Not talking loud and clear, and other issues
Given I am now halfway through my second week of rest after treatments stopped for now at least, I am in a position to give an update on matters relating to my health, and recovery progress. So, lets do so…
Its fair to say I have good days, I have not so good days, and days when I feel pretty drained. To be fair, I was warned this would happen, so I cant really be too surprised about it. The thing is, its not just a physical matter, as my voice also seems to have days when it wants to work decently, and others where the voice really just about is usable, and indeed I can do both of those in the same day, some of the time. But as long as I dont overdo it, I survive.
One problem I am finding it harder to get by with at present though, really is only a ‘Trans’ problem, and that is the fragility of the skin on my face, especially noticeable on my top lip for shaving purposes, though in truth, currently shaving anywhere (with anything) on my face isnt the greatest experience, so in truth, I’ve pretty much given up on doing so until my skin recovers somewhat. Now if I was a natural woman, probably not a problem, but being Trans, more so. Even more so of course, because the hair on the top of my head is either very short, or non existent, giving even more of the wrong kind of look! Oh, and even more so at present, as I’m not bothering with a wig, because where I havent lost much hair, it doesnt give a snug fit. So, I think its going to be a top, and trousers look for now when out, and I’ll now tell you why…
On Tuesday lunchtime, the door bell rang, so I went to answer it, as we were expecting a delivery, and Eric was resting upstairs. But no, this was some beggar type, clearly just after money, so I declined him. Which led him to issue a stream of vitriol about a man wearing a dress, which I would normally reply with similar talk, but I guess at moment, I suppose he has a bit of a case, even if it was hardly the way to convince me to give him anyway, if I was open to discuss his situation, was it? Well, I wasnt, but even less so then, lol! I did ‘threaten’ to call the police to him, which, after a bit more less than graceful talk from him led to him heading rapidly out the front gate, just in case I did, I guess?
Oh, and then to add to the fun today, through the joy of Social Media, it seems that J K Rowling seems determined to limit her reading market even more, by joining the group who think that its impossible for anyone to be anything but 2 genders, therefore hopefully ensuring her sales to Transgender, and Intersex people collapse to zero! Mind, the way that some of the militant Transgender people have reacted to this is hardly likely to endear them to her, but anyway… that seems the way of everything on Social Media now, to just reply to insults with even stronger insults, ah well…
OK, video time. Bit of irony, as its one of the matters I’m definitely having problems with at present…
Repair needed for the Western World?
OK, this is where I get sneaky, and do politics, without really doing direct politics, lol. How, by avoiding the obvious comments, but at the same time, discussing a matter caused by all that ghastly politics, both sides of the Atlantic.
I think the one thing we all have to accept, whichever side of the Brexit issue (in UK) you fall on, or in the US, whichever side of the Trump issue (in US) you back, the one thing both matters have done is polarised views. Lets face it, both issues tend to mean you fall either on one side of the fence, or the other. I suppose it is just about possible to sit on the fence, with some clever thinking, or more likely, the fact that you’re sick of it all, and just want to let it all play out around you, but anyway…
The problem with all of this, however it all plays out, will be getting people back together living in a way where politics isnt going to get in the way of something, at some point in the near future, especially in the ‘I’m the only person that matters’ lifestyle that so many seem to live nowadays. I know, all ramped up by Social Media, and You Tube and the like, but all the same…
Trouble is, with some, its creeping into other areas of life too. Last night, on a forum, actually related to Horse Racing, there was a LGBT attack by someone, that to say was awful would be putting it mildly. Sadly I have to say, I reported it quickly to said forum as a hate posting, but as of about an hour ago, it hadnt been taken down, which says very little about them, I guess? It was someone who had made more than a few right wing comments on Brexit, but I’d ignored those, but this, seriously…
The other matter that makes me despair about how all of this actually gets fixed in time actually relates to a right wing, US based former friend on Facebook, who even after I stopped being his ‘friend’ because of his views, continued to follow me on there instead. Anyway, at some point yesterday morning, on a vintage movie group, someone asked if he was still posting, as they hadnt seen anything from him for a while. They must have been having sight issues, as he’d posted on said group about 10 hours earlier, but anyway… so I just pointed this out.
