Mixed up, muddled up world
Some of my more mature readers will know what song that line is from, long before reaching the video, but for those who dont, you’re in for a live treat.
The next 2 days see two of those ‘days’ that I feel close to. Thursday is National Coming Out Day, and fine, I came out nearly 2 decades ago, but it still is a landmark date for some, that might inspire people to come out as any variation of LGBTI+ that they feel they are.
Me, strictly I’m intersex, but I relate most closely nowadays to Transgender I guess, so lets settle for either, both, or however you want to see it. I’m marking the day at a Civil Service wide conference, in Manchester, which should be a tremendous event, and I will review it, but might be Sunday before I get to it (or any next blog), just saying.
But for now, lets focus on tomorrow, which is World Mental Health Day. I’m sure I suffered with mental health issues of sorts, from the age of 6 onward, when I first realised that I didnt feel right as a boy, though I had no idea why at the time. Probably grew worse as I got older, and its fair to say that by the 90’s, I knew something was wrong in my head, though I had no idea what. Of course, in 2000, I found out what it was, but my mental state had probably been limited in efficiency in the meanwhile.
Nowadays I think I’m relatively fine, due to living as a woman for many years, but I suspect that my mind has been pretty scrambled in the past, if not now, which dont quote me on, either way!
At the time, in 2005, when I first decided I wanted to formally transition, one of the conditions before you could do so, was a mental health check. No, not to see if you were normal enough to be able to make said decision, but to see if your ‘mental health issues’ in wanting to change gender were genuine. Yes, I passed, but before much happened (other than confirmation I was mentally a woman, in a mans body), I moved to Yorkshire, so the process sort of stopped for a while. I have no idea if I would still, officially have to prove I was ‘crazy’ in wanting to become a woman now, no idea.
But yes, tomorrow, just think of all the people suffering from mental health issues, from mild depression, to the most serious matters, and either be grateful its not you, or that hopefully, if it is you, that you can get through it, and recover.
Equally, if on Thursday, you want to use that as the chance to ‘come out’, then take it, please!
Right, video time. Its fair to say this is the first transgender related song I ever remember hearing, long before I knew I was a girl, underneath all those layers. Not sure I got it at the time, but sure did a few years later!
All crazy now?
Now, just for once I’m going to get serious here. I know, I’ll soon get over that, but for better, or worse, thats what some people think will happen with this issue, and to some degree, they’re wrong. In fact to a large degree, but anyway… Oh, in case you were wondering, and I suspect that all readers outside the UK, and some inside the UK wouldnt know, this week is Mental Health Awareness Week.
I’d love to say that my first contact with a Mental Health unit was when I began transitioning, because back in 2004, when that happened, the only way you could start to transition was with a visit to such, and for want of a better term, be declared mentally ill, because you felt you had the body of the wrong gender. Yes, seriously, just 13 years ago! In truth, I have no idea if that rule still stands, and if not, when it was stopped, so please dont ask! Try Google, lol!
I think in hindsight, its not hard to see now, that the serious depression issues I had in the 90’s did relate to the whole transgender issue. No, I didnt know that was it back then, but after that, it hasnt been hard to put two and two together, and actually make four about it! And yes, its far to say that I was still battling depression all the way up until 2010, when I finally took the first real steps to transition, and lived life as I should have done for more than 50 years! I wouldnt say things are perfect, even now, though its pretty much so, all the same. A lot of stress doesnt help, so yes, the 15 months or so without a job didnt help, but I’ve fought back now, hopefully to a good point.
The thing is, for some people, when you talk about mental health issues, they think back to the asylums, and the ‘crazies’ that used to live in those places. For better, for worse, and I generally believe for worse, those places are pretty much gone now. Medications, and treatments are a lot better, but the opportunity for some to just get away from the cruel world, for a short time, or longer, well its fair to say some still need it.
But most issues nowadays come down to depression, stress, and other related illnesses brought on by modern life. Hopefully minor, but sadly some more serious, but yes, they definitely exist. For me, the worst is hopefully in the past, but for others, not so. And yes, I guess I’ve looked into it more than most, mainly since 2004, but I saw some of the other side of it before then. Anyway, one of the related things happening at work, is the instigation of more mental health first aiders at work, and yes, I will be applying for such a role. Its not as a medical position, more of being someone there to aid, and support those who need it, like I needed it in the past, when this sort of role didnt exist.
But let me just say, that trained or otherwise, if you see someone feeling really down, and its safe to do so, talk to them, try to help them if you can, or set them in the right direction to get help, just saying…
I have in the past, tried to bring videos of groups to peoples attention that you might have missed, and tonight is one of them. Not their greatest hit, by any stretch of the imagination, but its apt, in a sense, for tonight.
And yes, if you want an ugly wife, I am available lol! 😛
stevielounicks 
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