OK, fine, this one doesnt fit in with the general blog sequence, but given it relates to a picture taken of me today, and is something a bit silly, and fun, and its posted everywhere else but the blogs, I thought I’d throw it up quickly here.
As mentioned yesterday, I decided not to bother with waiting for the hair to fall out, I decided to get rid of most of it yesterday, as the silver bob wig had arrived, and roll with that while at home for weekend. I also have a very old (nearly 15 years old) silver Lycra bodysuit, which I can report I can still get into, though the zip no longer functions, hardly a great surprise. But anyway, put the two together, along with a silver top, to help keep me warm, and…arrange to get a photo taken, this one in fact,
Now the wig isnt amazing, but given it cost about £7 ($10). thats hardly the biggest shock in the whole world, but it will do for this. The ‘bulge’ is actually the connection point for the zip on the back brace, in case anyone thought it might be another trans girl issue, lol. No, believe me, that is miniscule nowadays!
The amusing moment from all this is that the 2 better quality redhead wigs were marked to be delivered on Monday, so wearing this all day (given picture wasnt being taken until teatime) wasnt going to be a problem, as no one would be calling until then, and Linda knew the plan anyway. So yes, the doorbell goes about noon, its the delivery man with the parcel with the wigs in it. Not that I really cared, answered the door, got the parcel, and…he didnt say anything, but didnt hang around more than a few seconds either!
I must admit the silver lycra bodysuit with ‘extras’ had its advantages to wear, and its disadvantages too. The big advantage, extra support for my spine, which was heaven in truth, could do with at least a dozen (15?) with a working zip (sponsorship deal?), both for support, and for the fact that the table set up for treatment isnt designed to support a damaged spine, and they would help. Why so many? Well simply, 5 days a week, with 15-20 miles of travel in each direction for radiotherapy plus waiting for transport home afterwards, I’m not going to have time for matters like laundry and the like for the 6 weeks of radiotherapy. Oh, and lets face it, if you think I wont want to do more with a silver wig, and silver bodysuits, well… Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to help with that matter. Need to get suits in UK for delivery here soon, thats all, as treatment starts on 28th.
(Note for those getting both blogs, though not identical, close enough for most)
Fine, video. Not Dawn’s greatest hit, by any stretch of the imagination, but the title tweak works, OK?
Well yes, the big decision has been made, the hair (or pretty much all of it) is going before the radiotherapy, and chemo gets to influence the matter. In truth, I cannot even vaguely remember the last time I went over 7 months without getting my hair cut, but tomorrow marks the day that I finally catch up with it. I will probably just go for pretty much a ‘enough to leave a minimal something’ cut, rather than getting rid of every last hair, especially as the only wig I have actually got at the moment is the silver bob one, though the 2 redhead (1 bob, 1 just below shoulders), better quality ones are due for delivery by 21st (Monday) at the latest, and in truth, I have no known reason why I would need to go out before then anyway. So, the only one really likely to see the ‘silver robot’ is Linda when she calls at the weekend anyway, assuming the redhead ones dont arrive earlier. Well, the robot will need to put the dustbin on Sunday, but if you think I’m going to worry about that, lol?
Funny thing is, it wont be my first time of using a wig by any means, as in the transition period, between 2003, and 2009, my standard way of doing things was keeping my own hair short, and then using a wig for all the girl moments, so…
Yes, I did try to get the silver wig on already, but seriously, my hair is now far too long, and amazingly thick for anything like that to work well. But tomorrow afternoon… I might, or might not pass on wearing one of my old silver lycra suits (assuming I can still get in them, they are well over 10 years old) at some point over the weekend too!
Funny thing is, after tomorrow, I cant be a bobbed blonde again until the 29th, at the earliest. Did think it was going to be 24th, but had a call this morning changing the appointment to a better day for the team, which is fine by me. In truth, I had plans of going redhead anyway, before all this happened, but will be fun to have options, anyway. Still going in on 24th anyway, to meet the team providing my treatments, so as long as they arent expecting a blonde, lol? Long haired redhead, might be fun!