A matter of a few hours later (given he’s 5 time zones behind me), there is a post on there from him saying he doesnt need a black woman loving, communist posting information on Facebook about him. (It relates to the more left wing Democrat possible candidates for next US election) Given I’m asexual, and of moderate political views, he was quickly blocked, and reported to Facebook (hate posting). I dont know what they’ve done, if anything, because of the blocking, obviously, but at the same time, something like that is downright scary, if not more, and I’m only glad there is an Ocean between him, and me! Not that he knows exactly where I live, but anyway I’m glad I never ordered a vintage movie copy from his collection!
In truth, I’d love to be able to think that one day, all will be able to live together in a decent way, but I must say, sadly, I have no idea when, at present. Ah well…
So, video time. A new live version of a song I’ve used in the past, but not recently. Lets just say, that red dress that one of the backing singers is wearing, oh please…!
Something’s got a hold on me
Well I would guess its go surprise to people here if I do a Transgender posting here, even if strictly I’m intersex, but I will still always relate to mtf transgender issues, even when I do finally get the operation out of the way, and yes, I hope the brain issues wont stop that at least. But making a post where I disagree with the transgender crowd, well…
Its fair to say at my age, even ignoring the new health issues, that I’m never going to play sport again at my age. The only sport I really played at anything more than basic level more than a couple of years after leaving school was cricket, and though I was a decent player (I played both at school, and club levels), I was never going to be a world beater. I did play a little recreational golf after I left school, but that soon stopped after a couple of years, due to lack of time, and not being a Nick Faldo/Laura Davies at the game, it was never going to go further. I think at one point I was a 13 handicap, which isnt amazing, but not awful either. I did try again, about 25-30 years later, but lets say I was more like a 113 handicap by then.
But then, since I started to transition, apart from the issue of getting old, I decided it was the end of my sporting career anyway. I know, strictly, I could play as a woman, especially after transition was confirmed, but even if I’d been in a position to play sport as a woman, I dont think I would. I know, you look at me, and apart from perhaps the height issue (I’m 5ft 9 tall/ 1.74 m?) I’ve got the build of a woman, but anyway…
I know some have, and more will, but its just how I feel about things, OK?
But it seems that some are so determined to make it at sport, that they have less morals about matters than me. It seems one team in the Kent Women’s Cricket League are so determine to succeed that rules, well… Now let me say I’ve only read one article about this, and the club, and the player involved dont want to say anything on the subject, but… One ladies team seeming include a ‘woman’ who is strongly built, 6ft 1 in height in their team.
Fine, but this is seemingly a woman who hasnt declared to be transitioning, isnt taking female hormones, and according to reports only declares as a woman on cricket match days, which seems very convenient. Of course she’s scoring lots of runs, taking lots of wickets, and all that stuff. So suddenly a moderate team has become a league winning capable team, isnt that handy?
Now, I wouldnt want to say she isnt genuine in the transition, but if so, why isnt she living as a woman for 7 days of the week? Yes, I do cynically wonder if this will be a 1 year wonder, or not? Handily for them, in England, unless you get into National Squad contention, you dont get sex tests done!
In the sense of glory, I dont care how desperate this team are to win, by doing things like this, but my concern is the simple one, if as I suspect it will, this is proved to be a fraud, where does it leave genuine transgender people in the future, both in terms of general life, and things that are gender related, from public conveniences upward? But yes, life is hard enough for us, without people working the system for the sake of glory, because lets face it, as has happened with this, its eventually going to get out, and probably in a negative way.
