Category Archives: Back issues

Georgia on my mind?

About the only blessing of being unable to get through a whole day at work yesterday, because of my back flaring up badly again, was the fact that I got the chance to catch some of the Par 3 Tournament at the Masters, from Augusta, Georgia. In truth, seeing the actual coverage of the event only started at 8 pm my time, I would have been home in time for most of it anyway. Yes, the program started about an hour earlier, with the presenters just talking, but anyway, I survived all of that!

When I was young (mid – late teens or so), I was actually a reasonable golfer, think I got to a 12 or 13 handicap at one point. Not good enough to do anything major, but at least I could have a decent walk around a course without having to wander off into the rough too often! After that point, I started getting more involved in cricket, and I started to play less, and less, until I reached a point where I just didnt play any more. 20 years or so later, I was playing what the US people call Par 3 golf (UK folk probably know it as pitch & putt) for fun for a while, and while the basic skills were still there, its fair to say that my body meant much of the talents had receded, not helped by various injuries, arthritis, and the like. Now, with my back gone, I wouldnt even try any more, though in truth, its been a few years now, anyway.

All that meant though, that I’ve tended to follow golf over the years, to some degree or another. More so back then when I was playing a bit, than now, though I still watch some, and unless there is baseball on, I will probably watch the final round of the Masters on Sunday, for sure.

But yes, on the Wednesday, before the big event gets started, Augusta has this sweet little par 3 event, which seems to be played by a selected number of the tournament players, past champions who will, and wont be playing the main event (because of age), and randomized others! The others are mainly relatives of the players, usually children, but not always.

Anyway, when I was a young ‘woman’, one of the players I grew up loving to watch was Tom Watson. Always seemed a nice guy, though in truth, he was probably as competitive as the rest of them! Still, if I say that now, he’s one of those that no longer plays in the event proper, due to his age, it shows we’re all getting old! Amazingly, less than a decade ago, he was runner up in the Open, at the age of 59, and nearly won it!

Still, the story is, last night, despite age, despite everything, every putt he hit seemed to drop, whatever the distance, and some were lengthy. Yes, he won the whole event, though I suspect that some of today’s players dont try too hard, partly not to risk injury, partly as they’re just having fun, but anyway… There is 1 strange jinx, no player who has won the Par 3 event has won the Masters in the same year. Its going to happen at some point, but not this year, for sure!

But yes, for an old lady like myself, it was lovely to see the likes of Watson, Player, and Nicklaus doing so well in the tournament. We all grow old, and weary, but seemingly some less than others! Congratulations, Tom, enjoy the moment.

Yes, the video tonight is the blindingly obvious one, given the blog title. A live performance by the late, great, Ray Charles

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You make me feel brand new

Its funny, isnt it, but misfortune can be a wonderful thing.

I must admit, when my right knee gave way under me about 6 weeks ago, I feared the worst. Well, I see it as the worst at least, because I’m not a fan of surgery if I can help it nowadays, in the slightest! Too much when I was growing up I think, just put me off the idea nowadays. I’ll openly admit it, its probably one of the reasons I havent rushed to have the sex reassignment surgery done, is the thought of all that pain, and stuff afterwards. But yes, having been warned many years ago that I was a certainty to need knee replacement surgery, probably sooner than later, I sort of thought it was probably inevitable after that. Well, it probably still is at some point in the future, but not for now.

One of the blessings of where I work (those that need to know, already know, those that dont, well lets just say its a wonderful place) is that we have something called an Occupational Health Scheme. After the problem occurred, I discussed it with them, and said, as I thought at the time, that realistically there was only going to be one outcome to this, surgery. Not unreasonably, they thought I was probably right. However, between us, in our wisdom, and given that the NHS would probably have asked me if I’d done so first, we decided to take a chance on a course of physiotherapy before doing that.

Net result, 6 weeks later, my right knee is probably in the best condition its been in for decades, let alone weeks, or years. Simple exercises that even an ‘old crock’ like me could do with ease, some ultrasound on the joint, and fine, something I loved, that most probably wouldnt, some electrotherapy! I think I amused the therapist by enjoying voltages that most people would suffer having done to them, but anyway…Fine, must be that inner robot in me, lol! 😛

And yes, there has been running jokes about plugging me into the mains and the like, snag for them is, I just say “Yes please, how soon?” when they do! Yes, we have talked about things like the stories I write and stuff, so she does know!

