Category Archives: LGBT

Something’s got a hold on me

Well I would guess its go surprise to people here if I do a Transgender posting here, even if strictly I’m intersex, but I will still always relate to mtf transgender issues, even when I do finally get the operation out of the way, and yes, I hope the brain issues wont stop that at least. But making a post where I disagree with the transgender crowd, well…

Its fair to say at my age, even ignoring the new health issues, that I’m never going to play sport again at my age. The only sport I really played at anything more than basic level more than a couple of years after leaving school was cricket, and though I was a decent player (I played both at school, and club levels), I was never going to be a world beater. I did play a little recreational golf after I left school, but that soon stopped after a couple of years, due to lack of time, and not being a Nick Faldo/Laura Davies at the game, it was never going to go further. I think at one point I was a 13 handicap, which isnt amazing, but not awful either. I did try again, about 25-30 years later, but lets say I was more like a 113 handicap by then.

But then, since I started to transition, apart from the issue of getting old, I decided it was the end of my sporting career anyway. I know, strictly, I could play as a woman, especially after transition was confirmed, but even if I’d been in a position to play sport as a woman, I dont think I would. I know, you look at me, and apart from perhaps the height issue (I’m 5ft 9 tall/ 1.74 m?) I’ve got the build of a woman, but anyway…

I know some have, and more will, but its just how I feel about things, OK?

But it seems that some are so determined to make it at sport, that they have less morals about matters than me. It seems one team in the Kent Women’s Cricket League are so determine to succeed that rules, well… Now let me say I’ve only read one article about this, and the club, and the player involved dont want to say anything on the subject, but… One ladies team seeming include a ‘woman’ who is strongly built, 6ft 1 in height in their team.

Fine, but this is seemingly a woman who hasnt declared to be transitioning, isnt taking female hormones, and according to reports only declares as a woman on cricket match days, which seems very convenient. Of course she’s scoring lots of runs, taking lots of wickets, and all that stuff. So suddenly a moderate team has become a league winning capable team, isnt that handy?

Now, I wouldnt want to say she isnt genuine in the transition, but if so, why isnt she living as a woman for 7 days of the week? Yes, I do cynically wonder if this will be a 1 year wonder, or not? Handily for them, in England, unless you get into National Squad contention, you dont get sex tests done!

In the sense of glory, I dont care how desperate this team are to win, by doing things like this, but my concern is the simple one, if as I suspect it will, this is proved to be a fraud, where does it leave genuine transgender people in the future, both in terms of general life, and things that are gender related, from public conveniences upward? But yes, life is hard enough for us, without people working the system for the sake of glory, because lets face it, as has happened with this, its eventually going to get out, and probably in a negative way.

OK, rant over. Mind, I’ve acted as a woman, even before I started transitioning (long before in fact), but that was just a part I was needed to play, that I didnt cheat anyone out of, so… The fun is, if it wasnt for the health issues, I might have been acting this autumn as a woman again, ah well…

Right, video time. One of my favourites of all time, in truth. Yes, I’d love to be the lady in grey, with the helmet in this, seriously

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Lets stick together?

Given it was Leeds Pride today, I guess its an apt moment for a LGBT related blog. No, at my age, even without all my recent more major health issues I probably wouldnt have been there, and lets face it currently, I’d need someone to push me in a wheelchair through the parade, but anyway…

It was actually the start of the pre season play in the NFL this week, with the presentation of the new members of the Hall Of Fame yesterday. One of said new members is Champ Bailey, and the end of his speech contained many comments about race issues and how players like himself are treated in the game. You can see it here,

The irony for me was seeing it posted by the NFL people on Twitter, when lets face it, most of his race issues are made more serious by the owners of the NFL teams in the first place. Thing is, if you listened to his words only, you would think there were no other equality issues in the NFL, oh I wish! So, the reason only one played has ever came out as Gay in the NFL is because he’s the only one ever, right? And guess what, once he announced it, he was snubbed by the whole league. Now its possibly he didnt lived up to his college career, but he went from being an early draft player, to being picked in the last round, then dropped altogether quickly, yes, right…

Fine, its a bit of a macho sport, so unlike to be hundreds, but just one, who didnt live up to expectations, seriously? I suspect its more a case that most just keep quite about the matter, in truth. So anyway, being the quiet, shy (not) intersex woman that I am, I’ve sent him a message asking whether he’d be prepared to support GB (not going to be any LT, I’m sure) players who want to come out. Given it was a few hours ago, I’m not surprised to have no reply yet, but not really expecting to hear from him, all the same, but maybe…?

