Mixed up, muddled up world

Some of my more mature readers will know what song that line is from, long before reaching the video, but for those who dont, you’re in for a live treat.

The next 2 days see two of those ‘days’ that I feel close to. Thursday is National Coming Out Day, and fine, I came out nearly 2 decades ago, but it still is a landmark date for some, that might inspire people to come out as any variation of LGBTI+ that they feel they are.

Me, strictly I’m intersex, but I relate most closely nowadays to Transgender I guess, so lets settle for either, both, or however you want to see it. I’m marking the day at a Civil Service wide conference, in Manchester, which should be a tremendous event, and I will review it, but might be Sunday before I get to it (or any next blog), just saying.

But for now, lets focus on tomorrow, which is World Mental Health Day. I’m sure I suffered with mental health issues of sorts, from the age of 6 onward, when I first realised that I didnt feel right as a boy, though I had no idea why at the time. Probably grew worse as I got older, and its fair to say that by the 90’s, I knew something was wrong in my head, though I had no idea what. Of course, in 2000, I found out what it was, but my mental state had probably been limited in efficiency in the meanwhile.

Nowadays I think I’m relatively fine, due to living as a woman for many years, but I suspect that my mind has been pretty scrambled in the past, if not now, which dont quote me on, either way!

At the time, in 2005, when I first decided I wanted to formally transition, one of the conditions before you could do so, was a mental health check. No, not to see if you were normal enough to be able to make said decision, but to see if your ‘mental health issues’ in wanting to change gender were genuine. Yes, I passed, but before much happened (other than confirmation I was mentally a woman, in a mans body), I moved to Yorkshire, so the process sort of stopped for a while. I have no idea if I would still, officially have to prove I was ‘crazy’ in wanting to become a woman now, no idea.

But yes, tomorrow, just think of all the people suffering from mental health issues, from mild depression, to the most serious matters, and either be grateful its not you, or that hopefully, if it is you, that you can get through it, and recover.

Equally, if on Thursday, you want to use that as the chance to ‘come out’, then take it, please!

Right, video time. Its fair to say this is the first transgender related song I ever remember hearing, long before I knew I was a girl, underneath all those layers. Not sure I got it at the time, but sure did a few years later!

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