That certain thing called a Courtesan
A piece of amusing fluff that my brain can probably cope with today that I want to get out of my system, even if I know I’m not going to get any positive replies. Please note, this is only based on the 99.99% assumption that I’m not going to be fit for work ever again, or at least in the foreseeable future. Should my neurologist have the skills of Rotwang, and either replace my brain with the most complex AI system, or even better, do a Maria on me, and turn me into a robot, then this wont be needed, and I’d be a happy bunny. Again, given this is less likely than the other 0.01% chance, lets go with the flow (and silliness).
In September/October, the other 2 here are planning on heading down to Portugal on a leisurely basis, away for 3-4 weeks. Now if my body, and more importantly my brain were functioning normally, all would be fine. Cats might complain about erratic feeding times, but they’d survive. Thing is, my brain most definitely isnt functioning normally, is it? So yes, I’m going to need a minder of some kind, arent I? Even if the meds do seem to have my problems currently under control (if not my mind under control, sadly), I do need to be checked regularly, just in case. Unless…?
Oh fine, lets face it, I’m not your perfect companion/courtesan type, am I? I’m not a pretty, sexy little 20 something female, happy to pay her way in company, and err, other things (sex stuff, for those who really are innocent), am I? I’m a less than stunning, 60 something, with a few health issues that need keeping an eye on, and thats before you even get to the bit about being pre op Transgender, with no interest in sex! Equally, I’m less demanding than said sex kittens. As long as I have something basic to eat (clean minds, please), have internet connection, availability to televised baseball/NFL maybe, a comfy bed, and someone to make sure I dont have a seizure or something, I wont demand the world. Thats not to say that if someone offered the world (or any decent life standard in between), that I wouldnt say no, but…
And yes, I dont need an apartment//beach house (yes Marion Davies, looking at you) permanently, I just need somewhere comfortable to live for shall we say, 4 weeks? Mind, if you want to set me up as your modern day ‘Marion Davies’, well…?
But seriously, if any generous person wants to simply ‘mind’ me, for a few weeks, somewhere decently warm (or warmer), no commitment, for little financial reward, then fine, thats all I really need. I’m not very mobile, to put it politely, but I’m definitely not an acting diva, either, darlings. But if you want a companion for events/meals, well…
Talking of which, if all this supposed time travel stuff is true, and someone in the 1920’s reads this, and fancies a less than frisky flapper for a few weeks, looking the part, send me a telegram, or something. Or email (stephmajor8@hotmail.com), if really a time traveller, lol. (modern people can also use said email address too)
Alright, my dream result of this request? A wealthy person from California, or Florida, seeking a companion for a few weeks, probably live in, or regularly visited, where I could play the part of the ‘lady of the house’ for a few weeks would be heaven, but that doesnt happen in real life, does it?
Equally, if anyone needs a guinea pig for robot, or AI experiments, well…? 😉 Lets face it, I could really do with a new brain, or ideally, body! Now that really would be fun!
OK, wishful thinking over, which leads to video time. Being bisexual, I couldnt go strictly with the song title, but this would be heaven. One of those delicious movies with a 20’s feel! Oh, I love Twiggy’s outfit!
Lets spend the night together?
No, just long enough to read the blog will be fine, really. Mind, on the day that was Marion Davies’s birthday (she would have been 122 today), if anyone really wants to be my William Randolph Hearst, then contact me. I wont expect to get crushed in the rush, mind, but more on that later.
Today, seemingly, as is the want with trending days for everything, is seemingly ‘Festival Of Sleep Day’. Actually, a rare event, one I approve of, totally! Mainly because at this time of year, when the weather gets freezing cold, my back starts to object to things, like moving, and other technical needs. And yes, sleeping in a warm (or warmer) bed is something that my back approves of, as opposed to moving around in freezing cold weather. So yes, at times like this, hibernation sounds like a heavenly concept to an old crock like me. Even more so at the moment, because all my treatments have been messed up by the Holiday season, meaning I’m now over 5 weeks since Physiotherapy (normally every 4 weeks), and have to try and survive to next Tuesday before the back can be worked on. I’m even over 2 weeks since any kind of treatment (flotation tank session), and the back is giving me all sorts of issues at the moment, even more so when temperatures are struggling to hit 40, let alone anything decent!
