Oh fine, I was going to do something lighter, and sillier tonight, but then I found this event on my Facebook thread today.
Yes, fine, I knew there was a good reason why I took my own individual route as a Trans Woman, and kept away from the campaign groups! Dont get me wrong, I fully understand feelings over recent prison issues for Trans Women, but seriously, do something like this at a Pride Parade, probably annoy the LGB folk who support us, and everything? Ah well!
I could also say that if these Trans Women didnt do things that required them to be sent to prison in the first place, the issue would never arise. Or does that logic only work with good girls like me?
I equally get the logic of doing it in front of the Police float, just about, though actually, it would be the Prison Service that made the decision on which jail they went to, not the Police. And yes, annoy the police in one of the cities where LGBT is best supported, to start with.
I also suppose that if you want to ensure publicity for the event, somewhere like Manchester Pride is a good place to do it. But yes, fine, in terms of keeping good relations with the rest of the LGBT community, the Trans folk do seem to like putting their feet in it. But yes, I know, maybe we do get a raw deal within the community at times, but doing things like this doesnt help!
Fine, I know, technically I cant change things, I’m always going to be designated as a Trans Woman, I guess, but please, if anyone wants to give me honorary, natural woman status, please do! Then maybe I could focus on being Lesbian, or Bi, and pass on Trans issues lol! Mind, my passport says I’m female, so…
“Yes, I’m a natural woman, its just that I ran into some mad scientist, and he carried out an experiment to give me a penis too.” Hmm? No, I know, but…
Video. No, not OMD, though Andy McCluskey actually wrote it. But no, not Atomic Kitten either! I found this by sheer chance, I know nothing about the group, not even checked them on Google yet. But yes, I love the vintage feel, and look, so…
Despite my complete lack of a competitive nature, mentioned recently, I still enjoy doing sports competitions nowadays, even if my research is a little more limited than it used to be, given I can no longer get hold of sporting newspapers, and the like, to garner information.
But yes, there are some sports I’m betting at, than others! The craziest, is horse racing, I seem to be able to read jump racing decently, but as has been proven this summer, flat racing leaves me blank. Doing so badly this year, that of serious entrants, I’ve currently got 1 behind me. Yes, that bad! Yet I can get close to the Top 10 when it comes to jump racing, ah well…
Football/Soccer (depending on where you’re reading this) is a sport I have zero interest in, but given a stat based formula seems to work for it, I’m never going to set the world alight, but I do OK.
NFL is something I can do OK on, though given that with a few exceptions, any team can win, any week, I suspect a fair amount of luck is involved in that?
However, there is one sport where this number crunching machine seems to do well, golf. Yes, the Betfair competition, where you pick 5 players for each tournament, and get points for your best player, I made the play offs, which started this week, just like the PGA, though only 12 of us play on, for 8 more rounds, to declare a winner. Regular season, I came 4th, out of about 30 regular players. Yes, 3 prizes, so no working out where I’m not going to finish lol!
More incredibly, is the one on CBS Sportsline, where you pick 1 player from each of 4 tiers for 20 odd weeks, and score whatever your players score. So yes, being the US, there are about 35,000 players in there. Me, as I type this, 26th! Yes, wow! I might fall, or rise a few places yet, but done OK, sure have.
Why am I good at golf? I think its because if there was ever a stats related sport, its this one. Players like certain courses, and if they’ve done well there in the past, they’ll probably do it again! So yes, number crunching past results in tournament, course, and current form (all easily available in these internet days) seem to bear fruit.
So some think I know my golf, but me, I know its just my number crunching skills, really. Just like a computer, or a robot, or… 😉
The video. Usually when golf results are declared, though of course, next week, in the US, it will be Monday, because the bank holiday is a week behind ours! But generally…
No, not in a bad way, and certainly not for me, but then again, I’m one of the fans of the city, so maybe I dont get it, but anyway…
Ever since I was a child, and even more so today, there seem to be lots of people who want to put down Bradford, and praise Leeds. Now, dont get me wrong, there are parts of Bradford that arent all that pretty, but there are a few of them in Leeds too.
