Category Archives: Name Change

I forgot my name?

The irony is, the main people I would like to see this, cant! In truth, Facebook might have done me a favor with their dastardly deed, though dont quote me on that. Well, I’d been thinking of separating from it, but instead, they walked out on me. Well, on one of my accounts at least.

I have, for sometime, had 2 accounts on Facebook, one for friends, and work contacts and the like, and another for the publishing side of things, the dormant acting stuff, and generally anything LA, or movie related. Yes, there is stuff on the latter that its probably better some friends didnt know, but anyway, no more!

Sometime last year, someone objected to the latter account, because of my name, and because I used a picture of the original Harlean Carpenter, instead of me, as the profile pic. Fine, the cover pictures were me, but anyway… At the time, I sent Passport evidence to Facebook to prove it was my name, and that was it, account reinstated, and a promise that the issue wouldnt arise again.

So yes, when I arrived home Wednesday night, to find out the account had been disabled again, despite all this, I was not amused. So fine, I went through the same ID protocol as before, only this time I’ve come across a ‘Mr Jobsworth’ who because my passport picture doesnt match the avatar one, he wont reinstate the account. So thats it, short of major cosmetic surgery, what can I do? The fact that I used Jean’s birth date as well might play a part, which is 13 days different to mine (Yes, I used the correct year), but in all truth, my name really is Harlean Carpenter, as proved by ID, but they wont let me in. The irony, as a friend from there pointed out, is that there are about 20 other Harlean Carpenter profiles over there, and numerous Jean Harlow ones too, and they arent even using their legal name!

Fine, I will admit it, I was getting tired of Facebook, and therefore cutting it right back, or totally over isnt going to be that hard. I was tempted at one point to shut the other account completely, but now I’ve toned that down to leaving it open for contact purposes, via their message system, and to publicize my blogs.

I know, its not Facebook as such, they are just acting on the whims of some pedantic vintage movie folk, who dont like someone posting under the name, even if its my real one. Lets face it, there is no chance its the real Jean Harlow posting, lets face it! Oh, agreed, if I ever find out who did it, I’d look for my chance of vengeance, but for now, I’ll settle for not wasting too much time on Facebook any more. So if anyone wants me, on my Facebook account, message me. If anyone wants me to see something specific there, message, or tag me! Because otherwise, I probably wont see it!

OK, video time. A song for whoever, because seemingly now, Facebook wont let you have an account in your own name. I only hope ‘Mr Jobsworth’ is happy in his life!…rolls eyes…

Anniversary today!

Firstly, dont think I’m short changing you today, because I’m not, I’ll be back with the more thoughtful blog later!

But yes, however much I jibe at Facebook for all those ghastly ‘on this day’ stuff that they inflict on you, today I got one that definitely piqued my interest. Yes, it was a year ago today that Harlean Stephanie Carpenter came into the world. Yes, by deed poll, not by any other means, though fine, I’m still open to anyone who wants to transform me to looking like the other Harlean Carpenter, then fine, lets go for it lol!

I would say it was the day I officially embraced womanhood, but yes, fine, in terms of everything but the passport, that had happened a long time before that. And yes, the passport took a couple of months to sort out, even after that, so…

Yes, thats right, as planned, I didnt hang around after I got back from Hollywood to get the deed done!

So, yes, happy anniversary, Harlean Carpenter, and happy trails to my former self, both in name, and gender!

Video? Well, what people dont need to do any more, about my old self, and gender, I’m certain!

The next time I fly away…

It will officially be as a woman! Yes, I now have my new passport, at long last, new name, new gender, such a wonderful moment.

Fine, I guessed it was on its way, when the confirming paperwork, and old passport arrived back yesterday, by post, but this afternoon, the new passport actually arrived here, finally, its all sorted! Yes, all my paperwork now says I’m a woman, wow!

Yes, its been a long journey, about 15 years in all, but now, unless I take that last step, and get my ‘bits’ altered, thats the end of the transgender road for me. No, I think that unless someone special comes into my life, and wants me to change them, that at my age, its not likely to happen. Lets face it, my general health is not exactly great, so why undergo major surgery, that will now change nothing non sexual, why bother? I mean, its not like I bother with sex stuff anyway!

I wonder, if you’d told me 15 years or so ago, when I discovered this, that one day, this would happen, well I might have laughed at you, but now…I’m just so thrilled.

