Seriously, how long?
Yes, today marks a very depressing anniversary for me, its exactly 1 year since I left William Hill, having taken redundancy. I know, I worked 2 weeks in the interim, but to be honest, I’m still trying to forget about that, but anyway…
I’ll admit it, when I decided to leave, I suspected it might be a battle to get a job, but I never imagined it being like this. I know, age was against me, being transgendered would probably be against me, but even so, I thought there would be openings out there, but…here I sit tonight, still battling on, to find another job.
Yes, I’m ready to scream, I admit it.
Thats not to say there havent been some good moments in the last year, 2 trips to Hollywood being among the high points, but the last 4 months, since I got back from 4 weeks out there, pretty hellish, on the whole! Yes, mainly money, or more importantly, the lack of it, has begun to bite hard.
Now fine, I’d love to put all the blame for my lack of job opportunities on my age, or my gender issues, but in truth, a lot of it is probably down to me, and the modern methods used for recruiting staff, which I struggle, at my age, to get my head around. Yes, competency questions are the bane of my life, and however well I practice them at home, once I get asked something slightly different, mid interview, my brain goes pop, and I blow it. I’ll be honest, in the early days, even basic competency questions used to stump me, but I think I’m getting there with those.
Thats not to say that I dont think my age, and probably more critically, my transgendered status hasnt counted against me at times, because it has, I’m sure. The less than fond memory of the job where the emphasis at the interview was on “This is a young office” was a less than subtle clue on one occasion at least. And yes, there’s been a few times, when I have performed well, and not got anywhere, and I’m sure the confusion of a woman, with a male passport (as I had back then) probably counted against me, with some.
I’ve also had other frustrations on money raising fronts. Yes, the clinical research thing, is an obvious that comes to mind. The first time, I was in, but because they couldnt make promises at the time I needed to make the decision about that ghastly job, I took that, and missed out. Second time around, after discovering that my internal genitals are a mix of male, and female bits, that was it!
I’ll be honest, I’m still ignoring sales jobs, especially cold calling ones, as I know my nature wouldnt last weeks in a job like that, let alone years. I’ll be honest, even if I applied, and got an interview, I doubt they’d take me on, I just cant push hard enough for that sort of role. But yes, anything reasonable, I’ll give it a go. Hey, this week I applied for a job, as a Receptionist at a local casino. I dont really expect to hear back, but you never know, I do have experience in the gaming industry, but its hardly that! Be more fun if it was Vegas, or California, but it might be a start?
But fine, I’ll say it again, I’ll try anything now, legal! I know what I said above, but I suspect that if someone offered me a ‘warm’ or ‘hot’ selling role, I’d give it a try! But apply for one, dont think I could. Having said that, I’ve seen these social media retail selling things, and I have my doubts I could do that sort of sales either, so…?
I guess you’re asking, do I now, in hindsight, regret my decision to take the redundancy money, given whats happened? Generally, no. The only reason I could finish at 10.00, in Leeds, and get home fine, was because we were given taxis, but I knew that was being taken away. After that, given the awful punctuality record of Trans Pennine Express, there was no guarantee I would get the last bus home. Which would have meant a 40 minute walk, late at night, or the expense of a taxi, assuming I could get one, especially at weekends. And to be honest, I’d already been considering getting another job, before the money came along, so…
The other reason I couldnt say anything but no? Those 5.5 weeks in Hollywood, over the 2 trips, for starters. Fine, I had a week booked, but if I say that after 5.5 weeks, I still havent done everything in LA that I would love to do, yes, you get my drift? I also met some wonderful people, on both trips, that I wouldnt have done otherwise, and got some very good memories out of it.
But yes, if someone wants to make me an offer, just about anywhere in the world, any legal job, give me a shout. At worst, I’ll think about it, and in truth, if its reasonable, and I think I could do it, I’ll take it. Equally, if there are any William Randolph Hearst’s out there, who fancy a transgendered Marion Davies at their side, yes please. Lets face it, for the right Mr Hearst, I might even get all my genitals made female! I dont fancy the surgery at my age, but if required, then fine, get me booked in!
Alright, before I hit 1000 words, good grief, the video. A bit of Eagles, in tribute to the recently departed Glenn Frey
I’m trying to feel like I dont want to depart too, but its getting hard!
stevielounicks 
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