Oh fine, I lied when I said that the 2 blogs would be the same all week, because they wont be. Mainly because some people reading on the other blog think I’m a natural woman, and for some, after about 18 years, I’d hate to break the news, lol. So we’ll keep this here, and I have an idea for the other place, which I’m sure you wont mind missing. Mind, a lot will know where to find it, anyway!
This week, for those who didnt already know, and I hope most in the LGBT community at least do, is Transgender Awareness Week. I know, preaching to the converted, as lets face it, if you dont like Trans folk, you’re not likely to be reading this!
Anyway, no, I’m not going to preach, so dont worry if you thought this was going to be just that. What I am going to tell you is the amusing story of how I ended up in Portugal during T.A.W (for short) in the first place. Earlier this year, I was talking to someone in the US (if I get too specific, some will know who I mean, so to protect the guilty…) and it was suggested (see, no personal pronoun) that maybe I could go out there, and speak to the Trans community in their state, and try and convince them that things arent as grim as they seem, even with that LGBT hating idiot they have in charge over there. See, not playing to someone’s ego, either, by mentioning his name! Not that I have for a while, but he’s orange, and wears a wig, so… 😉 So, I booked this week off at work a long while back, to cover for this eventuality. As you might have guessed, in the end, it came to nothing. What they have done to mess me around since then, absolutely no comment!
So I had 2 options, I could cancel the week of holiday at work, save it for another time, but then my back came up with this bright idea, how about a week somewhere warm, to ease both my pain, and my back pain. So, to cut a long story short, go on budget holiday website, find what seemed a nice option (and most definitely is), and take the week off, and go elsewhere, in this case, Portugal! All seems fine, right?
Well, the thing is, I did a piece for T.A.W for work, both for our group section, and ultimately, for the whole department as well! A lovely piece, a letter to my younger self, explaining to her whats going to happen in her future life, and all that. Of course, the snag is, normally the writer is around to respond to comments at work, and I’m in Portugal, and no access to our Department Intranet. I suspect from the ways its playing out, they’re probably planning to put it up on Friday, so people will barely realise that the ‘old lady’ isnt there until Monday to reply to comments, shrewd move.
Yes, I will let blog readers see it at some point, though as its currently only on my work computer, it wont be until after I get back, and can send the document home! If I dont, remind me, please! Well, assuming anyone wants to see it, of course?
Irony is, me personally, the last thing I want people to be aware of, is that I’m Trans. Me, I’m just another woman, OK? But yes, if you have any Trans friends in need of extra support, this is a great week to do it, just saying…
Right, this is almost the Beautiful South, doing a Housemartins song, which you might have guessed the title of already?
Its always handy when somebody gives me the chance to be a grumpy old lady, and for once its not that idiot across the pond, with the orange face. Though yes, I could say something extremely rude about him at present, and his latest imbecilic ideas about Trans people, but lets not give his ego a boost by mentioning him. Hopefully, 2 weeks today, he gets a nasty surprise, as long as Russia dont fix another election for him.
No, lets have a snipe at another thing that is the bane of my life, First Buses. Fine, yesterday they weren’t aided by my back being in a really bad way, because of the weather and stuff, but they proceeded to shoot themselves in the foot, so lets try and bury them too.
Yesterday, a far too regular event happened, they put their fares up. Fair enough, there are things called inflation, but currently thats a lot less than the 5% that fares went up yesterday. The thing is, I wouldnt object to them raising fares, if the quality of service got raised too, but as was shown yesterday, its a one sided deal.
As I say, yesterday wasnt a lovely day weather wise, it was pretty cold, and my already sore back reacted to the cold weather like bees having their hive smashed to pieces by a hungry bear. Yes, not good.
So finally, about 2.20, after a couple of ‘not great’ calls, due to the pain being too intense to focus on work, I gave up on a bad deal, and decided to call it a day, and head home to rest up. The journey would normally take about 75-90 minutes or so, which is long enough, but had to be done. In truth, I probably would have paid out, and got a train instead (far smoother ride), but there werent any, engineering works! So it was bus, or rail replacement bus, so…
I finally got to the bus station at 3.07, as I had to stop to get a drink, to take some painkillers, to try and ease the pain in my back a bit. There is meant to be a bus to Huddersfield every 10 minutes. There should have been one at 3.10, but I never saw it. There should have been another at 3.20, again it never showed! The 3.30 finally showed at 3.32, and by the time everyone was on board a now overcrowded bus, we left about 3.36.