OK, rant over. Mind, I’ve acted as a woman, even before I started transitioning (long before in fact), but that was just a part I was needed to play, that I didnt cheat anyone out of, so… The fun is, if it wasnt for the health issues, I might have been acting this autumn as a woman again, ah well…
Right, video time. One of my favourites of all time, in truth. Yes, I’d love to be the lady in grey, with the helmet in this, seriously
Lets stick together?
Given it was Leeds Pride today, I guess its an apt moment for a LGBT related blog. No, at my age, even without all my recent more major health issues I probably wouldnt have been there, and lets face it currently, I’d need someone to push me in a wheelchair through the parade, but anyway…
It was actually the start of the pre season play in the NFL this week, with the presentation of the new members of the Hall Of Fame yesterday. One of said new members is Champ Bailey, and the end of his speech contained many comments about race issues and how players like himself are treated in the game. You can see it here,
The irony for me was seeing it posted by the NFL people on Twitter, when lets face it, most of his race issues are made more serious by the owners of the NFL teams in the first place. Thing is, if you listened to his words only, you would think there were no other equality issues in the NFL, oh I wish! So, the reason only one played has ever came out as Gay in the NFL is because he’s the only one ever, right? And guess what, once he announced it, he was snubbed by the whole league. Now its possibly he didnt lived up to his college career, but he went from being an early draft player, to being picked in the last round, then dropped altogether quickly, yes, right…
Fine, its a bit of a macho sport, so unlike to be hundreds, but just one, who didnt live up to expectations, seriously? I suspect its more a case that most just keep quite about the matter, in truth. So anyway, being the quiet, shy (not) intersex woman that I am, I’ve sent him a message asking whether he’d be prepared to support GB (not going to be any LT, I’m sure) players who want to come out. Given it was a few hours ago, I’m not surprised to have no reply yet, but not really expecting to hear from him, all the same, but maybe…?
And yes, lets face it, its not just for the players that we need someone involved in NFL to take a stand, its for the fans visiting the games too, to make them feel welcome too. To be fair, all the big male sports in the US dont have a great record on all equality matters in a G sense, but this got the response as the current one.
I could say I’ve had no issues at MLB games in the crowd, but not sure most have realised that there was a Trans/Intersex woman in the crowd (and toilets) with them, anyway. Oh, and fine, LA is LA, but…
Yes, wouldnt it be nice if a Baseball player was comfortably enough to come out as Gay (there has to be some, somewhere in the systems, surely?) without fear of reprisal?
Oh yes, if I do ever hear from Champ Bailey, I will let you know, but dont hold your breath!
Right, video time. What we all need to do, white/black, straight/gay, or whatever, I only wish
Make me a natural woman?
Seeing I promised to throw this piece of hypothesis up to (hopefully) a bigger audience, I’d better be a good girl and do so. Let me add that regardless, its not going to change my view on my status, and also, at this point at least, I must point out that beyond knowing that I have a womb, I have no idea whatsoever as to what the rest of my internal genitalia is, as no one has ever checked beyond that point. So if its discovered I have other boy bits internally, the whole question counts for nothing, but…
Given the whole ‘feminist lesbian’ group, who believe you cant be a woman unless you ‘in every way’ present as a woman, stance (no!), against the whole young Trans Activist thing, who believe that someone who hasnt even reached puberty, let alone the age of consent just be allowed to change gender (equally no!) battle that is going on, I’ve decided to take the ‘easy’ route out, and declare myself Intersex, which strictly I am, but it takes a whole lot more explaining, but anyway…
(For those not up on the matter, it means, in my case at least, that I have the most obvious boy bit at present, but equally I have a womb, which most would say is one of the more obvious women bits, but anyway. As to what else I have in there, probably best I dont know! But the thought that struck me is this, if I only have one boy bit, and I get rid of that, does that actually make me a natural woman?
