Its funny how things change, isnt it? If you think it through, as I did today, when I did the whole name, and gender change thing at work (well in the sense of becoming a Ms at least, if not the physical change), everyone in my department, and to a lesser degree, at work, had known me as a man. Well, maybe thats pushing it, I’d certainly gone with an androgyne look from day 1 at this place, but that was making it official, that I was now a woman.
But of course, since then, people have come, people have gone, and I suspect there is now a decent percentage in our office department at least, who have never known me as anything but a woman. Indeed, there is now an ever growing percentage of those who have never known me without cleavage! I suspect it will never reach a point where no one knew the old me, but I guess as time moves on, that percentage will drop ever more.
Occasionally I will still hear Steve, or he, but its pretty rare nowadays, and is generally followed by an embarrassed look from whoever said it. I’m not the militant type about it (unlike so many), so unless its someone I can tease, a glare, and a smile will usually suffice. But agreed, its those who’ve known me all the time, so…and they’re learning lol!
Mind, I have to get used to things as well. Yes, I was using ladies public toilets in Seattle just fine, but the Americans seem more open minded on such matters, well in most of the country at least, I’m not sure about the ‘Deep South’ all the same. Though to be honest, the matter has simply arisen less over here, I have less need to use public toilets, as most of my needs outside the home, are met at work, where I use the unisex ones anyway.
But last week, I went to the cricket at Headingley, and needed a ‘break’ while there. Yes, used the ladies, twice in fact, no problem at all. But yes, there is still this weird moment as I enter the ladies, and I think what I’m doing, after all these years, but I’m getting used to it. Of course, it might be easier done with a full cleavage, but dont quote me on that.
But no, I’m sticking to trousers, for now at least when out, though maybe one day it will be a skirt or a dress, who knows? But I’ll forego the high heels a lot longer than that lol!
The music, well the title seems sort of apt somehow
But no, you arent getting the Bob Dylan video, hopefully that might fool one or two peoples expectations lol!
Its funny, I was reading a piece somewhere this morning in a Trans Related Group, comparing life for us now, even as opposed to 5 years ago, and the general impression I got is how much things have improved since then. Dont get me wrong, its not yet perfect, but a big improvement on how it used to be at least.
Mind, given how I seem to fall under the radar anyway, maybe I’m not the best person to comment on this. Again, yesterday, I was sat next to a woman on a train who clearly thought I was, and always had been female. Well, unless men are now able to bear children, and no one told me lol! Alright, I still get the very odd ‘Sir’, but they are pretty rare nowadays, and it shows how things have changed for me, it annoys me more nowadays than it ever used to!
However, long before all this enlightenment and the like, things did used to be different, and indeed many Trans people have been badly beaten, or indeed killed by idiots, just because of who they are. I suspect there might still be instances of this, but seem far fewer now, to me at least.
But it does seem, that going back long before recent times, there was one place that was so trans person friendly, that it stood out like a sore thumb for us, Brighton.
Brighton is still the only place I know where I’ve seen toilets marked ‘Ladies and T-Girls’ on the same door! There may be others in clubs (especially fetish ones I suspect?) but in Brighton this was widely prevalent nearly 10 years ago, let alone now. If only everywhere was so enlightened, as I’ve commented on in an earlier blog. I dont even remember seeing that in San Francisco, but maybe I just missed them?
I know, personally I think we should be able to use the Ladies regardless, but anyway…
Maybe one day we can even have true equality with correctly gendered people in all issues, but suspect that might take a little longer yet. Equally someday, the wonderful NHS might make the whole transgendering, and surgery issue so much easier, but again, I wont hold my breath.
Oh alright, the part I suspect only come here for, the music video. This has a tenuous link to Brighton, as Den Hegarty (bass vocalist) on this has lived most of his life in Brighton, and even more, was actually born in Ireland! I loved the doo-wop stuff of this era, and this might not be the last Darts song you ever see here!
I guess this is something most of you dont even think about, men go into the men’s toilets, and women’s go into the ladies. Simples, as Aleksandr Orlov would say (if you dont know, go to www.comparethemeerkat.com , and laugh.)
But then again, there are people like me! In the normal run of events I only tend to need to go, either at home (no labels), or at work, where the decision was made that I have to use the gents for now, presumably because I’m pre op, but…cant get convinced its right, but too easy going to argue. Do get some funny looks if there’s a visitor in there though lol! Would love to know some of the ladies opinions at work on this, but its hardly something you can just come out and ask!
Dont really need to use public toilets inbetween, so normally this situation doesnt arise. But when you’re away on holiday in Boston…even more so when the vast majority are calling you miss, madam, or lady…amazing just how well I seem to pass, considering that was with no use of make up! Hey, even security at Dublin Airport this morning thought I was a woman, and thats after a ‘red-eye’ flight overnight!
One piece of ‘entertainment’ was at MIT museum, restroom area seemed quiet, so I went for it, and maybe it was the work thing in my head, but I went in the mens. Fine, apart from the fact that several came in while I was in there. Got some very confused looks when I came out the cubicle. Even funnier was the airport last night, did the same thing, and again got funny looks while in there. Best moment though was the guy coming in as I was going out, he went back to check he was going in the right side!
So yes, alright, maybe I should starting using the ladies in public? But I dont want to cause trouble with the law or anything by doing so. But if I pass that well, and seemingly I do, do I need to worry about that happening? Mind, the irony of being asked why I’m going in the mens toilet does come to mind lol!
Probably be a couple of months or so before the situation arises again, I guess I just play it by ear, and then make a call on the matter, especially as it will probably be a shopping centre, with mothers there, and…
So the next time you go into a public (or even work) toilet, think how that choice might be easy for you, but for people like me…