Category Archives: Social Media

Not talking loud and clear, and other issues

Given I am now halfway through my second week of rest after treatments stopped for now at least, I am in a position to give an update on matters relating to my health, and recovery progress. So, lets do so…

Its fair to say I have good days, I have not so good days, and days when I feel pretty drained. To be fair, I was warned this would happen, so I cant really be too surprised about it. The thing is, its not just a physical matter, as my voice also seems to have days when it wants to work decently, and others where the voice really just about is usable, and indeed I can do both of those in the same day, some of the time. But as long as I dont overdo it, I survive.

One problem I am finding it harder to get by with at present though, really is only a ‘Trans’ problem, and that is the fragility of the skin on my face, especially noticeable on my top lip for shaving purposes, though in truth, currently shaving anywhere (with anything) on my face isnt the greatest experience, so in truth, I’ve pretty much given up on doing so until my skin recovers somewhat. Now if I was a natural woman, probably not a problem, but being Trans, more so. Even more so of course, because the hair on the top of my head is either very short, or non existent, giving even more of the wrong kind of look! Oh, and even more so at present, as I’m not bothering with a wig, because where I havent lost much hair, it doesnt give a snug fit. So, I think its going to be a top, and trousers look for now when out, and I’ll now tell you why…

On Tuesday lunchtime, the door bell rang, so I went to answer it, as we were expecting a delivery, and Eric was resting upstairs. But no, this was some beggar type, clearly just after money, so I declined him. Which led him to issue a stream of vitriol about a man wearing a dress, which I would normally reply with similar talk, but I guess at moment, I suppose he has a bit of a case, even if it was hardly the way to convince me to give him anyway, if I was open to discuss his situation, was it? Well, I wasnt, but even less so then, lol! I did ‘threaten’ to call the police to him, which, after a bit more less than graceful talk from him led to him heading rapidly out the front gate, just in case I did, I guess?

Oh, and then to add to the fun today, through the joy of Social Media, it seems that J K Rowling seems determined to limit her reading market even more, by joining the group who think that its impossible for anyone to be anything but 2 genders, therefore hopefully ensuring her sales to Transgender, and Intersex people collapse to zero! Mind, the way that some of the militant Transgender people have reacted to this is hardly likely to endear them to her, but anyway… that seems the way of everything on Social Media now, to just reply to insults with even stronger insults, ah well…

OK, video time. Bit of irony, as its one of the matters I’m definitely having problems with at present…

Wish I could stop the politics

Well actually, for those who dont fall for the blog title, and immediately run away, good for you, as in fact this is nothing about politics. Well, beyond the fact you could say that the video is an anti war comment at least. The other comment I will make on matters related to the video is to comment on why people claim that they are making a live performance, when they are miming to a recorded version, made nearly 40 years earlier, I have no idea? This is not said version, as I thought I might as well at least use the official video which doesnt claim to be live!

The blog is actually about one of those social media friends I made over the years, was never likely to meet, and never will now, as he passed away last week. In fact, it was only after hearing of his passing that I realised it had been a fair while since I’d heard from him, so probably related. To be fair, despite both of us having a soft place for Munster cricket, we were a lot further apart than across the Irish Sea, as he was living somewhere in Thailand, and has been out there, running his business for some time now.

I knew him originally as James Mark, though I knew very well that it wasnt his real name. But while he wanted me to know him as that, or Ryano, I ran with that. I did eventually get told his real name was Paul Ryan, but anyway, it seemed more knew him as Ryano anyway. Even now, I know that he played cricket for a few clubs in the Munster area in the late 80’s, and 90’s, and only really found that out since his death.

Yes, whatever name you wish to use for him, he was a total wind up merchant on social media. I knew it, as did many others, but the amusement that I, and others got when those not knowing came into ‘confrontation’ with him provided those of us in the knowledge with amusement. Eventually most caught on, but anyway…

I was never expecting to meet him in truth, even before my health went west, so I wasnt expecting a ‘Night In Bangkok’ or anything like that with him, and in truth, I’m not sure we would have been a good match in real life anyway.

But yes, RIP Paul, you made my life ‘entertaining’ for a few years now, and I will miss you, for sure.