As to the city centres, a lot of people rave about Leeds, but I’ve never been a fan. Maybe its because I’m older, have grown up with that as a place of work, whereas Bradford has been a place to visit, but in truth, my feelings about Leeds, as a city centre, date back long before then. In truth, I prefer Wakefield to both, as a place to go shopping, but fine, I’m weird that way lol!
I have now, at least, seen the new super shopping centre in Bradford, the Broadway, as I believe its called, though I havent been in it yet. I know the shopping park, opposite to work, a bit better already, mind! Mainly for lunchtime food stores, but hey, I’ve looked at a few other stores, just not bought anything quite yet, even though I have £30 worth of vouchers to spend in the Arcadia Group stores, in their unit there. I guess I’ve got so used to charity shops, Primark, and Peacocks, that paying ‘normal’ prices for clothing, even when its not going to cost me, is going to take some getting used to!
Its ironic, the area where I’m working, I can remember when it wasnt a nice area to go to, about 40-50 years ago, but things have changed dramatically on that front, at least! I still think that I might prefer to have a mobile phone (eek!) when I’m finishing at 8.00, when its all a lot darker, and things, so might have to break the habit of a long while, and get a cheap, basic one again. I suppose, also, if as that offer earlier that year came up, if I ever take the plunge to get back into acting again, I’ll need one anyway! Still, all for the future…
But yes, when it comes to the old Bradford v Leeds argument, call me awkward, but it will always be Bradford, of choice, for me. Yes, in a small minority lol!
Video time. Probably, for me at least, the most famous Bradford group that I know. First hit, not sure if the singing is live, but I think it is, doesnt seem to quite match single version.
Yes, after week 1 of my new job, I can honestly say that the comparison between my new job, and that company I was working for, is so dramatic, its scary. Yes, I really know I made the right call re jobs, lets say.
To be fair, or otherwise, Capita continue to disappoint. Its now been 2 months running, about 6 weeks in all, that they have had a tax allowance form for me, and failed to work on it. In fact, I knew, the week I was leaving, that they hadnt done anything with it, but I was still hoping that they might have sorted it out by today, when they paid me. No, much as I expected, in all honesty, they hadnt! So instead of paying no tax, as should be the case, given my very limited earnings this year, they’ve taken £270 in tax, which I should have, and in truth, need.
Hopefully my new employers can get matters sorted very soon, I must say. But yes, I’m not sorry to see the last of that firm.
Fine, rant over. New job!
In truth, the nitty gritty of training starts next week, after the bank holiday weekend, looking forward to it. We’ve done a lot of form filling, a few necessary deeds in paperwork matters, and generally settled in this week. Yes, seems a really nice place to work, and having listened to a few calls, any concerns I had about the work have pretty much gone. And yes, they respect their employees, so nice!
The commute makes a pleasant change, though whether I will feel the same way about that in 6/12 months, we will have to wait and see. But currently, its new, the walk from the bus station is nice enough (might not be so good in winter though), and I’m feeling quite at home there. And yes, feeling respected by the bosses, unlike somewhere I could name!
So now you know, and I know, I made the right decision!
The video, well its one of those given away in the title jobs tonight
Yes, I started the Olympics with one of the blatantly obvious videos, so lets end it with the other!
I’ll be honest, I havent seen a lot of it. To a great degree because a lot of the main events have happened in the middle of the night, our time, but also, because for once, it wasnt relevant to my work, unlike 4 years ago! About the only thing I’ve seen much of, live, was the mens golf, and in truth, that was because I’m involved in a golf tipping competition, and that was part of the challenge.
There have been a few highlights, the most medals won by any GB team, though I assume thats strictly got some cut off point in history, given we won 146 medals in 1908, and its nowhere near that number! But its given the BBC something to talk about, even if by all reports, their coverage has tended to verge between bad, and embarrassing!
Also, I do wonder if the absence of most of the Russian teams has played a part in that, but lets not go down that road. I’m cynical as to how many athletes are genuinely clean, its just that some have been caught, and others havent? Yes, thats a big reason for my lack of interest, in all honesty.
We’ve also had the robbery that never was. How those US swimmers, in these days of social media, and CCTV expected to get away with that, I will never know? Lastly, and saddest for me, is the carving up of events for the Paralympics, due to what the Brazilians are calling budget issues. Nothing to do with the fact that tickets sales for that are very slow in Brazil, a country with a record of lack of concern for disabled people, anyway.