And yes, lets face it, its not just for the players that we need someone involved in NFL to take a stand, its for the fans visiting the games too, to make them feel welcome too.  To be fair, all the big male sports in the US dont have a great record on all equality matters in a G sense, but this got the response as the current one.

I could say I’ve had no issues at MLB games in the crowd, but not sure most have realised that there was a Trans/Intersex woman in the crowd (and toilets) with them, anyway. Oh, and fine, LA is LA, but…

Yes, wouldnt it be nice if a Baseball player was comfortably enough to come out as Gay (there has to be some, somewhere in the systems, surely?) without fear of reprisal?

Oh yes, if I do ever hear from Champ Bailey, I will let you know, but dont hold your breath!

Right, video time. What we all need to do, white/black, straight/gay, or whatever, I only wish

Make me a natural woman?

Seeing I promised to throw this piece of hypothesis up to (hopefully) a bigger audience, I’d better be a good girl and do so. Let me add that regardless, its not going to change my view on my status, and also, at this point at least, I must point out that beyond knowing that I have a womb, I have no idea whatsoever as to what the rest of my internal genitalia is, as no one has ever checked beyond that point. So if its discovered I have other boy bits internally, the whole question counts for nothing, but…

Given the whole ‘feminist lesbian’ group, who believe you cant be a woman unless you ‘in every way’ present as a woman, stance (no!), against the whole young Trans Activist thing, who believe that someone who hasnt even reached puberty, let alone the age of consent just be allowed to change gender (equally no!) battle that is going on, I’ve decided to take the ‘easy’ route out, and declare myself Intersex, which strictly I am, but it takes a whole lot more explaining, but anyway…

(For those not up on the matter, it means, in my case at least, that I have the most obvious boy bit at present, but equally I have a womb, which most would say is one of the more obvious women bits, but anyway. As to what else I have in there, probably best I dont know! But the thought that struck me is this, if I only have one boy bit, and I get rid of that, does that actually make me a natural woman?

Given that nowadays they dont actually remove it, just using the flesh to create the vagina, I guess that strictly I wont get rid of it anyway, but equally,  if it was meant to be a vagina in the first place…?

Strictly, as I say, it really doesnt matter, all my paperwork says I’m female, even without the bits being bobs, and besides, assuming medical permission for the surgery given things, I plan to get it done, so… But yes, just an interesting thought, if all my bits are then female, does that mean I’ve transitioned, or do I become a natural woman?

So yes, as my dear friend Kiefer suggested, this has to be the obvious song. Just that most people would assume Aretha, so coming out of left field, its Carole King, who actually happened to help write the song, as well as, in this case, sing it.

Foxy lady on the run?

I know, two in a row, but lets get them out of the way when I can remember what the blog subject is, OK? Probably nothing tomorrow mind, just saying.

A couple of days ago I saw an article which saddened me, but didnt surprise me, in truth. I dont expect every in my life for there ever to come a time when the LGBT hate percentage reaches single figures, let alone zero. But over the last decade or so, the reported homophobia/LGBTphobia percentage had been going down. The last survey a couple of years ago showing 25% of people being anti LGBT people, from dislike, to downright hate. Too high I grant you, but better than the 34% it was a decade ago. This year, for the first time since 2007, the figure went up, back up to 28%.

Of course the increase may not be a genuine increase, its just that now, with seemingly the whole world swinging further to the right, it might just be that people are more emboldened to say what they really think. It certainly seems the case in the US, and has been so for a while, but now it seems to be growing in the UK too. I suspect, as I say, that some of this is people who never liked LGBT people, but didnt say anything are now opening coming out and showing their hate, though I suspect others are being influenced by social media and friends too.

