Category Archives: Being alone

Me, on a dating agency?

Alright, fine, I kept this tale for a time when I lacked anything original to post, so I might as well use it up tonight. I did receive an email from some agency this weekend, suggesting that I sell myself through my blog, but after the posting on Friday, I’ll bore you with that later in the week!

While I was away in Hollywood, I started getting emails from a company called OK Cupid, telling me that some guy was sending me messages, showing a romantic interest in me. Yes, you’re right, I dont remember signing up for this, given my lack of interest in sex, and romance, as a whole, I’m pretty sure I didnt. My profile there was pretty basic, so I did wonder if it had been snatched by someone as a joke, or something, but anyway, being a polite lady, I sent back a pretty non committal reply. Thing is, he replied back again! Thankfully I wasnt in the country at the time, so I felt safe.

Next thing I know, I have got about half a dozen guys, all messaging me, all showing interest, from various parts of Yorkshire! I checked, there were only 2 gender options unfortunately, no option for trans folk. So I sort of guessed I had 3 options,

1 Play along, and give them a shock if any of them thought they were going to have their ‘wicked way’ with me.
2 Delete the account, hope they soon forgot about me, as all they knew was my home town, which is a big place
or 3 Very hastily arrange a certain operation, so that when they wanted to make love to me

Now, in all honesty, apart from the dangers involved, 1 really isnt my scene. Apart from the sexual issues, when they discovered I had something extra, I’m not sure I’d be interested now, even if I did have the right bits.

Fine, option 3 might be fun, and I have been told by others, it really is something I should sort out, but even if I agreed to it, it wasnt going to happen overnight! To be frank, I have no idea if I would be interested in sex, with the right bits, but until its done, who knows?

So fine, yes, you’ve guessed it, I took the easy way out, and got rid of the account. I know, I know, maybe I should find a man, get the right bits sorted out, and settle down as a wife, or lover at least. And yes, it is flattering when you suddenly find at least half a dozen men of my age fancy me! Of course, they may just have been after some easy, casual sex, and nothing more? Now, I’ll never find out, I guess?

Of course, given I’m currently out of work, having a man looking after me financially (a la Marion Davies) might be handy, but I’m not brave enough to try any kind of relationship at the moment, I dont think I’m wired up for that! And thats assuming he’d still love me, until I got my bits changed lol!

But yes, fine, if I had any doubt that my looks would attract admirers, that was something that put me straight on the matter.

The video. The obvious Ben E King song, as a tribute to his recent death, though for now, I’ll stand alone…I think?

All you need is love!

And if anyone thinks thats the video, you’re wrong! ūüėõ¬† Equally, if anyone thinks I’m looking for more than a loving hug, wrong again. Well alright, chocolate, a meal, or even a coffee might be nice, but definitely no commitment, sorry about that.

Well actually, a Valentine card would be nice, havent had one in years, and certainly never had one since I came out (horrible term) as Transgender, that is for sure. So, if someone out there wants to make this girl’s day…No, not expecting any e-cards tomorrow all the same, lol!

Actually Transgender sexuality is a strange thing, everyone assumes that a Transgender woman would want a male partner, and I suspect most do. Me, if I was interested in sex (and to repeat, I’m not), I’d probably technically be a lesbian. But all the ‘Tranny admirers’ (another horrible term) seem to be men! The ones that intrigue me the most are the ones who claim to be straight, but fancy pre-op trans girls, or even TV’s, or Crossdressers! Sorry to break this to you guys, but you’re at least bisexual in that case!

No, I dont want a long term relationship, as I’ve said before, I’d be hell to live with after this many years of independence anyway. But being treated, as a woman, even just once,¬†yes, that would be fun.

Alright, the video, probably sums me up perfectly! And hey, Doris Day is in the video, even if she isnt singing on it. For the lovers out there, have a wonderful day tomorrow, just think of singletons like me at some point during the day though. Or maybe, just give me a shock in the morning when I open my email box


Since I’ve been gone

Yes, I know, its been a while since I last posted here. Sorry, but the last 3 days, the shifts have been quite long, to put it mildly, and the train company has been providing its usual awful service which didnt help either, for getting anything done here.

However, the good news, or bad news depending on how you see these, this is the first day off of 3 in a row, so you should get more soon. Whats happened, apart from work? Nothing all that exciting really. No, I havent rung my ‘beau’ to arrange a date, before anyone asks lol!

On a sports front, Ireland started their cricket year today in Kenya, and Keighley are currently playing their first game of the season as well, as I type this. Oh, and the NFL has finished, technically last weekend, but that wasnt a concern on my last post. Next big date in that sense is April, when they announce the schedule, and hopefully put Buffalo @ New England in the right sort of place, mid-end September if they can take a hint. Oh, and the on/off farce of last nights Ireland rugby match in Paris!

