Now I’m not working, and I’m missing all the LGBTI updates at work, I hadnt realised until going on Twitter today, that it was actually the Lesbian Day of Visibility today. You would, not unreasonably assume that as a Bisexual (verging on Lesbian), Intersex/Transgender woman that I’d be thrilled with that news, and ready to shout it loud and clear. Well, other than the fact we shouldnt need days like this, but besides that…?
Thing is, there are 2 groups of lesbians (almost certainly with some crossover) who I only wish weren’t so visible. Shocked? Yes, sad, but true, that not all Lesbian are all that keen on supporting the BT side of the spectrum, after all we’ve been through.
Lets deal with the more surprising one, to me at least, the B issue, for want of a better term. I mean, I can understand lesbians maybe not being keen on women like me, who havent got rid of all their ‘boy bits’ yet (more on this shortly), as a partner. Yes, cut me open, I’ve got a womb, and probably other female stuff, but outwardly… However, what seems to be the current development among some is the fact that a number of lesbian women wont date genitally correct bisexual women, because they also fancy men, and are therefore ‘dirty’ in some strange way. Yes, seriously, I’m hearing the outcome of this more often recently too.
The thing is, as is stated, being bisexual doesnt mean the desire to actually have sex with both genders, all it means is that, heaven forbid, we might fancy people of each gender. I mean, there are some men I could definitely fancy, but the idea of having sex with them, even if I had my bits sorted out, not that likely. But no, some have come out and said they could never date a woman who has fancied a man, let alone done anything more with them. So what could I say, the first one that never, ever dated a boy, even as an experiment at school, let them throw the first stone? Doubt many stones would get thrown, somehow! Still, as I see it, their loss?
The other lesbians I wish were less visible are TERF’s. I assume the last 2 letters are for real females, or something, but I dont know, nor do I care to know. These are a ‘lovely’ bunch of women who believe that unless you were born a woman, you cant be a woman. Thats right, all the hormones, all the surgery, you’re still a man. The funniest thing about this group is that one of their ‘leading lights’ is actually a Trans woman, which makes them an even more crazy bunch to deal with.
I gather it relates to the whole bathroom thing, though how that relates to post surgery Trans women being the Devil, I have no idea? The other thing is, they’re hypocritical. You see, when someone mentions to them that surely that meant that Trans Men, because they were originally women should actually use the same bathroom as them, and you would have thought the sky had fallen in. So seemingly they seem to want it both ways, which is clearly wrong, to everyone but them!
Most amusingly, last week I posted on a LGBT issue, relating to lesbians. This woman (who was clearly a TERF) liked, and retweeted my posting, and even followed me! Somewhere, seemingly got long after, she took a look at my profile, and saw I stated I was Transgender. By the time I saw the notifications for what she had done, not only had she reversed the like, and the retweet, she’d blocked me!
I’ve also had a previous clash with one of these transgender hating lesbians, and asked where she stood on Intersex people like myself. Said I was therefore fine, but lets face it, if I stood naked in front of her, it would be my boy bits that were showing currently, so I dont get it?
So yes, its nice today for Lesbians to be visible to the wider world, but I only wish they all supported all of their fellow sisters in the world, and not just the ones that it suits them to support?
Video time. Hard to believe this song is 40 years old, and to be fair, some matters have improved. But as this blog shows, some LGBTI people still want to shoot themselves in the foot, and only support those that it suits them to support. This is live from last year, so definitely not used before
Oh, last irony. A little while after originally recording this, Tom found he wasnt actually gay, he’s bisexual!
I was wondering why Trans Ally was trending on Twitter, on a day when I couldnt logically think of a reason why. So I took a look, and wished I hadnt bothered. Seems the horribly right wing Times managed to post 4 anti Transgender articles in their newspaper today, and the reaction seems to have exploded accordingly. The trend is an eclectic mix between supporters, and those who think we should all be strung up, executed, or both! A few of the more crazy kind have clearly been hunting on Social Media for Trans people, found me, but yes, I’ve removed the abuse promptly. But unfortunately, with the swing to the extreme right that the world seems to be experiencing at present, is it any wonder? Sadly I doubt the anti LGBT hate all too prevalent at present will be going away any time soon!