That bus is due into Huddersfield at 4.08. Actual arrival time, 4.23. No, not because of traffic, simply because there were dozens of people en route wanting to get on, given the lack of 2 buses before it. As quickly as I could (limited), I walked down for the bus home, due to leave town at 4.25, which again, never showed. The 4.35 finally turned up about 4.40 and I got indoors just after 5.00!
By which time the pain in my back was considerably off the scale, lol! Even now, 26 hours, and numerous painkillers later (I’ve taken more than normal today for a non working day), I’m still pretty sore. Now I’m not going to blame First Buses entirely for that, there’s been a bitter wind blowing most of the day, which doesnt help, but even so, they are definitely the main culprit.
As I said, if they provided a service that justified a fare increase, then fine, but they dont. Seemingly like most nowadays, all they care about are extra profits, and no service to customers. Its not hard to see why everyone knows them as ‘Worst Buses’ lets face it.
Oh for a flying saucer, or even more aptly at this time of year, maybe, a flying broomstick! At least I’d have reliable transport, and wouldnt mind paying for it. Fine, rant over. Now all I need is a spell to turn a certain US/Russian(?) wigged man into a frog, or a newt, and…? 😉
Right, video time. I cant imagine too many of my readers will remember this TV series, as its one from my childhood. But some will hopefully, and its Al Yankovic, so its crazy, so…
Fine, I was going to do a lighthearted birthday celebration piece today (actually for yesterday), but then I realised what date it was, and fine, plans change! So sorry, Nancy Carroll, maybe some other time (or place, for those who know? 😉 )
Yes, this year, 20th November is the date I truly wish we didnt have to remember, transgender remembrance day. Sadly, far too many transgender people over the years have died, either at their own hands, because they couldnt face the struggles of life any more, or at the hands of others, in a more violent way.
In the latter sense, I’ve been lucky. Only once have I been assaulted, and that guy was so drunk, he could do little damage. Besides which, the bus driver soon sent him on his way anyway. I was stood at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to turn up one Sunday afternoon when this guy grabbed me, but I was easily able to fight him off. As I got on the bus, he knocked me over from behind, but thats as far as it went. I’ve been called a few names at other times, but thats pretty much it, and I can easily cope with that. After 20 years (in total) managing betting shops, thats nothing compared to what I was called then!
Sadly, others have had it far worse than me, either in terms of violence used on them, or as I say, killed! And yes, more than a few have taken their own lives, because believe me, living as a transgendered person is not easy! I’ve got through it, but fine, I’ve had my moments of depression about it, all the same.
Me, now. Yes, it makes a huge difference when all your paperwork, and ID says you’re female, I feel so much better for having got to that point. In fact, now, I’m working in my first job (at 58!) where I’ve only ever been known as a woman, and yes, loving it! But for others, its not so easy, and I guess for Americans, over the next 4 years, things will definitely be tough! But hopefully we can all get through, ideally safe, sound, and living in our desired gender.
Right, video. I’m not sure if this really works, or not, but I thought it suitable. Two versions, first, the original video
Secondly, a recent Maggie Reilly version where she is clearly singing live!
As they say, take your pick, or play both, your call. Just for one day though, remember all those transgendered folks in your thoughts too. No, I’m not expecting Mr Trump to do that lol!
Here in the UK, this seems to be Pride weekend, certainly is in Leeds, and from what I’ve seen advertised, it is in a few other cities too. Yes, I’m too old nowadays for these sort of things, and besides, this year at least, I havent really got the money to go this weekend anyway. But as I say, its for younger folk than me really, anyway. Doesnt mean I’m not supporting them in spirit, mind.
Its funny, I was born, and indeed lived life at a time when homosexuality was regarded as illegal. Thankfully, things have changed dramatically since then, and fine, even if a few religious cranks (mainly in the US) think its a ‘disease’ that can be cured, the vast majority of people at least accept it, to various degrees. Hopefully, in a few years time, transexuality will be treated in the same way. Its getting there, the latest generations seem to be finding it ever easier to accept who they are, and in time, older generations will generally get to acceptance of it, I’m sure.
