Well, I’m assuming it will be at least? As far as I can see, Transgender Day of Visibility, which was on Friday, was about the last landmark in LGBT history for a while, so I’m assuming I will now be able to drop back into quiet anonymity, much to the disappointment seemingly, of a number of my work colleagues. For those interested, the last article, which actually made the blog on the main Civil Service page, can be found here
Yes, I’m proud to be the spokeswoman for Transgender people in the Civil Service, dont get me wrong, and the ride has been amazing, but fine, the boring old biddy that I am would say that I go to work to do my daily job to the best of my ability, and thats the main thing. Fine, I have enjoyed the whole ride, but fine, getting back to ‘normality’ in Bradford will be a good thing to do.
I know someone will tell me otherwise, but I’m assuming that until the same landmarks come around next year, I can go back to being a dutiful Administrative Officer, and leave it at that? I have to say the reaction to everything at work has been amazing, and fine, I’ve quite enjoyed the teasing about my 15 minutes of fame at work too. Fine, it will go on until at least Wednesday, because someone is going to mention the article to the whole team at the staff meeting then, but after that, and probably before that, for people outside Bradford…
I know one thing, if I get this much publicity, and interviews during my stay in LA, I will be thrilled. If so, who knows where it might lead, but no, I’m not expecting that to happen. Except, well, maybe…? Helped someone with some research this morning, and it may lead to a filming opportunity when I’m in California, so I’m told, but I really will believe that when it happens! No, not Jimmy Fallon, yet! Nothing to do with transgender issues, but thats all I’m saying unless its likely to happen! 😛 Lets just say its something I would love to get involved in.
But now, as far as I know, life can go back to the reality of day to day work, with no interviews, no publicity, or nothing. Oh fine, a part of me is really going to miss that, but equally, getting back to just being another worker in the department, without all the other stuff, is probably better for my future prospects. Or maybe not? 😉
Video time. If you havent worked out the song, long before now, be ashamed! Thanks to Sarah for reminding me of this one.
After last nights rant, lets have a bit of silliness tonight!
One of the current crazes, if I believe the internet anyway (not always a reliable thing) is something that can best be described as a mermaid tail blanket. Fine, its mainly for children, but there seem to be more than a few for adults around, and I have to admit it, they do look fun. Yes, it might be fun to get into one of those, and stay there for a while, though I suspect that they are far too easy to get out of again, lol!
I know, might be better that way, especially as I suspect they are nigh impossible to move around in, while wearing, on land at least! And yes, blanket material is not ideal for mermaid life in water, anyway! But yes, agreed, if they are warm enough (and I have no idea how warm they are when worn?), it might be fun to sleep in one of those, rather than under a duvet, from time to time. Well, one of the full length ones at least would be fine for that?
I know, strictly they arent tails, as they are generally pretty much full body length, and by tradition, the mermaid tail tends to end at the hips/waist zone, above which they look like humans, but beside that… But fine, as blankets, you want them full length, lets face it.
Who, me? Yes, fine, I might enjoy (rather too much) one that was a ‘bit’ harder to get out of, once in it, than a blanket one, at least until I had to get out of it in the morning, to get up to go to work, I suspect! Oh alright, I’d also enjoy the ability to breathe underwater, but thats beside the point!
No, before you ask, I dont plan on actually buying one for myself, however cute I think they are. I’m one of those awkward Yorkshire folk who tend not to spend money unless I have good reason to do so, and a silly item like this doesnt count as an item I really need. But yes, I wont deny it, it would be fun to get into one of them. Oh alright, I’d find it even more fun to get into a more tight fitting one, just like a real mermaid tail, but anyway… 😉
Alright, while I’m admitting to these things, you know those onesie things? Yeah, I’d love a robot one, ideally not too loose a fit either, but pretty sure they dont even exist. Unlike mermaid tail blankets, or even mermaids…lol?
Right, the video. I found this on a random search on You Tube, know nothing more about it than that. But fine, it seemed apt, even if their tails are a bit more ‘real’ than the blanket ones!
One thing you quickly discover with the internet is that a lot of people are all talk, and no action. In other words, they come up with these interesting (to me at least) ideas, but when people actually show an interest in it, they just disappear again, as fast as they arrived. Yes, this looks like another one, much to my disappointment. Just over a week ago, over at Fembot Central, this headline appeared on a thread
An idea for actual conversion, looking for willing subjects!
