Category Archives: Stepford

Power, to the people we want to be

I know, ideally I would have written this on Friday, but like most things in this world, everything cant be perfect! Yes, Friday was International Woman’s Day, something that I wish that one day, like Pride, like Transgender Day of Remembrance, we dont need to celebrate, to make a point to some. Not because its not worth celebrating, it is, but that the need wont be relevant any more.

To be fair, things are a lot better now than they used to be for women, and I mean in terms of events far more recent than the freedom to vote, which of course we recently celebrated the centenary of. Over the decades, birth control, wage equality, and other various issues have been solved, or at least made an awful lot better for women than they were when I was young.

Of course, this is coming from the woman who would love to be the ‘Stepford’ housewife of the 1950’s, running the perfect marital home, and a dream cook to boot. Yes, seriously, I would need the robotic housewife makeover to be able to do all that, believe me. Mind, back then, I would have been able to retire at 60, which might have been handy, given my back gave out at 59 and a half (well, close enough)!

Not that I will be around to see it, but when the women starting out on their working lives now, reach my age, things will be more equal for them. There was actually an IWD event in Huddersfield yesterday that I got an invite too, and a possible chance to make a speech too, but unfortunately it clashed with the 1 Saturday in 5 that I have to work, but hopefully it works better next year, even assuming my back still allows me to work by then! I’ve heard it was popular, which was good news for me at least.

Right, just to let you know, as I will be doing on the other blog too. I’m off the next week (20th is next day I’m working), and with Blackpool, schedule might get a bit erratic during that period. You might get more (if events need it), or, at the end of the week, you might miss out on them too. But tomorrow, and maybe the next 2 days, you suggest suitable material, I’ll write about it, with the obvious exclusion of UK related politics at least! No, I dont expect any suggestions, but…?

OK, video time. The Eurovision song from 1973, in fact! So, power to all my friends, especially female ones, cisgender, trans, or non binary. Fine, every woman, lol! No, I dont mean in the voltage sense, but if anyone is offering…? 😉

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Apple Pie, anyone?

Yes, a bonus blog, make the most of it! Well, unless I decide not to bother tomorrow night, in which case we’re level, anyway. Yes, its one of those ‘days’ today, it seemingly being National Pie Day. Well, I had a Fisherman’s Pie tonight, if that counts? In truth, it probably doesnt, as there is not a flake of pastry involved, and lets face it, for most people, thats what really makes a pie. Oh, and fine, that was a ready meal, out of a pack. What do you think I am, the perfect housewife, lol?

Of course, if anyone wants to send me to the Stepford School for creating the perfect housewife, count me in. Yes, I know, I’d enjoy being turned into the robot version of the perfect 50’s housewife far too much! And yes, in truth now, thats probably about the only way I could be a perfect housewife ever again, the robot upgrade, as my physical health is now certainly not up to basic things like cutting up vegetables and the like, and after nearly 20 years, the concept of me cooking anything from scratch is pretty much zero, anyway.

Pie is one of those strange things, that comes in so many guises. You get those savoury pastry covered pies, filled with meat and vegetables, and at the same time, sweet pastry clad pies, containing fruit, for desserts. You also get those pies that never get to see pastry, settling for a potato based topping, and nothing more to keep the ingredients in place. Strictly, you can have a savoury mince pie, and a sweet mince pie, even in the same meal, though of course they’re a different type of mince in each of them. And no, I couldnt tell you the last time I created a pie myself, though I have heated up a few of those that were ‘made earlier’, generally by a handy baker, or supermarket!

As I say, I’d love to be ‘transformed’ into the perfect cook, and housewife, but it would definitely take a miraculous, or Stepford makeover for that to happen nowadays. The latter might be better, as at least I might get a new robot body capable of doing all that chopping, cutting, and other preparation stuff, that I currently havent got a clue about.

As you might have got the joke, the thing that Stepford Wives used to be famed for, was their apple pies, which explains the title of the blog. And of course, if they made it, it would be bound to be perfect. Robotically perfect, some might say. Which explains the choice of video…

Will you still love me tomorrow?

Well, if that doesnt give away the song, and the occasion, then I dont know what will! Which version, and there are many, you’ll either have to look at the video, the tags, or both!

Yes, tomorrow is that supposedly most romantic date on the calendar, Valentines Day!. Apart from one gift from a friend, who I was pretty sure didnt really mean it (in hindsight, and from details someone else discovered about her, she definitely didnt), I havent had anything from a Valentine this century! No, I’m not going to name, or shame said woman, who was never more than an online friend, in case you were wondering! A few might know her, it was more than a few years back, but most wont!

So, in truth, the chance of anyone still loving me tomorrow, is pretty much zero, or less. Fine, its probably for the best now, I’ve probably grown horribly independent now, doing pretty much what I want to do at all times, so the idea of coming to mutual agreement on such matters now, would be nigh impossible. Oh, and all that besides, if I get involved, it may well mean a need for a certain form of surgery, and I’m trying to avoid more imminently needed pain, without adding to the pain by having my bits ‘bobbed’ and stuff like that, lol.