Especially when you see pieces that show LGBT people infecting others by spraying them with ‘gay water’ and the like, which is comical, but frighteningly, some believe it. There is also the fact that so many LGBT people (notably a group of Lesbians, and young Trans Activists) nowadays believe they literally have to get in the face of straight people to get their message over, rather than polite education.

I dont see what straight people have to worry about in truth. We dont secretly slip potions, or inject people with anything that instantly turns them gay. I hate to break it to the cranks, but it cant be done. Though mind, its believed all people are born bisexual, its just that tradition, and peer pressure means that most believe that boys will date girls, and anything else will destroy the world. Sorry, it wont! But equality, when there is a group of lesbians who wont date bisexual women because they might taint themselves with a date (or more) with a man, what hope is there of putting on a united front?

I know, I’m preaching to the converted, the LGBT haters arent going to read a blog by me, lets face it. But if any read this, just ask yourself why you’re afraid of LGBT people, realise how daft you are, and accept us. No, feel free to be an ally, and no more, thats all we ask.

Of course, if it makes someone feel better about coming out, by thinking I’m twisting your arm, or your mind, with this blog, why not? But I’m not, OK?

Right, the video. most women of my age nowadays, chasing younger men, or women, are known as cougars. But guess what, we used to be called wily old foxes. And yes, who knows, very soon, I might be out there, on the run for a young partner to care for me? Tenuous, but its the excuse for tonights glam rock video, just saying…

Marketing crash

The funny thing with some TV commercials is when they get the accompanying music really wrong. Generally its because they see the song title, and dont look into the actual lyrics, or meaning of the song, and see that it causes the whole thing to backfire on them.

There is a car company over here, called Seat trying to sell one of their cars at the moment. Please, I’m a non driver, I have no idea which brand it is, I dont care. Even if I was a driver, I’d be barred now for at least a year because of the seizures, anyway. As it is, I dont drive regardless, but…

They are clearly trying to make their car seem cool, and exciting, so some marketing whizz kid looked at a list of suitable song title, and lo and behold, someone thought Lou Reed’s song, ‘Walk On The Wild Side’ to be right. After all, their car is clearly meant to have a wild side, so perfect.

Of course, as anyone cool enough to know the song, or old enough to remember it coming out, its all about a different kind of wild side. Transgender/Crossdressing, lots of drugs, lots of prostituting style selling of bodies for sex, all of which are perfectly suitable for the selling of cars to families, well…maybe not?

Of course, the sad fact is, that most of their prospective market just think of it being a cool tune to try and sell a car, given the song is now nearly 50 years old! But yes, this ‘Holly/Candy/Carla?’ just finds it rather ironic, and amusing when they are trying to sell a family car.

Yes, I know, almost as ironic as all these American politicians using ‘Born in the USA’ as a patriotic song, I guess?

I wonder when someone is going to start using ‘The Final Countdown’ for an event due in October over here, lol.

Right, the video. Yes, the very obvious song, could I do anything else? Of course, being that old, a true live performance, no go. But at least this version has Holly, Candy, Joe, and a few others included in it, as a touch of history

A tainted love?

One thing that seems to have crept in with the commercialism of social media, is far too many companies trying to tweak their adverts to appeal to whichever group are in fashion at the time. So obviously in June, attention turns to Pride Month, and some firms try to make it look like they care about LGBT people, when all they are really doing is that by mentioning the subject, or maybe putting something rainbow on their banner that we will all conveniently forget how little they care for us during the other 11 months of the year.

Some fall for this, and said companies are duly grateful for said bonus business. Others just go on as before, completely ignore them, much as these companies will do with us, on July 1st! Then there are those of us who point out that the platitudes are little more than that, and suggest they do something to actually support LGBT people, and not just their profits. Today was one of the latter.

There was a group called EY asking on Twitter about who it was best for them to engage with to discuss LGBT inclusive policies. There were 3 options on the poll, none of which was the obvious answer, LGBT+ discussion groups, but all of which were groups that they would hope to grow their ‘advisory’ business through, at said profit to themselves, obviously. Their lack of response to numerous people, and groups pointing out their obvious omission to them, not a word! In other words, they wish to appear to be LGBT friendly, but its easy to see that their only interest in doing so is if it brings in business for them, presumably from people regarding them as LGBT friendly!