So, unsurprisingly enough, I showed cautious interest. No, not cautious as in, do I want to be converted into a robot, because the answer clearly is yes! Even if its more of an organic, controlled robot, than anything more deliciously cybernetic, its a start!
His answers started impressively, answers clearly thought through for many issues, and not what I would call beyond potentially possible nowadays. Yes, EEG Caps, and Brain/Computer interface devices, rather than transformation pods, which fine, I would love, but practically, not going to happen for a while yet, in real life!
Anyway, after a weekend of dealing with the matter, seemingly quite professionally, everything has since gone quiet. So yes, I’m assuming it was never beyond a theory in his head, and is never going to happen in reality. Great shame, but am I totally surprised by this? No, not really! I’d love to be proved wrong, believe me I wouldnt, but I’m beginning to suspect he will never be seen, in a meaningful way again. I did send him a message on Skype, just to get a reply that he was trying to check on a couple of things, and would get back to me, but that was Tuesday, and not heard a thing! No, no plans to contact again, and no expectations of hearing anything now, either.
Fine, I was impressed when I saw it, though I couldnt see the practicality of someone controlling several (as was his plan) organic fembots on a long term basis, but I had to hope. Ah well…
On semi related news, the new book is progressing. I have the edited copy back, and if I can work out a way to buy the cover for it, it could be close to release. Snag is, due to the collapse of the pound, due to the Brexit campaign, I havent quite got enough on my pre paid credit card to pay $7 for the image. Minimum top up is £30 ($40), and the finances really arent solid enough this month for that, but fine, its going to be done, I guess?
Why is it related? Well, there is this thing, that generally, when creating robots, it involves a nice zap of electricity to the mind, or at least in the movies it does lol! And yes, a little bit of zapping might just be happening in my story, though not to transform anyone into a robot. Having got into the whole subject of ECT, its no surprise I decided to develop it into a story. I know, might hurt some sales, but might make others, who knows? Tackling something different might even prove to be a breakthrough moment? More likely make a few sales, and that will be it, knowing my luck! Yes, when available, I will advertise it, believe me!
In case anyone was wondering, no, I never got to do any more research on ECT treatment than I could find online. And I hate to break it to people who are against ECT, but the stuff you see in the movies, isnt general treatment nowadays! Yes, even a placebo walk through would have been helpful, and I did try for that. Not surprised I got no reply from local NHS, but I gave it a go. Yes, a low voltage session might have been even more informative, but practically, I wasnt expecting to get offered that! Bit like the guy offering to turn me into an organic robot, was never likely to happen!
Right, video time. You could jokingly say how a robot might think, especially an organically based one!
Last Sunday, given I had the house to myself, and being in a silly mood, I decided to do something I hadnt done since Christmas, and hadnt done decently since Hollywood, do a few selfies. But yes, the emphasis was, on being silly. So, I put on a metallic silver dress I bought cheap in Primark several years ago, and had probably never worn in the end, because of length issue (its above the knees, for heavens sake!), and to save people’s eyes, put on a pair of metallic silver leggings, to match.
Eventually, and I mean, eventually, I managed to get a couple of decent ones, so I saved them. Then, being extra silly, I went and got my Cyberman helmet that I still own, and did a few more wearing that. Believe me, you have no idea how much “fun” it is, trying to take pictures of yourself while wearing that!
Alright, that wasnt the end of the fun, as when I went to download them on to here, I couldnt find my USB connector to do so. So fine, I had a hunt around, still couldnt find it, so I paid out for a new one on Amazon. Yes, all of £4, so I’ll survive! So today, I finally got everything together, and loaded them on to here, and I thought I’d better share a couple.
So firstly, the full length one of me, dressed in a silver look, but before the Cybermen got me (I wish!)
