A piece of amusing fluff that my brain can probably cope with today that I want to get out of my system, even if I know I’m not going to get any positive replies. Please note, this is only based on the 99.99% assumption that I’m not going to be fit for work ever again, or at least in the foreseeable future. Should my neurologist have the skills of Rotwang, and either replace my brain with the most complex AI system, or even better, do a Maria on me, and turn me into a robot, then this wont be needed, and I’d be a happy bunny. Again, given this is less likely than the other 0.01% chance, lets go with the flow (and silliness).
In September/October, the other 2 here are planning on heading down to Portugal on a leisurely basis, away for 3-4 weeks. Now if my body, and more importantly my brain were functioning normally, all would be fine. Cats might complain about erratic feeding times, but they’d survive. Thing is, my brain most definitely isnt functioning normally, is it? So yes, I’m going to need a minder of some kind, arent I? Even if the meds do seem to have my problems currently under control (if not my mind under control, sadly), I do need to be checked regularly, just in case. Unless…?
Oh fine, lets face it, I’m not your perfect companion/courtesan type, am I? I’m not a pretty, sexy little 20 something female, happy to pay her way in company, and err, other things (sex stuff, for those who really are innocent), am I? I’m a less than stunning, 60 something, with a few health issues that need keeping an eye on, and thats before you even get to the bit about being pre op Transgender, with no interest in sex! Equally, I’m less demanding than said sex kittens. As long as I have something basic to eat (clean minds, please), have internet connection, availability to televised baseball/NFL maybe, a comfy bed, and someone to make sure I dont have a seizure or something, I wont demand the world. Thats not to say that if someone offered the world (or any decent life standard in between), that I wouldnt say no, but…
And yes, I dont need an apartment//beach house (yes Marion Davies, looking at you) permanently, I just need somewhere comfortable to live for shall we say, 4 weeks? Mind, if you want to set me up as your modern day ‘Marion Davies’, well…?
But seriously, if any generous person wants to simply ‘mind’ me, for a few weeks, somewhere decently warm (or warmer), no commitment, for little financial reward, then fine, thats all I really need. I’m not very mobile, to put it politely, but I’m definitely not an acting diva, either, darlings. But if you want a companion for events/meals, well…
Talking of which, if all this supposed time travel stuff is true, and someone in the 1920’s reads this, and fancies a less than frisky flapper for a few weeks, looking the part, send me a telegram, or something. Or email (email@example.com), if really a time traveller, lol. (modern people can also use said email address too)
Alright, my dream result of this request? A wealthy person from California, or Florida, seeking a companion for a few weeks, probably live in, or regularly visited, where I could play the part of the ‘lady of the house’ for a few weeks would be heaven, but that doesnt happen in real life, does it?
Equally, if anyone needs a guinea pig for robot, or AI experiments, well…? 😉 Lets face it, I could really do with a new brain, or ideally, body! Now that really would be fun!
OK, wishful thinking over, which leads to video time. Being bisexual, I couldnt go strictly with the song title, but this would be heaven. One of those delicious movies with a 20’s feel! Oh, I love Twiggy’s outfit!
Before anyone gets too concerned about this, check the publication date, just saying…
Saturday saw me get my letter from the local National Health Service, re my Neurology appointment date. Yes, June 18th. I know, British folk, about par for the ‘free’ National Health Service over here (strictly its paid out of our wage deductions over here). Some of my US friends would say “So long?” but fine, if I had £10K to spare (or Medical insurance cover for that), I could probably get seen to in next couple of weeks. but unless any generous ‘chaperone’ is offering me that sort of money, not going to happen. No, I havent got the looks of Marion Davies, and I dont know anyone with the wealth of William R Hearst! So…
Anyone, given that they know something is wrong with my brain, and someone (no, it wasnt me, honest) has told them about my brainwashing kinks, they’ve decided to take the logical outcome, wipe my organic brain clean, then replace it with a nice AI unit, that will ‘act’ like me, but will in truth be a robotic machine, within a human body (though they are considering the matching robot body, I’m told). In truth, my only disappointment, the fact I’ve got to wait until the middle of June for this to happen!