Then beyond getting the letter from the Doctor’s to confirm the ‘unfit to work in a call centre’, as voice, and mouth are still not working right, or likely to be anytime soon, on top of the treatment/recovery period issue, for which I’ve already told them I dont need before Monday, and sent off to work, thats pretty much everything prepared forms wise, other than when the PIP (Independence payment) forms arrive, which could be, you tell me! Hopefully before 28th, as my time will get more limited after that, but other than that…
OK, no rhinestones, unless someone wants to provide me with a suitable dress (that would be fun), but some might regard me as a bit of a cowgirl, so…
To be honest, its worked out for the best that I had the taxi drive home from hell yesterday afternoon, which meant that all I wanted to do yesterday evening was have an evening watching baseball (though sadly the Dodgers lost, after I’d gone to bed), and not writing up blogs, as I can now cheat, and cover 2 days of news in one blog.
Oh, the taxi driver, no wonder the NHS funds are needed, because he cheated the route home so much, that fare must have been nearly double what it needed to be, but anyway. I was going to report him to Leeds City Council over it, but unsurprisingly, given everything now, I cant remember his licence number, so sadly he will now get away with it, but anyway…
Yesterday afternoon was the day the plan got sorted out, and signed off. I also delighted myself by finding out my walking distance without hurting myself, is getting better, though we are still talking in terms of about 100 yards, than London Marathon stuff, lol. Still, Occupational Therapy in Leeds on Friday morning will hopefully see a bit more improvement too. Other than that, a bit of Speech Therapy help to be arranged, not because words arent right, though still faint, more down to the fact that I have a dribble issue at moment, though even that seems far less today, good news. Other thing is a Social Help contact, to sort out things like Disabled Bus pass, postal vote stuff,and the letter I need so that work can take the last step for medical retirement process. But as that couldnt be done before I agreed plan yesterday afternoon…
Plan is to start Radiotherapy in about 3 weeks time, for a period of 6 weeks, 5 days a week. Some might be shrewd enough to notice, that the exact start date is going to mean it might be over just before Christmas/New Year period, or just after, no guarantees either way, but holiday period, no treatments anyway, quite rightly. I will be doing Chemo tablets too during this period, and then do a few more of those in the 6 month period that follows too, but only a handful or so. I’ve been told that I need to allow about 4 weeks after that to get over the treatment, and then about a couple more weeks or so before contemplating flying or anything, all fine by me. Which in my eyes, gives me a probable date to do much at all as towards the end of February in likelihood. No promises on date, but it looks a fair date to me, with an anniversary on the horizon, March 15th, the first big seizure!
Just after the time, the lovely people at the guest house, sent me an email re the 3 nights that we never stayed there, saying the credit would stand for future use when I needed them. To be fair, I doubt they imagined it would take a year to get to that point, but it will. So, being the polite, and fair lady I am, I just asked if that date would still be fine to use it. Took about 20 minutes to get an email back confirming it would, so…Kudos to Pelham Lodge Guest House, Blackpool! No, Film Festival is later next year, but there is still the matter of the tram journey I never completed…
OK, end piece, got the call this morning, going to Leeds on Thursday afternoon to get measured for my plastic mask that will be used to direct the treatment to the needed area. Will also have CT, and blood test done on same trip, to give them the base settings they need pre treatment. As a few friends would know, I’d prefer a full face Iron Mask, rather than a positioned plastic one, but hey, its a start! Maybe the latter can follow post treatment, lol?
Right, to video now. One of my favourite groups of all time, one of their very early hits, live
I suppose, to be fair its a bit of a case of swings, and roundabouts, in that if I wasnt off work because of my brain issues, I wouldnt be in a position to accept a one off acting part, but equally, if I hadnt had the last seizure on the weekend I was meant to have my MRI done, I’d possibly have been free by now to fly to the US, and signed off from standard work on the ground of said brain issues, so I could have considered such a role. Ah well…
Mind, even then, currently I wouldnt consider flying to LA to film a short movie, if it wasnt for what the part what. Yes, a female robot! Yes, the request for an actress to play such a role appeared on the most obvious site for it to appear, Fembot Central. I’ve no idea what type of robot he was looking for, because there was no age limit mentioned, and there was no mention of it requiring a ‘sexy’ robot either. No, my big problem was the fact he wanted to get it filmed in the next few weeks, judging by his comments, and strictly I’m grounded at present because of the brain seizures until they find out whats actually causing them. Even allowing for the fact that the MRI is only 2 weeks tomorrow, its still going to take a while after that for the results to be looked at, the neurologist to give me the news, and then get any travel plans sorted out, lets face it.