Lets just say I thought it might help a bit, but wasnt expecting this much improvement. Another blessing is, the electricity has at least awakened the circulation in my legs, so my feet are getting more blood flowing to them (We did one electro session on left knee, rather than right, to improve both legs), and look a lot more pink, and are a lot less sore than before.

I asked, and was told that something could be done for my back too, and fine, I’m tempted. Even though its a private clinic, and I really cant afford to pay it myself currently (would need about £200, I guess, for same number of sessions?), I’m thinking about it. And no, not just because I’ll feel even more like a robot if I have electricity zapping up and down my spine (not sure if they could, electricity near heart?), but if it was going to make that dramatic an improvement, well…? Sadly, unless I have a relapse (which I pray I dont!) with my back, I dont think I can pull that one now with Occupational Health lol, so I wouldnt have to pay.

No, I’m not going to name the clinic here. Lets face it, if you’re close enough to Huddersfield that you want to know, ask! If not, you’re not going there anyway, lol! But yes, lets just say they’ve made my knee feel ‘brand new’, now if I save a few pounds, if they can do the same to my back, then Betcha by golly wow! Yes, those of an age, and when you see the video will get that comment. If not, just look up their singles list!

Fine, video time. Big clue in the title, but given I was only 15 when this song came out, it might be too old for many to know it. Just enjoy, and lets say I could easily have girl crushed on the singer with the high pitched voice!

Here Comes The Snow Again

No, dont worry, it was nothing significant today when I woke up, and though we’ve had a few snow showers during the day, it still hasnt amounted to anything dramatic. Yes, I hope its the same when I get up in the morning, though if you believe the so called weather experts, I might be disappointed. They do say the worst day will be Thursday, when thankfully I dont have to leave home, but I wouldnt mind even that being something that doesnt come true.

To show how slight it was up here, the buses kept running, no issues. And lets face it, they are more than happy to stop running at the slightest excuse. Yes, I walked through snow on the way to Physio this morning, though such an insignificant amount that even a ‘frail old lady’ like me could cope with it, very easily. To be fair, I think its been worse down south, than up here, but believe me, I have no desire to go and investigate that.

Therefore I was surprised when I reached the Physio clinic this morning, to hear that I was the first to turn up for my appointment. Yes, there should (probably) have been 3 ahead of me, and the 1 behind me had cancelled too. Yes, there was snow on the ground, but no, it wasnt slippery out, and the roads were clear, as per the fact that the buses were all running around town.

Of course, to be fair to those people, as the clinic said, most, if not all of those people would have been older than me, and lets face it, you have to have some level of frailty to be going for Physio in the first place! Still…?

I have to admit, in advance of my last treatment next Tuesday, that I can honestly say my knees havent felt as good as they do now, in years. I’d love to say thats just down to the electricity that has got pulsed through my knee, but I’d be lying if I did. Not saying that that, and the ultrasound treatments havent played a big part, but so have the very simple exercises I have to do, as they have definitely strengthened the muscles in both knees that needed it. Oh, and the electrics have definitely made my circulation better, both my feet are pink (or almost pink) again, as blood has started to be forced to flow down to them. The old scars on the right knee are never going to go away fully, but they’re far less noticeable too, for the same circulatory reasons.

Now, if only she could zap my back (or my whole body?) like that…? 😀

But yes, seriously, I’ll be glad when the weather gets a lot warmer, especially for my back. Unless someone wants to buy me a home, somewhere with all year round heat…? No, thought not!

OK, video time. Its the wrong type of weather, technically, but its a gorgeous song, so lets roll with it tonight

Falling apart at the seams

Yes, folks, its official, I either need to be put down, or cybernetically upgraded (robot exoskeleton might do), as another part of me ‘failed’ last night. Well, thats not strictly true, I’ve had issues with my knees for about 50 years now, so this happening isnt a total shock. Especially as this same event has happened before, but not in a long time. But now that I’m literally falling apart, its coming back again lol!

Last night, coming home, I was literally at the gate at home, about to turn in, and the next thing I knew, I was sprawled across the pavement, in a less than glorious heap. Thankfully I fell forward, so no more damage done to the back at least! No, I hadnt had too much to drink (not had alcohol since wedding in September), or anything like that, it was simply a case of my much surgically repaired right knee completely giving way under me!

