Category Archives: Brainwashing

I will have to do without you?

OK, amusing story time.

When I got back to work last week, as well as being told of the forthcoming change of team at work, which though I dont mind it in the slightest, I’d still quite enjoy it if someone convinced me about it, using this machine…

Yes, I know, I wish!

The second thing that was waiting for me, in the form of a piece of paper on my desk, is something from the daily free newspaper over here, known as the Metro, an article called Rush Hour Crush. Yes, it is as awful as it sounds, judging by the posts in the one left on my desk, but anyway…A couple of people especially, know of a certain bus journey crush I have, and it was placed there because of her, and me. In truth, I have no idea why I crush on her, because strictly, she isnt my type. She’s very slim, pretty much flat chested, and non exceptional looks. But, but, she just has something I adore, though thats a mystery ingredient, for sure. But anyway…

Last night, for the first time in weeks, I saw her. Mainly because I didnt see her just before I went on holiday, or the first week I was back, plus that 2 week gap, so…it was a treat when I saw her at the bus stop, and then realized there were no double seats left downstairs, so yes, she went upstairs, I was downstairs, and I’m not that predatory! Fine, I’m not in the slightest predatory, so I had to settle for 2 brief sightings.

Anyway, in line with those Crush postings, I jokingly posted this on my Facebook page, as they always love to know when I see her

Cute, slim blonde on 7.20 363 to Bailiff Bridge tonight. Coffee, or more?
Tall, butch looking blonde

I know, silly stuff, but anyway…Yes, I’m crazy, someone said they would text it in (cant do it myself, no mobile phone), if I wanted them to, and I said yes. Fine, it helps that I know she never reads anything but her kindle on the bus, so I think I’m safe from her reading it. I suppose someone at her work place might, and work out who its aimed at, but I’m sure the chances of that are equally slim.

On top of all that, I know she has a ring, but I have no idea if its a wedding ring. Probably is, but…? Oh, and secondly, I’m sure the only way someone like her would consider a sapphic relationship would be by influencing her mind, something like this!

But yes, fine, if it appears in the Metro (tomorrow would be the earliest possibility for that), and she looks at me, in a certain way, the next time I see her, well…I’ll probably still have to do without even a friend for coffee! But, just maybe…?

The video, some old Doris Day, from Calamity Jane, what I will probably have to do, concerning my certain cute lady…

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Does an Angel contemplate my fate?

When I say I have a wonderful friend in Colorado, I mean the type of friend that 20 years ago, I would never have dreamed of having. Yes, the online type. If you’d told me back then that we would talk to, and feel we know people, halfway across the world, that I’ve never met, nor am I likely to meet, and I would have laughed at you back then. Now, its seemingly the most natural thing to have. To be fair, the number of people who I have never met, or only met because of the magic of the internet, is an amazingly high number, especially for a more mature lady like me. But yes, I’ve been blessed to meet to, or pass words with so many of them. There are a pair of people (James, and Kate, for example) in the NE of the US who are very special to me, and they know it. As to others I’ve either met briefly (Tina and Eden, again for examples), or currently, am yet to meet (Stacie, Penny, and Diane amongst many), they’ve played a part in my life, both online, and real.

Well, anyway, Diane is an author, far more talented than me. I would say go to her website, and buy something, but I’m not going to force you to. But if you want to take a look, go to http://www.banditsranch.com/ and do so.

Anyway, last month, she had a contest, to tie into a giveaway she had (at time of writing, its on her home page), and I took my chance. I didnt expect to win, but I like to support her as much as I can, given I’m not in a position to go on a book buying spree at present. So I took my chance, and wrote something. To my surprise, and delight, when I switched my computer on yesterday morning, I had received a magical reading from her, and my angels. Honoured, and delighted, you have no idea!

No, I’m not going to quote you all the details, if anyone does want to see it, comment, with an address, and I’ll send it on. But yes, I’m told I need to wipe my slate clean, and look forward to my fresh life, in my future. Oh fine, I’d like my slate quite literally wiped clean, but as far as I know (sadly), brainwashing isnt yet a practical option, if only it was. But those angels are keen to work on my dreams, and make my life in future, so much better! I know, given much of the last year, not hard, but lets not reflect on that. Funnily enough, I got one of those silly Facebook milestones this morning, which reminded me that just over 8 years ago (given the time it would have taken to get the pictures) was actually the first time I worked as a woman! Yes, its happened a lot of times since then, for sure!

