors.
1. My Mother did not stop Doctors, or Nurses seeing me in my dying days, she just didnt trust the ones that Mr Mayer wanted to use, and I dont blame her for that. Oh, and if they had worked out what was wrong with me earlier, no change, nothing could be done for kidney failure back then. 10 years or so later, yes, maybe, but back then, no chance.
2. My kidney issues did not relate to the bleaching/coloring of my hair, being beaten by anyone (nope, not done), or any of the other silly stuff suggested. I got scarlet fever as a teenager, and that caused issues with my kidneys, though no one knew it. Might have been fine, if I hadnt smoked heavily, had a drink, or six, but given I did…they gave up the fight!
3. The real me, was the one you see in the later movies, not the wild sex tiger, of the pre code days. Yes, fine, it was fun (at times) playing those sort of roles, but important word, play. Yes, fine, I wasnt ashamed of my body, and I might not have been a virginal angel between relationships, but at other times…
4. Yeah, those 60’s biog movies they made of me. Sheesh, pure fiction! Yeah, Bill got hold of a copy, and we spent the night wondering who they were based on, sure wasnt me. Laugh, you bet we did! There’s a good, but hard to get one, written not so long ago, by a guy called David Stenn, thats accurate at least! Maybe you can find it online, if nothing else?
Oh right, I’m told I have to put up a video. You’re not going to like this, its me, singing. Yeah, fine, wasnt my strong point, not that I was a great dancer either, but anyway… So you might want to be brave, or you might want to pass on this.
Yeah, sorry, normal, boring service will be resumed on this blog now, I’m afraid. Who knows, 1 year from now, I might bully her off here again! 😀
Bye! Jean xxx
Well, for those of you who care enough to read this, I didnt get one comment on my ‘new look’ at work, says it all really! The fun thing I’ve discovered is that if you run down the street, or across the road, these will bounce, jiggle, or however you like to put it, just like real breasts would, even when encased in a bra. Fine when you get used to it, as I’m beginning to, but a bit of a shock the first time it happens.
The other intriguing factor is that the acceptance rate seems to have gone up again, now whether thats just because I havent run into the wrong crowd yet (Friday and Saturday evening in Leeds should be a clue on that), or whether the fact that these beauties look so real, that people think they must be! Either that, or people are just getting used to that strange woman by now lol!
I have to say it though, I’m glad I’ve got the foam ones to sleep in, and yes, they are very comfortable for doing so, but no sensation, or bounce with them, but thats hardly a surprise.
You know that thing about the countdown to a holiday? Yes, 9 more days, 7 more shifts, all in a row, so its going to be a long stretch from here. But yes, its getting nearer to the big day, cant wait. No, not risking these through security at the airport, I will wear the foam ones for that, still give me a very good curve, and thats the main thing.
Beyond that, the news. Well, I’m hoping the picture shoot snaps arrive before I go, but suspect it will be a close thing, but would be nice to have them to take away. Oh, and the latest story is up too, hopefully it sells a few more than the last one did!…rolls eyes…
If you want to make an old author happy, then go to https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks and see if one takes your fancy. They are also at Amazon and Barnes and Noble, but dont want to weigh you down with too many links, just check out the author name.
A clue to the story, well, this might be one,
though the one in my story is less planned than this. Seriously, if this was real, will someone please buy me a trip! Mind, some would want to make it a one way trip for me, but even then, I might not object!
This will be it for a week or so, as I say, work calls. I’ll try and do 1 more before the holiday though. But for now…