OK, yes, its April 1st, one of those paragraphs is the truth, the other is total fabrication. Yes, sadly, its the second paragraph that is the ‘April Fool’, unless you want to tell me, and arrange otherwise. Because if it could be, the only thing in the second paragraph that would then be true would be my disappointment at it taking so long to get it done! I must admit, I’m looking forward to have a brain MRI, and EEG done, for all the wrong reasons, or shall we just say my fantasies will be running wild while its all being done.
I’ll be honest, I discovered today just how weak its all left me. I had to go into Huddersfield today to provide the certificate showing that I’m unfit to work at present. That’s dated until 30th April, but as the Doctors all said, I’m not going anywhere near any work until after my brain has been upgraded. Sorry, medically checked out, yes, I wish! So now we know that’s not before 18th June, and then will need the results after that, its going to be the end of June, at best. All medical advice recently, suggests I’m not going back. Having walked a few hundred yards between where I was dropped off this morning (Thanks, Ella) to deliver said certificate, and back, and how exhausted I’ve been afterwards, they’re right, I’m sure. Well, unless my brain/body, does get the robot makeover (oh, please…) at least.
So as I say, partly fact, partly fool. If someone does want to make the fool part fact, I couldnt be happier, but seriously… I know, a year ago, I could walk miles in Seattle, even with my back issues, now 200 yards is a challenge! So that automated, cybernetic robot body, oh yes please! Yes, brainwashed, and totally mindlessly obedient would be seen as a bonus, and thats no fool!
Right, video time. Yes, I would love this done to me, seriously, and as my brainwashing fantasies go, this pretty much fits the bill. It is Batman, but this is the 1940’s version, not the better known 1960’s version. But the brainwashing helmet over your head, the control unit literally on your head, well… Where’s this kind of man when you need one, when your brain is malfunctioning, lol?
Happy April Fools Day, unless you want to show me otherwise? 😉
Yes, a bonus blog, make the most of it! Well, unless I decide not to bother tomorrow night, in which case we’re level, anyway. Yes, its one of those ‘days’ today, it seemingly being National Pie Day. Well, I had a Fisherman’s Pie tonight, if that counts? In truth, it probably doesnt, as there is not a flake of pastry involved, and lets face it, for most people, thats what really makes a pie. Oh, and fine, that was a ready meal, out of a pack. What do you think I am, the perfect housewife, lol?
Of course, if anyone wants to send me to the Stepford School for creating the perfect housewife, count me in. Yes, I know, I’d enjoy being turned into the robot version of the perfect 50’s housewife far too much! And yes, in truth now, thats probably about the only way I could be a perfect housewife ever again, the robot upgrade, as my physical health is now certainly not up to basic things like cutting up vegetables and the like, and after nearly 20 years, the concept of me cooking anything from scratch is pretty much zero, anyway.
Pie is one of those strange things, that comes in so many guises. You get those savoury pastry covered pies, filled with meat and vegetables, and at the same time, sweet pastry clad pies, containing fruit, for desserts. You also get those pies that never get to see pastry, settling for a potato based topping, and nothing more to keep the ingredients in place. Strictly, you can have a savoury mince pie, and a sweet mince pie, even in the same meal, though of course they’re a different type of mince in each of them. And no, I couldnt tell you the last time I created a pie myself, though I have heated up a few of those that were ‘made earlier’, generally by a handy baker, or supermarket!
As I say, I’d love to be ‘transformed’ into the perfect cook, and housewife, but it would definitely take a miraculous, or Stepford makeover for that to happen nowadays. The latter might be better, as at least I might get a new robot body capable of doing all that chopping, cutting, and other preparation stuff, that I currently havent got a clue about.
As you might have got the joke, the thing that Stepford Wives used to be famed for, was their apple pies, which explains the title of the blog. And of course, if they made it, it would be bound to be perfect. Robotically perfect, some might say. Which explains the choice of video…
About how AI was becoming so powerful, its going to take over the world from humans.
I mean, seriously, unless humanity is careful, I would guess that in about 20-30 years or so, they may well be right! Of course, their timeline, and the perceived nature of the article was more inclined to suggesting that in as little as 3 years from now, our AI Masters will control the Earth, and Humans just acting as their slaves, and in all honesty, I cant see that timeline being correct. I would, in truth, call it something that a bewigged Russian plant in the US likes to say, but in truth, it only is ‘fake news’ for now, because if you go far enough on, at likely rates of AI enhancement, it probably will happen.