I know, I know, not every reader here will believe in angels, and the like, and everyone is free to believe what they wish. So if you want to believe its true, fine. Equally, if you want to believe its just me being soft again, thats fine too. In recent times, I’ve also been asked if I believe in Aliens, Ghosts, and Witches, and said yes to all 3! Not because I’ve met any, but…I believe they’re out there somewhere!

But what I am sure of, despite all the talk, is that the internet can be a wonderful place to make very special friends, and that is true. Yes, it can also be a dangerous place, but for me, I know who are in the majority at least.

Right, video time. Yes, the obvious one, even more so, given the blog title is a line of the lyrics.

Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket?

Yes, I know, a cheery sounding blog from me, scary stuff! But in truth, maybe things are finally turning for the better, after so long, we will see. Fine, so far at least, this week has been quite promising, so lets hope it lasts.

Firstly, I really look like a blonde again. I know, its not my natural colour, but I really dont care! I love being blonde, so…Added amusement with this, as I got to go under one of those wonderful hair dryer machines, that looks just like a brainwashing machine out of a good science fiction movie. Yes, real helmet type, complete with visor, dropped over my eyes, and then left for my mind to melt away…oh, I wish! But yes, if I’d known I was going under one of those, instead of the normal cap type dryer hood I normally go under, I’d have taken a camera, and taken a selfie! Especially as it had a red light on the front, when switched on.

Next bit of good news, I’ve finally got agreement on my rent benefit figure, and in truth, it was slightly more than I was expecting to get. Alright, its tempered by the fact that I’m not getting any back pay, but at least the difference between what I owe here, and what I will be getting, is sufficient to allow me to at least get a few basic things done. Not that I’m now looking forward to a good waxing session, its going to hurt, but so needs to be done! One or two other little things as well, like technically spending the balance of my birthday money, once that arrives will be nice too.

Oh, and then, this afternoon, I got a call from one of the agencies, got an interview in Elland, on Monday. So providing I make a decent show of that, I might get a job too! I know, me, competency questions, and all that, but hey, I might be on a roll! Alright, stop laughing, but…

Lastly, though I dont gamble any more, other than once a year, funnily enough, done today, for Saturday, I still do sports competitions on the net. One site I know, because of Facebook postings, offered a free contest on the first day of Aintree today, and yes, I came 4th, out of 100! £5 worth of free bets! Not a fortune, but any beacon of hope is good for me at present.

So yes, this Saturday, the National Lottery are doing one of their specials! Usually there is 1 millionaire, and 20 prizes of £20,000 on each draw, as well as the standard 6 ball stuff. This weekend, its 10 millionaires! So what do you reckon, should I get a lottery ticket? Hey, even £20,000 would more than solve all current issues, let alone a million!

No, I’m not going to count my blessings until that rent money is in the bank, and stuff, and I’m certainly not going to expect a lottery win, even if I go for it. As to being brainwashed, by some evil machine, oh I wish, but I suspect, only in my dreams!

The video. As the singer says, maybe things really are getting better, not before time!

If you want to make me smarter?

Seemingly, you should buy me some chocolate! And believe me when I say, that I wont say no, if you offer it! Oh, and not only that, its the perfect time to treat me, seeing its my birthday on Wednesday. Yes, I’m 29, or at least a multiple thereof, and be careful what you say, on that point lol! No, I’m not joking about chocolate, read this!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/12187042/Chocolate-makes-you-smarter-study-suggests.html

Mind, if you are getting me some, I would prefer something decent, but this poor church mouse wouldnt say no to any treats at present, I guess? I know, fine, I’m not going to have a dozen messages (or even one, probably) asking where to send the chocolate in the morning, but at least for now, I can dream! Bottles of alcohol might be nice, but not sure how wise that would be, given how I feel at present, but anyway…

Mind, if anyone is offering the opportunity for the opposite result to be done to me, turned into a mindless, obedient machine, it might be more fun than the current battle for a job, and besides, post treatment, I wouldnt concern myself too much with that option anyway lol! I know, I know, but… If someone just wants to give me the treat of pretending to do it to me, as a birthday treat, I’d love it, btw.