But yes, I still decided to write, show some interest, but as I suspected, he looking to film it in the next 2-3 weeks, while not mentioning that my age would be a problem. Yes, I mentioned my 35 years of dramatics (including a couple of brief robot playing moments), which lets face it, gives a major clue that I’m not a cute 20 something, lol. I thought that was a neat way of mentioning the age thing, dont you reckon? Didnt seem to concern him, just my immediate availability (or lack of it) that was the problem. Of course, in these ‘sue at any excuse’ days, he may have just used that as a workaround from not saying I was too old! Of course, if the actress is wearing a robot mask/hood, or a full body robot suit, that wouldnt be a concern would it? Given he mentioned a voice track, and playing the robot as separate concerns, not just as one, I suspect the face might well be covered, if not the whole body?
Yes, you’re right, I’d love it all the more, the more I’m a robot, and the less I’m a human, anyway! Thats right, neither previous robot piece got me any kind of chrome body/face covering, shame! But no, I’m too sweet to hope that he might not find anyone for a few months, but anyway…
But yes, I dont deny it, I’d love the chance to do the full robot look (the fuller the better) just once before I accept I have to give up on the acting stuff, because of everything. Either acting, or a convention robot, or well, make an offer!
So yes, it hurts, but equally, if it wasnt for the issue with my brain which needs looking into, I wouldnt think about anything like this, before retirement anyway, ah well…
Oh, I have got a friend going to one of these convention things in Atlanta this weekend, and saying he’ll look for a robot/space girl/alien outfit for me, but I suspect at a sensible price, the latter two are more likely. Mind, they’d be a lot of fun regardless, I must say!
OK, video time. The voice might be the same, but its not the OMD version, its the original Elektric Music one. Yes, Andy McCluskey sang on both! The video is a more recent addition, put together by someone from a 2014 film, Automata.
For any ‘snowflakes’ or similarly delicate people reading this, you might want to move on quickly, internal bits issues. All others duly warned, tale of the day.
So yes, I finally was here, the big day when I was going to get a clue about my fate in life. The ‘entertainment’ started early, as I was trying to convince my body to provide the required urine sample. My mixed up plumbing decided it didnt want to play ball, and in trying to push it out, I set off my occasional bowels issue ((blockage), and I just locked up completely for about 50 painful minutes, with nothing coming out either end, though both ends needed to, and I could feel it. Eventually I won on one front, then the sample bottle got filled rapidly an hour or so later, so…
One first today, the use of a blue disabled badge for me, in a parking space. Fine, it was Eric’s, but in truth, but for him having one, I’d probably need one now. Got weighed, 83 kg/ 183 lbs which is a bit higher than it was, but lets face it, I can hardly do much exercise in last 3 months, I’ve hardly got any mobility, but anyway… This does strictly make me slightly overweight by a few pounds, but nothing dramatic (just checked).
Then on to the doctor, and a discussion of things. Thankfully Ella was with me, as I literally remember nothing about any of my seizures, and she at least saw the last one, so was able to give details. The doctor then wanted to test my balance, by walking one foot literally in front of the other, but my balance is wrecked by my damaged knees, so it didnt get far!
The end results. my medication level has been doubled (or will be after transition week), but I was on lowest level up to now, so hopefully not a big thing. I’m also being booked in for an EEG test (to see if they can locate the issue), and then an MRI test (to see if I’ve got a brain. No, seriously, to see if its any more than epilepsy), which should happen over the next 4 weeks or so. Seems it might be related to a fall out of a loft 32 years ago, though not definitely, but it could kick in now, wow! No decision on freedom to fly until after MRI, which makes sense, but will be fine if just epilepsy, which lets hope it is, as crazy as that sounds!