But fine, if ever there are a pair of days when it hurts to be single, this is the first one, and then there’s tomorrow! So yes, I suspect the only way I could now make a good wife/partner, would be if someone arranged me to go to the ‘Stepford School For Good Housewives’, but fine, I would enjoy that, given the chance!

Otherwise, I guess I’d better just get on with being an old maid, until 13th February 2019, at least, lol! Mind, if someone is feeling suitably crazy, or there’s a mad scientist out there that fancies customizing his ‘perfect wife’, well…? No, dont have any great expectations, somehow!

The Shirelles were the group that made this song famous in the first place, and my personal pick would be a catchy version by Middle Of The Road, which I cant find on You Tube! So, lets settle for a version sung by the person who should know the song best, as she co-wrote it!

If You Want To Put A Ring On Me?

I know, highly unlikely, but there might be someone out there with a desire for a different type of woman, but anyway…I know, I know, but…I’d love one of these on my finger!

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-288

Might be the only way that my current skills could make me the perfect wife, for sure. And yes, you’re right, I’d love the whole Stepford Wife thing, willingly, or not! Fine, with me, its very willingly, but…sadly these rings arent real! I know, some men might have issues with having to wear the other ring, but if you can find a loophole for that, fine by me! Just dont expect me to have children, but thats an age issue, as well as a physical one at present! Mind, I do have a womb, though undeveloped, but I still dont think the ring is that good, lol!

But yes, the Stepford style cooking skills would be an absolute boon, and hey, if it does make me maternal, there are always step kids, or adoption, I guess? Dont worry, I’m not expecting to be flooded with offers over this. Not even expecting a puddle, in all honesty! But is it wrong, that I fancy the idea of a ring like that? I know, many feminists would say yes, but sorry, I love it.

Dont get me wrong, I want to be a Stepford, fifties style wife, who is happy using modern technology, rather than a true 50’s wife, but I guess, if the latter was on offer, I’d probably give it a go. Yes, might as well have the benefits of being a wife today, as well as living my life in Stepford style obedience to my partner.

But fine, sadly, those rings dont really exist, shame! Mind, a man who would want me as a wife probably doesnt exist either, lol! Yes, I do wish they did, the rings for sure, the man, well, maybe? 😉 No, I’m not expecting a flood of offers, either partners, or rings!

OK, tonights video. No, not the most high quality recording of all time, but hey, its fun, and silly, bit like the concept of tonights blog! And yes, its one of those tracks I shouldnt love, but I do, even without the influence of that ring!

Who, me, the perfect 50’s housewife?

One source of amusement, and amazement to me, is that there is one lovely gentleman I know, who thinks I can make the perfect wife for him, and the perfect mother for his children. Yes, I know, stop laughing! Thats right, me who has barely cooked in many years (apart from pre-packaged meals), and who has never had children in her life, and besides which, despite the loud shouts in my profile, and everything else, I’m not entirely convinced that he has taken in that this woman comes with a probably undesired extra bit! Fine, he might be the one that I get rid of that bit for, but we will have to wait and see on that. More likely, I suspect, that once he finally gets the message I’m trans, will probably disappear as fast as the last one did, once he finally got the message! But maybe I’m wrong, who knows? Maybe he knows, and loves me despite that? Yes, I know…

The silly thing is, despite the thousands of miles between us, and everything (he’s in California, a bonus for me!) else, I have sort of fallen for him too. I know, its a silly thing to do, but chatting with him, and leaving messages for him, I enjoy doing it! Yes, I might actually enjoy marriage, motherhood, and being a housewife with him, it has to be said. Thing is, for whatever reason, I’m not convinced how well I’d pass on any of those 3 subjects.

First, after 16 years, I’m hopelessly independent, so having to consider what others want to do, before actually planning anything, could be interesting. Secondly, I have no idea in the slightest about being a mother, and two kids (currently 10 and 7) might make for an interesting challenge. Thirdly, yes, fine, my cooking skills are very rusty, as probably are my general housekeeping ones too. But fine, I’m sure, with time, I could get the grip on these things again.

Yes, I’d love to be the perfect mother, and wife, probably of the 50’s style, when the man was boss, and the woman did as she was told! Yes, fine, I’m very submissive in nature, I’d love that! Pretty much summed up by these 2 delightful pictures that Stacie, and I found online

kitchen bliss

doughnuts

Now if there was a Stepford School of Housewifery, I’d be in heaven! Even more so, if they turned me into a genuine Stepford wife, but enough of that!

As I say, my feeling is its all going to end sometime soon, when he realizes I’m not a natural woman, and this whole matter will be irrelevant. i’d love to be wrong, become a bride, and live in California, but cant see it in more than my dreams! Wonder if I can find a metallic silver bride’s dress lol? No, dont wait for the wedding invites, mind!

But for now, well, if anyone knows of any ‘interesting ways’ to turn me into the perfect wife, and mother, please let me know, I’d love the upgrade, regardless.

The video, fine, I wouldnt play this if there are children anywhere around. Lets just say it includes moments of a very good drag queen, doing her Stepford thing.