Given that nowadays they dont actually remove it, just using the flesh to create the vagina, I guess that strictly I wont get rid of it anyway, but equally, if it was meant to be a vagina in the first place…?
Strictly, as I say, it really doesnt matter, all my paperwork says I’m female, even without the bits being bobs, and besides, assuming medical permission for the surgery given things, I plan to get it done, so… But yes, just an interesting thought, if all my bits are then female, does that mean I’ve transitioned, or do I become a natural woman?
So yes, as my dear friend Kiefer suggested, this has to be the obvious song. Just that most people would assume Aretha, so coming out of left field, its Carole King, who actually happened to help write the song, as well as, in this case, sing it.
Foxy lady on the run?
I know, two in a row, but lets get them out of the way when I can remember what the blog subject is, OK? Probably nothing tomorrow mind, just saying.
A couple of days ago I saw an article which saddened me, but didnt surprise me, in truth. I dont expect every in my life for there ever to come a time when the LGBT hate percentage reaches single figures, let alone zero. But over the last decade or so, the reported homophobia/LGBTphobia percentage had been going down. The last survey a couple of years ago showing 25% of people being anti LGBT people, from dislike, to downright hate. Too high I grant you, but better than the 34% it was a decade ago. This year, for the first time since 2007, the figure went up, back up to 28%.
Of course the increase may not be a genuine increase, its just that now, with seemingly the whole world swinging further to the right, it might just be that people are more emboldened to say what they really think. It certainly seems the case in the US, and has been so for a while, but now it seems to be growing in the UK too. I suspect, as I say, that some of this is people who never liked LGBT people, but didnt say anything are now opening coming out and showing their hate, though I suspect others are being influenced by social media and friends too.
Especially when you see pieces that show LGBT people infecting others by spraying them with ‘gay water’ and the like, which is comical, but frighteningly, some believe it. There is also the fact that so many LGBT people (notably a group of Lesbians, and young Trans Activists) nowadays believe they literally have to get in the face of straight people to get their message over, rather than polite education.
I dont see what straight people have to worry about in truth. We dont secretly slip potions, or inject people with anything that instantly turns them gay. I hate to break it to the cranks, but it cant be done. Though mind, its believed all people are born bisexual, its just that tradition, and peer pressure means that most believe that boys will date girls, and anything else will destroy the world. Sorry, it wont! But equality, when there is a group of lesbians who wont date bisexual women because they might taint themselves with a date (or more) with a man, what hope is there of putting on a united front?
I know, I’m preaching to the converted, the LGBT haters arent going to read a blog by me, lets face it. But if any read this, just ask yourself why you’re afraid of LGBT people, realise how daft you are, and accept us. No, feel free to be an ally, and no more, thats all we ask.
Of course, if it makes someone feel better about coming out, by thinking I’m twisting your arm, or your mind, with this blog, why not? But I’m not, OK?
Right, the video. most women of my age nowadays, chasing younger men, or women, are known as cougars. But guess what, we used to be called wily old foxes. And yes, who knows, very soon, I might be out there, on the run for a young partner to care for me? Tenuous, but its the excuse for tonights glam rock video, just saying…
Marketing crash
The funny thing with some TV commercials is when they get the accompanying music really wrong. Generally its because they see the song title, and dont look into the actual lyrics, or meaning of the song, and see that it causes the whole thing to backfire on them.
There is a car company over here, called Seat trying to sell one of their cars at the moment. Please, I’m a non driver, I have no idea which brand it is, I dont care. Even if I was a driver, I’d be barred now for at least a year because of the seizures, anyway. As it is, I dont drive regardless, but…
They are clearly trying to make their car seem cool, and exciting, so some marketing whizz kid looked at a list of suitable song title, and lo and behold, someone thought Lou Reed’s song, ‘Walk On The Wild Side’ to be right. After all, their car is clearly meant to have a wild side, so perfect.