In all honesty, of all the 58 upcoming birthdays I’ve had in my life (I know, the first few I wasnt terribly aware of, but), I’ve got to say this is probably the one I’ve looked forward to, with the least enthusiasm. Yes, the working situation is probably a great part of it, after all this time, its really got to me. But yes, apart from that, its that growing realisation that my time here, is probably now on the down side of the hill, not that I suspect at the moment, I really mind that fact. Not helping on that front is so many music heroes of my youth departing this world at present. I know most are a decade or so ahead of me, but even so, it does make you think!

I suppose my one regret, that seemingly gets less likely to happen over the years, is the fact that I’ve never worked anywhere other than the UK, in my life. Maybe it annoys me more because it almost happened on a few occasions, but for whatever reason, never did. Lets face it, how many firms outside the UK are going to take a chance on a 58 year old? Yes, exactly! I know, turning down that US job offer in 2003, is going to haunt me to my grave, I suspect? It might still happen, but being practical, probably not, now.

So, beyond chocolate, what would I like for my birthday, you might be asking, but I doubt it! A job would be the obvious answer, anywhere reasonable, and nowadays, that covers a larger range of locations than a year ago! Fine, LA would be heavenly, but this is real life, not a Golden Age Hollywood movie I’m living! Mind, if anyone wants me to recreate the Marion Davies story, with me in the Marion role, I wouldnt say no!

For those (ha ha) that want to spend slightly more budget on me, I could do with a small second hand chest of drawers, for my room. Maybe 2, depending on size, maybe a small wardrobe (fabric type would be fine), so that I can get my clothes sorted out, without worrying about spending money!

I might not say no to a full length, silver metallic bodysuit, with or without mind controlling electrodes, but…yes, I’m kidding, I think, or maybe not? 😉

Lastly, should there be a very rich person out there, with more money than sense, I’d love another 4 weeks in the sun, in an apartment, in Hollywood! I know, I know, but if I dont mention that, and there is some crazy millionaire out there…ha ha!

But yes, fine, if you want to get me a bar of Bournville chocolate, or similar at present, thats good by me! Might even make me smarter, you never know?

The video, well yes, the song is old, was released when I was about 6! This version though, is a live one from 2009, still sounding pretty good. Yes, song could be quite apt? 😉

Can I drive, and have I been made to forget?

Silly title, but events today have driven me to the point of stupidity, or is it concern? Yes, more less than memorable moments in the battle to get this passport in my new name!

As you may remember from Wednesday’s blog, I had a letter from the passport office, requesting details that I’d registered my name change with the driving licence people, and I told them that I didnt have a driving licence, issued solved, I hoped? Wrong!

Today, I got another letter from the passport office, telling me that I was actually issued with a driving licence in 1983. Well, I know I certainly didnt do that, as that was the year I moved to Somerset, and I certainly didnt apply for one then! And no, I certainly didnt order one either in the 2 and a half months I lived in Kent, before moving down there. I did in fact hold a provisional licence, somewhere in the late 1970’s, but that was it. Mainly because my driving talents matched those of Frank Spencer (of Some Mothers Do Have Them fame), so I quickly gave up on the idea.

As far as I remember, since then, I have never held a driving licence, nor have I ever driven a road vehicle at any time. So yes, this news concerned me, a lot, even if its long before identity stealing became popular! So I rang the passport office up, informed them of this, and they told me an examiner would be requested to get back to me quickly. That was 11.00 this morning, still no call. I’ll leave it until Monday afternoon before I chase them, but anyway… The thing is, why didnt all this come up when I changed my name in 2010? Thats right, I heard nothing then, when only changing name, but not gender. Suspicious, maybe? Hopefully not?

Or did I really learn to drive, pass my test, apply for a licence, and was then brainwashed to forget it ever happened? Much though I’d love that to be discovered to be the truth, its not going to be the case, is it? And lets face it, if I was brainwashed by a sinister government department, surely another government department wouldnt now be telling me about it?

I suspect the more likely story is far more dull. When I applied for a joint mortgage in 1987, we had an issue, because of a man with the same name as me. He lived in Derbyshire, I had to prove I’d never lived there, and all was solved. And yes, my intuition is that this driving licence was issued to him, not me.

But its all dragging out this event (its now 5 weeks, instead of the standard 4, and I still havent got it) that is causing me problems with job hunting, at a time I really dont need it! And of course, its Catch 22, to get identity papers anywhere, you need a passport. And they are doing their best to slow down this process, and I really dont need this! This will lead again to stress issues, which makes getting through interviews, getting a job, and some much needed money, even harder! And people wonder why I dont feel like going on with life, seriously! Yes, its getting that bad, about 6 weeks before I have major problems, and thats far too soon for my liking.

