Yes, I know its been a while since the previous blog, but unfortunately there has been a good reason. Saturday, seemingly I had another seizure. I know, I really could do without them, but such is life that I seem to be stuck with them now. This one was seemingly back to the old formula, I knew nothing about it at the time. It seems I did come round after a short period of time, so was just put to bed to recover (as they were advised), and some time in the middle of Monday morning I finally came around sufficiently to get up. I was apparently woken a few times to check I was alive, and to take my pills, but was otherwise just left to recover.
I took the choice to go up the hospital on Monday, as I was still a bit ‘woozy’ but after a few hours I got cleared, and came home again. I cant say the hospital handled the next step brilliantly, first offering me transport home, only to then eventually be told they didnt do that. Let me say that didnt surprise me, but why offer it in that case?
I did eventually sort out a taxi at the second attempt to get me home, which seemed an excessive fare, but other than that…
Unfortunately all this meant that both the tests that were meant to happen over the weekend never happened, which frustrated me, but such is life, as they will need to be rearranged. Hopefully I dont have to wait 3 months for another MRI, because I think a friend in US will blow his temper if I do. I suspect the EEG will get rearranged after an apology, and explanation though. I have to check with someone for availability to get me there, but otherwise.. Not that its my fault, but all the same…
Oh, and I think thats it for work too. My bosses have been wonderful in giving me time to get things sorted, but my half pay thing runs out at the end of next month, and being practical, after Saturday, I’m not working again anytime soon, so the inevitable is going to happen, thats it. Well I never thought it would end like this, but so it seems… I know, in the old days, I would have retired at 60, so… Ah well, I can get on with considering getting something ‘lopped off’ I guess? I wonder what will be the first location that I will have visited as a guy, a ‘girl’, and as a proper woman? A lot will depend on the date you officially say I was a ‘girl’ lol? If you say its 2002, that takes out most of US (beyond New England), but if its 2009 (official transition) then its more likely US, though ironically not LA (never as a guy). A lot is going to depend when the ‘snip’ happens, I guess?
I must admit, it will be nice to be able to wear a swimsuit, or dress, and not worry about I might be revealing, I must admit. Anyway, thats the depressing news, or however you want to look at it. So on to the video. What I felt when I realised I’d had another seizure, I guess?
Fine, I was going to leave the whole scan thing until the weekend, probably until after the experience on Sunday, but fine, events today lead to a bit of a cheat. I probably will still tell curious readers what an MRI scan is like, after the event, but anyway… Oh agreed, might have been fun to do in a silver bodysuit, given the way you go into the tube, and everything, but anyway, I’m sure the only person who would see me wouldnt get the joke, besides.
When I had the EEG, I was told that the results didnt show much a clue as to where the issue lay as to why I was having the seizures, and that I might have to do a follow up, after sleep deprivation to get more of a clue. But then I got the appointment for the MRI scan, and hadnt heard anything about the follow up, so I assumed it wasnt going to happen, given I’m now only 3 days away from the ‘robotisation’ pod, but I was wrong.
Got a call this morning from the hospital at Halifax that did the EEG, and yes, I do need to do the sleep deprivation follow up after all. Silly thing is, even taking the first appointment available, its the day after the MRI scan! I suppose they can tie the 2 together, hopefully work out where the issue lays in the brain, then focus on that area from the MRI scan. Hopefully after that they can work out what the problem is, assuming they can find a brain, and take it from there.
So yes, the weekend is going to be fun, for sure. I’m going to have to be up slightly earlier than normal on Sunday, to be at the hospital for the ‘robot makeover’ on Sunday morning at 10.15 (I wish), and then Sunday night I have to lose half a night of sleep, so that my mind is ready for brainwashing on Monday morning, at 9.45. I will probably go with the option of waking up in the early hours of the morning (about 4.30 or so), as I think thats the easier way for me, personally. The theory is that disrupting my sleep cycle will make the brain more likely to give clues as to what is wrong up there, fingers crossed. Some people have no sleep the night before this, but I suspect they just want to disrupt my brain, not set off a full blown seizure, but anyway…
Oh, dont get me wrong, the idea of laying down, hopefully sleeping for 2-3 hours, wired up to a ton of electrodes appeals to me totally. If they accidentally brainwash me while doing so, wouldnt that be fun? If they accidentally disrupted my brain so that I came out as a chirpy Oklahoma girl (no prizes who), then that could be interesting! The only shame with not having one of those phones with a camera is that I cant get a picture of me all wired up, ah well!