And no, I’m not planning on any more name changes either, unless I get married, something I’m pretty certain wont happen. Now, even if I do, I might take the daring step of not changing my name again, I love it far too much for that!

Alright, fine, now there’s one thing I want to do, but cant afford. Yes, thats right, I want to take a flight somewhere, as a woman! Hey, I’d even fly domestically, in truth, though further afield would be wonderful. But I just want to check in, with a passport that says I’m a woman, now. Actually, to fly to the US, which I would love, I actually now need to get a new ESTA, in my new name, and gender, and I think thats 72 hours warning, so…fine, I’ll fly closer to home, for now! Yes, in truth, its US immigration I want to pass through as a woman (not that I’ve ever had any issues with them) that will be so special. I love the country, and to enter, as a genuine woman, heaven!

But if anyone reading this, or knows someone with either with money to spare, or a wealthy benefactor, that wants to make this old ladies day, then yes, please do!

But yes, today is a very special day for me, that last piece of paperwork, that didnt say female, is no more!

Right, the video. Guess what, there’s a clue in the blog title. I know, so shocking lol!

No phone, no car, what do you do?

Yes, the title of the blog is a play on Adam Ant’s song, Goody Two Shoes, but thats not the video tonight, just saying…

As regular readers will know, shortly before Christmas, I took my chance, over the holidays, and sent off my old passport, along with the application form, for the new one, in my new name, and gender. And when, before Christmas, the money was taken off the card, I thought that was a good sign. And also given that the standard 4 week period for return came up last Thursday, I’d reached the point of expecting it to arrive sometime soon, even allowing for the holiday period, and all that. So, when I received an envelope back from the passport office on Monday, I assumed they were returning my deed poll, and stuff, as that tends to come separate to the passport, delivered by courier, for obvious security reasons.

I wish!

No, it was a letter asking me to prove evidence that I’d changed my name on my driving licence too! Yes, I remember vaguely from before this happening, that they check for a licence in your new name, and if they cant find it…it gets queried! Of course there is a good reason why I havent told said authorities about my name change, I dont drive, and dont hold a licence! I wouldnt say her surprise at the other end of the phone that I dont drive matched those when told that I dont own a mobile phone, but it was pretty good, all the same!

Anyway, the good news, seemingly that was the last issue outstanding, and therefore, with luck, that new passport should arrive in the next few days, I sincerely hope! It will make things so much easier when I have it again. Not that I currently have the funds to use it for trips (however tempting the idea might be), but for ID purposes, please! Yes, at present, all charitable donations would be very much gratefully received!

But anyway, regardless of that, tomorrow, I get to do my first agency registration as Harlean. Yes, they know the situation, and I will have to show them my passport when it arrives, but they’re going ahead with it anyway. Thankfully, by now, I’m well used to the name, and dont even blink when called it, so all is fine on that front. Fine, in fact, I love it!

Right, the video. What I dont do, OK? 😉

2016 – Holding out for a hero?

Yes, I know, its a couple of days early, but there’s a good reason for that, more on that at the end of the blog. Facebook, and Twitter followers know already, but for those who dont…! Normally this is a cheery event, but circumstances mean its less so this time around.

Well, one thing I can definitely look forward to in 2016, is a new me! Strictly, I’ve already applied for a few jobs as Harlean, but I guess that is going to peak far more in the New Year. Hopefully very quickly in the New Year, the passport will be back, in my new name, and gender, as I’m strictly without ID at present, so fingers crossed, as doing interviews, and registrations would be, err, entertaining without one! Wouldnt it be ironic if after all these interview battles as Stevie Nicholls, that Harlean Carpenter got one quickly. No, I’m not quite as sure as that, but we will see.

The main thing I’m looking forward to, when I can afford it at least, is that first flight as a woman named Harlean, that really is going to be a special moment. Ideally, that will be May, to New England, to meet up with Kate, but as I say, short of financial salvation, or a lottery win, I need a job before then! If the job, or financial situation solved itself, I have no idea about the second holiday at present. Money, I’d love to do another 4 week stay in Hollywood, but if I’m in a job, not going to happen. Ah well, something will hopefully sort itself out.

How long before money becomes a really major issue, did you ask? About 10 weeks I guess, really beginning to get concerned about that now, I never imagined it would get to this.