Of course, as anyone cool enough to know the song, or old enough to remember it coming out, its all about a different kind of wild side. Transgender/Crossdressing, lots of drugs, lots of prostituting style selling of bodies for sex, all of which are perfectly suitable for the selling of cars to families, well…maybe not?
Of course, the sad fact is, that most of their prospective market just think of it being a cool tune to try and sell a car, given the song is now nearly 50 years old! But yes, this ‘Holly/Candy/Carla?’ just finds it rather ironic, and amusing when they are trying to sell a family car.
Yes, I know, almost as ironic as all these American politicians using ‘Born in the USA’ as a patriotic song, I guess?
I wonder when someone is going to start using ‘The Final Countdown’ for an event due in October over here, lol.
Right, the video. Yes, the very obvious song, could I do anything else? Of course, being that old, a true live performance, no go. But at least this version has Holly, Candy, Joe, and a few others included in it, as a touch of history
A tainted love?
One thing that seems to have crept in with the commercialism of social media, is far too many companies trying to tweak their adverts to appeal to whichever group are in fashion at the time. So obviously in June, attention turns to Pride Month, and some firms try to make it look like they care about LGBT people, when all they are really doing is that by mentioning the subject, or maybe putting something rainbow on their banner that we will all conveniently forget how little they care for us during the other 11 months of the year.
Some fall for this, and said companies are duly grateful for said bonus business. Others just go on as before, completely ignore them, much as these companies will do with us, on July 1st! Then there are those of us who point out that the platitudes are little more than that, and suggest they do something to actually support LGBT people, and not just their profits. Today was one of the latter.
There was a group called EY asking on Twitter about who it was best for them to engage with to discuss LGBT inclusive policies. There were 3 options on the poll, none of which was the obvious answer, LGBT+ discussion groups, but all of which were groups that they would hope to grow their ‘advisory’ business through, at said profit to themselves, obviously. Their lack of response to numerous people, and groups pointing out their obvious omission to them, not a word! In other words, they wish to appear to be LGBT friendly, but its easy to see that their only interest in doing so is if it brings in business for them, presumably from people regarding them as LGBT friendly!
Mind, this isnt the worst case this month, would you believe. At the start of the month, some company duly posted on Twitter, with a Rainbow flag under their business logo, and trying to show their love. The trouble was, someone bought up their posting from earlier this year, which showing them to be just the opposite at that point, pretty homophobic, to say the least. They hastily removed the tweet, but of course it had been reposted numerous times by then, so hopefully their so called stance was thoroughly shot down.
Oh, and they arent the only ones, thousands of companies do what I would term ‘rainbow’ postings in June, only to gain business they might not otherwise get, and nothing more. And yes, this is just the one that concerns me, they do this for all campaigns, so think carefully before you support some firms that seem surprisingly over supportive, just saying.
OK, video time. Yes, its the obvious one. Live version, very well done, long after the song was a massive hit. And yes, the opposite to the ‘Hard Sell’ some companies seem to make. It is 10 minutes plus in all, just warning you.
People are strange?
One of the things I find odd about social media comes back to people watching, and who shows an interest in you. On Facebook recently (last month or so), I’ve got dozens of friend requests, that to put it mildly, are out of the ordinary. They’ve been people I havent known before, had no previous contact with, and the only thing I could even see in common with them would be the Transgender thing.
But even then… I quickly put together that the vast majority of these weren’t the sort of Transgender women that actually had anything in common with me. Admittedly it took a few that I acted as a nominal mother hen to, before I got the connection, but then it started to get regular. Many only with few pictures, so actual comments, and indeed some that seems to do nothing but put up adverts for things they seemingly wanted me to buy. The other thing that crept in after the first few (have no idea if this was deliberate or not?) was profiles that made it very clear they were anti men, in all ways. So anyway, after the first dozen or so got friends acceptance, I started getting very careful, and have since rejected far more than I’ve accepted. Given I’ve not bothered to follow the postings of these people, I havent actually got round to unfriending any yet, but maybe…? Hey, I’m bisexual, have nothing against men at all.
