Well, I guess it solves my brain issues?
Before anyone gets too concerned about this, check the publication date, just saying…
Saturday saw me get my letter from the local National Health Service, re my Neurology appointment date. Yes, June 18th. I know, British folk, about par for the ‘free’ National Health Service over here (strictly its paid out of our wage deductions over here). Some of my US friends would say “So long?” but fine, if I had £10K to spare (or Medical insurance cover for that), I could probably get seen to in next couple of weeks. but unless any generous ‘chaperone’ is offering me that sort of money, not going to happen. No, I havent got the looks of Marion Davies, and I dont know anyone with the wealth of William R Hearst! So…
Anyone, given that they know something is wrong with my brain, and someone (no, it wasnt me, honest) has told them about my brainwashing kinks, they’ve decided to take the logical outcome, wipe my organic brain clean, then replace it with a nice AI unit, that will ‘act’ like me, but will in truth be a robotic machine, within a human body (though they are considering the matching robot body, I’m told). In truth, my only disappointment, the fact I’ve got to wait until the middle of June for this to happen!
OK, yes, its April 1st, one of those paragraphs is the truth, the other is total fabrication. Yes, sadly, its the second paragraph that is the ‘April Fool’, unless you want to tell me, and arrange otherwise. Because if it could be, the only thing in the second paragraph that would then be true would be my disappointment at it taking so long to get it done! I must admit, I’m looking forward to have a brain MRI, and EEG done, for all the wrong reasons, or shall we just say my fantasies will be running wild while its all being done.
I’ll be honest, I discovered today just how weak its all left me. I had to go into Huddersfield today to provide the certificate showing that I’m unfit to work at present. That’s dated until 30th April, but as the Doctors all said, I’m not going anywhere near any work until after my brain has been upgraded. Sorry, medically checked out, yes, I wish! So now we know that’s not before 18th June, and then will need the results after that, its going to be the end of June, at best. All medical advice recently, suggests I’m not going back. Having walked a few hundred yards between where I was dropped off this morning (Thanks, Ella) to deliver said certificate, and back, and how exhausted I’ve been afterwards, they’re right, I’m sure. Well, unless my brain/body, does get the robot makeover (oh, please…) at least.
So as I say, partly fact, partly fool. If someone does want to make the fool part fact, I couldnt be happier, but seriously… I know, a year ago, I could walk miles in Seattle, even with my back issues, now 200 yards is a challenge! So that automated, cybernetic robot body, oh yes please! Yes, brainwashed, and totally mindlessly obedient would be seen as a bonus, and thats no fool!
Right, video time. Yes, I would love this done to me, seriously, and as my brainwashing fantasies go, this pretty much fits the bill. It is Batman, but this is the 1940’s version, not the better known 1960’s version. But the brainwashing helmet over your head, the control unit literally on your head, well… Where’s this kind of man when you need one, when your brain is malfunctioning, lol?
Happy April Fools Day, unless you want to show me otherwise? 😉
Your name is Master (or Mistress?)
Firstly, I want to thank my dear friend, and fellow 30’s actress, Nancy Carroll, for reminding me about this date. No, seriously, she’s a wonderful lady, about my age, living in Australia, named Diane, but fine, its a long running joke between the 2 of us. But yes, she does look a lot like Nancy, even if she claims otherwise, lol…
Friday was World Hypnosis Day, seemingly. Yes, I think everything has a day nowadays, but anyway… What happened was that someone posted, on one of the old movie boards, a selection of vintage hypnosis posters, and adverts, and Diane commented that all the hypnotists were male, and all the ‘victims’ were female. But yes, back in the 1950’s, and beyond, men were in charge, ladies did as they were told, hypnotized or otherwise, and… Yes, things have changed a bit since then, though some of us might enjoy a nice powerful man controlling our mind, but anyway… 😉 Put it this way, feminists would have a hissy fit if these sort of events were suggested today!
Yes, I’ve been tranced a few times in my life, for therapy, for fun, and for regression purposes (Hi, Clara J), but never, as yet, to make me even more of a female submissive, lol. Not that I wouldnt mind it done (Hi, Legion), but fine, something a bit more technically ‘dramatic’ than hypnosis doing that to me, would appeal even more. Yeah, bring on the mind controlling spiral (which I suppose is a hypnosis thing?), or headband, or something nicely electrical, lol!