Actually, that wasnt even what I was planning to write about tonight, it was an article I read yesterday, which I got reminded about, only after the blog had been done for the day.
As the article says, 250 years on from the event, its impossible to know if Pulaski was intersex, female, or actually a man with a weird skeleton. Clearly the latter would seem unlikely, though not impossible, as his body may have got some strange wounds in various battles he took part in. Its also possible that Pulaski was a woman, hid the fact skilfully and rose to the position of General through her skills. Unlikely, I would have thought a physician would have noticed something missing when treating the General after being wounded.
In truth, in the 1770’s, if there was no obvious outward signs that the General had any female traits, then nobody would really have noticed. Medical skills back then were pretty basic, so anything less than basic, probably not expected, or discovered. Its only because by good fortunes, the bones were kept, and recently exhumed to move the statue, that someone decided to do some tests, and… the pelvic area was more that of a woman, than a man.
The thing to point out is that if the General, as seems likely, was intersex, there is very little chance he knew, during his 34 brief years of life. Back then, its fair to say it would have made little difference if he had known! But yes, at a time when LGBTI+ folk tend to feel like Marmite (loved or hated, nothing in between), this is quite a discovery.
Video time. Lets see, a woman who fought like a man? Was she intersex too? We will never know, as all the evidence was burnt, lol! This is a rare song, OMD never actually made a video of this, though of course ‘Maid of Orleans’ was another song about her, for which a video was made. But lets have some Legs & Co, and yes, I love their outfits for this.
Firstly, for those of you who weren’t around 18 months ago, and I know there are some, let me remind you that I thought I was going to a wedding in Carmel (New York, not California, but…) as a guest, then as a bridesmaid. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I ended up as Maid of Honour! Not bad for an old Transgender Lady, and Stacie did find out how thrilled I was when offered that dream role. As some might also remember, my back was already gone by then, but I laid off the painkillers for 3 days (as instructed) before the big day, so I could drink, and thankfully the weather was hot enough to get away with that. For further details (if interested), go back to the blogs around September/ October 2017 for more information, and pictures.
Anyway, finally New York State caught up with a lot of places at the weekend, and passed some Transgender Equality Rights into law. Not that I’m likely to ever live there now (Florida, Arizona, or California is more my climate needs now), but I’m delighted for those that do. Thing is, probably as I might have said in truth, when Stacie was asked her opinion on this, she was obviously thrilled at the outcome, but commented that it would be another matter to see if it actually happens in reality. For giving this utterly honest answer, someone accused her of being trans-phobic. I know, I might have stopped laughing by the 2nd wedding anniversary in September, but anyway…
Thing is, in truth, having experienced the reality of life, I probably would have said much the same thing as she did, and I’m actually Transgender! In truth, any rules relating to LGBTI (sneaking intersex in) people being made, and actually being applied, are 2 different matters. So fine, I know the person who accused her is unlikely to read this, but whoever you were, you’re wrong, Stacie is not trans-phobic, just the opposite in fact. So think things through logically, before jumping to conclusions, pretty please.
Oh fine, I mentioned Carmel (California this time) before, and I’m going to mention it again, as a famous resident celebrated her 97th birthday there today, a certain Doris Day! Its fair to say that one is more winter suitable for me than the New York one, thats for sure.
Last connection for today. Over here at present, there is an advert on TV for Strongbow Cider. The amusement, the song is played on acoustic guitar, and old fashioned piano. Why is that funny? Well, the song is Together In Electric Dreams, and I’m pretty sure its all deliberate. Why, well, near the end, in the background, Phil Oakey, who of course sang the original version. I’m sure the ‘joke’ is lost on anyone under 50, but I can only hope…? So, yes, thats the song, but again its not Phil. I have no idea if Gary Simmons, and Kirsty Marr are still a couple, but fingers crossed, but this was done over 8 years ago. If either see this, maybe they can let the world know?
Oh fine, I lied when I said that the 2 blogs would be the same all week, because they wont be. Mainly because some people reading on the other blog think I’m a natural woman, and for some, after about 18 years, I’d hate to break the news, lol. So we’ll keep this here, and I have an idea for the other place, which I’m sure you wont mind missing. Mind, a lot will know where to find it, anyway!