But actually, the one who inspired this blog, isnt from Facebook, but Twitter. People follow you there, and short of blocking them, its hard to stop them doing so. Generally if people follow me, I take a look at their recent posts, and make a call on whether to follow back, or not.
A few weeks back, someone started following me, and her profile had enough to tempt me to follow back, even though I didnt know her at all. It would have been an LGBT issue, but now, a few weeks later, I’m not even sure she’s LGBT! In fact, may well be phobic towards us!
A week or so ago, she went into what, shall I call weird mode. Firstly it was rants against a man that was supposedly making contact with her, after they’d broken up, and that she was threatening to report him to the police. His responses to her postings seemed to suggest he was doing nothing of the kind. She then started to attack the police for not acting on her claims any more. I assume (but cant be sure) that even if they did investigate, they came to the conclusion he’d done nothing wrong, but she doesnt want to accept that fact.
Then this morning, among my notifications to deal with, was what I can only described as a typical TERF, anti trans question about my right to a female passport. Not that its any of her business, but I politely explained that I qualified on grounds of length of time living as a woman, hoping that would satisfy her. Nope! Came back saying it shouldnt be allowed pre op, so just as I was about to just give up following her, I read the last line, in which she claimed she wasnt transphobic! When I stopped laughing at that last comment I checked, and yes, she’d already stopped following me, but of course I have no idea when she did so! So yes, I’ve blocked her, just to be safe.
I know, maybe I should feel sorry for her, it might all be a mental health issue, for all I know? But its no one I know, she lives nowhere near me, so what can I do?
I know, the whole world is full of strange people, just wish a few less were attracted to me, but anyway…?
OK, video time. Back to the old system, blog title is same as song title, what can I say?
And who would you like to date today?
(Disclaimer for those who need it: There is zero evidence that Gertrude Olmstead was bisexual, lesbian, or any other sexual preference except straight, so despite comments here, her honour should be treated accordingly. Indeed she was married happily for 42 years, until her husband passed away. However, she seems to have had more than a few shots taken, gender cross style, so who knows?)
As someone who (all too often) went out on dates as a man, for obvious reasons at the time, I do think its a bit of a shame that I’ve never got to do a proper date as a woman. Clearly I’ve done group meals as a woman, and indeed had a few dinners alone with Eric, but nothing in a romantic sense, though some of the restaurants might have thought otherwise. No, I’ve never done an actual date with a woman, as a woman, now that might be fun too!
But how about the ultimate in amusement, a date, me dressed utterly feminine, and a woman, dressed in a more male style? Therefore, when I saw these two pictures of said lady, Gertrude Olmstead, on one of the vintage Facebook groups recently, it did amuse me that I fancied her in both styles
Twist my arm, an all girl date would be heaven. But seriously, her dressed like that, as a man, oh goodness, I could easily swoon in his arms, and let ‘him’ have ‘his’ wicked way with me! As I say, checking her out on Google images, this is far from her only ‘boyish’ image, but its wrong for me to suggest anything more than for film roles, or promotion shots?
But fine (she died in 1975, aged 77), post my SRS surgery, her with a strap on, I could just be in heaven! Is it silly to want to have sex with a woman dressed as a man that way? Oh, and I’ve found an earlier shot of Gertrude, where I could very happily swap places with her!
I know, you could soon get your arms out of there, but I doubt I’d want to, given its Lon Chaney threatening to do something evil to her, back in 1925!
So yes, RIP Gertrude Olmstead (1897-1975), and please forgive me this little piece of wishful thinking. But yes, take it from me, you have the style to look gorgeous as both a woman, and a man!
The video, another woman that seemingly I could fancy as a woman, and with the right, minimal makeover, as a man, Laura Branigan. Apt title, lol!
stevielounicks 
Recent Comments