By now I’m fully used to having a cleavage 24/7, and it would now seem funny to be without them I suspect, though agreed, naturally curvaceous¬†would be so much more fun! And no, not one word from anyone at work about them still! I cant believe no one is at least curious, but anyway…

Its beginning to look like next year will be the one I walk in the footsteps of Louise Brooks. It really ought to be this year (25th anniversary of her death), but next year will have to do. Rochester (burial spot) will definitely at least be visited next April, if not the place I stay, which has to be a possible. Where else you ask? Wichita, Kansas in September is definitely becoming the hot favourite for that trip. She spent 2 short spells of her life there, and its a lot easier to reach than Cherryvale (birthplace) for a non driver like me. Thats probably a step too far unless I find a friendly chauffeur though, not even any bus service that I can find into that town! No, I have no plans to learn to drive in the interim!

Oh, and lastly before I sign off. There’s a significant date for some in 2 days time, but certainly not for me. Well not unless my beau has somehow found out my address lol! Cant actually remember the last time I had a Valentine card to be honest, might well be there hasnt been one this century as yet. No, I dont miss the fuss, but it just always strikes me at this time of year.

Alright, the video, all I suspect some come here for. An oldie, a great rock song, and maybe not too hard to work out from the blog title.

So In Love?

Yes, I might actually have been at one point, but when your body is playing as many tricks on you as mine has done, can you really be sure? Yes, I lived with someone for 12 years, the only meaningful relationship in my whole life, but even then, the last few years werent really as a couple. I knew something was wrong, I just assumed it was her and me drifting apart, but shortly after that I was fortunate enough to discover the real reason why, and since then, beyond one very brief attempt, I’ve been wise enough to give up on the whole romance thing, probably for the best.

Of course one major factor back then that probably didnt help any relationship, was trying to be a male partner to a female. Having a female partner was fine, its amazing how many transgender people are ‘same sex gender’ in their desires, but I didnt know that at the time. Now in all honesty I suspect I’m too independent for a relationship, even as a woman, lesbian relationship or otherwise. Also I doubt I could find a partner with such a total lack of interest in sex as I have anyway! I’ve also got to a point where making new¬†friends is tricky for me, even where I’m accepted as a woman, but I suspect thats more because of the years of trying to be someone I really wasnt, than anything else.

I admit it,¬†in recent times I’ve wondered if I was really in love even then, or was I just trying to conform to how people saw life should be? Hey, even I couldnt answer that one honestly, even with this much retrospect involved. I think, and certainly hope its easier for this generation than mine, it does seem slightly easier to be gay, or trans nowadays than back in the 70’s and 80’s, even if not yet perfect, especially in some parts of the world.

I dont think now, that even if I had all the surgery, that my attitude to love and sex would really change, its all too ingrained into me now. Twenty or thirty years ago, who knows, but its purely a hypothetical question of course, it didnt happen, and probably wont now, so the matter is unlikely to arise. And no, none of those I knew back then know about the new me, I do wonder how some would react though? Mixed bag, I suspect.

Right, thats enough musings for tonight, lets get to the video. Anyone old enough will have worked it out anyway from the title, and even more so if, as they should have done by now, they’ve worked¬†out I might be an OMD fan! So here it is,

Lonely This Christmas?

Lets face it, for the vast majority of my readers, this isnt something you’ve ever had to worry about, just be grateful for that. Me, been there, done that, though thankfully not in a good many years now, got a small, but great group of friends that I share house with, so not a problem for now. But yes, I’ve had a few in the past where its just been me, and a TV, and that was it, and there wasnt hundreds of channels to choose from back then, just 4! And none of this internet, and social network stuff to keep you amused either!

It wasnt nice, but I was 160 miles or so from my parents (mother’s 2nd marriage), didnt drive, and had to work Boxing Day, so all in all…its a strange day to spend alone, it must be said. I might have readers who will be alone this year on the ‘big day’, and they have all my best wishes, I know what spending that day alone is like. The rest of you, all I ask is that you think of those less fortunate than yourselves on that big day, and remember, that with a change of fortunes, that could be you.

Right, preaching over.

Today was the last day for shopping for me, to go and get the ‘Secret Santa’ present for someone at work. No, I’m not mentioning names, there might be a 0.1% chance they might read this, but somehow I doubt it. Its funny, however many years ago I first did this, it was ¬£5 for the gift, and despite all the inflation since then, it still seems a popular amount as the limit. In fact I ended up spending ¬£6 to get something that fitted the bill, for someone I dont really know all that well. Bit like the Christmas dinner thing at work, I have no idea why I do it, but I do!

Right, the highlight for most probably (she says self deprecatingly) is the music video, and yes, this might well be the penultimate Christmas one…or it might not! ūüėČ This is one from the wonderful glam rock (70’s) era of great Christmas songs. I have no idea why Les Gray got so into doing the Elvis impersonation siode of things, but he did do a good job of it, this is an example of that.