Mind, this isnt the worst case this month, would you believe. At the start of the month, some  company duly posted on Twitter, with a Rainbow flag under their business logo, and trying to show their love. The trouble was, someone bought up their posting from earlier this year, which showing them to be just the opposite at that point, pretty homophobic, to say the least. They hastily removed the tweet, but of course it had been reposted numerous times by then, so hopefully their so called stance was thoroughly shot down.

Oh, and they arent the only ones, thousands of companies do what I would term ‘rainbow’ postings in June, only to gain business they might not otherwise get, and nothing more. And yes, this is just the one that concerns me, they do this for all campaigns, so think carefully before you support some firms that seem surprisingly over supportive, just saying.

OK, video time. Yes, its the obvious one. Live version, very well done, long after the song was a massive hit. And yes, the opposite to the ‘Hard Sell’ some companies seem to make. It is 10 minutes plus in all, just warning you.

People are strange?

One of the things I find odd about social media comes back to people watching, and who shows an interest in you. On Facebook recently (last month or so), I’ve got dozens of friend requests, that to put it mildly, are out of the ordinary. They’ve been people I havent known before, had no previous contact with, and the only thing I could even see in common with them would be the Transgender thing.

But even then… I quickly put together that the vast majority of these weren’t the sort of Transgender women that actually had anything in common with me. Admittedly it took a few that I acted as a nominal mother hen to, before I got the connection, but then it started to get regular. Many only with few pictures, so actual comments, and indeed some that seems to do nothing but put up adverts for things they seemingly wanted me to buy. The other thing that crept in after the first few (have no idea if this was deliberate or not?) was profiles that made it very clear they were anti men, in all ways. So anyway, after the first dozen or so got friends acceptance, I started getting very careful, and have since rejected far more than I’ve accepted. Given I’ve not bothered to follow the postings of these people, I havent actually got round to unfriending any yet, but maybe…? Hey, I’m bisexual, have nothing against men at all.

But actually, the one who inspired this blog, isnt from Facebook, but Twitter. People follow you there, and short of blocking them, its hard to stop them doing so. Generally if people follow me, I take a look at their recent posts, and make a call on whether to follow back, or not.

A few weeks back, someone started following me, and her profile had enough to tempt me to follow back, even though I didnt know her at all. It would have been an LGBT issue, but now, a few weeks later, I’m not even sure she’s LGBT! In fact, may well be phobic towards us!

A week or so ago, she went into what, shall I call weird mode. Firstly it was rants against a man that was supposedly making contact with her, after they’d broken up, and that she was threatening to report him to the police. His responses to her postings seemed to suggest he was doing nothing of the kind. She then started to attack the police for not acting on her claims any more. I assume (but cant be sure) that even if they did investigate, they came to the conclusion he’d done nothing wrong, but she doesnt want to accept that fact.

Then this morning, among my notifications to deal with, was what I can only described as a typical TERF, anti trans question about my right to a female passport. Not that its any of her business, but I politely explained that I qualified on grounds of length of time living as a woman, hoping that would satisfy her. Nope! Came back saying it shouldnt be allowed pre op, so just as I was about to just give up following her, I read the last line, in which she claimed she wasnt transphobic! When I stopped laughing at that last comment I checked, and yes, she’d already stopped following me, but of course I have no idea when she did so! So yes, I’ve blocked her, just to be safe.

I know, maybe I should feel sorry for her, it might all be a mental health issue, for all I know? But its no one I know, she lives nowhere near me, so what can I do?

I know, the whole world is full of strange people, just wish a few less were attracted to me, but anyway…?

OK, video time. Back to the old system, blog title is same as song title, what can I say?

And who would you like to date today?

(Disclaimer for those who need it: There is zero evidence that Gertrude Olmstead was bisexual, lesbian, or any other sexual preference except straight, so despite comments here, her honour should be treated accordingly. Indeed she was married happily for 42 years, until her husband passed away. However, she seems to have had more than a few shots taken, gender cross style, so who knows?)