Oh, and secondly, a close up one, after the Cybermen had upgraded me
If anyone wants to complete the process, properly for me, I’d love it! Equally, if anyone (within reasonable distance, ideally) wants to take some photos properly of me, dressed fully in silver, then feel free to offer. Snag, I’ve got no money to pay a fortune for images, just saying…
Right, the video. Well, who’s the most famous robot of all time, in my opinion at least? Yes, we’re talking about a 20’s creation here. Oh, lets see…
I meant to post about this in the previous blog, but I forgot…Yes, I’m blonde! So you can have the full length story, covered across from my other blog
Oh goody, you’re in for a video treat tonight. Lets leave it at that, for the length of the blog, at least.
At the beginning of this week, on Fembot Central, someone wanted a woman to do a vocal piece, a half of a conversation between a man, and a fembot. So yes, I said that if no one younger offered to do it, I’d do it for him. I have done these things in the dim, distant past, long before you could record it on to a program, on a laptop, for sure.
And yes, seemingly, its a bit like riding a bike, I soon got the hang of it again, just like reading a script. Fine, its a bit weird, doing your line, waiting a few seconds, and then recording your next line, to give him space to edit his lines into the middle of it. I’ve read scripts before like that, but all players have been there, so its easier to judge the pace. When you’re recording by yourself, hmm?
The other snag I discovered, when it came to do my lines, was exactly how robotic I was meant to be, I forgot to ask. Yes, I know, I was pretty sure he didnt want the monotone robot style, given she was a fembot, created to look like a human. So I played it in a clipped, human way, apart from where she was having difficulties with a malfunction in her system.
Actually, for someone like me, not an expert in technology, I had more fun getting it together, and sending it back to him! I mean, I’m the one who wants to be controlled by computers, not controlling them! Yes, the .wav things (I did one where I used the letter b, one where I used beta, as I wasnt sure which he wanted) I saved them as, was very large, and wasnt going to willingly be sent by email, not even separately. Eventually, the technical blunder girl saved it to her One Drive thing on Hotmail, and sent him the link! Yes, I mean, if we needed it recorded, we were all in one place, and put it on to a tape recorder, or cassette recorder!
Yes, fine, I loved the experience, it was great fun doing something like that again, after so many years. No, I dont think the tape will be going to Hollywood studios, even if it was fun. I’ll see how much he liked my voice, if I passed, I might be doing more. Yes, I’d love a contract, with decent money, for doing these things, but realistically…nope!
So, to that video. In honesty, Ultravox created some great videos. Vienna is the obvious well known one, but the barely known Passing Strangers is one I love, for the whole vintage feel. This one is just plain powerful, and far superior to the other one they made, for this song
Seemingly, you should buy me some chocolate! And believe me when I say, that I wont say no, if you offer it! Oh, and not only that, its the perfect time to treat me, seeing its my birthday on Wednesday. Yes, I’m 29, or at least a multiple thereof, and be careful what you say, on that point lol! No, I’m not joking about chocolate, read this!
Mind, if you are getting me some, I would prefer something decent, but this poor church mouse wouldnt say no to any treats at present, I guess? I know, fine, I’m not going to have a dozen messages (or even one, probably) asking where to send the chocolate in the morning, but at least for now, I can dream! Bottles of alcohol might be nice, but not sure how wise that would be, given how I feel at present, but anyway…
Mind, if anyone is offering the opportunity for the opposite result to be done to me, turned into a mindless, obedient machine, it might be more fun than the current battle for a job, and besides, post treatment, I wouldnt concern myself too much with that option anyway lol! I know, I know, but… If someone just wants to give me the treat of pretending to do it to me, as a birthday treat, I’d love it, btw.
In all honesty, of all the 58 upcoming birthdays I’ve had in my life (I know, the first few I wasnt terribly aware of, but), I’ve got to say this is probably the one I’ve looked forward to, with the least enthusiasm. Yes, the working situation is probably a great part of it, after all this time, its really got to me. But yes, apart from that, its that growing realisation that my time here, is probably now on the down side of the hill, not that I suspect at the moment, I really mind that fact. Not helping on that front is so many music heroes of my youth departing this world at present. I know most are a decade or so ahead of me, but even so, it does make you think!
I suppose my one regret, that seemingly gets less likely to happen over the years, is the fact that I’ve never worked anywhere other than the UK, in my life. Maybe it annoys me more because it almost happened on a few occasions, but for whatever reason, never did. Lets face it, how many firms outside the UK are going to take a chance on a 58 year old? Yes, exactly! I know, turning down that US job offer in 2003, is going to haunt me to my grave, I suspect? It might still happen, but being practical, probably not, now.