I know, humans cant do standard hibernation, like some animals can, even if little things like work didnt get in the way! So yes, oh for one of those stasis pod things, where I could be put to sleep until it warms up somewhat, around about May, shall we say? I guess it would be weird sleeping about 4-5 months (or a bit more) away, then just waking up again when the weather has improved sufficiently for old crocks like me? Fine, I’d love it, so if anyone has one laying around that they want to trial on people…? Could miss the chaos of Brexit that way too, another blessing for me! Mind, imagine catching up on events when you did wake up, lol!
I’m sure that in time, something akin to a stasis pod will be created. Lets face it, as things stand, its the only way anyone is going to do genuine deep space travel, is if humans can be put into storage for a number of years. Even Mars is going to be several months, or more, with little for people to do much of the time getting there, so…? As I say, if anyone wants to do early trials on one of those, with a human volunteer, I’m happy to sleep the winter away!
OK, the video is a ‘witty’ moment from me. Lets face it, who would want to spend the night together with an old asexual trans woman like me? I saw a couple of friends bemoaning the lack of partners (in their cases, females, in US), and they’re in a better position than me! They’re younger, interested in a healthy relationship, and not crocked by disability. So yeah, what chance have I got? But equally, if someone is crazy enough to want to set this ‘baby’ up with an apartment, somewhere warm all year round (or warmer), then I’m more than happy to oblige. Hell, I’ll even change my name to Marion Davies, if thats your thing? I’m an actress too, though not in her league.
Video is some very old Rolling Stones, from over 50 years ago. Just enjoy, OK?
Or if someone just wants to send me a nice warm bed/pod to sleep in, I’d love that too!
Turning Marion Davies
Oh fine, I suspect that with the exception of maybe a small handful of people, if that many, the title is lost on my readers. Dont worry, I will explain, and even the video has a clever connection too!
I trust by now that all my readers know I’ve got osteoporosis related back issues, which leads me to take painkillers (of a decent level), and use a gel on my back, to help keep the pain down. Fine, they are also aided by a back brace corset, that I might use as much for the corset like effects, as the back pain effects, but fine, it helps with both, OK?
Anyway, today was the day to visit the surgery, discuss the situation, and see where we go from here. Basically, just as I thought things were getting a little better, and that maybe I could ease up slightly on the meds, winter struck! No, not Alaskan style, but cold enough for the temperatures to get down to the low 20’s, which did my back no good whatsoever, even with the brace! Outcome of that, for the winter at least, some more tablets to take, not less! Still, if it helps with my condition, no complaints from me! Well, fine, the cost of 2 prescriptions, instead of 1 isnt great when you’ve cut back on your working week, but anyway…
Oh fine, why Marion Davies, I hear you asking!
On a truthful, but none too serious basis, my nurse suggested that I move somewhere a lot warmer for the winter than Yorkshire! Actually, if practical, would make a lot of sense, given the heat would obviously do my very sore joints the world of good. Yes, true, as I discovered in September, when I was away. Benidorm was her suggestion, mine unsurprisingly was California, though in truth, neither are going to happen in my current financial position, unless…?
Back in the 1920’s, a certain young film star, and a wealthy newspaper magnate got together, though they never got married. Why, because said newspaper magnate was already married, and his catholic wife wouldnt divorce him. So arrangements were agreed, and William Randolph Hearst, took Marion Davies as his partner, and courtesan. Yes, wife in every sense but one. To be honest, he didnt do her movie career any favors, she was a great comic actress, he wanted her to play more serious roles, and given he had the money, and the power…Seriously, consider checking out one of her silent, comedic roles, and enjoy. ‘The Patsy’ is my personal favorite, for the impersonations she does, but any available will be a treat.