OK, video time. Because of everything else, I havent bored people with Christmas songs yet, so lets start here!

Coming boomeranging back again

So fine, lets catch up on news at last, as promised. I know, been a while, but believe me, you dont want to find out just how hard the aftermath of radiotherapy is, as your body, and in my case, the brain finds the change from all of that, to none of that is quite an experience. But yes, generally, things are slowly beginning to come back on line, hence this. Some of the things that are coming back on line are not for posting in blogs, mind, lol.

So, 6th December marked the last session of radiotherapy of the 6 week session, and my next planned trip to Leeds is not until 6th January, which is already booked for the afternoon for my follow up visit. Believe me, if I see Leeds again before then, it will be too soon, lol. My friend, Angie did come across for the last day of treatment bell ringing, and at some point I will save, and post the picture of that, promise. The funny thing was the fact I had to wait for her, as I was picked up early by hospital taxi transport, there was a gap, so I got treated early, but having had a lot of late ones recently, that was a nice bonus.

In fact I’ve been out twice since then, firstly a visit to be pampered at Linda’s workplace, and make me respectable for the second trip out, the following evening for the work dinner. In truth, I had no idea how easy I would find the whole event, but found it relevantly doable, so bonus there. Oh, and had a good evening too.

Yes, I have to say I was warned the first couple of weeks after I stopped treatments, I was warned about the tiredness, and I can confirm that fact, believe me. Still, hopefully it will ease off more in the next week or so, before the trip ‘down south’ for Christmas, but I’ll get through that, I’m sure.

My only comment on the Election is that I was sort of hoping it might all calm down on Social Media after Thursday, but seemingly not. One side gloating, one side refusing to accept the result, and all that. I dread to think how long this will all take to heal, if it ever does, in my lifetime at least. Ah well…

OK, video time. To think, nearly 50 years ago, I was part of a ‘tribute’ group to this act, and in truth, you’re about as likely to find film of me performing live, as of them performing live! Mind, one of those things, you should probably be grateful for

 

 

A whole different role

As is sometimes the way, its fair to credit my inspiration (not literally) for tonight’s blog, a gentleman by the name of Eddie Deezen. You may have heard of him, or more likely heard him, because a lot of his career in recent(ish) years have been doing voices for cartoon series, and the like. For me, at my age, I remember him more for parts in both Grease films, hence tonight’s video. Anyway, this morning on his Facebook page (yes, we are friends there, fame for me, lol, though I also count Bruce Glover as a friend on that front too, ooh.

Anyway, this morning, he was posting something about someone who he had acted with in a film, and something she had done since then. Yes, I know, go find the name, fine, I did, Tawny Kitaen, he’d found an old picture of the two of them, from a film named Happy Hour, which was nothing to do with the Housemartins song, lol. Such a big film it hasnt even got any details about it on Wikipedia lol.

Anyway, this really isnt about her, its about something I did in 1979, to help a few friends out. Basically, they wanted to make a promo video, and for some reason best known to themselves, they decided to use the 2 most famous songs from Grease. They were filling the main parts, but they needed a few more to make up the 2 ‘gangs’ and I got dragged in as one of the guys. I know, be very different now, but more on that in a moment.

Given that I heard nothing more about it, I presume the video sunk like a brick, but as a 21 year old, doing amateur dramatics, and nothing more, it wasnt the end of the world for me. Mind, if it struck gold 4 years later, I wouldnt have been around for them to find me anyway. Either that, or they made it,  didnt need the supporting cast, who knows? I wasnt a great singer, but just going “Woo, woo, woo” I could cope with! As far as I know, its not on You Tube, but please dont go looking for it, just in case.

I forgot all about it, but then, out of the blue, I got a friend request on Facebook from Eddie, looked him up on Wikipedia, went ‘Oh my god” and accepted quickly. Amusing story, his friend number was at the limit, so I sent a message telling him so, assuming that would be it, but no, he made room for me, and the rest was history.

Its funny to think that now, if I was still that age I’d actually be in the girl gang, not the boys! Mind, now I’m more the age for the role played by the legendary Joan Blondell, than the girl gangs, now wouldnt that be fun?