So, beyond chocolate, what would I like for my birthday, you might be asking, but I doubt it! A job would be the obvious answer, anywhere reasonable, and nowadays, that covers a larger range of locations than a year ago! Fine, LA would be heavenly, but this is real life, not a Golden Age Hollywood movie I’m living! Mind, if anyone wants me to recreate the Marion Davies story, with me in the Marion role, I wouldnt say no!
For those (ha ha) that want to spend slightly more budget on me, I could do with a small second hand chest of drawers, for my room. Maybe 2, depending on size, maybe a small wardrobe (fabric type would be fine), so that I can get my clothes sorted out, without worrying about spending money!
I might not say no to a full length, silver metallic bodysuit, with or without mind controlling electrodes, but…yes, I’m kidding, I think, or maybe not? 😉
Lastly, should there be a very rich person out there, with more money than sense, I’d love another 4 weeks in the sun, in an apartment, in Hollywood! I know, I know, but if I dont mention that, and there is some crazy millionaire out there…ha ha!
But yes, fine, if you want to get me a bar of Bournville chocolate, or similar at present, thats good by me! Might even make me smarter, you never know?
The video, well yes, the song is old, was released when I was about 6! This version though, is a live one from 2009, still sounding pretty good. Yes, song could be quite apt? 😉
Yes, I know, this is a bit overdue, but the last couple of days have been a little crazy, and a little depressing. But anyway, must push on, and besides an interview this morning went better, so…
I know, shock horror, I actually cinched one of those competency test things this morning, now move on to a proper interview on Tuesday morning, so fingers crossed for that. But yes, I must admit, the last couple of days, prior to today, I had began to feel the lack of a new job getting to me, but hopefully I’m over that hump now. Otherwise, I might have been suggesting that modern technology, and a brain/computer interface, and an interview competency download into my mind might be a wise move! Might still be, and I’d certainly enjoy it, so if anyone is offering lol…? 😉
I suppose the most amusing thing that has happened over the last couple of days, was being asked to do a survey by a recruitment agency re a job I applied for with them, the snag being they never even contacted me about it. Or indeed a previous one I applied for with them, so unsurprisingly, their marks were less than stellar! Seriously, dont they check these things before sending them out, or do they just send it to the __th candidate who applies to them blindly? Who knows?
And on top of everything else, it seems like summer might have arrived, though probably not for long. Was out earlier in a top, and skirt, to put something in the post. Well, actually the top is a very short dress (as in above the knee), but I’m too old to wear it as that, I feel. Maybe I should, but given the surgically battered state of my knees, probably not? Oh, thats the other thing, while I’m getting that download. A new, young looking, Harlow lookalike body would be handy, do the download into that, along with the rest of me! Yes, I know, I wish!
Oh, and talking of Jean, I promise you a blog on Sunday, if nothing else, as that is a very sad anniversary, that I certainly want to cover.
So fine, I want a cute, plastic (or metal) body, as a good looking blonde, so lets see. No, not Aqua, I’m not that cruel. So instead, here is the excellent Postmodern Jukebox version of that song.
Come on Jeannie, lets go party!
Judging by some of the stuff I’ve seen in the last couple of days, its either a good thing, or a shame that I’m coming to the end of my working career, as I suspect finding work, for simple humans might be a lot harder in the next 20 years or so.
Oh, you want examples, oh fine
In a sense, this concept might actually make it easier for people to find work, though I suspect that the pay levels may drop, because just about anyone could do it! Just imagine, you need someone to do a specific job, you just slip this memory cell into their mind, and they know exactly how to do this complex task. Yes, at present, its far from that point, but fast forward things 10, or 20 years, and…
And yes, I suspect at that point in the future, being able to think just like your favourite movie star (or whoever), for a large fee, you get my drift? And yes, to have the thoughts of Jean Harlow wafting through my mind, you bet I would!
Of course, by then, you may not need to leave home to go to work
So fine, they arent actually turning the people into robots (you cant have everything in life), but I must admit, the idea of working as a robot being appeals to me no end. As I did say to someone though, given that there would be no need for said person to be in the country, let alone the shop itself, how would it affect national employment rules? Would you be regarded as an employee in the country you’re in, or the country you’re working in?