This week, for those who didnt already know, and I hope most in the LGBT community at least do, is Transgender Awareness Week. I know, preaching to the converted, as lets face it, if you dont like Trans folk, you’re not likely to be reading this!
Anyway, no, I’m not going to preach, so dont worry if you thought this was going to be just that. What I am going to tell you is the amusing story of how I ended up in Portugal during T.A.W (for short) in the first place. Earlier this year, I was talking to someone in the US (if I get too specific, some will know who I mean, so to protect the guilty…) and it was suggested (see, no personal pronoun) that maybe I could go out there, and speak to the Trans community in their state, and try and convince them that things arent as grim as they seem, even with that LGBT hating idiot they have in charge over there. See, not playing to someone’s ego, either, by mentioning his name! Not that I have for a while, but he’s orange, and wears a wig, so… 😉 So, I booked this week off at work a long while back, to cover for this eventuality. As you might have guessed, in the end, it came to nothing. What they have done to mess me around since then, absolutely no comment!
So I had 2 options, I could cancel the week of holiday at work, save it for another time, but then my back came up with this bright idea, how about a week somewhere warm, to ease both my pain, and my back pain. So, to cut a long story short, go on budget holiday website, find what seemed a nice option (and most definitely is), and take the week off, and go elsewhere, in this case, Portugal! All seems fine, right?
Well, the thing is, I did a piece for T.A.W for work, both for our group section, and ultimately, for the whole department as well! A lovely piece, a letter to my younger self, explaining to her whats going to happen in her future life, and all that. Of course, the snag is, normally the writer is around to respond to comments at work, and I’m in Portugal, and no access to our Department Intranet. I suspect from the ways its playing out, they’re probably planning to put it up on Friday, so people will barely realise that the ‘old lady’ isnt there until Monday to reply to comments, shrewd move.
Yes, I will let blog readers see it at some point, though as its currently only on my work computer, it wont be until after I get back, and can send the document home! If I dont, remind me, please! Well, assuming anyone wants to see it, of course?
Irony is, me personally, the last thing I want people to be aware of, is that I’m Trans. Me, I’m just another woman, OK? But yes, if you have any Trans friends in need of extra support, this is a great week to do it, just saying…
Right, this is almost the Beautiful South, doing a Housemartins song, which you might have guessed the title of already?
Its always handy when somebody gives me the chance to be a grumpy old lady, and for once its not that idiot across the pond, with the orange face. Though yes, I could say something extremely rude about him at present, and his latest imbecilic ideas about Trans people, but lets not give his ego a boost by mentioning him. Hopefully, 2 weeks today, he gets a nasty surprise, as long as Russia dont fix another election for him.
No, lets have a snipe at another thing that is the bane of my life, First Buses. Fine, yesterday they weren’t aided by my back being in a really bad way, because of the weather and stuff, but they proceeded to shoot themselves in the foot, so lets try and bury them too.
Yesterday, a far too regular event happened, they put their fares up. Fair enough, there are things called inflation, but currently thats a lot less than the 5% that fares went up yesterday. The thing is, I wouldnt object to them raising fares, if the quality of service got raised too, but as was shown yesterday, its a one sided deal.
As I say, yesterday wasnt a lovely day weather wise, it was pretty cold, and my already sore back reacted to the cold weather like bees having their hive smashed to pieces by a hungry bear. Yes, not good.
So finally, about 2.20, after a couple of ‘not great’ calls, due to the pain being too intense to focus on work, I gave up on a bad deal, and decided to call it a day, and head home to rest up. The journey would normally take about 75-90 minutes or so, which is long enough, but had to be done. In truth, I probably would have paid out, and got a train instead (far smoother ride), but there werent any, engineering works! So it was bus, or rail replacement bus, so…
I finally got to the bus station at 3.07, as I had to stop to get a drink, to take some painkillers, to try and ease the pain in my back a bit. There is meant to be a bus to Huddersfield every 10 minutes. There should have been one at 3.10, but I never saw it. There should have been another at 3.20, again it never showed! The 3.30 finally showed at 3.32, and by the time everyone was on board a now overcrowded bus, we left about 3.36.