Hopefully these 2 scans will provide the needed results, and at least, good or bad, I can find out what the brain issue is, and how it will affect the rest of my life. Well, unless its Clara trying to take full control, in which case…, I’m ready for my audition, Mr Berkeley, lol?
As some might have guessed, there is a subject I’d much rather be discussing tonight, but for now, I have to be a good neutral girl on UK politics, so…lol
OK, video time. Its the way I’d love my hair done (once only, probably) but its a similar level of wiring to what I will ‘suffer’ on Monday. Be patient, it does get there
Seeing I promised to throw this piece of hypothesis up to (hopefully) a bigger audience, I’d better be a good girl and do so. Let me add that regardless, its not going to change my view on my status, and also, at this point at least, I must point out that beyond knowing that I have a womb, I have no idea whatsoever as to what the rest of my internal genitalia is, as no one has ever checked beyond that point. So if its discovered I have other boy bits internally, the whole question counts for nothing, but…
Given the whole ‘feminist lesbian’ group, who believe you cant be a woman unless you ‘in every way’ present as a woman, stance (no!), against the whole young Trans Activist thing, who believe that someone who hasnt even reached puberty, let alone the age of consent just be allowed to change gender (equally no!) battle that is going on, I’ve decided to take the ‘easy’ route out, and declare myself Intersex, which strictly I am, but it takes a whole lot more explaining, but anyway…
(For those not up on the matter, it means, in my case at least, that I have the most obvious boy bit at present, but equally I have a womb, which most would say is one of the more obvious women bits, but anyway. As to what else I have in there, probably best I dont know! But the thought that struck me is this, if I only have one boy bit, and I get rid of that, does that actually make me a natural woman?
Given that nowadays they dont actually remove it, just using the flesh to create the vagina, I guess that strictly I wont get rid of it anyway, but equally, if it was meant to be a vagina in the first place…?
Strictly, as I say, it really doesnt matter, all my paperwork says I’m female, even without the bits being bobs, and besides, assuming medical permission for the surgery given things, I plan to get it done, so… But yes, just an interesting thought, if all my bits are then female, does that mean I’ve transitioned, or do I become a natural woman?
So yes, as my dear friend Kiefer suggested, this has to be the obvious song. Just that most people would assume Aretha, so coming out of left field, its Carole King, who actually happened to help write the song, as well as, in this case, sing it.
OK, its a play on words, given what this blog is about, and oh fine, the video too.
I mentioned in the previous blog about the Test Match starting next Wednesday between England, and Ireland at Lords, the first between them. Its too much to hope for a repeat of what happened to the 1966 World Cup winning soccer team, giving they played Scotland, as world champions, and lost. But goodness, wouldnt that be funny.
But before then, there is actually a major sporting event happening in Ireland, The Open, for the first time since 1951 is being held in Northern Ireland, at Portrush. Not that I will be around that far into the future but I hope it doesnt take 68 years to return again.
I was politely asked if I could request an Irish Passport, to get round this whole Brexit thing, but sadly I’m one generation too far away for that. I remember visiting ancestors on my father’s side in Tralee, Kerry when I was a child, though given he left my mother when I was 9, and never saw them again, I have no idea where anyone on that connection of my ancestry is now. Lets face it, its over 50 years since I had any contact, so…
The thing I never remember doing is visiting anyone on my mothers Irish side of the family, ever. Now whether thats because by then there was no one left in Offaly on that side of the family, or if someone, somewhere along the line was disowned, I have no idea. But yes, being of Nicholls extract, from Banagher, living in Haworth has amused me for all of my life. Confused? Look up Charlotte Bronte’s husband, and… clearly I have no idea how strong, or loose the link is, given I’ve never had any connect to that side of the family, but I think its fair to assume there must have been some?
But now, getting back to the golf…I was watching early, and it was mentioned that Shane Lowry’s family would be heading up from Offaly, as he is currently (at time of writing) joint leader in the Open. No, he’s not from Banagher, he’s from Clara, about 20 miles away, but many decades ago, there was a railway line between the 2. Clara is still served by Irish railways, Banagher isnt! In truth, I guess the place I havent visited that I really should have done is Banagher, but not sure I ever will now. Hey, I dont even know if my ancestors were still living there, when they emigrated! I know, Clara’s birthplace county in Oklahoma ranks close second, but…
So yes, I might not have Lowry in any of my fantasy golf teams this week, but wouldnt stop me being so proud if someone from Offaly made it big!
OK, the video is corny, but I had to include something green, lets face it. And besides, flapper wise, was that a speakeasy hidden behind that green door?