Oh, and lastly, when you are just thinking you’re safe, dont bet on it!
See, robots are already far smarter than you think? 😉
As I say, maybe its for the best that I’m only 10 years from retirement lol! Though if you’re offering to turn me into one of those working robots, or fit me with those memory cells… 😉
Right, the video. Not so much are friends electric, as are robots electric, and replacing humans?
A brief (well, relatively brief) look at what happened yesterday, the build up, and after. Some of it serious, some of it, slightly more light hearted, you decide which!
Well, thats it all settled now, losing control of my mind for a few hours tomorrow. I know whats been agreed on, and hypnosis can only make you do what you want to do, but…Given my robot fantasies in the past, would it really be that hard to keep me in that mechanised state? Bit late to worry about that now, girl, and I never back out of things, so…
Pack bag with a few outfits, one silver set, a couple of 20’s look things too, as that is something else to greatly look forward to. Oh, and a pair of heels, darlings, an absolute must!
Friday morning, first thing
Breakfast. Nothing out of the ordinary, its not like a condemned persons final meal, I will be becoming myself again at the end of the session, after all. And unless Lex has developed the first robotisation chamber, or a time travel machine (flapper in 1920’s), I should be fine. He hasnt told me of either, but he wouldnt, would he? 😉
Train journeys, pretty much straightforward, quite a surprise with Trans Pennine to be honest, that was my main concern of the day, getting to Manchester in time for the connection. We were a couple of minutes late arriving, but nothing to worry about. Train to Chester also arrives a few minutes late, nice to see Arriva Wales are that way inclined too.
Meet up with Lex, get taken to his place, and plied with coffee. Seriously, he thinks he can put me to sleep after 2 cups of coffee, he must be good. Oh fine, in time we get down to business, and what do you know, he could put me to sleep (strictly in trance) very easily, despite said caffeine. I know, I didnt want to resist, but…
I would say its fascinating being a mindless robot, but given that in that state, you cant really think, I’m not sure how strictly true that conclusion is? Kind of blissful, I guess, though some might see it strange as just obeying commands, and not able to do anything about it. oh, I’m pretty sure he made me forget my human name, but a robot wouldnt want to remember that anyway! No robot designation given, but I think thats because we both know nowadays, there’s someone else I’d rather be long term, the sweet, but sassy flapper!
So, my mind gets introduced to my new ‘temporary’ self, Mary Lou, said flapper, aged 22! She’s great fun! Saucy, sexy, and out to have a good time, while she’s allowed to. I know there was a condition put in, so she wouldnt panic at all the modern surroundings, but I cant remember the details (or I’m not allowed to, one or the other). Talk about turning me into a sex kitten, I was amazed myself! She’s not good at alcohol though (coloured water, actually), and gets a bit giggly when she starts drinking wine.
After that, I remember a session as a fembot sales girl, where I started off thinking I was a human, selling them, but am then led to believe that I might be one too! Dont think I sold myself anyway, lol! Then a purring, sexy Domme, with her hypnotic pendant, now that was fun! Clearly out of order, couldnt get Lex under my control! Beyond getting him to leave me as Mary Lou, I’m not sure what orders I would have given him though!
Then back to the sassy, Mary Lou for a while, until my tummy rumbled too loudly at least, and ‘she’ was asked if she was getting hungry. She was! So soon after that, things were brought to a climax, and I was returned back to normal, though only after a trigger to leave Mary Lou in charge for the rest of the day (with the same no freaking out about modern day things) was set up. To be honest, I’m only sorry to see her go after last night, she was such fun to be!
It made the train journey back quite interesting, a whole new perspective on things to be honest, looking at it through ‘her’ eyes at least. TPE finished the day off, by sitting outside Huddersfield station for about 15 minutes, before finally going into the station, not everything could be perfect after all.
I was torn last night. Whether it was the time in trance that did it, or the travelling, or both, but I felt tired. I didnt want to lose her, but about 11.00 I gave up the battle, and went to bed.