Dont panic, a minute or two later, I was able to pick myself up, walk through the gate, walk through the door, and be home, safe and sound. Even more ironic, even though I removed about half the skin on my knee, there was no blood! Why, because my circulation in my legs is so poor, there is little blood flowing down there! So yes, cut knee, damaged pride, but no bloody scene. Just what I need on top of everything else.

Yes, its sore, and yes, it hurts, a bit, even 24 hours on, after a reasonably restful day, and work day medications, instead of the lower level I normally get by with, on a day off. No, I wont be running for a bus tomorrow at any point, but I’ll get by, I’m sure. But yes, just what I need, on top of everything else.

The other amusing medical fact this weekend, is that I seemed to catch a cold, or something, in the rain last Tuesday in Haworth. Normally at that point, You’d take Lemsip, or a cheap equivalent, right? Not me, do you know how much paracetamol is in those things? So yes, given that I’m already taking painkillers with that stuff, no go!

Ah well, the ‘joys’ of getting old, I guess? 😦 As I say, someone shoot me, or turn me into a robot, or something, please! I swear it would be for the best lol!…rolls eyes… OK, I’d enjoy the robot bit way too much, but…

The video tonight is a song I dont expect any reader to know. Its 42 years old, it was only a minor hit, and all that. But yes, just seemed rather apt, and provided the blog title too!

Another May in LA

Now, normally when you do a review of the year, and you’re splitting it in two, you’d do two spells of 6 months, right? But when I looked back on my year, it took me about 30 seconds (if that long) to work out that apart from one event in May, not much happened for the first 8 months, then a hell of a lot happened in the last 4! So to avoid a 500 word blog tonight, and a 3000 word one tomorrow, I’m doing this on an 8/4 basis this year.

In truth, the highlights of the first 2 months were getting the news I’d passed probation period at work, and getting my first passport in my new name, and gender. I know, I’d lived about 7 years as a woman before then, but all the same, that was a special moment when it was made official. Oh, and around the same time, my first moments of DWP fame, in a transgender sense, with an interview from work, about life as a Transgender woman in the Department. Which of course led to something that will be mentioned in Part 2, but for now…

No, diplomacy means I’m not mentioning a certain event that happened in the US, in January, but you all know what I think of him, and his actions, so lets leave it there.

Of course, my first flight as a woman, was in May, going back to Hollywood, or more strictly, Los Angeles. Lets just say the whole apartment thing this time around wasnt the success of the previous trip, both in the sense of initially booking an apartment, and then the landlord deciding he wanted to decline the booking, because he hadnt put in his price rise for the New Year. Fine, I thought, until he told me it was done, and suddenly the price had risen by over 20%, nearly 25% in fact! So I started again, thought I’d found somewhere decent as a replacement, but it didnt live up to all its claims. Dont get me wrong, it was nice enough, just didnt have all the facilities it claimed it had.

The funniest moment was a delightful Thai takeaway I had found 18 months earlier, and the lady still remembered me the moment I walked in, despite that. Its sad to think that by the next time I visit, she will almost certainly be gone, as it will be a few years before I get there again (unless I get a role offer), and I doubt she was that young this year, so…but she was amazing!

The other big highlights that will stick with me, would be 2 Louise Brooks silent films, viewed at the historic Egyptian Theater, a guided Hollywood walk given by a wonderful lady that I like to see as a friend, a ‘better than I would buy’ seat at a Dodgers game, thanks to another friend, with the added bonus of it being a game that Kershaw pitched at! Lastly, there was a wonderful Harlow display at the Hollywood Museum, which was a delight to see. Oh, and thanks to the Metro, getting to Santa Monica far easier than ever before!

In truth, I have no idea when I’ll be back, unless I get an offer, which I would have to say is pretty unlikely. But never say never… Certainly, due to something that will be mentioned shortly, walking up the hill to where Harlow rests at Forest Lawn would probably be beyond me now, but anyway…

In July, 2 things happened, one good, one bad. The good one was, that knowing that Clara Johnson’s middle initial was E, and finding a few images of a chorus line dancer/Goldwyn Girl, and putting two and two together, when you find a dancing match, named Elaine Johnson, who has a career that seems to tie in to Clara’s, well I jumped on the issue, and joy, actually found 3 pictures of her from a credited movie promotion shoot. Of course I cant be 100% sure its one and the same, but enough coincidences for me to say it is. In fact, as you’ll find out tomorrow, this isnt the end of that story! Yes, a few new pictures, wow! I’d still love to find her married name, so I’d have a chance of paying my respects if, and when I get back to LA.