So fine, you’re expecting me to say that I’m proud that the Pride festival takes place, and all that? Right? Wrong! Dont get me wrong, I’m glad that LGBT folk can go out on a weekend like this, and show their pride at being who they are, but I’m still sad it needs to happen. Why? Because for the same reason there isnt a Hetro Pride weekend, in an ideal world, it wouldnt need to happen! I know, maybe its like the football fans on a Saturday, they like to go out and celebrate, and if it was just that, then great, but in our hearts, we know it isnt. Oh, the amusing thing in my new job, when discussing this, I had to settle for the Bi option, lol!
Its like all the fuss the press make, when someone comes out as gay, or lesbian, one great day, it wont be news, and no one will really care! Probably not in my lifetime, but compared to how things were, 50 years ago, we’re getting there, and life’s a lot better for LGBT folk. But one small day, in the future, we wont need Pride parades to prove it, I hope!
The biggest irony, Leeds NHS have made great show about Pride weekend, and how their Trans related unit will be taking part in the parade. Irony, their waiting list is by far the worst in the whole of the UK, and their reputation is dreadful! Yes, another reason why I cant be bothered to get my bits ‘bobbed’ around here!
Just one closing thought, though I’m not entirely saying it was Trans related, but here’s something to think about. Job hunting, as a woman, with my old male passport, I went 0 offers, out of a lot. As a woman, with my new female passport, 2 offers out of 4. Hmm?
Video, a bit of live Ultravox. Fans might have worked out the song from the blog title, though as it was a minor hit, others might not have done?
Oh fine, I’d planned to focus on one transgender issue in this blog, that the UK government seemingly have been trying to cover up, but events of the weekend have sort of overwhelmed that. Still going to look at it, but maybe a bit less detail than if events in America hadnt happened.
So, lets start with the one I’m sure everybody has heard about, the awful massacre in Orlando. I’m going to do my best not to say too much about the gun laws in the US. But given the fact that someone on the FBI watch list, can get hold of a weapon like that, and nothing happens, just unbelievable! The blunt fact is, despite his last phone call, this was not an ISIS related terrorist activity. They clearly knew nothing about it in advance, from their postings on the matter (source, instead of their agency), whatever the more rabid people of the media might want to suggest. What is clear, is that he came from a homophobic background, and had a deep hatred for all gay people. As a sideline, he believed in beating his wife too! Yes, lovely guy, not.
Unbelievably, in these days of health and safety, fire standards, and the works, the club he went into in Orlando had only one entry/exit point. There seemed to be others, but they led to closets, or a small courtyard, not a proper route of escape. So, once in, hard to get out of, under the circumstances, without being shot! Given the enclosed space, and the weapon he had, its probably a blessing that as few as 50 died, though sadly, its possible that number may yet go up.
Oh, the beloved right wing media. Focusing on the fact that he was Muslim, and that phone call, and ignoring all the other facts! Yes, he was Muslim, but as the next section of this shows, that was just one issue, the main one was his awful homophobia. He carried out this massacre because he saw two men kiss in front of him, on the street. Yes, seriously, that was it!
Rest in peace, all those sadly dead from this atrocity.
The next piece, I suspect the amount you’ve heard about, depends on where you’re reading this. Yesterday, was L.A Pride day. So fine, I might not have known much about it, but for my friends in the area. What happened yesterday morning, was the arrest of a white man, in Santa Monica, because his car was full of enough artillery to cause an equal amount of death, and destruction. Funnily enough, he was a right wing extremist, who admitted he was heading to the Pride festival, and it didnt look, or sound like he was going there to join the parade. Thankfully, in this case, he was caught before he got there, and with additional security, all went off fine. But again, just about a year ago, he was arrested for, yes, you’ve guessed it, gun offences!
Please, USA, at least reconsider your gun laws. Oh, I forgot, the NRA (National Rifle Association) has so many congressmen in their pay, that…ah well! 😦
Lastly, and something that my ‘beloved’ UK government have sneaked through, is this
I’ve seen a meme a few times on Facebook, which shows a guy, and a girl in bed, post coital sex. To quote her, is something like “No, thats not my boyfriend, thats me before the operation.”, and a stunned look on his face. Alright, I found it amusing the first couple of times, but yes, it gets less funny as time goes on. Mind, given she clearly had all the right ‘bits’, why should it really bother him, unless…?