So yes, lets finish going round the sun, to meet the moon on this blog, and get to the videos. Yes, 2 tonight for the price of one. Firstly, a live Olivia Newton John version, without Travolta

Then the one from the movie, with Travolta

I just hope no one can find that fun video including me, thats all I wish!

Yours sincerely, wasting away

Funnily enough, if there was ever a day designed to make me feel my age, its been today. I know, I do sort of know already, given I’m getting lined up for medical retirement and all that very soon, but even with that…

Ironically, in the post today I got a letter from my bosses, informing me of my current pension position with them. No, its not enough at present, even if I could walk through to 66, and lets face it, I’m not going to even get to 62 because of my body, and my brain, and well, everything else, I guess? At least the matter is now in process, the EEG on Friday, the MRI  within a couple of weeks of that, and short of a ‘Dr Frankenstein’ type makeover, as far as work is concerned, ‘She lives!’ on the personnel list wont be for much longer.

In all honesty now, if a miracle did arise, and they can solve my problems, its going to mess up my plans. Because, in truth, I’ve already started to plan post medical retirement. Assuming its ‘only’ epilepsy (I know, but compare to anything more critical with my brain, it counts as only), I will be allowed to fly again, and judging by what I can see on the internet, the pill I now need to take to keep the epilepsy under control, wont stop me being able to take those female hormones that will give me an amazing pair of DD boobs! Yes, kidding, I think, but who can tell what will happen, given its quite likely all my internal bits (not just the womb) are female? I doubt will get that big, but…?

In truth now, I’m looking forward to getting it all done, if only for clothing wishes, not for sex! Not having to worry about clothing clinging to stuff I shouldnt have, and it showing, and being able to flaunt a bit of cleavage will be fun, I must say.

So yes, all permitting, after the Autumn holiday, I’ll become even more female than now, that will be good. Now they’ll tell me its curable, quickly, lol, ah well… I dont know if the following holiday to the US will be ‘latex catsuit permit-able’ (think about it), I suspect it will take longer than that, but… And no, at my age I dont see me doing the whole latex catsuit thing anyway. Well, if its metallic silver, but seriously… I’m not sure what the plans are for the following holiday to the US, because if I have retired, my only limit will be the 90 day visa, and at least a couple are looking into medical ways to let me extend that!

The other thing that made me feel old, and fragile today, I can blame on Twitter. Something called ‘Disability Compliments’ are trending on there today, and as you can easily guess, its not that complimentary to disabled people! Seriously, if you are on there, go take a look, and hopefully wince, and say that you’d never say them. And yes, I’ve been on the receiving end of a few of those, some of which I’ve added to the collection!

Oh, and top of all that, one of the cats here is also feeling her age now, or maybe has something wrong with her, because she’s hobbling around worse than me, and thats saying something. She will be off to the Vets when the others get back, I’m sure, as I’m just her temporary nurse, lol.

So yes, this is the ‘pensioner house’ at the moment, or will be shortly, lol.

OK, strictly I’m 3 years too young for this, but what else could I go with. No, I cant find a full length Beatles/McCartney video for this, but these twins are fun, and talented, so…

 

A tainted love?

One thing that seems to have crept in with the commercialism of social media, is far too many companies trying to tweak their adverts to appeal to whichever group are in fashion at the time. So obviously in June, attention turns to Pride Month, and some firms try to make it look like they care about LGBT people, when all they are really doing is that by mentioning the subject, or maybe putting something rainbow on their banner that we will all conveniently forget how little they care for us during the other 11 months of the year.

Some fall for this, and said companies are duly grateful for said bonus business. Others just go on as before, completely ignore them, much as these companies will do with us, on July 1st! Then there are those of us who point out that the platitudes are little more than that, and suggest they do something to actually support LGBT people, and not just their profits. Today was one of the latter.

There was a group called EY asking on Twitter about who it was best for them to engage with to discuss LGBT inclusive policies. There were 3 options on the poll, none of which was the obvious answer, LGBT+ discussion groups, but all of which were groups that they would hope to grow their ‘advisory’ business through, at said profit to themselves, obviously. Their lack of response to numerous people, and groups pointing out their obvious omission to them, not a word! In other words, they wish to appear to be LGBT friendly, but its easy to see that their only interest in doing so is if it brings in business for them, presumably from people regarding them as LGBT friendly!