The bad thing, my back, after giving me support for about 59 years, decided it had had enough, and snapped. Quite literally, though not in too severe a way, fingers crossed. Yes, osteoporosis had taken its toll on me! Painkillers, and other meds (been tweaked a couple of times) keep it bearable, but yes, its fair to say old age is beginning to catch up with me. It eventually led to me cutting back to 4 days a week at work, with which I can just about get by financially, but holidays will need to be cut back on now, for sure.

August marked 1 year in the new job, and in truth, apart from a dream acting offer, I cant see me leaving before I get to retire in just over 6 years time. Yes, I really am that old lol! The rest of the year, and a few landmarks, tomorrow!

Right, the video. One of the few modern groups I have much time for, are The Killers. I now love them even more now I know that each Christmas, they record a song, and give all royalties to charity! This is the 2013 song, which is apt given where I was in May, and even more so when you see something I post tomorrow!

Turning Marion Davies

Oh fine, I suspect that with the exception of maybe a small handful of people, if that many, the title is lost on my readers. Dont worry, I will explain, and even the video has a clever connection too!

I trust by now that all my readers know I’ve got osteoporosis related back issues, which leads me to take painkillers (of a decent level), and use a gel on my back, to help keep the pain down. Fine, they are also aided by a back brace corset, that I might use as much for the corset like effects, as the back pain effects, but fine, it helps with both, OK?

Anyway, today was the day to visit the surgery, discuss the situation, and see where we go from here. Basically, just as I thought things were getting a little better, and that maybe I could ease up slightly on the meds, winter struck! No, not Alaskan style, but cold enough for the temperatures to get down to the low 20’s, which did my back no good whatsoever, even with the brace! Outcome of that, for the winter at least, some more tablets to take, not less! Still, if it helps with my condition, no complaints from me! Well, fine, the cost of 2 prescriptions, instead of 1 isnt great when you’ve cut back on your working week, but anyway…

Oh fine, why Marion Davies, I hear you asking!

On a truthful, but none too serious basis, my nurse suggested that I move somewhere a lot warmer for the winter than Yorkshire! Actually, if practical, would make a lot of sense, given the heat would obviously do my very sore joints the world of good. Yes, true, as I discovered in September, when I was away. Benidorm was her suggestion, mine unsurprisingly was California, though in truth, neither are going to happen in my current financial position, unless…?

Back in the 1920’s, a certain young film star, and a wealthy newspaper magnate got together, though they never got married. Why, because said newspaper magnate was already married, and his catholic wife wouldnt divorce him. So arrangements were agreed, and William Randolph Hearst, took Marion Davies as his partner, and courtesan. Yes, wife in every sense but one. To be honest, he didnt do her movie career any favors, she was a great comic actress, he wanted her to play more serious roles, and given he had the money, and the power…Seriously, consider checking out one of her silent, comedic roles, and enjoy. ‘The Patsy’ is my personal favorite, for the impersonations she does, but any available will be a treat.

I know, I’m not a film star, and I doubt any newspaper magnate would ever be attracted to me, but besides all that…If there is some wealthy person who wants me as their courtesan (I’m bi, if that helps?) somewhere warm/hot, ideally with connections to movie/theater roles, or who has a robot fetish, who wants to help heal my back with some heat, let me know. But put it this way, I wont die waiting, no expectations on that front, lol! But fine, anyone prepared to pamper, and look after a lady, in need of some heat in her joints, anywhere would be fine! No, again, I dont expect to get crushed with offers!

Right, the video. There is actually a Marion Davies connection in this. Kirsten Dunst actually played her in a movie, ‘The Cat’s Meow’ about an incident that happened on Hearst’s luxury yacht in the early 20’s. This video is a fine example of the strangeness of life in Japan, I guess?

Waiting for the train that never comes!

And no, for once, its not Trans Pennine Express! No, this time its the tale of a Northern Rail fail, and other events yesterday.

Saturday is the only morning where I need to get to get the train to get to work. Earlier start, plus public transport is a bit more limited early on a Saturday morning, so…Into Huddersfield station, train supposedly on time, all looking good, you’d think? Even less of a shock, the Trans Pennine Express services looks a mess, but nothing new there!