I asked about work, he didnt seem as hot on the ‘never work again’ thing as some, but equally, he was talking about a year or so of recovery, and I am 61, and would then be 62, and would retire at 66, so… Besides which, my voice breaks down under stress, so could hardly do my current job, so I think it almost certainly is it, but again, lets see what the brain scan says. Famous last words… But seriously, given it all, and my lack of mobility, I think retirement on medical grounds is a certainty. In theory, I could do a non phone job, but it takes me a lot longer to do anything, so…nope!
I stated I was Intersex, but didnt ask questions about compatibility between the epilepsy pills, and female hormones. I’ll leave that for my own doctor, lol. But yes, if retired, and allowed, it is a pledge I made, lol.
That, pretty much was it. Collect my new prescription, collected some cash to get my hair done (coloured and cut) on way home. Yes, would love it done this way, but I suspect I will have to settle for modern methods
So no, seemingly I dont get the full robot bodysuit just yet, lol. But yes, I’m looking forward to the EEG, and MRI ‘messing around’ with my mind, all the same. 😉 Yeah, I wish! Mind, if anyone wants to provide me with one, fully interfacing or otherwise…?
Right, video time. What someone might be doing, when it comes to my brain, shortly?
Before anyone gets too concerned about this, check the publication date, just saying…
Saturday saw me get my letter from the local National Health Service, re my Neurology appointment date. Yes, June 18th. I know, British folk, about par for the ‘free’ National Health Service over here (strictly its paid out of our wage deductions over here). Some of my US friends would say “So long?” but fine, if I had £10K to spare (or Medical insurance cover for that), I could probably get seen to in next couple of weeks. but unless any generous ‘chaperone’ is offering me that sort of money, not going to happen. No, I havent got the looks of Marion Davies, and I dont know anyone with the wealth of William R Hearst! So…
Anyone, given that they know something is wrong with my brain, and someone (no, it wasnt me, honest) has told them about my brainwashing kinks, they’ve decided to take the logical outcome, wipe my organic brain clean, then replace it with a nice AI unit, that will ‘act’ like me, but will in truth be a robotic machine, within a human body (though they are considering the matching robot body, I’m told). In truth, my only disappointment, the fact I’ve got to wait until the middle of June for this to happen!
OK, yes, its April 1st, one of those paragraphs is the truth, the other is total fabrication. Yes, sadly, its the second paragraph that is the ‘April Fool’, unless you want to tell me, and arrange otherwise. Because if it could be, the only thing in the second paragraph that would then be true would be my disappointment at it taking so long to get it done! I must admit, I’m looking forward to have a brain MRI, and EEG done, for all the wrong reasons, or shall we just say my fantasies will be running wild while its all being done.
I’ll be honest, I discovered today just how weak its all left me. I had to go into Huddersfield today to provide the certificate showing that I’m unfit to work at present. That’s dated until 30th April, but as the Doctors all said, I’m not going anywhere near any work until after my brain has been upgraded. Sorry, medically checked out, yes, I wish! So now we know that’s not before 18th June, and then will need the results after that, its going to be the end of June, at best. All medical advice recently, suggests I’m not going back. Having walked a few hundred yards between where I was dropped off this morning (Thanks, Ella) to deliver said certificate, and back, and how exhausted I’ve been afterwards, they’re right, I’m sure. Well, unless my brain/body, does get the robot makeover (oh, please…) at least.
So as I say, partly fact, partly fool. If someone does want to make the fool part fact, I couldnt be happier, but seriously… I know, a year ago, I could walk miles in Seattle, even with my back issues, now 200 yards is a challenge! So that automated, cybernetic robot body, oh yes please! Yes, brainwashed, and totally mindlessly obedient would be seen as a bonus, and thats no fool!
Right, video time. Yes, I would love this done to me, seriously, and as my brainwashing fantasies go, this pretty much fits the bill. It is Batman, but this is the 1940’s version, not the better known 1960’s version. But the brainwashing helmet over your head, the control unit literally on your head, well… Where’s this kind of man when you need one, when your brain is malfunctioning, lol?