Mind, this isnt the worst case this month, would you believe. At the start of the month, some  company duly posted on Twitter, with a Rainbow flag under their business logo, and trying to show their love. The trouble was, someone bought up their posting from earlier this year, which showing them to be just the opposite at that point, pretty homophobic, to say the least. They hastily removed the tweet, but of course it had been reposted numerous times by then, so hopefully their so called stance was thoroughly shot down.

Oh, and they arent the only ones, thousands of companies do what I would term ‘rainbow’ postings in June, only to gain business they might not otherwise get, and nothing more. And yes, this is just the one that concerns me, they do this for all campaigns, so think carefully before you support some firms that seem surprisingly over supportive, just saying.

OK, video time. Yes, its the obvious one. Live version, very well done, long after the song was a massive hit. And yes, the opposite to the ‘Hard Sell’ some companies seem to make. It is 10 minutes plus in all, just warning you.

People are strange?

One of the things I find odd about social media comes back to people watching, and who shows an interest in you. On Facebook recently (last month or so), I’ve got dozens of friend requests, that to put it mildly, are out of the ordinary. They’ve been people I havent known before, had no previous contact with, and the only thing I could even see in common with them would be the Transgender thing.

But even then… I quickly put together that the vast majority of these weren’t the sort of Transgender women that actually had anything in common with me. Admittedly it took a few that I acted as a nominal mother hen to, before I got the connection, but then it started to get regular. Many only with few pictures, so actual comments, and indeed some that seems to do nothing but put up adverts for things they seemingly wanted me to buy. The other thing that crept in after the first few (have no idea if this was deliberate or not?) was profiles that made it very clear they were anti men, in all ways. So anyway, after the first dozen or so got friends acceptance, I started getting very careful, and have since rejected far more than I’ve accepted. Given I’ve not bothered to follow the postings of these people, I havent actually got round to unfriending any yet, but maybe…? Hey, I’m bisexual, have nothing against men at all.

But actually, the one who inspired this blog, isnt from Facebook, but Twitter. People follow you there, and short of blocking them, its hard to stop them doing so. Generally if people follow me, I take a look at their recent posts, and make a call on whether to follow back, or not.

A few weeks back, someone started following me, and her profile had enough to tempt me to follow back, even though I didnt know her at all. It would have been an LGBT issue, but now, a few weeks later, I’m not even sure she’s LGBT! In fact, may well be phobic towards us!

A week or so ago, she went into what, shall I call weird mode. Firstly it was rants against a man that was supposedly making contact with her, after they’d broken up, and that she was threatening to report him to the police. His responses to her postings seemed to suggest he was doing nothing of the kind. She then started to attack the police for not acting on her claims any more. I assume (but cant be sure) that even if they did investigate, they came to the conclusion he’d done nothing wrong, but she doesnt want to accept that fact.

Then this morning, among my notifications to deal with, was what I can only described as a typical TERF, anti trans question about my right to a female passport. Not that its any of her business, but I politely explained that I qualified on grounds of length of time living as a woman, hoping that would satisfy her. Nope! Came back saying it shouldnt be allowed pre op, so just as I was about to just give up following her, I read the last line, in which she claimed she wasnt transphobic! When I stopped laughing at that last comment I checked, and yes, she’d already stopped following me, but of course I have no idea when she did so! So yes, I’ve blocked her, just to be safe.

I know, maybe I should feel sorry for her, it might all be a mental health issue, for all I know? But its no one I know, she lives nowhere near me, so what can I do?

I know, the whole world is full of strange people, just wish a few less were attracted to me, but anyway…?

OK, video time. Back to the old system, blog title is same as song title, what can I say?

What do we need?

According to the video, its a great big melting pot (though not the group you’re expecting?), but there are times when I think even if humanity agreed on that issue, you’d still get some that would argue about the size, colour, and probably the gender of said pot! yes, its one of those days when I feel like screaming at some of the more extreme transgender activists, but then they’d probably say I dont count, that I’m Intersex! Seriously, to quote another song, you’d think the LGBT community would want to stick together, especially in these times, but that is far too easy for some.