Thing is, I look out to the platform where the train should be, nothing there! Not a first, this is 10 minutes before its due to leave, assume its just waiting to pull into the platform. No, it wasnt. There were a couple of Northern Rail people stood near the platform, not looking like they knew what was going on, never a good sign. Well, time for the train to leave came, still no sign of it. 5 minutes after its due to leave, still no sign of it. So given my total lack of faith in Northern Rail, I headed off, and got a slightly later bus to Bradford. Only just gets me in the office by 9, but anyway…I got to Bradford Interchange, and apparently it had finally left Huddersfield, but was going to arrive 22 minutes late! Me, I got there 10 minutes before then! Seemingly left about 8.15, 25 minutes late, as a work colleague had the misfortune to wait for the train to arrive.

Funnily enough Northern Rail had a staff strike on Wednesday, trouble is, it might have been hard to tell the difference in service provided! And no, sadly, this isnt a first! But anyway…

There was something else waiting for me at work when I got there, my new chair. Specially designed for an old crock like me, due to my back issues. Yes, its nice, and yes, I noticed the difference at the end of the day too. No, it shows no signs of shocking, or brainwashing me, but hey, a girl cant have everything lol! 😛

Right, video time. In tribute to a rail company that cant provide the service its meant to (and despite that, in 2 months time, they will hoist up fare prices!), a group that were also waiting for a train that never comes!

We can rebuild her?

Oh, I wish they would, but I suspect more boringly, they’re just going to try to patch me up, and see how it goes from there. But a woman can dream lol…Is anyone old enough to remember thats a line concerning the original Bionic Woman? I have no idea if they repeated it for the revival, as I never saw any of that.

So yes, its now official, to no surprise from me at least, that the bone density in my back, and hips has officially been described as low. How low? Not quite sure, but as the nurse virtually suggested putting an IV of Calcium into my body makes me think its not good, at all.

Anyway, end result of all this, involves another trip to a Hospital, albeit this time, the one in Huddersfield, for blood tests. Yes, blood tests, seemingly lots of them! If there is a blood test I’m not getting done, other than HIV, I havent spotted it. I only remember the last time that someone tried to get blood out of me, for a test, they struggled to find a vein to take one, so hope that goes better this time, as I have no desire to look like a pin cushion! Mind, if instead of taking blood, they want to inject me with some strange silver serum lol…? 😉

Of course (I wish!) the reason for all these blood tests might be something interesting? After all, if they were going to cybernetically upgrade me, or give me the Bionic Woman treatment, they would want to check all my physical matters beforehand, wouldnt they? 😉 Oh fine, I know its not likely to happen, but I can dream, until Tuesday at least! Yes, I would love that, absolutely!

Anyway, related to all this, the ‘old lady’ has accepted the inevitable, and the request to make the 4 day week a permanent arrangement has now gone in at work. I’m also putting next year’s holiday plans on hold for a few months, until I see how the financial position looks, and how much I’m capable of doing while away. I was hoping I could do 2 trips next year, and probably could just about do it money wise, but have decided to take a review on that for now. Well, unless they offer me that Cybernetic upgrade, post blood tests at least, lol.

Right, the video. I’ll pass on the parachute failure, but if they want to rebuild me like the Bionic Woman, a whole different matter! Seriously, this was 40 years ago, eek!

Two out of three aint bad

Well, this is it, last UK blog for a little while, though I’m sure that if you’re good, you’ll get a few from the US, assuming Hurricane Irma doesnt decide to come and visit Cape Cod at least. If it does, all bets are off lol!

If you’re wondering about the blog title, its a ‘witty’ comment on my week. Tuesday, I became an, err, natural blonde again, when I went and had my hair colored around the corner, in preparation for the holiday. Yes, I am joking about the natural bit, if anyone was stupid enough to think otherwise! I will be back there shortly after the holiday is over, for another reason. Due to the wedding, I’ve been trying (mostly in vain) to grow my hair out, in case I need to put it up for the wedding. Well, I still wouldnt call it bounteous, but its more than I normally have. And yes, its beginning to annoy lol. So it will be getting clipped back to a more 30’s length very soon after I get back!