Me, I’m not planning on having sex anytime soon, in truth, and besides which, at the moment, if it got as far as sexual matters, I’ve clearly still got something a girl shouldnt have! But in truth, before anyone got that close to me, I’d make my limitations very well known, and let them act accordingly. In truth, I’m pretty certain that even if I was post op, I’d let someone know first, before we got up close, and physical! To be truthful, given I doubt I would consider the op, unless I needed it, for sex, someone is going to know anyway!
But yes, I guess, younger people, who have fully transitioned, and look just fine, do people really need to know? I’m sure that now, with younger, and younger people starting to transition, its going to come to a point where people really arent going to know, beyond the fact that their wife/partner will never get pregnant! Fine, maybe decades from now, Trans Girls will have babies, but for now…
So, I’m torn, in that someone of my generation probably would want to say something, so it shouldnt matter, but I can see youngsters feeling differently about it. But overall, no, I’m not a fan of this.
OK, video time. Maybe because of my age, maybe because of my attitude, or maybe because this body has so emotionally destroyed me over the years, this pretty much sums me up, concerning these homophobic haters out there
Before we get started tonight, I’ll issue a warning. If you are squeamish about people’s ‘bits’, then you may not want to watch the video in the link. It is only animated, not the real thing, but… Reading the article should be fine, but just in case, consider yourself warned.
Sadly, this might also be the closest I actually get to it happening to me, unless someone comes into my life, and wants me to go through with it, because I know just how painful it would be. And yes, fine, if I was 28, instead of 58, and feeling strong, I’d probably go ahead with it regardless. But now, just for me, I think I’ll pass!
Lets face it, nowadays all my paperwork says I’m female, though there are a few places in the US at present that would object to me using a ladies toilet, technically. Strictly, if they looked at my ID (Passport), it says I’m female! If they actually insist on looking at my bits, then fine, I fail their crazy tests, but anyway…
Mind, they wouldnt work in a sex sense anyway, as would be the case for most trans females, in all honesty. Mind, it seems its more the case that being in a public toilet with a GOP politician is far more dangerous than being with a Trans Woman! Maybe we should bar all of them from public toilets?
Yes, for those of you brave enough to look at the video, it is painful, and not quick surgery either. As I say, if the need arises, and I have my doubts it will, I’ll get it done, but until then, I’ll give it a pass. I know, that will make me even older when I get it done, should I have the need, but my call of preference! The funny thing is, when I was getting answers from men on the dating site, they seemed to want a girl with additional parts, not the anatomically correct ones! Yes, I know I’m going to hate dying, with the wrong parts, but what can I say, apart from the fact I’m getting on in years, and not that endeared of pain!
But yes, if someone wants to make it worth my while to get it done, or wants to get all dominant with me, and make me have it done, then fine, though in the case of the latter, you’re paying for it!
Right, video time. To be honest, all this time, I assumed this was a Rod Stewart song. Well, it was, but that was a cover! Yes, Cat Stevens wrote, and sung the song first! And I’ve found a very rare 1960’s live version of him singing it. Yes, its blurry, but its history! Fine, if you want to find Rod’s version, or even the Sheryl Crow one, then OK, but…
Yes, fine, it may not take the largest amount of lateral thinking to work out what tonight’s video might be, but its an absolute gem. Brilliant song, brilliant live version to top it!
So, OK, I hadnt planned on doing another Transgender rant so soon, but fate today has led me to writing one anyway. Its better than getting involved in the outcomes of a discussion about ‘Birth Of A Nation’ on the silent movies thread, anyway. No, believe me, I should know better than get into a discussion on that movie, but I slipped up today. For those who dont know, lets just say it looks horribly racist, and the like, to 2016 eyes, but attitudes were very different 100 years ago, when it was made, and leave it at that.
As I’ve said before, I dont fit in with the more militant transgender crowd, plenty of whom seem to like to take over threads on Facebook. And lets face it, at the moment, there’s plenty going on for them to get involved in. Some of it is justified, but a lot of it isnt.