I’m pretty certain I will be dead by then, so will miss out on the robot upgrade that I’d probably be one of few people to enjoy! In fact, by then, it will probably be more of an issue when said AI breaks down, as with the computer information systems at Gatwick Airport over the weekend, when departure information, and other critical stuff, normally handled by computers, and monitor screens do go down. Yes, it was all done on wipe boards, which I would imagine was the basis for flight info back in the early days of public flying, but there were far less planes around back then!
So, imagine, when you’re trying to board your hyperspeed space shuttle to Mars, and you have no idea what launch pad you’re taking off from, in about 20 years time…, lol!
Even more so, now, I’d love AI technology to be at a point where replacing my damaged spine, with a brand new cybernetic one was a simple operation. Fine, I’d quite enjoy my whole body being replaced by a new cybernetic one, but thats beside the point. Said body would then rely on systems to run it, and if that AI broke down…or ran amok, and took total control of mind and body…? Alright, I’d love that, but others…?
But yes, the development of AI, and similar systems is happening at an incredible rate. Too fast for some? Well, maybe, but for others, who would love a whole new AI capable robot body, maybe things are going too slow? 😉
Video time. No music tonight, just that classic Harlow film moment from Dinner At Eight, with the perfect retort from Marie Dressler. Yes, Jean, machinery probably will take over all jobs in time, just not quite yet!
Lets just say that you never know who has seen you in the past, and I dont mean stalkers!
My first appearance on National TV, I never got to see! Why? Because I was about 12 at the time, and BBC pictures of Live Sunday League Cricket seemingly caught me on TV. I was at Gillingham, watching the game live, and seemingly my mother had it on TV at home. Yes, you can put two and two together, she saw me on TV. And because nothing was recorded back then, it was before the days of video recorders, and all that (hey, we only had black & white TV at the time, early 70’s), so its safely lost in time. I gather I followed up on a couple of other visits to cricket games (Kent were a strong side, reached cup finals back then) being on TV for at least a few brief seconds!
My first ‘proper’ showing on TV was soon after I started at William Hill in Somerset. It was a ‘well known fact’ that the government were going to change the betting tax rules at that point, and they wanted a representative from within the industry to comment on TV about it, for a couple of minutes of interview. Fine, head office was nowhere nearby, they knew I’d done some acting, so got asked if I would do it, and said yes. Again, I never got to see it, as I was still at work when it was shown on local TV. I did do a couple more related pieces for them before I left there in 1999, but it was unpaid work, and not exactly regular work either!
I did a couple more after moving to another shop in Newbury, again both betting industry related, though I did manage to catch at least one of them on TV! Nothing to get excited about, it lasted about 30 seconds post edit, but hey, I’d seen me on Local TV! I also gather that a play I worked in, during that time was filmed for TV publicity, though I have never seen it, so I have no idea if I appeared in the background or not!
After that, I managed to do a few more TV appearances, most of which I’ve never seen, because they were for foreign TV companies. I did some fembot related documentaries for a Canadian company, and a couple of US companies, which as far as I know, never showed over here. I did at one point have a video tape of the Canadian one, but have no idea where it is now! So no begging me to put it on You Tube lol!
Since then I’ve done a few diversity related appearances, pretty brief pieces, and no, I dont remember seeing them either. Again mainly because it seemed to be studios from across the Atlantic that was attracted to me! The British ones, no idea, but dont remember seeing them at least.
I’m told I’m in a few pieces on You Tube. An eclectic mix of snippets of said TV performances I suspect, some of the acting performances got there after they happened, and one rather lengthy hypno piece that I did with someone in Chester, about 4 years ago, that I blogged about. No, dont bother going looking for it, its tagged as private, so the only way you’d find it, is if you asked me nicely for the link! The others are out there somewhere, though I have no idea what they are, or where, never looked for them!
The only thing I know of recently (unless I’ve been in a crowd shot at a baseball game) that has been recorded, was the diversity presentation inside the Civil Service last winter. As far as I know, that was only recorded for internal purposes, so sorry, folks.