Right, rant over, though if anyone wants to issue me a passport (USA would be heaven), so I can travel, and job hunt legally, I’d love it. Before I decide to do something silly, anyway!

Right, video. Alright, the licence issue is going to be related to a guy, but I’m now a girl, so this great track will do nicely.

You are feeling very sleepy

So fine, I could have just left it until tomorrow, and got around the issue, but strictly, its one more blog before Christmas, so…

I think its fair to say that this ‘being out of work’ thing can be pretty stressful. It could also be said that when I did briefly get a job, that proved to be even more stressful, in a different sort of way. So what I was planning to do, before that ‘job from hell’ arose, was to do a relaxation, and stress busting hypnosis session locally, as she was offering a reduced rate for doing so, and I’m not one to turn down a bargain, especially a bargain that was going to be useful to me.

So yes, it got all sorted out, and set up, and was going to happen on a Saturday. Yes, you’ve guessed it, the Saturday I was doing training for that job, so I had to cancel it, another thing I regret. Anyway, I can now happily say that its been rearranged, for 3 weeks time, again on a Saturday morning. This time, hopefully, all will go to plan. To be honest, I could do with a hypno brainwashing session, and then being ‘rebooted’ like a computer, and hope a better me came out of it, but I’ll settle for this, for now.

Yes, I’m looking forward to being hypnotised again, that I will admit. Though fine, if anyone wants to try the shut down, and then reboot my mind technique, I’d love to give it a go!

I know, I havent been doing Christmas videos this year, pretty much because its hard to come up with anything I havent used before. But then I found this. Seriously, covering the Wombles?

Finally, I know who I am

Yes, they think its all over, for Ms Nicholls at least, it is now!

This morning marked the last appearance of said, Ms Nicholls, at my final job interview, using that name. Hey, I’ve already altered my CV, the sites that I get job vacancy emails from, and my NI details. The passport, the last document showing that old name, will be sent off tomorrow, as I will go into a Post Office, and send it off on the way into town, to get the last couple of small Christmas gifts I have to get.

But on that bus into town (even if my Metro pass will say otherwise, for the next 14 days), it will be Miss Carpenter going into town. Oh fine, strictly, she has for over a month now, but due to ID issues, and a good number of those trips relating to job applications, its a debatable issue, but no more!

To be honest, I’m glad its done. It will be so much easier to only have to focus on one name, and fine, this may also be the point where I switch from using Stephanie, to actually using Harlean, as I’m no longer worried about keeping the names similar. Yes, I expect to hear “That’s an unusual name.” a few times, but I really don’t care. I know one thing, I wont have to worry about having the same first name as anyone else in an office, or anywhere lol!

Oh, and should anyone be daft enough to want to buy me a present to celebrate the fact, or for Christmas, I’d love this

http://www.theburgandyboudoir.com/Purple-Gothic-Corset_p_816.html

I know, thoroughly submissive look, so I shouldnt love it, but I do! No, I dont seriously expect anyone to get it for me, but I can dream.

Right, the video, possibly apt on a day when I finally only have one name again. It features a lot of old movie stars among the images, though sadly not the star formerly known as Harlean Carpenter. Now where have I heard that name? 😉

Oh, and finally, if anyone wants to use this method to erase all my memories of my former name/self, please do so!

Getting out and about, a couple of requests, and a song about a California town

Right, I’m glad to say that the knee is improving. Still a bit sore, even worse than usual to look at, but hey, I can walk on it, so lets celebrate that at least.

First, lets do some catching up. Yesterday I did the one tour in Hollywood that I wanted to do, though I’d have enjoyed it even more if I could have time warped it back to the 1930’s, but being realistic…Warner Brothers do a studio tour, and I headed off to take a look. Most of it (obviously) relates to modern movies, and TV programming, not the Golden Era that I truly love. But there were a few spots I saw, where films in the 30’s were made, even if the facilities on site were on the whole slightly more technologically up to date than back then. What I had forgotten, until conveniently reminded by my excellent guide, was that Jean Harlow starred in at least 1 movie for Warner’s, while Howard Hughes was contracting her out, ‘Public Enemy’. Alright, more remember Cagney, but anyway… Of course, a short period after that, MGM signed her to a contract, and of course, thats where she’s remembered for working, naturally.