But fine, thats it, until Tokyo has its second time, in 2020, part of an Asian domination, given the next 2 winter Olympics (2018 South Korea, 2022 China) are there as well. Where will we all be then, who knows?
Yes, as I said, the obvious closing video, after Mike Nesmith started it.
Yes, at this point, finally, I’m looking at the end of a certain long, and winding road, called the hunt for a new job. I know, strictly, there have been a couple of false starts along the way, both relating to a firm I couldnt praise, called Capita, but that battle is now over. One at least, was a complete write off, the other, just an event of unfortunate timing, but I cant say that even then, as an employer, they’ve impressed me.
So yes, Monday, the new challenge begins, and one I’m actually looking forward to. An interesting sounding job, a new commute, which is cheaper than Leeds, and a better wage than Capita were ever going to offer, for sure. I guess that at some point, maybe I’ll get tired of the commute to Bradford, but it will take quite a while for that to happen, for sure.
In theory (ha ha), before then I’ll be a wife, and mother, in sunny California, but I will not be holding my breath on that front. Or who knows, the new story might make me a world famous author, on a controversial issue, but I suspect thats even less likely! Yes, I’ve written a new story, about 10,000 words long, involving an ECT session that maybe should, or shouldnt have happened? It will be going off to my wonderful editor shortly, and then, when I get it back, and when I can afford to buy a cover picture (next weekend, hopefully), I’ll let it take its chances. Mind, dont look for Merry Brooks as the author, it will be under another name, TBA, because its not her usual stuff.
But yes, if you’ve told me back in April 2015, that it would only be now, that I would finally be seeing that road to a job, ending next Monday, I would have groaned. But finally, I’m there.
The video, yes, the title makes it pretty obvious, really. Officially its Wings, in truth, its just Paul McCartney
Back in the days when I was younger, and maybe a bit kinkier (some would say I still am!), I loved doing the whole submissive thing, which for some of the time at least, when indoors, involved me being collared. In truth, I enjoyed it, but then again, as I say, I am pretty submissive in nature, so I guess thats not a big surprise?
But to be honest, after I moved up to Yorkshire, and settled into a more ‘normal’ life, the idea of wearing a collar went pretty much out of the window. Thats not to say I hadnt worn one in 11 years, because I have, a few times, but only for a few hours at most, at a time.
Then last weekend, I was moving a few things around, in what I jokingly call my adult corner, and I came across my old metal collar. Oh, dont get excited about the use of the world adult, its pretty much just the clothing that I’m never likely to wear again, but dont want to get rid of. So yes, talking mainly leather, or faux leather, though there is at least one latex skirt in there, which I love, but suspect I will never wear again, but get rid of it, no chance!
Anyway, back to the collar. In truth, at this distance in time, I have no idea who gave it to me, or more correctly put, collared me with it. Strictly, its a metal look, but its material backed, so quite comfortable to wear. Yes, thats right, for old times sake, last Saturday, I put it on, for the first time in years! Fun element, I enjoyed wearing it again! So much so, I’ve been wearing it a few times this week as well, while at home! Wear it out, you have to be kidding, its a bit too obvious for that lol!
Strictly, I’m cheating a bit, because at no point has it been locked around my neck, even though it can be. Two reasons for that, firstly, I havent got a lock, and key to do that with, and currently this church mouse is so poor, I cant even afford to go and get one. That at least should be sorted next Friday, but in truth, even then, I suspect I’m going to stick to clipping it over the clasp, and no more. Why, the second reason, given that its just for me, reasonably quick release is probably a wise way to go. But if someone wants to buy me a lock, and key, and tell me I have to have it locked, when worn, then I’ll happily obey.
If someone actually wants to genuinely collar, and ‘own’ me, then lets talk about it. You might want to get me a new collar in that case, I suspect that either the material has shrunk over the years, or my neck has grown, because its a very tight fit. Fine, I might enjoy that, but it does mean that wearing at night, or anything, with this collar, is out of the question. In terms of submission, you’d need to be practical. I’m 58, with no interest in sex, and joint issues, so doing restrictive bondage on myself, isnt going to happen!