Being honest, one of those trend things I always dread on Twitter, ironically, is Trans Ally. Why, because it generally means we are under attack from some right wing group, or it means that some poor ‘snowflake’ of a Transgender person has taken exception to the realities of life being pointed out to them. Today, thanks to the SNP (Scottish Nationalist Party), we got a bit of both. Part 1 was care of 3 MSP’s posting on Social Media, complaining about the fact that Trans people should be treated to equal rights in Scotland. Not really much to ask, in truth, but too much for some, clearly! Most other MSP’s quickly came down on them, though I doubt it will change their views.

Part 2 relates to the forthcoming Census in Scotland. It seems the form will only give options for male, and female, and not any non binary options. Now, I’m elderly, and understand the practicalities of these things, and besides that, despite being Transgender, in Transition, my passport, and all other paperwork says I’m female, so I’m sorry, whenever, and wherever I’m asked my gender, I’m female, matter solved. Thing is, the younger generations (especially the newest ones) arent obliging, and expect everything in the world to fulfil their desires. Sorry, the real world isnt like that, and I dread to think what some of them would have done if they grown up 20 years ago, for example, and all people like myself went through.

So yes, the inevitable combustion blew up, and all sorts of insults, and threats have been thrown by said activists, at those not letting them have their way. Rattles from prams have nothing on them, lol. And of course in these days, with a bit of stirring thrown in by the Christian right, who think anyone who isnt in a traditional man and woman relationship, or desired to be in one, clashes with a group of young activists who think otherwise should be the case, it all gets explosive.

Dont get me wrong, I’m proud to declare as Transgender, though far too many of these young activists drive me to despair. As I also mentioned, strictly I’m Intersex, I have that man bit (that doesnt work sexually), but I also have the less visible womb too, so technically I’m as much a woman, as a man, anyway. And yes, today, in despair, and to some degree jokingly, I asked what I need to do physically to declare as Intersex, not Transgender, because then I might feel slightly more inclined to let the Trans Activists just get on with it, and I’ll just be a nice Intersex women instead. I guess its just down to declaring myself as Intersex, and then spending 10 minutes explaining it to each person who asks for details as to what that means, but there are times when I think that might still be easier! Not that getting the ‘bits bobbed’ actually solves that issue, as I still lived the first part of my life as a man, and the later part as a woman, but its tempting, assuming I am medically retired by the seizures (seems likely), but I’m still allowed the hormones, and surgery (no idea?) after them? If anyone knows that last answer, please let me know!

Of course, in an ideal world, we’d have a great big melting pot, and everyone of various race, gender, and sexuality could just get on with their lives without any of these issues! But fine, thats far too easy.

Video, no, not Blue Mink. I found a live performance by Boyzone, so lets go with that, as I cant find anything but mimed ones by Blue Mink

 

n social media, from those who think anything but a relationship between anyone but man and woman is a mortal sin, and that all LGBT people should go to hell, clashing with a bunch of young Trans people who think they should get special 

That was unexpected

It seems that today, here in the UK, there was something happening other than another vote on Brexit. No, the result of that definitely wasnt unexpected, lol. As to the result of the blood tests I had earlier today, I cant comment on how expected they are, as I wont get them until next week. The one thing I hadnt quite expected, but had thought might be the case, was the fact I needed a taxi to get me to and from the surgery today (Ella was busy elsewhere) rather than being able to walk there, as I’ve done previously. Its a fair way (nearly a mile), but nothing I wouldnt have been able to do, with a bit of effort, pre seizures. Ah well, and another medical look that suggests going back to work is an unlikely option. Talking of which, got a lovely ‘get well’ card from work arrived this morning too.

Oh fine, getting to the point, the event today was a Transgender Health Conference, which was pretty much discussing just how young children should be able to begin to transition. Fine, so I knew by the age of 6 that trying to be a boy wasnt working out. Then again, I’m not strictly transgender, I’m intersex, as I already have bits belonging to both genders. But yes,for ease in explanation and stuff, I’m transgender. Thats hard enough to explain to some, let alone getting into the area of Intersex!