Beyond that, I guess I might pluck up the courage to find a partner, though I’m not quite sure who would want me, I’m hardly a great prize, lets face it! But yes, if I can find a decent site, that doesnt want a fee for the privilege, I might dip my toes in, and find out what its like to be wooed again. Snag is, I can hardly pay my part of any date at present, ah well…I need a rich hero lol!
Or find myself a wealthy Mistress, or Master, to be a thoroughly submissive slave to? I know, might be fun, but I’m not prime material, age, or body! Who wants a hypno-bot, or even better, a real one lol? Fine, I’d be a human one, but…

But yes, its hard to look forward to 2016 with conviction at present, because so much depends on finding that job, or a wealthy benefactor, or both. Or a lottery win? Fine, I’ll stop laughing on that one now!

The other option is to find a time machine, go back to the 1930’s, where I’d have a small fortune, and…kidding, I think?

So yes, all in all, as Bonnie Tyler says in the video, I’m holding out for a hero. Job offer, benefactor, or a lottery machine churning out the right numbers, any would do!

Yes, fine, as I mentioned, I’m doing this early for a purpose. The last blog of the year, feel free to suggest a subject you’d like to hear me waffle on. Only condition, its something I can easily type about 600 words on, and thats it, the rest is up to you. Comment here, send it by Twitter at @harleanlook, or on my Facebook page at Harlean Stephanie Carpenter, or as more likely from past experience, do nothing at all. Be a devil, and just come back in 2 days time, and see what I selected.

Bye, bye, Miss American Pie – A look back at 2015

Yes, I know, this normally requires 2 blogs, to keep them at sensible lengths, but I think 1 will probably do this year. 2015 has been a funny year, highs, and lows, and not much in between!

I must admit, if you’d told me back in January, when I learnt of the redundancy offer from Hills, that I’d still be job hunting at the end of the year, I’d have laughed at you. Fine, I’m not laughing now, but I’m still standing, for now at least. I was offered an option to stay on, but given it was the third time in 6 years that they’d made me redundant, and the offer was very good, I decided to go for it. One of the main issues for staying on, apart from being worn down by shop staff, was that I’d have to get myself home after 10.00 finishes, and buses dont run late enough for that around here. So I went for it, and took the chance to up my April holiday from 7 days, to 10, in Hollywood, as I wouldnt have to worry about holiday allowances by then! I actually left at the very end of March, having also managed to do the last escalated agent shift, a little while earlier.

Ignoring most details of job hunting efforts (you’ve suffered enough of those over 9 months), the big event in April was that first visit to Hollywood, the 10 day hotel based adventure. As you know, I fell in love with the place, but more of that later. Yes, its a crazy place, and thats not usually my scene, but for once…Fine, I soon discovered that even 10 days wasnt enough, and pledged I would have to return some day, not realising how soon that would be!

Pretty much nothing exciting then happened, until the end of August, when I decided that unless I did something to break the sequence of frustrating job interviews, I was going to do something crazy, or just go crazy. So, I did something crazy! I looked into, and ended up booking a 4 week stay, starting at the very end of September, in a rented apartment in the Hollywood Hills. It was going to make the money issue ‘more interesting’, but I could do it, needed to do it, so it was happening!

Earlier in September, I’d had booked, for quite a while, a week on Cape Cod, with my wonderful friend, Kate. It was a lovely break, and teaming up with her again was wonderful. Then it was back to the UK, for a whole 10 days, before setting off for my Hollywood apartment! Again, the details of the trip can be found in the blog, so lets focus on the other issues. All my travel to the US before, has been staying in a hotel. But I discovered that having your own little apartment is pure heaven! No, I wouldnt do that for a 7 day stay probably, but anything longer than that, absolutely! Oh, and to a slight degree, even a combined total of 38 days in LA isnt enough to see everything! Fine, one thing I would love to have seen (Harlow’s home in Easton Drive) was out of range of a non driver, but otherwise…

Oh, and one thing got delayed, because of the 2 close together trips to the US, the change of name, and in passport terms, the change of gender. But immediately after I got back, the name change request went through, and in the last 10 days (because I’ve been using my old passport for ID), the passport change has finally been arranged, and as the fee has now been taken, I’m now definitely known as Harlean (other than those who are so used to using Steph/Stevie/Stephanie at least), and I’m definitely female, with an extra bit, for now at least. I cant see me removing it, unless need really arises, but never say never…Really looking forward to moving forward as Harlean, and no gender issues related to passport.