Strictly, no, you cant be made to do anything you wouldnt willingly do under hypnosis. Something too much against your wishes, and you just snap out of trance. But lets face it, in the good old movies, and when appealing to the male ego of the 50’s, well that wouldnt sell hypnosis to men, would it?
Yes, its been a while since I’ve been in trance, which is a bit of a shame, but such is life. But if offered the chance again, why, of course I would submit to the control of a man, or a woman, and… go into mindless, obedient trance? Well, maybe…?
OK, another 60’s video song, this one most definitely mimed. I did find a film from 2012 of this song being performed by the group, but the camera is so far from the stage, not worth showing! So…Maybe my Master’s name would be Jack?
I will have to do without you?
OK, amusing story time.
When I got back to work last week, as well as being told of the forthcoming change of team at work, which though I dont mind it in the slightest, I’d still quite enjoy it if someone convinced me about it, using this machine…
Yes, I know, I wish!
The second thing that was waiting for me, in the form of a piece of paper on my desk, is something from the daily free newspaper over here, known as the Metro, an article called Rush Hour Crush. Yes, it is as awful as it sounds, judging by the posts in the one left on my desk, but anyway…A couple of people especially, know of a certain bus journey crush I have, and it was placed there because of her, and me. In truth, I have no idea why I crush on her, because strictly, she isnt my type. She’s very slim, pretty much flat chested, and non exceptional looks. But, but, she just has something I adore, though thats a mystery ingredient, for sure. But anyway…
Last night, for the first time in weeks, I saw her. Mainly because I didnt see her just before I went on holiday, or the first week I was back, plus that 2 week gap, so…it was a treat when I saw her at the bus stop, and then realized there were no double seats left downstairs, so yes, she went upstairs, I was downstairs, and I’m not that predatory! Fine, I’m not in the slightest predatory, so I had to settle for 2 brief sightings.
Anyway, in line with those Crush postings, I jokingly posted this on my Facebook page, as they always love to know when I see her
Cute, slim blonde on 7.20 363 to Bailiff Bridge tonight. Coffee, or more?
Tall, butch looking blonde
I know, silly stuff, but anyway…Yes, I’m crazy, someone said they would text it in (cant do it myself, no mobile phone), if I wanted them to, and I said yes. Fine, it helps that I know she never reads anything but her kindle on the bus, so I think I’m safe from her reading it. I suppose someone at her work place might, and work out who its aimed at, but I’m sure the chances of that are equally slim.
On top of all that, I know she has a ring, but I have no idea if its a wedding ring. Probably is, but…? Oh, and secondly, I’m sure the only way someone like her would consider a sapphic relationship would be by influencing her mind, something like this!
But yes, fine, if it appears in the Metro (tomorrow would be the earliest possibility for that), and she looks at me, in a certain way, the next time I see her, well…I’ll probably still have to do without even a friend for coffee! But, just maybe…?
The video, some old Doris Day, from Calamity Jane, what I will probably have to do, concerning my certain cute lady…
Time to transfer affection
One thing about working in an office, where there are 5 teams in a department, is the knowledge that you might not always be in the same team, forever. its certainly happened in both my previous jobs up here, and now, seemingly its going to happen again. Same role, same hours, just a different team leader.
In a way, it makes perfect sense, I’m now going to be in the team of the team leader who works every Saturday, like me, so there wont be weeks when I’m sat all on my own any more, though to be fair, said team leader was sat right behind me, and besides, it never really bothered me anyway. I know, I dont let much bother me, but anyway…Its equally fair to say that my current team leader is sorry to lose me, though I suspect thats as much down to my ‘entertaining’ calls, as anything else. Who, me? Flirt with customers? No, not really, though fine, I do maybe use my feminine wiles to get round them at times lol!
As to the swap, no, I get on fine with both of them, so no issue to me, either way. But fine, I could live without all the fuss of changing desks, and everything, as you then have to do all the ‘health and safety’ stuff again when you change desks, but never mind… Other than that, I’ll just carry on, as before, and…
Oh fine, I might enjoy it more if it was a literal transfer of affection, but more of that when I get to the video, but fine, I’m probably the only one changing teams that would enjoy that sort of thing. Still, if they want to arrange for it to be done like that, just for me… 😉 In fact, in some ways, the video is a little tame for what I’d fancy, but besides all that…
I just wonder how many more transfers of affection I might have before probable retirement, in just about 7 years time, lol? Who knows, I might even be one of the team leaders by then? Not that I’m very ambitious, but all the same…? Still, if someone wants to ‘make me’ more ambitious, I might not say no!