Whatever it was, I slept like a log, a rare event for me. Sadly, when I did wake up, Mary Lou was gone, back to the old me again, ah well…Somehow I suspect that at some point, I’m going to have to get Lex to put her back in my mind as a trigger, even if as a controllable one, with me in charge! Shame, as she might feel quite at home dressed 20’s style tonight when I go out for dinner, for Nicole’s birthday. May, or may not wear the flapper dress, as I call it, its a bit short anyway, even more so for mid January! We will see.
So, in review
It was a wonderful, and fun day, and I’m really, really glad I did it, so many thanks to Lex, for letting me fulfil 2 big time fantasies, both robot, and flapper girl. For the future, I’d pick the flapper girl every time. I’m very glad I discovered what life as a robot is like, but the flapper thing is so much more fun, and far more me, nowadays too.
In case anyone was wondering, yes, it was filmed, and yes, I will be getting a copy, might have more idea of everything that went on when I watch it! He does normally sell his films, but those models are younger, and remove a few more clothes than I was ever going to! He has got permission to use it if he wants to, but I suspect the market for someone like me is a lot more limited. If however, you want to see me hypnotised, and obedient, then maybe you should let us know!
The video, something else entirely. I didnt mention, Lex has got a cute puppy called Honey, who even a cat person like me could adore. So given I’ve used up a good number of 20’s videos already, lets go with this
As I mentioned just over a year ago, I have a fascination with all things robot, and what it would be like to be transformed into one. As I also mentioned back then, the fantasy, and facing the practical reality of it about to happen to me are probably two totally different matters! Well, maybe at least? 😉 Its probably not helped nowadays by the fact that I work with a computer all day at work, though currently I control it, not the other way around, and as far as I know, the headset has no effect on my mind either! Apart from anything else, the way its designed, it slips off my head far too easily when I’m looking up and down from paperwork for that to be likely anyway lol! Personally, I’d prefer a headset that would stay on my head better, a skullcap type headset, and not just for the robot thing, it would be easier if I wasnt having to wonder about whether it was going to stay on my head or not! I suppose it could be done, redesigning a cycle helmet or something? Cant see work doing it though, I’d be the only one who wanted one like that anyway lol!
But yes, if any designer (or someone who knows a designer) could come up with something like that, I would appreciate it. Having it so that it could control my mind in any way is purely optional extra lol! Having a headset that stayed on my head would be a good start! No, I dont need a silver bodysuit to wear at work, though agreed, especially with said headset, it might be fun doing so! Might make going out to get lunch a bit tricky though lol! It also would make a certain bodily function quite complex too, unless the suit has very robotic effects! Whether management would prefer obedient, robotic workers, no comment whatsoever! Might make training for new roles easier, just download it into our minds lol!
I suppose one day I might get hypnotised, and experience what life as a robot is like, but suspect thats as far as it will ever get. I might get roleplay for robotisation, or brainwashing, something that might be interesting to experience, more so if the person doing so made it feel very real of course. If anyone wants to offer to help with either, or again, knows someone who could help with either…?
Right, what bought all this on, you might ask? Well, about 10 years ago, some Canadian TV company was looking for people to discuss the whole robot thing, and I got involved. I assume they were either in the UK for something else, or used a local company or something, rather than flying across the Atlantic to see me, but who knows? Funny thing is, I never got to see the interview, or programme! No, I dont remember any details now, strangely enough, beyond the fact it was filmed in an exotic location, my bedroom in London! Just a few days ago, National Geographic were advertising for people to interview for a programme they are planning to make about the whole fembot scene. No, I wont be taking part, their location expenses mean they are only doing interviews in North America, so…Mind, I did say I wanted a more interesting location, but the situation wont arise now, and not just because of that!
Being honest, this is probably as exciting a revelation as you’re ever likely to get out of me on here. Well apart from those who dont realise I’m pre-op transgendered, but what havent you been reading if you didnt know that? Beyond this kink, I’m as dull as they get lol!
Right, the video, well again the clue is in the title, though not so many may know this song. Oh, and coincidence, a new version of this will be on the OMD album released in April, but more on that later. Lets just say that outfit, first seen worn by the woman at 46 seconds, might be fun! A Maria type Metropolis one (as also featured), even more so, but dont think thats as easily, or cheaply created!
If you want to kiss this ‘machine’, you need to make me a machine first lol!