Well, the British among my readers at least might have noticed that England won the World Cup Cricket on Sunday, for the first time. But given the first cricket world cup was only in the 1970’s, its slightly fewer years of hurt, but more relevant to me, anyway.
To say it was a crazy game of cricket would be to put it mildly. A tie on the 50 over game, a tie on the 1 over play off, so England won it on the number of boundaries scored in the game! The irony being that the original game was only a tie because the umpires gave England 6 runs for an ‘overthrow’ in the last over, that should only have been 5, because the players hadnt crossed for the extra run at the time, and the fact it accidentally hit the bat of one of the batsmen, and flew to the boundary only made it more crazy.
But then the funny stuff started, all the ‘Little Englanders’ started saying how it proved that England produced all the greatest cricketers in the world. The thing was, as was quickly pointed out to them, one of the players (the captain) was from Ireland, one of the heroes of the team was born in New Zealand, a leading bowler was from the West Indies (and literally only qualified for England weeks before the event), and another was the son of a Muslim immigrant family, you know, the sort of people they generally hate. So more than a third of the team… oh dear! So playing for England, maybe, but of grand English stock, well… oops!
In truth, England’s next cricket match is special for me, its a test match at Lords, against Ireland! To my annoyance, Sky seem to be ignoring this historical moment, only talking about the Ashes series that follows! Ah well… Not that Ireland will win, but we can hope, for now!
OK, video time. I know, the song is about the football team, but could I do better? This seems to be a hastily put together version of the famous song when England started doing well last year, before finally adding to the years of hurt!
I know, two in a row, but lets get them out of the way when I can remember what the blog subject is, OK? Probably nothing tomorrow mind, just saying.
A couple of days ago I saw an article which saddened me, but didnt surprise me, in truth. I dont expect every in my life for there ever to come a time when the LGBT hate percentage reaches single figures, let alone zero. But over the last decade or so, the reported homophobia/LGBTphobia percentage had been going down. The last survey a couple of years ago showing 25% of people being anti LGBT people, from dislike, to downright hate. Too high I grant you, but better than the 34% it was a decade ago. This year, for the first time since 2007, the figure went up, back up to 28%.
Of course the increase may not be a genuine increase, its just that now, with seemingly the whole world swinging further to the right, it might just be that people are more emboldened to say what they really think. It certainly seems the case in the US, and has been so for a while, but now it seems to be growing in the UK too. I suspect, as I say, that some of this is people who never liked LGBT people, but didnt say anything are now opening coming out and showing their hate, though I suspect others are being influenced by social media and friends too.
Especially when you see pieces that show LGBT people infecting others by spraying them with ‘gay water’ and the like, which is comical, but frighteningly, some believe it. There is also the fact that so many LGBT people (notably a group of Lesbians, and young Trans Activists) nowadays believe they literally have to get in the face of straight people to get their message over, rather than polite education.
I dont see what straight people have to worry about in truth. We dont secretly slip potions, or inject people with anything that instantly turns them gay. I hate to break it to the cranks, but it cant be done. Though mind, its believed all people are born bisexual, its just that tradition, and peer pressure means that most believe that boys will date girls, and anything else will destroy the world. Sorry, it wont! But equality, when there is a group of lesbians who wont date bisexual women because they might taint themselves with a date (or more) with a man, what hope is there of putting on a united front?
I know, I’m preaching to the converted, the LGBT haters arent going to read a blog by me, lets face it. But if any read this, just ask yourself why you’re afraid of LGBT people, realise how daft you are, and accept us. No, feel free to be an ally, and no more, thats all we ask.
Of course, if it makes someone feel better about coming out, by thinking I’m twisting your arm, or your mind, with this blog, why not? But I’m not, OK?
Right, the video. most women of my age nowadays, chasing younger men, or women, are known as cougars. But guess what, we used to be called wily old foxes. And yes, who knows, very soon, I might be out there, on the run for a young partner to care for me? Tenuous, but its the excuse for tonights glam rock video, just saying…
The funny thing with some TV commercials is when they get the accompanying music really wrong. Generally its because they see the song title, and dont look into the actual lyrics, or meaning of the song, and see that it causes the whole thing to backfire on them.
There is a car company over here, called Seat trying to sell one of their cars at the moment. Please, I’m a non driver, I have no idea which brand it is, I dont care. Even if I was a driver, I’d be barred now for at least a year because of the seizures, anyway. As it is, I dont drive regardless, but…
They are clearly trying to make their car seem cool, and exciting, so some marketing whizz kid looked at a list of suitable song title, and lo and behold, someone thought Lou Reed’s song, ‘Walk On The Wild Side’ to be right. After all, their car is clearly meant to have a wild side, so perfect.