Oh fine, so some of those Batman cars, I wouldnt mind being taken for a ride in, and the Hathaway, Catwoman suit (in my size), I’d love to wear. As for the Mr Freeze outfit… It was also interesting to see inside a sound stage, and imagine that Jean might have done the same walk, across town at MGM.

Seriously, the tour comes highly recommended. I did afterwards get my picture taken with ‘An Oscar’, which I will pull off my camera some time, and post. As close as Jean Harlow ever got to winning one, lol!

The other main moment of hilarity was attempting to arrange the meet that never happened. As much as you can ever know someone only through Twitter, and Facebook, I have the pleasure of knowing a wonderful, crazy guy there, by the name of Matt. Lets leave it at that, to protect his privacy at least, though a few will know who I mean. If I had a smart phone, with internet, and the like, I would have got his Twitter messages after I left here, I would have met him, and got a DVD. Sadly, even though I have a US phone, its cheap, cheerful, and no internet. So, in the end, it never happened. I did ask a couple of people in the studio if they knew the name, met with blank faces. As he told me afterwards, if I’d asked at the end of the Stage 48 part of the tour, where I got my coffee,…would have happened, but…

Today was a briefer trip, to the science museum down at Expo Park, close to USC. I did go mainly for the space stuff, but had a general look around, and yes, its good value. Straight face, that might be because basic entry is free, but seriously, well worth visiting.

Fine, the 2 requests. And lets face it, as you might have guessed, unless you’re in the LA area, you might as well jump to the video link. Well, unless you want to bestow a few thousand dollars on me, so I can stay a bit longer, but otherwise…

Firstly, is to take me out by car (or whatever) to a very special address. 9525 Easton Drive, up above Beverly Hills is the (in)famous home where Jean lived with her 2nd husband, Paul Bern, and where he committed suicide. Well, we assume he did, its the generally believed version, but we will never know for sure now, I guess? If I say this address is 3.5 miles from the nearest public transport point, and that the temperature during the day is still at least in the high 70’s, I’m not going to get there under my own steam. And its not like I’m going to pay a lengthy visit, unless I get invited in, ha ha! So, if anyone is prepared to drive me up there, I’d be eternally grateful. So might Jean’s ghost (allegedly) be, but thats another story! In my dreams, Jay Leno reads this, and drives me up there in 1 of his 30’s cars, but this isnt a fairy tale!

Second request is a more silly one, which I’m sure wont happen, but in this town, where movies are made, and special effects people abound, I can only ask. Yes, a robot transformation, or brainwashing scene, performed on me. No, I dont mean for real (though I wouldnt mind), just a roleplay where it really feels like its going to happen. You have a week, on both these requests, btw.

I know, I know, but if you dont ask…

OK, lastly, the video. One of the things that amuses me, is that the signpost for the main highway, doesnt use San Francisco, when going north, it uses Sacramento. Now fine, the latter is the state capital, and I gather little love is lost between here, and SF, but anyway…I find it funny. So, I’m using that as an excuse to use this golden oldie, from the 70’s, as my video tonight.

And lastly, as you know, recently I was interviewed by a wonderful lady named Alexia. Well, I’m trying to publicize, and raise funds for her new movie. There is one of those Thunderclap things, due to go off tomorrow, which costs you nothing to support, at https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/31154-support-selfdiscovery-film and also, if you want to offer her financial support to get the movie made, go here, and do so https://www.rockethub.com/projects/60770-support-alexia-s-selfdiscovery-film-experiment-the-fantastic-santa-monaco please!

Kissing the machine

As I mentioned just over a year ago, I have a fascination with all things robot, and what it would be like to be transformed into one. As I also mentioned back then, the fantasy, and facing the practical reality of it about to happen to me are probably two totally different matters! Well, maybe at least? 😉 Its probably not helped nowadays by the fact that I work with a computer all day at work, though currently I control it, not the other way around, and as far as I know, the headset has no effect on my mind either! Apart from anything else, the way its designed, it slips off my head far too easily when I’m looking up and down from paperwork for that to be likely anyway lol! Personally, I’d prefer a headset that would stay on my head better, a skullcap type headset, and not just for the robot thing, it would be easier if I wasnt having to wonder about whether it was going to stay on my head or not! I suppose it could be done, redesigning a cycle helmet or something? Cant see work doing it though, I’d be the only one who wanted one like that anyway lol!