Right, video time. Oh fine, you can tell this is from the 80’s, from the outfits the group are wearing, not even allowing for those rather cute space suits! Who, me, fancy wearing any of those, you bet! I have no idea why this wasnt a bigger hit over here in the UK, but besides all that…Yes, I’d love to know what was actually being done to her mind! 😀
Can I drive, and have I been made to forget?
Silly title, but events today have driven me to the point of stupidity, or is it concern? Yes, more less than memorable moments in the battle to get this passport in my new name!
As you may remember from Wednesday’s blog, I had a letter from the passport office, requesting details that I’d registered my name change with the driving licence people, and I told them that I didnt have a driving licence, issued solved, I hoped? Wrong!
Today, I got another letter from the passport office, telling me that I was actually issued with a driving licence in 1983. Well, I know I certainly didnt do that, as that was the year I moved to Somerset, and I certainly didnt apply for one then! And no, I certainly didnt order one either in the 2 and a half months I lived in Kent, before moving down there. I did in fact hold a provisional licence, somewhere in the late 1970’s, but that was it. Mainly because my driving talents matched those of Frank Spencer (of Some Mothers Do Have Them fame), so I quickly gave up on the idea.
As far as I remember, since then, I have never held a driving licence, nor have I ever driven a road vehicle at any time. So yes, this news concerned me, a lot, even if its long before identity stealing became popular! So I rang the passport office up, informed them of this, and they told me an examiner would be requested to get back to me quickly. That was 11.00 this morning, still no call. I’ll leave it until Monday afternoon before I chase them, but anyway… The thing is, why didnt all this come up when I changed my name in 2010? Thats right, I heard nothing then, when only changing name, but not gender. Suspicious, maybe? Hopefully not?
Or did I really learn to drive, pass my test, apply for a licence, and was then brainwashed to forget it ever happened? Much though I’d love that to be discovered to be the truth, its not going to be the case, is it? And lets face it, if I was brainwashed by a sinister government department, surely another government department wouldnt now be telling me about it?
I suspect the more likely story is far more dull. When I applied for a joint mortgage in 1987, we had an issue, because of a man with the same name as me. He lived in Derbyshire, I had to prove I’d never lived there, and all was solved. And yes, my intuition is that this driving licence was issued to him, not me.
But its all dragging out this event (its now 5 weeks, instead of the standard 4, and I still havent got it) that is causing me problems with job hunting, at a time I really dont need it! And of course, its Catch 22, to get identity papers anywhere, you need a passport. And they are doing their best to slow down this process, and I really dont need this! This will lead again to stress issues, which makes getting through interviews, getting a job, and some much needed money, even harder! And people wonder why I dont feel like going on with life, seriously! Yes, its getting that bad, about 6 weeks before I have major problems, and thats far too soon for my liking.
Right, rant over, though if anyone wants to issue me a passport (USA would be heaven), so I can travel, and job hunt legally, I’d love it. Before I decide to do something silly, anyway!
Right, video. Alright, the licence issue is going to be related to a guy, but I’m now a girl, so this great track will do nicely.
Finally, I know who I am
Yes, they think its all over, for Ms Nicholls at least, it is now!
This morning marked the last appearance of said, Ms Nicholls, at my final job interview, using that name. Hey, I’ve already altered my CV, the sites that I get job vacancy emails from, and my NI details. The passport, the last document showing that old name, will be sent off tomorrow, as I will go into a Post Office, and send it off on the way into town, to get the last couple of small Christmas gifts I have to get.
But on that bus into town (even if my Metro pass will say otherwise, for the next 14 days), it will be Miss Carpenter going into town. Oh fine, strictly, she has for over a month now, but due to ID issues, and a good number of those trips relating to job applications, its a debatable issue, but no more!