Happy April Fools Day, unless you want to show me otherwise? 😉
My grateful thanks to Stacie, for having posted this picture on my Facebook page for when I returned from Physio this morning. I’ve been having even more issues than normal for the last 10 days or so, with issues with my hips, and muscles at the top of leg area, as well as the standard ones with my back. Yes, seems my body has decided to compensate for the damage in my lower spine/back, and now of course those affected areas are starting to get sore because of it. I did offer to get a body upgrade to a nice robot one (ideally in chrome), but she just laughed, primarily because its not really an option at this time, lol, lets face it! Unless you know better…? 😉
Then, as I say, I got home, and eventually got on to Facebook, and found that Stacie had posted this picture on my timeline
Oh please, talk about my dream bedroom, all in metallic silver… Not sure I could wear anything but silver bodysuits if I lived in a room/house like that, but I wouldnt actually see that as a bad thing. Ideally, either a hooded body suit, or hoods as well, at least in the wardrobe! Maybe that passageway leads to the charging pod, lol? Or the AI controller unit, just maybe? Full robotisation option, as opposed to just the look? Please!
Yes, if anyone ever wants to design my dream apartment, the bedroom almost certainly looks just like that! Oh for the money to make that dream come true. Though I dont deny it, my first financial priority would probably be to get my spine fixed (a la Tiger Woods), and then arrange my dream robot apartment. But fine, neither would take long, believe me!
But yes, seeing that when I got home, just loved it! Only wish I could see the rest of the apartment, in truth. Actually, searching, I’ve discovered its not much more than a concept design at this time, but I’d love it for real.
So if anyone has lots of money they just want to treat a disabled old lady with, give me a shout!
Video time. Well fine, the song title is one word different, but the rhyme could still work? I thought I’d try the recent live version, and its good enough to roll with, so…
Fine, you’ll get the joke when we get to the video, I hope?
Though its nowhere near as cold here as it is in the US Mid West at present, temperatures above freezing are a bit rarer than usual. Friday morning, it was struggling to hit the mid 20’s over here, but conditions outside were passable, so I decided I needed to go for it, to get to work. Given the fragility of my back, I was looking for anything that might help to keep it warm, so I did a quick hunt for some thermal clothing. I managed to find a pair of leggings, but that wasnt my area of issue, but then I found…
About 20 years ago, or so, I had to do a performance in a play, which involved wearing delicate clothing, which couldnt easily be cleaned, so we were provided with full length body suits (Neck to ankle) to wear underneath it, so it wouldnt need to touch skin. I requested a nice silver grey one, cant think why. And yes, I found it on Friday, wondered if I could get close to still getting in it, as it has a zip on the front, and I now have boobs, but…I could! A few of the stitches are frail, but whether thats my little bit of middle aged spread, or just old age, no idea?
Yes, it worked, it definitely kept me a bit warmer than I would have been without it, and the tightness of it acted as compression on the wrist, back, and knees, so… 🙂 The only snag with it, because its only meant to be worn for a few hours at a time, maximum, is that it doesnt have a crotch opening of any kind. Fine for 2 hours on stage, when you wouldnt need to go, but all day, for work, well…? A couple of less than sexy strip downs, lol!
But yes, if you’d told me that an item of tight clothing that I wore about 20 years ago, would still fit me, I’d have laughed at you, but anyway… Yes, I’m now looking at 2 or 3 more (mainly used by actors, or dancers), which I will have to buy myself, cant have everything. I love the effect, they keep me warm (most critically, my back), and they’re fun to wear. I know, this will probably be the end of winter, but besides that… Oh, and did you know, you can get them in metallic silver, though not sure I’d wear that one to work!
Right, video time. Its not quite been 24 months sitting next to someone at work, but its been quite a while. Sadly, now I’ve got to get used to not sitting next door to him, as he left our department yesterday. And actually this song is best known for a version by a Bradford band, Smokie. However, they werent the first to record it, this group were!