My personal opinion? I dont think anyone should, or should be expected to conform to a gender pre puberty. Hey, thats when hormones really kick in, and give good clues on the matter. But I know, convenience, and conforming with the gender game, cant wait that long, can we? Unlike her, I do think there are transgender people, but convincing me that someone transgender, not intersex really knows that, pre puberty, well…?

Anyway, someone was having their say on Twitter, along the lines of whichever ‘bits’ you’re born with, thats your gender. Anyway, feeling sore, having been stabbed with needles for blood earlier that morning, and feeling mischievous, I asked what happened if you were born with both sets of ‘bits’, like me? I got a nice surprise, she knew that made me intersex, not a ‘gender of convenience’ person as she sees many transgender people, and it pretty much came down to the fact that I should live in the gender I feel comfortable in, which of course I do.

No, we didnt go away following each other, one way, or both, on Twitter, but I guess it shows that if you act in an adult manner, pre conceptions can be proved wrong, I’m delighted to say.

Video time. I’m sure I must have used this before, but I wanted something with an apt lyric line, and its a much under rated Squeeze song, so…

PS Sunday is Transgender Day of Visibility, supported by both Transgender, and Intersex people, hopefully everywhere?

Does it matter if its black or white?

Despite what I might have had you thinking, there is actually something else happening on March 15th, other than my dancing girl moment at the Blackpool Film Festival. For far more people in the UK, the more important event that day is Comic Relief. Actually, I’m missing out on something fun related to that at work, as on the Wednesday, it seems its going to be one of those dress up opportunity days,  of the Superhero/heroine kind. Yes, I’ll miss it, as I’m off all week, due to it being the week of my Birthday, Cheltenham Racing Festival, and said Blackpool Film Festival, all of which work as good reasons for me not to be stuck at work that week. As it is, the only day I’ll see much (if any) of the racing is the Tuesday, as Wednesday is Flotation Tank day, Thursday afternoon, I’ll be travelling to Blackpool, and Friday, I’m sure I will be doing something!

Seeing as how I’m such a quiet, shy soul (stop laughing), I did have a couple of colleagues ask me who I would have dressed up as, if I’d been there, and I ended up coming up with a couple of fairly staid options, Supergirl, or Batgirl/woman. Fine, if I could have found a latex Bat…. outfit, it wouldnt necessarily have been that tame, but besides that. I might actually have been tempted to go for a female version of Iron Man, though the mask would make taking calls a bit of a challenge!

(PS If anyone wants to provide me with a Superheroine outfit to wear, and post a picture of me wearing it, to raise money for charity, let me know? Breast cancer charity preferred, but open to all suggestions)

Fine, for my International readers at least, let me explain the process behind Comic Relief. Its a televised charity campaign, designed to raise money for those less fortunate than ourselves in Africa. And in the days prior to Social Media mass advertising, it probably worked just fine. Trouble is, nowadays, as some might know, an awful lot of those so called celebrities (who I’ve never heard of) are more interested in making sure there are numerous pictures of them on Instagram, and other Social Media outlets, so that they can be seen in a positive light. I’m sure some of them actually do focus more on the work that needs to be done, than Social Media, but there are exceptions.

The one that came up earlier this week, was a woman called Stacey Dooley, who apparently won one of those celebrity TV dance shows, who seemed to be more concerned on getting her pictures up on Instagram, than doing any actual good deeds. And yes, according to some, they’re photo-shopped too! Yes, of the kind of picking up a cute African baby, having her picture taken with him, then put him down again! Under any normal circumstances, I would have just ignored her piece of ego boosting, but unfortunately, a black Labour MP couldnt do so. He complained about this piece of white celebrity ego massaging, and in truth, I couldnt argue with him on that! Thing is, it seems Comic Relief offered him the chance to go to Africa, and do a piece, both before, and after this, and he turned them down both times. Which probably shows he was only creating the row to raise publicity too!

So yes, in truth, I end up with no sympathy for either party, and wont be giving to Comic Relief, not that I have any money to do so, anyway. Maybe its a good thing I’m only a modest standard actress, and not a celebrity, lol?

Right, video time. What seemed a very apt Michael Jackson video, just maybe? This is the short version, and its still nearly 6 and a half minutes!