But yes, if you’re looking for a submissive for some fun, or just to give yourself a feeling of power, lets talk. Where you want to take that, and/or take me, let me know. Equally, if you just want to get me a new, better fitting collar, or just a lock, and key, I’d love it. So as the title suggests, if you want to help collar me, as a submissive, or more, feel free.
The video, is a play on the blog title. Or rather, the blog title is a play on the song title. This is the version I grew up on, the Barbara Dickson version from 1976. In fact, in 1952, this song was a Number 1, for 2 different artists. But fine, I prefer this more up tempo version myself
One source of amusement, and amazement to me, is that there is one lovely gentleman I know, who thinks I can make the perfect wife for him, and the perfect mother for his children. Yes, I know, stop laughing! Thats right, me who has barely cooked in many years (apart from pre-packaged meals), and who has never had children in her life, and besides which, despite the loud shouts in my profile, and everything else, I’m not entirely convinced that he has taken in that this woman comes with a probably undesired extra bit! Fine, he might be the one that I get rid of that bit for, but we will have to wait and see on that. More likely, I suspect, that once he finally gets the message I’m trans, will probably disappear as fast as the last one did, once he finally got the message! But maybe I’m wrong, who knows? Maybe he knows, and loves me despite that? Yes, I know…
The silly thing is, despite the thousands of miles between us, and everything (he’s in California, a bonus for me!) else, I have sort of fallen for him too. I know, its a silly thing to do, but chatting with him, and leaving messages for him, I enjoy doing it! Yes, I might actually enjoy marriage, motherhood, and being a housewife with him, it has to be said. Thing is, for whatever reason, I’m not convinced how well I’d pass on any of those 3 subjects.
First, after 16 years, I’m hopelessly independent, so having to consider what others want to do, before actually planning anything, could be interesting. Secondly, I have no idea in the slightest about being a mother, and two kids (currently 10 and 7) might make for an interesting challenge. Thirdly, yes, fine, my cooking skills are very rusty, as probably are my general housekeeping ones too. But fine, I’m sure, with time, I could get the grip on these things again.
Yes, I’d love to be the perfect mother, and wife, probably of the 50’s style, when the man was boss, and the woman did as she was told! Yes, fine, I’m very submissive in nature, I’d love that! Pretty much summed up by these 2 delightful pictures that Stacie, and I found online
Now if there was a Stepford School of Housewifery, I’d be in heaven! Even more so, if they turned me into a genuine Stepford wife, but enough of that!
As I say, my feeling is its all going to end sometime soon, when he realizes I’m not a natural woman, and this whole matter will be irrelevant. i’d love to be wrong, become a bride, and live in California, but cant see it in more than my dreams! Wonder if I can find a metallic silver bride’s dress lol? No, dont wait for the wedding invites, mind!
But for now, well, if anyone knows of any ‘interesting ways’ to turn me into the perfect wife, and mother, please let me know, I’d love the upgrade, regardless.
The video, fine, I wouldnt play this if there are children anywhere around. Lets just say it includes moments of a very good drag queen, doing her Stepford thing.
Yes, its one of my story ideas, which I could do with some research help on, and I was just wondering if anyone knew someone, who could help me out with it. Where’s a good place to start? I guess the story summary I did for someone else, is a bit of a guide
So far I’ve written purely what is a summary piece, about 3,000 words, to get the base idea out on a few sites, and get a reaction to it. Introduces an actress heavily into method acting, regardless of the role. Gets offered a role playing a patient in a psychiatric hospital, who would be ‘seen’ to be having ECT in the role on stage, and wants to know what its like.
Her agent should arrange her a visit to a unit, to see the set up, and how to react to it. Unfortunately (or otherwise), he doesn’t pass on the correct info, and they think she wants to experience it for real. Plan is to take issues, and everything else forward from there, how she reacts to it, how they react when they discover she wasn’t meant to be treated, and everything else.
Pretty much I want to do some research, ideally from experience, to help with writing it, see life from the other side of the electrodes, and all that. Also would then be able to gauge how she would react to that first session, and everything, if I knew what it was like.
As I say, maybe less than full voltage, and duration, but enough to know what its like. But if I have to do a full session, I definitely would!