I know, I’m not a film star, and I doubt any newspaper magnate would ever be attracted to me, but besides all that…If there is some wealthy person who wants me as their courtesan (I’m bi, if that helps?) somewhere warm/hot, ideally with connections to movie/theater roles, or who has a robot fetish, who wants to help heal my back with some heat, let me know. But put it this way, I wont die waiting, no expectations on that front, lol! But fine, anyone prepared to pamper, and look after a lady, in need of some heat in her joints, anywhere would be fine! No, again, I dont expect to get crushed with offers!
Right, the video. There is actually a Marion Davies connection in this. Kirsten Dunst actually played her in a movie, ‘The Cat’s Meow’ about an incident that happened on Hearst’s luxury yacht in the early 20’s. This video is a fine example of the strangeness of life in Japan, I guess?
If you want to make me smarter?
Seemingly, you should buy me some chocolate! And believe me when I say, that I wont say no, if you offer it! Oh, and not only that, its the perfect time to treat me, seeing its my birthday on Wednesday. Yes, I’m 29, or at least a multiple thereof, and be careful what you say, on that point lol! No, I’m not joking about chocolate, read this!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/12187042/Chocolate-makes-you-smarter-study-suggests.html
Mind, if you are getting me some, I would prefer something decent, but this poor church mouse wouldnt say no to any treats at present, I guess? I know, fine, I’m not going to have a dozen messages (or even one, probably) asking where to send the chocolate in the morning, but at least for now, I can dream! Bottles of alcohol might be nice, but not sure how wise that would be, given how I feel at present, but anyway…
Mind, if anyone is offering the opportunity for the opposite result to be done to me, turned into a mindless, obedient machine, it might be more fun than the current battle for a job, and besides, post treatment, I wouldnt concern myself too much with that option anyway lol! I know, I know, but… If someone just wants to give me the treat of pretending to do it to me, as a birthday treat, I’d love it, btw.
In all honesty, of all the 58 upcoming birthdays I’ve had in my life (I know, the first few I wasnt terribly aware of, but), I’ve got to say this is probably the one I’ve looked forward to, with the least enthusiasm. Yes, the working situation is probably a great part of it, after all this time, its really got to me. But yes, apart from that, its that growing realisation that my time here, is probably now on the down side of the hill, not that I suspect at the moment, I really mind that fact. Not helping on that front is so many music heroes of my youth departing this world at present. I know most are a decade or so ahead of me, but even so, it does make you think!
I suppose my one regret, that seemingly gets less likely to happen over the years, is the fact that I’ve never worked anywhere other than the UK, in my life. Maybe it annoys me more because it almost happened on a few occasions, but for whatever reason, never did. Lets face it, how many firms outside the UK are going to take a chance on a 58 year old? Yes, exactly! I know, turning down that US job offer in 2003, is going to haunt me to my grave, I suspect? It might still happen, but being practical, probably not, now.
So, beyond chocolate, what would I like for my birthday, you might be asking, but I doubt it! A job would be the obvious answer, anywhere reasonable, and nowadays, that covers a larger range of locations than a year ago! Fine, LA would be heavenly, but this is real life, not a Golden Age Hollywood movie I’m living! Mind, if anyone wants me to recreate the Marion Davies story, with me in the Marion role, I wouldnt say no!
For those (ha ha) that want to spend slightly more budget on me, I could do with a small second hand chest of drawers, for my room. Maybe 2, depending on size, maybe a small wardrobe (fabric type would be fine), so that I can get my clothes sorted out, without worrying about spending money!
I might not say no to a full length, silver metallic bodysuit, with or without mind controlling electrodes, but…yes, I’m kidding, I think, or maybe not? 😉
Lastly, should there be a very rich person out there, with more money than sense, I’d love another 4 weeks in the sun, in an apartment, in Hollywood! I know, I know, but if I dont mention that, and there is some crazy millionaire out there…ha ha!
But yes, fine, if you want to get me a bar of Bournville chocolate, or similar at present, thats good by me! Might even make me smarter, you never know?
The video, well yes, the song is old, was released when I was about 6! This version though, is a live one from 2009, still sounding pretty good. Yes, song could be quite apt? 😉
stevielounicks 
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