Secondly, yesterday, a lovely lady named Linda did her best (my body is the spoiler, not her skills) to get me in reasonable shape for the trip, and to get my nails looking all pretty as well. In truth, beyond my back, my body actually isnt in bad condition (relatively) at present, due to some suggested knee exercises given to me by the Occupational Health Dept at work. I must admit, I was cynical as to how well they would work, but fine, I’ve been amazed how much better they are, so…

Lastly, and with no thanks to First Buses on this (invisible bus syndrome this morning), I went over to Bradford today, for the bone density scan tests. Yes, I know, dont have to go to Bradford today for work, and still end up going there! I must say the staff at St Lukes were nice, and very efficient, so swiftly dealt with, and on my way again.

Oh, the two out of three bit? Well, it was a radio-logical x-ray, and I was sort of hoping that those beams would do something amazing to my body, and I’d come out looking like a 30 year old version of my past life dancer self, but it never happened. No, I didnt really think it would, but no harm in hoping lol!

Beyond that, most of the stuff I’m taking with me is packed in the case, pretty much anything left out is the stuff I need tonight and/or in the morning. I plan to wear the corset brace in the morning, because I will have to wait at check in, before being put into a wheelchair, and also to offer some support for moving the case along. I plan to get it off before the flight though, its just too warm wearing something made of neoprene for about 12 hours. Maybe I need to lose a few pounds in weight, but thats not a favored way of doing it!

Ah, the wheelchair. Yes, I’m still trying to get my head around the idea that it is wise, fine, and fully permitted for me to have one, but I still feel slightly guilty, all the same. If anyone wants to mentally solve that issue for me, feel free to do so! Yes, I’d enjoy that! 😉

At least there was one other piece of good news today, the swimsuit finally arrived, with the emphasis on finally. I’ll be honest, after 2 false starts, I didnt believe it was coming, even when I had an email telling me it was, until they delivered it at the door. Studio.co.uk are the shambles of a company that I would advise anyone not to ever purchase from!

Right, video time. Going back to the blog title, for one of the lesser known Meatloaf/Steinman songs, that is very apt here.

PS, If anyone does want to put me in a transformation chamber, and make me look like a young Clara Elaine Johnson, or Jean Harlow, feel free to contact me lol!

She wore an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny…

No, if you think I’m wearing a yellow polka dot bikini, you’re going to be disappointed! Not even post surgery, if/ when it happens, lol! 😛 But the video, well, maybe…?

Fine, after the deservedly serious nature of Monday’s blog, lets get a little more fun, if only to allow me to let off some steam.

One issue I have with standard swimsuits for women, and the cut of them, is the fact that they really arent designed for pre-op Trans women, lets face it. Fine if there is only me, or people who know, and no one else, but otherwise, some might object lol! Me, in an ideal world, I’d go with the burkini, because it hides all issues quite nicely, and besides which, I love the design of them. But yes, for a white Trans woman, I’m just concerned that it might cause more issues than its worth, if I got one. And before anyone says anything, I’d be more concerned about white right wing men, than I would from Muslims! Sad, but true.

So in truth, I’d pretty much given up on the whole idea of swimming, or even wearing a swimsuit ever again, but then along came my back issue, that you already know about. Lets face it, one gentle form of exercise that would do me good, involves swimming, or even just walking across swimming pools full of water, working against my back.

Now in a perfect world (joke), some surgeon would immediately offer to remove, err the obstacle to wearing a swimsuit, with no recovery issues whatsoever. In a practical world, it would take time to arrange, and post surgery, it would be a while before you swam again!

There is however, one intermediate option, to get a swimsuit with a skirt! It enables me to swim as a woman, the skirt will hide the obvious issue, sounds good? So yes, I’ve ordered one today. Just hope it arrives before I fly out on holiday, as that will be a good time to wear it. Not just in water, but if I’m relaxing outside, at the place where I’m staying with my friend, if the weather is decent, then perfect! I have another friend (the one getting married) who would probably get me in water too, but I suspect we wont have the time. I suspect the Friday will be lively, in preparation, and I think she should have other plans for the Sunday than me! Then on the Monday, its back to NYC, and home. So…?

So yes, if you’re on Cape Cod in a fortnights time, and see a middle aged woman relaxing, in a cute swimsuit, complete with skirt, it might just be me! Well, unless someone wants to buy me a burkini, because then…? 😉 Just hope it arrives in time now!

OK, video time. Yes, its the obvious song from the title, but not the obvious version. Sorry, Brian Hyland, but… This version actually topped the charts here in the UK in 1990, and its just one of those songs that gets stuck in your head, so apologies!