Where is this leading to, I hear you ask? Well, earlier this week, someone ‘friended’ me on Facebook, and told me that he’d done it because he’d seen me on MSNBC a few years ago. No, courage failed me to ask if it was robot related, or diversity related, though I suspect it was the latter. But yes, isnt it funny how fame can suddenly come back into your life? Fine, not real fame, but at this point in my career…
I suspect now, if I was to do anything, it would be LGBT diversity related, though its not so long ago that a fembot related documentary could have happened, had I been in Southern California, but I wasnt, at the right time. A couple of months later, but they wanted it done, so…who knows? But yes, if I was to do any speaking now, on any media, I suspect its more likely to be about LGBT, old age, disability, or combination thereof! In fact, someone would love me to do that to a Trans group in Florida, but fine, finances are my issue! But yes, I would, if I could!
OK, video time. Its a well known group, but one of their lesser songs. There is a clue in the blog title, but I doubt anyone could work it out from that!
Firstly let me say that I didnt see this on TV last night, only finding out about it after it had all happened. Besides which, given I tend to avoid this sort of reality TV, I probably wouldnt have watched it, even if I had known, given what I’ve since read of her views beforehand. Yes, but for Twitterverse, I might never have known about it, though given the coverage it got this morning, that might have been hard to miss!
So my views are more my own, and as much as I could gather from comments from Twitter, and various media outlets, which may not be all that reliable.
Right, disclaimer over. Thats right, for those in the UK at least, who might know about it, the C4 program last night, A Week As A Muslim, is what I’m talking about tonight. For those elsewhere in the world, well, you’ve seen as much of it as I have!
It seems to be the classic TV take on something like this, take a self admitted non-fan of Muslim people, and get her to live as a Muslim for a week, and film events as they happen. I’m going to use that term, for now. She might have been worse than a non-fan, but as I wasnt witness to that, I’ll leave it there. Part of the reaction against her seems to have related to the fact that she was ‘made up’ to look like she was a Pakistani, which worked both ways, garnering complaints from those who wished to point out that there are white people who are Muslim, so she didnt need to be ‘colored’, and from those who said that it wasnt done in a flattering way to Pakistani Muslims, but as that is Twitter hearsay, I’m not sure how much credence to give to that. None would probably be close to the mark, there are some ghastly views on Twitter, on both sides of the fence!
Of course, as fate would happen, she went to live with a Muslim family in Manchester, and it coincided with the bombing at the Manchester Arena, which led to her realizing, even more, just what ordinary, innocent Muslim people have to put up with from some ‘idiots’! She only faced it for a few days, but for so many more, its a sad fact of life, at all times. So wrong, so sad that there are people like that, but anyway…
For me, I think it would be fascinating to spend a week as a woman in a Muslim family. But yes, I wouldnt make for ‘great TV’ because I’m pro ordinary Muslim people anyway. No, I dont support the terrorist branches, but neither do most Muslim people here anyway! And lets face it, there are some pretty awful right wing white supremacist types around too! Oh fine, she wore a Hijab, but I know that if I was in that role, I would have wanted to go out in a Niqab, or Burqa, just to find out the real truth. Mind, I suspect the reality in Bradford might be different to Manchester, but in truth, no idea.
I have some experience in these matters now, of course. Before September, I’d heard stories of people deliberately ignoring people in wheelchairs, trying to pretend they werent there, but I hoped it was being exaggerated. Sadly, the answer was no, it isnt. When sat in one, people just looked away, had to literally be shouted at, to stop them walking in front of the moving wheelchair, and so much more. All the same, I’m looking forward (hopefully, health permitting) to experiencing ‘Round 2’ in May, in 3 airports (I need to transit going out, direct flight back), I must say.
I guess it might be an actress thing, the challenge of a new role, either in a production, or in this case, a real life situation. So yes, a week as a Muslim would be a very different show with me, but I guess I’ll never know what its like. Unless…?
Equally, of course, if Channel 4 want to consider making a show, a week as a robot, hmm, lol? 😉
The video, massive clue in the title. Live version, a very good one, mind, as I’ve used the original before.