Of course, as anyone cool enough to know the song, or old enough to remember it coming out, its all about a different kind of wild side. Transgender/Crossdressing, lots of drugs, lots of prostituting style selling of bodies for sex, all of which are perfectly suitable for the selling of cars to families, well…maybe not?
Of course, the sad fact is, that most of their prospective market just think of it being a cool tune to try and sell a car, given the song is now nearly 50 years old! But yes, this ‘Holly/Candy/Carla?’ just finds it rather ironic, and amusing when they are trying to sell a family car.
Yes, I know, almost as ironic as all these American politicians using ‘Born in the USA’ as a patriotic song, I guess?
I wonder when someone is going to start using ‘The Final Countdown’ for an event due in October over here, lol.
Right, the video. Yes, the very obvious song, could I do anything else? Of course, being that old, a true live performance, no go. But at least this version has Holly, Candy, Joe, and a few others included in it, as a touch of history
I guess its fair to say that you never know how you would act if you were famous, until you’re famous, and then see how you act. Therefore, as much as I’d love to say I’d be the same me, famous, or otherwise, it really is impossible to know.
In my life I’ve met famous people that its been a pleasure to know, and thats one of the reasons for the video, because she ticked that box. It was shortly before this video came out, and I have no idea if she’s changed, or not, as I’ve never met her since. I’ve also met some that if I never met again, it wouldnt be long enough.
Its also fair to say, that even in amateur dramatics, its not hard to find divas (of both genders) who thought they were God’s gift to acting, and believe me, most of them didnt live up to their ego’s. A few really did know their stuff, and they knew it, but they really were in the minority.
But those in the world of high celebrity who believe their own publicity, they really can be a pain! To be fair, unlike many, I’ve never been a fan of the Royal Family, but everyone keeps telling me the new generation are better. Snag is, events this week suggest otherwise.
Twice in Wimbledon fortnight, when Meghan Markle has gone there to watch the tennis in the Royal Box, she has sent her security ‘heavies’ to tell people to stop taking pictures of her. The thing is, as both people have promptly pointed out, they werent taking pictures of her, their cameras werent even aimed in her direction. But her ego said that if people were taking pictures around a tennis court, they must have this deep desire to only take pictures of her, and not the tennis players, which is what they were actually doing. One didnt even realise she was there, until she was told of the fact! But her inflated ego…
The funny thing is, in Hollywood, I wouldnt, in truth, recognise a modern day celebrity if they stood in front of me, and probably even if they introduced themselves. It actually happened once, I watched someone perform, very well I might add, but was only told who they were after we’d walked away. My excuse was he was a big name in US, but not in UK, and I’m sticking to it. But he was pleasant, polite, and may ironically have been grateful that I didnt swoon all over him, who knows?
I doubt, that unlike Meghan Markle, I could ever become a diva now, even if I did become famous, I suspect I’d be more the easy going Jean Harlow type, but you can never be sure. But now, I doubt I will ever find out!
I knew people who were working on her debut solo album, and its through them I got to meet Geri Halliwell, for 30 minutes or so. She seemed lovely, about as opposite to Ginger Spice as you could get. So what you see truly may not be what you are getting
Before I get started, I know this is strictly a day late due to medical news, and apologies, but hopefully most wanted to know that news. Strictly, there is no concrete evidence that this happened 72 years ago, but given that someone believes I’m of alien origin (I wish), and that would be the obvious way my relatives arrived on this planet… Seriously, if anyone wants to buy me, or design for me a really good alien costume, then… 😉
(7 July 2019)
Greetings, inhabitants of Planet 3, System X7,
As some of you believe, and we arent actually denying, on this day, 72 years ago, one of our spaceships was forced to land on your tiny planet. We found a suitable landing place near Roswell, New Mexico, and if our pilot had managed to land as planned, we would have used the needed services, then in good time, return to our home planet, in, well, you wouldnt be able to find us if we told you!
But no, in his enthusiasm to get to that strange substance you call beer, he made a bit of a mess of the landing, damaged the ship a bit, and before we could finish repairs, some of your people turned up to check on us. Most helpful they were too, taking us to some site where we could complete repairs far easier than where we’d landed. In exchange, we gave them a guided tour of the ship, explained how once repaired, we’d soon get it flying at 10 times the speed of light yet again, and we would then accelerate away from there.