To be honest, I’m glad its done. It will be so much easier to only have to focus on one name, and fine, this may also be the point where I switch from using Stephanie, to actually using Harlean, as I’m no longer worried about keeping the names similar. Yes, I expect to hear “That’s an unusual name.” a few times, but I really don’t care. I know one thing, I wont have to worry about having the same first name as anyone else in an office, or anywhere lol!
Oh, and should anyone be daft enough to want to buy me a present to celebrate the fact, or for Christmas, I’d love this
http://www.theburgandyboudoir.com/Purple-Gothic-Corset_p_816.html
I know, thoroughly submissive look, so I shouldnt love it, but I do! No, I dont seriously expect anyone to get it for me, but I can dream.
Right, the video, possibly apt on a day when I finally only have one name again. It features a lot of old movie stars among the images, though sadly not the star formerly known as Harlean Carpenter. Now where have I heard that name? 😉
Oh, and finally, if anyone wants to use this method to erase all my memories of my former name/self, please do so!
Being wired up, and assessed would have been easier!
Yes, seriously, integrating me into the computer system, and assessing me that way would have been more relaxing, and probably more effective in finding out stuff about me, than the assessment centre I underwent on Tuesday. And yes, I can comment accordingly, as I’ve already heard I havent passed the tests, I’m only amazed anyone does! Even invasive surgery, to tap my brain with electricity could well have been more pleasant, and I’d have enjoyed it far more!
Up to now, the longest ‘test’ I’d done, had came in at just under 2.5 hours, and at least there, you thought the people holding it were on your side. They were as friendly as is possible, under the circumstances, and to be honest, I only realised how long it had lasted when it was over, and I looked at my watch, as I was getting out. This one was a whole different atmosphere, from start to finish, and that period was 3.5 hours, and then only that short, as I was one of the first 3 to do the final interview session, it would have been 4, or more for the other trio.
First of all was a group test, but rather than a straightforward exercise, they had each us (7 at the time) given a detail that would put us in direct confrontation with at least a couple of others. It wasnt fun, but I battled through, so on to the next point, the role play. By comparison, this was easy. It wasnt, as they wanted us to rearrange something, while giving us minimal ideas on what we were changing it with. I got through it, but 1 person walked out in the middle of hers, she’d had enough, and I couldnt blame her! From comments, several others felt the same way about the whole scene.
Oh, the final interview. Normally with the interviewer, you get the feeling they’re on your side, trying to help you through, but not this time, it felt more like a psychological battle! And to be honest, I was so worn down by the length of things, and the nature of it, that I didnt perform at my best, or close to it. So no, I wasnt shocked when I got the email this morning telling me I hadnt passed in the slightest! I was offered the chance to apply again in the future, but I dont think I’d want to go through that again!
So as I say, being integrated into the computer system, non-invasively, or even invasively would have been a positive delight compared to that! And yes, regardless of what kind of answers my mind might have given, with my free will taken out of the equation by the machine, I would have enjoyed that far more!
Ah well, the search goes on…again…
The video, well this would be my preference to being grilled by them again!
Part of the system?
Normally, when you get invited to an assessment centre for a job, you would expect to get the email from a person, right? So fine, for tomorrow, I get the invite from something called ‘system integration’! Yes, I know, I should be so lucky! And even more when the instructions say that you are to report to them on arrival. How is this assessment going to be handled lol? I know, I know, I’d love to be connected up to the system, integrated into it, and assessed by a machine controlling my mind, but generally, most people… Oh fine, a short while after, I got an email telling me to report to reception instead, far less exciting! Would bring a whole new meaning to the group exercise, Borg like assimilation, I guess? At least I wouldnt need to think of any answers to those competency based questions, the machine would probably discover the answer to those for itself!
Mind, I joke/dream about this for now, but I guess at some point in the future, the human element of interviews may be reduced, or even totally taken out of the equation, but not in the near future I suspect…shame! Just imagine, the inability to ‘improve yourself’ taken out of the situation, as a machine probes your mind for the correct answers.
Yes, I know, if that happened tomorrow, I’d love every moment of it, regardless of getting the job, or not. Mind, if you’re integrated into the system, surely they could ensure you were the perfect candidate for the job anyway, and have no desire to leave the company at any point? 😉 Shame I know its not really going to happen, but a girl can dream!
OK, the video. What hopefully I wouldnt be able to do for myself once integrated into the system
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