The justified issue at the moment is the ghastly bathroom bills that are being thrown around like confetti in certain states. The remarkable thing being that in the case of North Carolina, Donald Trump has come out as a supporter. Unfortunately, the even more nutty Ted Cruz has come out with the most ridiculous rant, so swings and roundabouts! The ‘great sinners’ as far as the Christian right is concerned, are a company called Target, who made a very loud stand about people using the toilet relating to the gender they attribute as. Seemingly this has so upset the religious right, that they have told their supporters to sign up to something, and boycott Target. Anyway, it seems about 700,000 people have obeyed their commands, and done so. As many have said, it will probably only last until the next sale at Target, but anyway…Fine, they’re ignoring one store group for now, but then, as this article pointed out, all these people ought to be boycotting over 400 other companies who apply the same logic in LGBT matters as Target do.
As you can see, they might have to lead a very basic, internet free life if they do that. Of course, the difference between doing that, and briefly (as it probably will be) avoiding Target alone, might be a lot more complex! So what else can I say, any trans friendly folk reading this in the US, please support Target where possible!
Fine, the thing that annoyed me with the militant trans crowd today, a naming issue. I think it started because we all got called Trans Women, or men, that someone in their wisdom decided that the rest of humanity (incuding all the LGB folk we dont want to annoy), couldnt just be called men, or women. No, they have to be called cis men, or cis women instead. Yes, as you can gather, I think this is just ridiculous, and probably annoys a good number of our supporters, but anyway… Well, given its meant to be a democratic thread, I made my comments on the matter known. Unfortunately, they are as crazy as the religious right at times, and firstly accused me of actually being a cis woman, pretending to be trans! I was then told that I must be sad to be trans, if I dont want to call natural born people, as cis people!
In fact, as all know, I’m very proud to be trans, but besides that… Yes, its when I see so many like that, that I realise why I dont tend to get involved too much with other trans folk, because they just go crazy on things! I’d love us to be treated fairly everywhere, but I dont want, or expect special treatment, as these people seem to do. In a way, I’d love to help others, before the nutty ones get them, but its hard to do. But please, good, reasoned argument will change things far more than charging in, demanding things, like a bull in a china shop! Fine, arguing with religious extremists will get you nowhere anyway, but the more moderate people who are likely to support us, are more likely to listen to reason, than rant.
Fine, the video. Yes, the brilliant Meatloaf, live
Yes, I know, I go a while without any transgender blogs, and then they all come along at once, a bit like London buses, in the old joke! But hey, as this also gives me the chance to mention baseball, how could I resist? Besides which, its better than a blog whining about all these nice jobs that require you to be a driver!
We’ve all heard the stories about celebrities posting on social media in a way that they shouldnt? Yes, this is one of those. Curt Schilling used to be a great pitcher, before retirement, and he used to be a great baseball analyst on ESPN. The latter is the more significant ‘used to be’ in this case.
Fine, he’s a right wing conservative, so not my dream man politically. But as I’ve said before, I can survive peoples political views, if they’re trans friendly. Thing is, he isnt! And made it clear to the world, as this article proved
And given that his homophobic views had got him into trouble with his employers before, and then let loose with this, I guess the end result, his firing, became inevitable. OK, it amuses me that ESPN considers itself as an inclusive employer, as I thought the law (apart from a couple of rogue states) stated that all LGBT folk should be safe from oppression from employers anyway?
So fine, ESPN, here’s a challenge for you. If you are that inclusive, who could be a better replacement for Schilling, than a baseball loving Trans Woman? Funnily enough, I’m available at present too! I’ll even promise not to be biased when talking about the Royals, and the Dodgers, if that helps?
Seriously, if anyone knows who I should send my CV, or Résumé to, please let me know, I’d be interested to see how it went. I did try the ESPN careers page, but I guess they havent had time to post it up yet? No, I dont seriously think they’d be quite that inclusive, but no harm in finding out, if I know who to send it to. Or if someone from ESPN reads this, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll send it to you. Yes, I’m still using that email address at present, I’ve got 5 already, and could do without more at present! Please also let me know at that address, if you know who I need to send it to.
Right, the video. Well, given their head office is in New England, I thought of this, given there arent that many good baseball songs I havent already used!
This is actually the man who wrote the song, made famous by Kirsty McColl
Firstly, seriously, is there now any day left in the year that isnt “something” day? There must be a few I guess, but nowadays they must be getting few, and far between. So fine, today is actually one of those that actually means something important to me, Transgender Visibility Days.