Well, I’m assuming it will be at least? As far as I can see, Transgender Day of Visibility, which was on Friday, was about the last landmark in LGBT history for a while, so I’m assuming I will now be able to drop back into quiet anonymity, much to the disappointment seemingly, of a number of my work colleagues. For those interested, the last article, which actually made the blog on the main Civil Service page, can be found here
Yes, I’m proud to be the spokeswoman for Transgender people in the Civil Service, dont get me wrong, and the ride has been amazing, but fine, the boring old biddy that I am would say that I go to work to do my daily job to the best of my ability, and thats the main thing. Fine, I have enjoyed the whole ride, but fine, getting back to ‘normality’ in Bradford will be a good thing to do.
I know someone will tell me otherwise, but I’m assuming that until the same landmarks come around next year, I can go back to being a dutiful Administrative Officer, and leave it at that? I have to say the reaction to everything at work has been amazing, and fine, I’ve quite enjoyed the teasing about my 15 minutes of fame at work too. Fine, it will go on until at least Wednesday, because someone is going to mention the article to the whole team at the staff meeting then, but after that, and probably before that, for people outside Bradford…
I know one thing, if I get this much publicity, and interviews during my stay in LA, I will be thrilled. If so, who knows where it might lead, but no, I’m not expecting that to happen. Except, well, maybe…? Helped someone with some research this morning, and it may lead to a filming opportunity when I’m in California, so I’m told, but I really will believe that when it happens! No, not Jimmy Fallon, yet! Nothing to do with transgender issues, but thats all I’m saying unless its likely to happen! 😛 Lets just say its something I would love to get involved in.
But now, as far as I know, life can go back to the reality of day to day work, with no interviews, no publicity, or nothing. Oh fine, a part of me is really going to miss that, but equally, getting back to just being another worker in the department, without all the other stuff, is probably better for my future prospects. Or maybe not? 😉
Video time. If you havent worked out the song, long before now, be ashamed! Thanks to Sarah for reminding me of this one.
After last nights rant, lets have a bit of silliness tonight!
One of the current crazes, if I believe the internet anyway (not always a reliable thing) is something that can best be described as a mermaid tail blanket. Fine, its mainly for children, but there seem to be more than a few for adults around, and I have to admit it, they do look fun. Yes, it might be fun to get into one of those, and stay there for a while, though I suspect that they are far too easy to get out of again, lol!
I know, might be better that way, especially as I suspect they are nigh impossible to move around in, while wearing, on land at least! And yes, blanket material is not ideal for mermaid life in water, anyway! But yes, agreed, if they are warm enough (and I have no idea how warm they are when worn?), it might be fun to sleep in one of those, rather than under a duvet, from time to time. Well, one of the full length ones at least would be fine for that?
I know, strictly they arent tails, as they are generally pretty much full body length, and by tradition, the mermaid tail tends to end at the hips/waist zone, above which they look like humans, but beside that… But fine, as blankets, you want them full length, lets face it.
Who, me? Yes, fine, I might enjoy (rather too much) one that was a ‘bit’ harder to get out of, once in it, than a blanket one, at least until I had to get out of it in the morning, to get up to go to work, I suspect! Oh alright, I’d also enjoy the ability to breathe underwater, but thats beside the point!
No, before you ask, I dont plan on actually buying one for myself, however cute I think they are. I’m one of those awkward Yorkshire folk who tend not to spend money unless I have good reason to do so, and a silly item like this doesnt count as an item I really need. But yes, I wont deny it, it would be fun to get into one of them. Oh alright, I’d find it even more fun to get into a more tight fitting one, just like a real mermaid tail, but anyway… 😉
Alright, while I’m admitting to these things, you know those onesie things? Yeah, I’d love a robot one, ideally not too loose a fit either, but pretty sure they dont even exist. Unlike mermaid tail blankets, or even mermaids…lol?
Right, the video. I found this on a random search on You Tube, know nothing more about it than that. But fine, it seemed apt, even if their tails are a bit more ‘real’ than the blanket ones!
One thing you quickly discover with the internet is that a lot of people are all talk, and no action. In other words, they come up with these interesting (to me at least) ideas, but when people actually show an interest in it, they just disappear again, as fast as they arrived. Yes, this looks like another one, much to my disappointment. Just over a week ago, over at Fembot Central, this headline appeared on a thread
An idea for actual conversion, looking for willing subjects!