In fact, someone suggested to me that it might interest TV/film people as a script, if sufficiently developed, which would be even more amazing for me, and I might look into that, but for now, lets leave it as a story concept.
Yes, I know, slightly crazy, maybe to be interested in having something like this done to me, at any voltage, or duration, but unless I know what it feels like, how am I going to write it? Fine, yes, it also has appeal, lets face it, as a personal thing, as it will surprise no one who knows how much I’d enjoy having my brain ‘zapped’ like that, to some degree. Mind, equally, if anyone can give me a detailed guide to what being on the receiving side of ECT feels like, it would help. But yes, fine, I’d love to find out for myself, I really would.
As stated, it doesnt have to be standard voltage (about 450 volts), or duration (up to 8 seconds), though if thats all that can happen, I’ll take my chance, and do it. But yes, ideally, something less (principally voltage) than that would be fine, as long as I get the sensation, the after reaction to it, and everything else, to get it written down afterwards.
Oh fine, maybe the story idea came to me, because I watch the wrong type of videos on You Tube, but anyway, here’s a fine example
Alright, faults with this, as its a movie scene. Voltage, and milliamperes, way higher than really used, or so websites tell me, at least. Duration, I time it at 14 seconds, and pretty much the longest said to be used is 8 seconds! So fine, she wasnt really zapped, but these things make it look more dramatic than reality. In truth, duration wise, this one is even more crazy! Again, fake, mind.
So yes, I’m looking for something a bit more sane than those, for my research lol! But yes, though I might secretly enjoy something like those, in reality, I’ll settle for something that lets me know what its like, with as little risk as possible. I know, something like this, there is no such thing as no risk, but even so…
But yes, if anyone can help me with research, in any way, please email me, at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know. I know, but we writers have some crazy ideas, and fantasies, sometimes.
The video, a strange piece I found, suitable subject matter
Anyone who has been following this for 10 months or more, will know where I’m talking about, but for the sake of more recent visitors, and those with less than lengthy memories…
Last August, about a year or so ago to the day, I had decided that before I exploded over my frustrations with finding a new job, I needed to let off steam, and just get away from it all for a while. Having visited Hollywood for 10 days in April (trip planned before redundancy, for 7 days at least), and fallen in love with the place, and not having done half what I wanted to, there seemed one obvious place to go for a 4 week getaway. Yes, back to Hollywood! However, given the length of my planned stay, and everything, I considered another option, renting an apartment for my stay.
So, having looked at AirBnb, I’d tried to book a couple of places that took my eye, with no joy. Finally, at about the 4th, or 5th option, I managed to get somewhere booked. I’ll admit it, the place had caught my eye earlier in the search, but given it was up in the hills, just under the Hollywood sign, it wasnt quite as central as I ideally desired. But in the end, maybe it was fate, or something, that was the place I finally booked into, for a glorious 4 week stay.
In truth, the place was as adorable as it looked in the photos, and I loved my time there. Yes, it meant I needed a slightly more expensive travel pass, but very quickly, I didnt care! I fell quickly in love with the place, the owners were a delight to deal with, all in all, a heavenly stay. My only sad moment was when it came to being time to leave, I must say. My pledge at the time, as Arnie said, was ‘I’ll be back!”, but sadly, I wont.
Earlier this week, I thought I’d see what they were charging for a months rent this year, not that I’d be going, but I thought it would give me a guide to the price for next year, maybe. It wasnt there! Now, as I hadnt put in any specific dates, even if taken at present, it should have shown, but no.
So, as they say, Google is your best friend, so I went on there, hoping to find more, but found something I didnt want to hear, as to why its no longer advertised. Yes, sadly, the owners have sold up, and moved on, happened in May, seemingly.
I know, these things happen, and all that, and why would they think of telling anyone who stayed there, that it was going to happen, but yes, it was a sad moment for me. My fondest memory is going to be that bed, and climbing into it, though the whole place was a delight, in all honesty. But now I know, I wont be keeping my promise to return, and thats a shame. Hopefully, if I do the same next year, I can find somewhere equally delightful. But no, I probably wont visit Verbena Drive again, all the same
The video, you could say there’s a bit of a clue in the title