As someone who (all too often) went out on dates as a man, for obvious reasons at the time, I do think its a bit of a shame that I’ve never got to do a proper date as a woman. Clearly I’ve done group meals as a woman, and indeed had a few dinners alone with Eric, but nothing in a romantic sense, though some of the restaurants might have thought otherwise. No, I’ve never done an actual date with a woman, as a woman, now that might be fun too!

But how about the ultimate in amusement, a date, me dressed utterly feminine, and a woman, dressed in a more male style? Therefore, when I saw these two pictures of said lady, Gertrude Olmstead, on one of the vintage Facebook groups recently, it did amuse me that I fancied her in both styles

Twist my arm, an all girl date would be heaven. But seriously, her dressed like that, as a man, oh goodness, I could easily swoon in his arms, and let ‘him’ have ‘his’ wicked way with me! As I say, checking her out on Google images, this is far from her only ‘boyish’ image, but its wrong for me to suggest anything more than for film roles, or promotion shots?

But fine (she died in 1975, aged 77), post my SRS surgery, her with a strap on, I could just be in heaven! Is it silly to want to have sex with a woman dressed as a man that way? Oh, and I’ve found an earlier shot of Gertrude, where I could very happily swap places with her!

Gertrude 3

I know, you could soon get your arms out of there, but I doubt I’d want to, given its Lon Chaney threatening to do something evil to her, back in 1925!

So yes, RIP Gertrude Olmstead (1897-1975), and please forgive me this little piece of wishful thinking. But yes, take it from me, you have the style to look gorgeous as both a woman, and a man!

The video, another woman that seemingly I could fancy as a woman, and with the right, minimal makeover, as a man, Laura Branigan. Apt title, lol!

Come join our band

Yes, today marks the start of Pride Month, hence the blog. No, you really dont need to become LGBT unless you really want to, and feel its the right thing for you to do. I mean, if you want me to arrange a session of mind control, so you dont feel guilty about being bi, or whatever, let me know. But you know what they say about not being against something until you’ve tried it? OK, kidding, really. And yes, I know, I left I off the list, but I’m trying to keep it simple, what can I say?

Lets solve one basic question which I’ve actually already been asked today.

Why does there need to be a Pride Month

In truth, I really wish we didnt need there to be a Pride Month, because by now, it really ought to be a case of, You’re gay/lesbian/trans/mermaid/ fairy (I might have slipped some fun ones in there, to see if you’re awake), so what? Because, yes, that really should be the reaction to that news.

Sadly, as most of my readers should already know, its not as easy as all that, or we (hopefully) wouldnt still be needing to celebrate Pride Month. But I suspect that until we reach that laid back state (if ever), we’re going to need to stand up for our cause.

And now lets go with the question I wish I could answer positively

Do all LGBT folk get on well with each other

I only wish. Though the mermaids, and fairy’s seem a friendly bunch, though in the case of the latter, the wings can be a pain. Yes, joking again, to see if you’re still with me. Both sort of relate to me!

The first big issue is we folk who prefer to keep our options open, by declaring ourselves as bisexuals. You know, we can fancy the ladies (my main preference), and the guys (some rock my boat, what can I say?), all to varying degrees on the scale from 99/1 to pure 50/50, and anywhere in between. I’d say I’m somewhere between 80/20 to 95/5, but it shouldnt matter. Only thing is, there is a group of lesbians who swear off bi girls, because we might have, or might in the future go with a guy, as well as girls, and taint them. Seriously, since when did fancying guys become infectious?

Oh, and the other one affects my other self, regardless of whether you call me Transgender (declared), or Intersex (reality). A group of Lesbians (very similar bunch to above) say that unless you’re born a woman, it doesnt matter what you do, you’re a man. Yes, all the regulations, get your surgery done, get your paperwork all changed over, you’re still a man. I mean, I think its crazy enough that women like me, who have lived as a woman for 10 years, but havent yet got our ‘bits bobbed’ dont qualify as a woman is stupid enough, but I suppose there is the thing of male bits in a female toilet, but seriously, mine havent worked that way for years! But when you’ve had everything done, legally, and surgically, but you’re still a man, seriously?