Me, I’m pretty visible most days as transgender, though fine, generally outside, I’m more likely to wear slacks, than a skirt, but then again, so do most women? But yes, I do go out in a skirt sometimes, and certainly when I go out for an evening meal, its a safe bet it will be a dress, and heels that I wear.
But do I hide the signs that I’m living as a woman, no chance! I know its not as easy for everyone, I fully understand that, but I’ve got to the point in life where really, I wouldnt have it any other way! As to others, I wish more were able to go for it, just like me, but…
To be honest, however much I dislike, and suspect the motives of Caitlyn Jenner, there is one thing for sure, more people with biological gender issues are coming out about it, and hopefully in time, will be able to sort them out. One other blessing is that the surgery becomes more practiced, and carried out, the surgery we’re going to get, is only going to improve.
But fine, here, I’m talking about progressive (to varying degrees) countries, not all of the world. There are many parts of the world where being any part of the LGBT rainbow, is a pretty dangerous thing to be. Only today I read, that Saudi Arabia are attempting to bring in laws to make giving any sign of being any of those 4 things, a case for execution! Not just on the street either, but online too! Mind, before the West gets too smug, new rules just brought in by North Carolina, and Mississippi are pretty awful too. Georgia only avoided taking the same route because of pressure from very major businesses within the state, so they have nothing to be proud of. Mind, given their past record, Mississippi would probably like to bring back another form of segregation, but anyway…
Who, me, visible today? Yes, you could say that. I had an interview in town today, for a position in a bank, as a customer service officer, serving people in the bank. Suit jacket, dress, and high heels, absolutely! Whether the bank staff will have the courage to give the position to a Trans person, no idea? Not that strictly they know, my passport says I’m female, so as far as they know…? Yes, a very transgender visibility role, amazing stuff.
Me, and that final op? I honestly say that if something happened in my life, that would justify it, I would still get it done. But with my health, and my age, and how complex it is, I cant see it happening unless there is good cause. Apart from losing that thing (and getting a vagina instead), I’ve now pretty much got everything I want, so unless a man, or a woman comes along that wants me with pussy, probably not. I might regret it, at my dying day, but in truth, we’ll see.
Right, finally, the video. A nice gender blurring song, from a group called Blur!
It will officially be as a woman! Yes, I now have my new passport, at long last, new name, new gender, such a wonderful moment.
Fine, I guessed it was on its way, when the confirming paperwork, and old passport arrived back yesterday, by post, but this afternoon, the new passport actually arrived here, finally, its all sorted! Yes, all my paperwork now says I’m a woman, wow!
Yes, its been a long journey, about 15 years in all, but now, unless I take that last step, and get my ‘bits’ altered, thats the end of the transgender road for me. No, I think that unless someone special comes into my life, and wants me to change them, that at my age, its not likely to happen. Lets face it, my general health is not exactly great, so why undergo major surgery, that will now change nothing non sexual, why bother? I mean, its not like I bother with sex stuff anyway!
I wonder, if you’d told me 15 years or so ago, when I discovered this, that one day, this would happen, well I might have laughed at you, but now…I’m just so thrilled.
And no, I’m not planning on any more name changes either, unless I get married, something I’m pretty certain wont happen. Now, even if I do, I might take the daring step of not changing my name again, I love it far too much for that!
Alright, fine, now there’s one thing I want to do, but cant afford. Yes, thats right, I want to take a flight somewhere, as a woman! Hey, I’d even fly domestically, in truth, though further afield would be wonderful. But I just want to check in, with a passport that says I’m a woman, now. Actually, to fly to the US, which I would love, I actually now need to get a new ESTA, in my new name, and gender, and I think thats 72 hours warning, so…fine, I’ll fly closer to home, for now! Yes, in truth, its US immigration I want to pass through as a woman (not that I’ve ever had any issues with them) that will be so special. I love the country, and to enter, as a genuine woman, heaven!
But if anyone reading this, or knows someone with either with money to spare, or a wealthy benefactor, that wants to make this old ladies day, then yes, please do!
But yes, today is a very special day for me, that last piece of paperwork, that didnt say female, is no more!
Right, the video. Guess what, there’s a clue in the blog title. I know, so shocking lol!