Fine, lets not mention that awful job choice I made in December, when I could have been on a research trial, OK? Live, and learn, I guess?

The video, what I seem to have been this year, judging by the amount of time I’ve spent there (about 45 days in all!). A clever video, for a song too old to have had one.

Finally, I know who I am

Yes, they think its all over, for Ms Nicholls at least, it is now!

This morning marked the last appearance of said, Ms Nicholls, at my final job interview, using that name. Hey, I’ve already altered my CV, the sites that I get job vacancy emails from, and my NI details. The passport, the last document showing that old name, will be sent off tomorrow, as I will go into a Post Office, and send it off on the way into town, to get the last couple of small Christmas gifts I have to get.

But on that bus into town (even if my Metro pass will say otherwise, for the next 14 days), it will be Miss Carpenter going into town. Oh fine, strictly, she has for over a month now, but due to ID issues, and a good number of those trips relating to job applications, its a debatable issue, but no more!

To be honest, I’m glad its done. It will be so much easier to only have to focus on one name, and fine, this may also be the point where I switch from using Stephanie, to actually using Harlean, as I’m no longer worried about keeping the names similar. Yes, I expect to hear “That’s an unusual name.” a few times, but I really don’t care. I know one thing, I wont have to worry about having the same first name as anyone else in an office, or anywhere lol!

Oh, and should anyone be daft enough to want to buy me a present to celebrate the fact, or for Christmas, I’d love this

I know, thoroughly submissive look, so I shouldnt love it, but I do! No, I dont seriously expect anyone to get it for me, but I can dream.

Right, the video, possibly apt on a day when I finally only have one name again. It features a lot of old movie stars among the images, though sadly not the star formerly known as Harlean Carpenter. Now where have I heard that name? 😉

Oh, and finally, if anyone wants to use this method to erase all my memories of my former name/self, please do so!

How to make someone feel old

Yes, me, before you ask.

I had a job interview this afternoon, and lets just say I dont expect to get any positive news from it. Why? Nothing to do with my talents, or skills, or the way I performed, I might add. No, its the fact that virtually every other line she used in the interview mentioned that it was ‘a young office’ I would be working in. And lets face it, I’m not young, and pretty sure thats what she was getting at. Fine, actually, she was right, I did take a look around the office as I was leaving, and I grant you, I dont think I saw a face above 30, to be honest.

For want of a better brief description, they are an online business (though they do a have a couple of small outlets) selling all sorts of electrical appliances, from laptops, to kitchen stuff, to new gimmicky toys, so I guess it would attract younger, more internet sales savvy folk than me! Fine, there was one section that amused me, for all the wrong reasons. Yes, Drones Direct. Sorry, as a writer of sci-fi, I tend to think of another kind of drone in that case, the mindless, obedient ones lol. Of course, those are those gadgets that fly around the skies, generally annoying folks, and occasionally doing other things. And fine, they arent the type of drones that more appeal to me, I must say.

Well, now to be honest, it looks like my old passport has just got one more journey out, before the change of name, and gender happens on that front. Yes, not heard anything more at this point about Wednesday, so beginning to assume thats not happening. So tomorrow, I head for screening at Covance, under my old name, then on Wednesday, the passport can be dispatched, the last moments as Stevie Lou Nicholls, in any sense of the words. Then in the New Year, Harlean Stephanie Carpenter will be free to frolic, and apply for jobs, and everything else, as a woman! Yes, passport and all! And when I get some money in, I can plan that first flight, legitimately as a woman, cant wait!

Oh, one fun moment on that, before I close. I tried to add money to my credit card, to pay for the passport fee. But because the funds came from Miss Carpenter, not Ms Nicholls, they sent it back. Thankfully by going into the Travel Agency, I was able to deposit funds, and problem solved! Funnily enough, I told them the reason I was doing it, and their reply? If I send them a scan of my passport, in my new name, they could change the details. Err, read the email, stupid…rolls eyes…!

Video for tonight. What this place really wanted for a job interview, not a middle aged lady like me. Well, maybe you dont have to be single, but…

Oh, I love the blonde’s dress!

Goodbye, Stevie Lou, Hello, Harlean!