So, unsurprisingly enough, I showed cautious interest. No, not cautious as in, do I want to be converted into a robot, because the answer clearly is yes! Even if its more of an organic, controlled robot, than anything more deliciously cybernetic, its a start!
His answers started impressively, answers clearly thought through for many issues, and not what I would call beyond potentially possible nowadays. Yes, EEG Caps, and Brain/Computer interface devices, rather than transformation pods, which fine, I would love, but practically, not going to happen for a while yet, in real life!
Anyway, after a weekend of dealing with the matter, seemingly quite professionally, everything has since gone quiet. So yes, I’m assuming it was never beyond a theory in his head, and is never going to happen in reality. Great shame, but am I totally surprised by this? No, not really! I’d love to be proved wrong, believe me I wouldnt, but I’m beginning to suspect he will never be seen, in a meaningful way again. I did send him a message on Skype, just to get a reply that he was trying to check on a couple of things, and would get back to me, but that was Tuesday, and not heard a thing! No, no plans to contact again, and no expectations of hearing anything now, either.
Fine, I was impressed when I saw it, though I couldnt see the practicality of someone controlling several (as was his plan) organic fembots on a long term basis, but I had to hope. Ah well…
On semi related news, the new book is progressing. I have the edited copy back, and if I can work out a way to buy the cover for it, it could be close to release. Snag is, due to the collapse of the pound, due to the Brexit campaign, I havent quite got enough on my pre paid credit card to pay $7 for the image. Minimum top up is £30 ($40), and the finances really arent solid enough this month for that, but fine, its going to be done, I guess?
Why is it related? Well, there is this thing, that generally, when creating robots, it involves a nice zap of electricity to the mind, or at least in the movies it does lol! And yes, a little bit of zapping might just be happening in my story, though not to transform anyone into a robot. Having got into the whole subject of ECT, its no surprise I decided to develop it into a story. I know, might hurt some sales, but might make others, who knows? Tackling something different might even prove to be a breakthrough moment? More likely make a few sales, and that will be it, knowing my luck! Yes, when available, I will advertise it, believe me!
In case anyone was wondering, no, I never got to do any more research on ECT treatment than I could find online. And I hate to break it to people who are against ECT, but the stuff you see in the movies, isnt general treatment nowadays! Yes, even a placebo walk through would have been helpful, and I did try for that. Not surprised I got no reply from local NHS, but I gave it a go. Yes, a low voltage session might have been even more informative, but practically, I wasnt expecting to get offered that! Bit like the guy offering to turn me into an organic robot, was never likely to happen!
Right, video time. You could jokingly say how a robot might think, especially an organically based one!
Last Sunday, given I had the house to myself, and being in a silly mood, I decided to do something I hadnt done since Christmas, and hadnt done decently since Hollywood, do a few selfies. But yes, the emphasis was, on being silly. So, I put on a metallic silver dress I bought cheap in Primark several years ago, and had probably never worn in the end, because of length issue (its above the knees, for heavens sake!), and to save people’s eyes, put on a pair of metallic silver leggings, to match.
Eventually, and I mean, eventually, I managed to get a couple of decent ones, so I saved them. Then, being extra silly, I went and got my Cyberman helmet that I still own, and did a few more wearing that. Believe me, you have no idea how much “fun” it is, trying to take pictures of yourself while wearing that!
Alright, that wasnt the end of the fun, as when I went to download them on to here, I couldnt find my USB connector to do so. So fine, I had a hunt around, still couldnt find it, so I paid out for a new one on Amazon. Yes, all of £4, so I’ll survive! So today, I finally got everything together, and loaded them on to here, and I thought I’d better share a couple.
So firstly, the full length one of me, dressed in a silver look, but before the Cybermen got me (I wish!)
Oh, and secondly, a close up one, after the Cybermen had upgraded me
If anyone wants to complete the process, properly for me, I’d love it! Equally, if anyone (within reasonable distance, ideally) wants to take some photos properly of me, dressed fully in silver, then feel free to offer. Snag, I’ve got no money to pay a fortune for images, just saying…
Right, the video. Well, who’s the most famous robot of all time, in my opinion at least? Yes, we’re talking about a 20’s creation here. Oh, lets see…