They invited some of us to stay behind, take in the whole ‘Earth’ experience. As we discovered, they were more interested in what we could do, but we only ever let them know the basics, and no more. When the Captain confirmed that a ship could soon come and collect us as needed, some of us decided to give it a go, after they offered to provide some humans for crew, and experiments, in return.
Some stayed a few Earth years before making the call home to be collected, but others of us decided to settle. Its not difficult, our cloaking devices are several thousand years ahead of anything you might have, (That camouflage you use on military vehicles, seriously?) so…
Yes, one of us born on your quaint planet is actually helping to write this, though I gather she now so despairs of you, she’s requested a transfer back to her ‘natural’ planet, says much for you Earthlings! She says someone has seen through her disguise, though we have no idea how. She also seems to have developed a few health problems which we can quickly cure.
Its amusing how advanced you think you are nowadays, and granted, compared to 1947, you are, though much of that is down to us. But compared to us, well… stone age, darlings!
So, given we need to send a large spaceship to collect one passenger, we’re making a one time offer to join us, far out in the Milky Way. There are a few physical adjustments we’d need to make to you, health checks permitting (some of you even enjoying anal probing, I’ve heard?) to live on your new home, but otherwise…
Just one warning, for those who might be considering it, your new home believes in all sorts of equalities. Oh, and we’re all bisexual, just saying… 😉 But if you fancy that life, reply to this missive, and well, who knows?
I gather I need to add something called a music video. Some think a group called The Carpenters created this song, but they are wrong. A group with a suitably alien name, Klaatu actually did so. Checks census lists…ah, that explains it! This is a video of their short 2011 single version of the song. Its not hard to find the longer version, either by them, or the Carpenters on You Tube, if you prefer, though only the latter has actual humans performing in it.
Alright, given that I’m assuming most care as to how the scan went on Friday, I’d better cover that tonight? Great shame, as its the 72nd anniversary of the alien spacecraft ‘landing’ at Roswell, but maybe I can do that next time, though probably be the other blog. So anyway, lets do the serious version of events here, and maybe do a more ‘far fetched’ version on the other one?
I must admit it, no surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed having numerous electrodes pasted on to my head, and wired up to the scanning machine. Probably for all the wrong reasons, but regardless of that… I didnt get to see myself until afterwards, but it looked wonderful, something akin to those old 1930’s style perm/curling machine, so yes, I definitely had the ‘wired up to be brainwashed’ look, even if the electrodes were really only scanning, not brainwashing, but anyway…
The first bit was standard enough, the looking in all directions stuff, followed by about 10 minutes just laying there with my eyes closely, imagining it was doing all sorts of evil things to my mind, but you cant have everything, sadly.
After that, first I did some deep breathing exercises, presumably to try and trigger something interesting in my brain? After recovering from that, I was then subjected to a stream of lights flashing on, and off for periods, both with eyes open, and shut, and the latter caused the sort of pattern you see on those hypnotic trance things. Sadly, even that didnt actually erase my mind, shame!
I gather there was nothing exciting in the results, which might have been down to having a good day, or a sign that I’m on about the right level of meds now, or possibly both. Results will go to the neurologist to decide what happens next. Well, in one sense at least. The sense of whether they want to repeat the test after a period of some sleep deprivation, as that would possibly annoy my brain more, and produce better results, before the MRI scan. Alternately, the MRI scan is now set for 3 weeks today, so we could go straight to that. The amusing thing there will be getting the earrings out of my ears, after, err, a large number of years, without removal. No idea on that one, but they will have to go by one means or another, for sure. Then I have to decide whether to get a pair of studs put back in, or not. I suspect the decision will depend on whether I might need follow up MRI’s, or not?
The other choice I’m facing soon relates to the transition issue. I can simply get the bits bobbed, get the right genitals aligned to the womb, and leave it at that, or I can do the whole thing, hormones, the full work. The main thing being that if I want to flash genuine cleavage, I’ll need to do the latter, but there is a lot involved. If all I wanted is my main psychological issue solved, the bits down below, it could be done a lot easier, and I could then wear clingy dresses, and swimsuits, with no issue anyway.
Twist my arm, real cleavage would be nice, but at my age, in truth, clearly up the main issue might be the easier option.
So now, await the revised brainwashing (EEG), or the MRI robotisation, which will it be? Got one fun job tomorrow regardless, ring for the result of the blood test, unless that too vanished back to the 1930’s, or some alien planet!
OK, video time, and the reason for the blog title. The electrodes sadly come off too easily, the paste used to fix them to my scalp, less so. But my hair is now washed, conditioned, and electricity free. So, a little Kylie. There is a very robot version of this video, but as always, when you want to find something, nowhere to be seen!