But yes, if any designer (or someone who knows a designer) could come up with something like that, I would appreciate it. Having it so that it could control my mind in any way is purely optional extra lol! Having a headset that stayed on my head would be a good start! No, I dont need a silver bodysuit to wear at work, though agreed, especially with said headset, it might be fun doing so! Might make going out to get lunch a bit tricky though lol! It also would make a certain bodily function quite complex too, unless the suit has very robotic effects! Whether management would prefer obedient, robotic workers, no comment whatsoever! Might make training for new roles easier, just download it into our minds lol!

I suppose one day I might get hypnotised, and experience what life as a robot is like, but suspect thats as far as it will ever get. I might get roleplay for robotisation, or brainwashing, something that might be interesting to experience, more so if the person doing so made it feel very real of course. If anyone wants to offer to help with either, or again, knows someone who could help with either…?

Right, what bought all this on, you might ask? Well, about 10 years ago, some Canadian TV company was looking for people to discuss the whole robot thing, and I got involved. I assume they were either in the UK for something else, or used a local company or something, rather than flying across the Atlantic to see me, but who knows? Funny thing is, I never got to see the interview, or programme! No, I dont remember any details now, strangely enough, beyond the fact it was filmed in an exotic location, my bedroom in London! Just a few days ago, National Geographic were advertising for people to interview for a programme they are planning to make about the whole fembot scene. No, I wont be taking part, their location expenses mean they are only doing interviews in North America, so…Mind, I did say I wanted a more interesting location, but the situation wont arise now, and not just because of that!

Being honest, this is probably as exciting a revelation as you’re ever likely to get out of me on here. Well apart from those who dont realise I’m pre-op transgendered, but what havent you been reading if you didnt know that? Beyond this kink, I’m as dull as they get lol!

Right, the video, well again the clue is in the title, though not so many may know this song. Oh, and coincidence, a new version of this will be on the OMD album released in April, but more on that later. Lets just say that outfit, first seen worn by the woman at 46 seconds, might be fun! A Maria type Metropolis one (as also featured), even more so, but dont think thats as easily, or cheaply created!

If you want to kiss this ‘machine’, you need to make me a machine first lol!

Strange fantasies

I have mentioned here before that I write, for the sake of politeness, lets call it science fiction. I’m no one famous, as I have equally mentioned, its on the internet only, but lets just say that some of it might be termed adult, and some of it might be termed a bit weird!

The inspiration for all this, well I blame the like of Dr Who, Star Trek, Lost In Space and the like as a child. In teen years, I’m inclined to blame Metropolis and Carry On Spying! So yes, I have a strange, but interesting fascination with robots, brainwashing, and the use of one to transform a human into a robot.

As I say, beyond TV and films, I have no idea where this all came from. After all, its not the sort of stuff that the everyday person fancies happening to them, but I got intrigued by, and hooked on the ideas threrein. And even more strangely, its never really gone away.

I guess its because its a fantasy thats never really likely to actually happen that it appeals to me, I suspect if I was actually about to be brainwashed, and turned into an obedient robot by someone, then I’d probably fight it as much as the next person. But part of me does say, would I really, or would I just lay back and enjoy the whole experience? Who really knows, and lets face it, as technology stands, the question is purely moot.

I suspect at least some of it relates back to my transgender issues, and the fact that being transformed into a mindless, obedient robot would take away all those concerns I’ve had over the years about my physical (as opposed to mental) body that I’ve had. I hated my body for what it was, so changing it for a robot one, ideally female, would be a very good deal for me in that sense. I certainly used to be what is termed submissive, but its fair to say that events, plus hypnosis has cleared all that out of my system. But the robot transformation/brainwashing thing still remains, interesting, isnt it?

Let me add, that at this point, I’ve never been hypnotised to be like a robot, so have no idea just how blank a mental state that is, I’ve only been hypnotised for beneficial reasons. One day I’d love to do a scene where I really felt like I was about to be transformed in this way, it might be the only way i ever get this fantasy out of my head! Or would that just ingrain it deeper?

No video, just a fun outfit to tantalise you,

And this might just be me

Anyone out there want to fulfil a middle aged woman’s fantasy lol?