Oh, but dont mention the concept of Trans Men to them, as then using a ladies facility, heavens no! Yes, you’ve got it, they’re men too! But…they were born a woman, with woman bits, and…

NO!

So yes, as well as having to deal with all those folk who think LGBTI+ folk are something spawned by the Devil (we’re not, honest), we’re having fights between ourselves too. Yes, I believe firmly that everyone is entitled to be which ever gender they want to be, and have whatever sexual preferences they wish for, but anyway…

Oh, and yes, if anyone wants to buy me a mermaid tail, or fairy wings, well…? 😉

I hereby promise to try not to overdo Pride related matters this month, but thats mainly because if I need to mention it again, it will probably be for the wrong reasons. I’m sorry, but this year, I’m going to have to pass on doing anything speech wise, for health reasons, I just dont think the brain is up to it at present. Not that it was likely to happen, but I’ve always offered it, but not this year, sorry. Hopefully the offer will be back next year, but thats subject to the brain functioning decently again.

OK, video time. I’ve always wanted to use this song, and now I’ve found a way. Oh, yes, I would love one of those gold, or silver outfits at the start, oh please. I’m not saying any of the ladies are L, or B, but I could hope. As to the guys, none being G, or B, well…lol?

What you going to do about it. The passing of time.

Is this LGBT issue? Is this politics? Is it both? Well, maybe…?

In truth, on 24th May 1988, I didnt know I was transgender, intersex, and heaven forbid, bisexual to top it all. I knew I was a bit (to put it mildly) confused about my sexuality, and other stuff, but didnt really know what it all was. Funnily enough, I was supposedly in a straight relationship, with a woman, that in truth, never had a hope.. The fact that we lived together for as long as 11 years, in hindsight, was pretty amazing, but we did. I mean, there was a spell before the end, when we knew it was coming to the end, but didnt really know why, other than my feelings of it being wrong, trying to be in a straight relationship with her. I wonder if we could ever have made it as 2 lesbians, lol? Probably not, but I have to wonder?

Anyway, on above date, something critical happened, that at the time I didnt really know applied to me, but now… Section 28 was introduced by the Conservative government of the time, which made it even harder to be LGBT, especially in an education sense, but done damage to numerous LGBT people over the years it lasted. Funny how things go round, about education, and LGBT issues in the UK, isnt it?

So, one year later to the day (yes, 30 years ago today), Stonewall was founded, to fight this ghastly legislation. Eventually, thankfully, Section 28 was repealed, and things improved to some degree for LGBT people. Equally, thankfully, though that fight is over, Stonewall is still here to support us, and judging by recent happenings, we still need them today, I only wish we didnt. Not helped by the fact that TI people seem to need ever more support against others that are meant to be with us, a section of the L’s! Me, on 2 counts!

Firstly, lets deal with the one that annoys me, those that wont accept that Trans Women are real women, even after their bits have been ‘bobbed’, for those that applies to. I dont know exactly what TERF stands for, but thats the general term for them. What is even more hypocritical about them isnt just the fact that they are against Transgender women using the same facilities as them (because we were born men, or for intersex folk like me, born also with boy bits), they are against Transgender men sharing facilities with them, even if by their ‘reasoning’ they were born with girl bits, but now have boy bits! They see them as men too, so you tell me? As for those of us with both genitalia, as to what facilities we’re meant to use, heaven knows?

The other thing that amuses me with some lesbians (generally, but not exclusively the same ones) is their abhorrence to relationships with bisexual women, because heaven forbid, we’ve had sex with men, as well as women. Seems with some, that even looking at a man in ‘that way’ is enough to condemn you. So yes, any time you think all LGBTI+ people support each other, please think again.

And yes, guess what, Stonewall is more than happy to support both these groups, despite their own brands of bi, and trans phobia. So Stonewall is good, but like regulations, still has a long way to go, dont kid yourself.

I tried to come up with something original for the video, and seeing Section 28 was designed to make LGBT activity illegal in so many ways, I came up with this! Maybe we now need to load up with rainbow, rubber bullets?