Yes, I know, formally its been changed for a while by deed poll, but one annoying document has been holding me up from the full transformation into Harlean, the passport. To be fair, I’ve been using Stephanie up till now on the whole, with the ‘job from hell’, and other places, but I might decide to embrace the name, Harlean more fully when all my paperwork says thats me! Hey, if I dont, why did I make it my first name lol? Then all I need is a matching Harlean Carpenter/Jean Harlow neural makeover…OK, fine, but I can dream! 😛

The snag with arranging to get the passport changed over, is the obvious one. When you are job hunting, you need ID at every point, to prove you are who you say you are, so normally, even for 2 or 3 weeks, being without a passport is pretty much out of the question. Oh, and fine, I was waiting for the magic letter from the Doctor, but seemingly that was purely a confusion issue, I assumed it would be sent to me, whereas its been waiting patiently for me at the surgery, for, err, a little while! Ah well, as I say, I’ve been using it as ID, so no real harm done.

And yes, you’re right, I havent got a job yet, but Christmas is fast approaching, and I suspect no one is actually going to start new staff, between now, and then. So as things stand, I have got (probably) an assessment session next Wednesday, when they may, or may not want to see some ID, and I have a medical screening to do, which I can rearrange tomorrow, hopefully for early next week, and then…I could take a chance, and send that passport away. And then early in the New Year, when I will hopefully be in a clinic bed for a few days, before starting work, it can return. brand new, and the ugly duckling, Stevie Lou, will become the beautiful swan, Harlean Stephanie.

Oh fine, I know, I’ll look no difference, but that magical document will say female, not male, which will be a wonderful sight. And then, I will feel like I can visit Canada again, when I want to, as my image will match the gender on my passport! Not that I’ve any immediate plans to do so, but…it could be done! I’m not saying I would have had issues, but I wasnt prepared to find out!

But yes, I’ll be so glad when I only have to think about using one name again, the one I treasure, the true me, Harlean Stephanie Carpenter! I might scan a copy of the critical passport page before I send it off, though I have no idea how much standing that really would have? But it should only be in case of emergencies, so…?

So yes, hopefully in about 4 weeks or so time, Stevie Lou Nicholls will have had her last call, and I will be Harlean Stephanie Carpenter in every way, at long last. I cant say I’ll be sorry when it happens!

Oh fine, as always, the video. I know, lacking Christmas songs this year, and this wont change things.

If I was a Carpenter, I could build Harlean’s house!

Alright, I’ll attempt to write a fairly short blog (I know!) just to let you know the news, I have finally got around to requesting the deed poll certificate in my new name. Yes, it had to wait until I got back from the US to get it done, as I didnt want any fun flying to LA, and back, but now its done. Seemingly, if I’d kept it to myself (and close friends), I could have done it beforehand, as its only when you officially present the paperwork to the authorities that it becomes formal, but anyway…all sorted now, and done.

And yes, the clue to the chosen first name is in the blog title, eventually I settled on the one that I really wanted in the first place, despite my concerns about the name match, to some degree. But in the end, I knew I had to do it, so…

Last night, I ordered the deed poll certificate in my new name, Miss Harlean Stephanie Carpenter. I’m guessing most who know me will carry on calling me Steph, or Stephanie, and lets face it, I might take a little while to get used to anyone actually calling me Harlean anyway lol! But I’ll enjoy it when they do! Now, if anyone can transform me to look like the original Harlean (Harlow) Carpenter, I’d appreciate it!

I did it now, on the grounds I’m either going to be in a job in the next couple of weeks, and not needing a passport for ID anywhere, or I’m going to be doing my clinical research trial, and not needing a passport for a while, for ID purposes at job interviews! Once I get the certificates, I’ll need to go to the doctor’s surgery, and get my name changed, at which point I’ll request the letter from him, confirming I’ve lived as a woman for 5 years, have no plans to do otherwise in the future, and then apply for the passport, as a woman! Yes, the last element of maleness will be gone! 🙂

I might still get the Gender Recognition Certificate at some point, though given the passport is the last thing that shows me as male, its a moot point. I really couldnt justify the cost at present (£140), though maybe when I (finally) get a job, or the money from the research trial, I might just get it done anyway, as a true last step to being a woman.

Anyone wanting to like this news, or congratulate me, would be nice.

Fine, lastly, the video. Yes, the clue is in the title, focus on the first part. Fine, I cant see anyone offering to marry me, and I’m definitely not having any babies, but otherwise…