That bus is due into Huddersfield at 4.08. Actual arrival time, 4.23. No, not because of traffic, simply because there were dozens of people en route wanting to get on, given the lack of 2 buses before it. As quickly as I could (limited), I walked down for the bus home, due to leave town at 4.25, which again, never showed. The 4.35 finally turned up about 4.40 and I got indoors just after 5.00!
By which time the pain in my back was considerably off the scale, lol! Even now, 26 hours, and numerous painkillers later (I’ve taken more than normal today for a non working day), I’m still pretty sore. Now I’m not going to blame First Buses entirely for that, there’s been a bitter wind blowing most of the day, which doesnt help, but even so, they are definitely the main culprit.
As I said, if they provided a service that justified a fare increase, then fine, but they dont. Seemingly like most nowadays, all they care about are extra profits, and no service to customers. Its not hard to see why everyone knows them as ‘Worst Buses’ lets face it.
Oh for a flying saucer, or even more aptly at this time of year, maybe, a flying broomstick! At least I’d have reliable transport, and wouldnt mind paying for it. Fine, rant over. Now all I need is a spell to turn a certain US/Russian(?) wigged man into a frog, or a newt, and…? 😉
Right, video time. I cant imagine too many of my readers will remember this TV series, as its one from my childhood. But some will hopefully, and its Al Yankovic, so its crazy, so…
Fine, I was going to do a lighthearted birthday celebration piece today (actually for yesterday), but then I realised what date it was, and fine, plans change! So sorry, Nancy Carroll, maybe some other time (or place, for those who know? 😉 )
Yes, this year, 20th November is the date I truly wish we didnt have to remember, transgender remembrance day. Sadly, far too many transgender people over the years have died, either at their own hands, because they couldnt face the struggles of life any more, or at the hands of others, in a more violent way.
In the latter sense, I’ve been lucky. Only once have I been assaulted, and that guy was so drunk, he could do little damage. Besides which, the bus driver soon sent him on his way anyway. I was stood at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to turn up one Sunday afternoon when this guy grabbed me, but I was easily able to fight him off. As I got on the bus, he knocked me over from behind, but thats as far as it went. I’ve been called a few names at other times, but thats pretty much it, and I can easily cope with that. After 20 years (in total) managing betting shops, thats nothing compared to what I was called then!
Sadly, others have had it far worse than me, either in terms of violence used on them, or as I say, killed! And yes, more than a few have taken their own lives, because believe me, living as a transgendered person is not easy! I’ve got through it, but fine, I’ve had my moments of depression about it, all the same.
Me, now. Yes, it makes a huge difference when all your paperwork, and ID says you’re female, I feel so much better for having got to that point. In fact, now, I’m working in my first job (at 58!) where I’ve only ever been known as a woman, and yes, loving it! But for others, its not so easy, and I guess for Americans, over the next 4 years, things will definitely be tough! But hopefully we can all get through, ideally safe, sound, and living in our desired gender.
Right, video. I’m not sure if this really works, or not, but I thought it suitable. Two versions, first, the original video
Secondly, a recent Maggie Reilly version where she is clearly singing live!
As they say, take your pick, or play both, your call. Just for one day though, remember all those transgendered folks in your thoughts too. No, I’m not expecting Mr Trump to do that lol!
Here in the UK, this seems to be Pride weekend, certainly is in Leeds, and from what I’ve seen advertised, it is in a few other cities too. Yes, I’m too old nowadays for these sort of things, and besides, this year at least, I havent really got the money to go this weekend anyway. But as I say, its for younger folk than me really, anyway. Doesnt mean I’m not supporting them in spirit, mind.
Its funny, I was born, and indeed lived life at a time when homosexuality was regarded as illegal. Thankfully, things have changed dramatically since then, and fine, even if a few religious cranks (mainly in the US) think its a ‘disease’ that can be cured, the vast majority of people at least accept it, to various degrees. Hopefully, in a few years time, transexuality will be treated in the same way. Its getting there, the latest generations seem to be finding it ever easier to accept who they are, and in time, older generations will generally get to acceptance of it, I’m sure.
So fine, you’re expecting me to say that I’m proud that the Pride festival takes place, and all that? Right? Wrong! Dont get me wrong, I’m glad that LGBT folk can go out on a weekend like this, and show their pride at being who they are, but I’m still sad it needs to happen. Why? Because for the same reason there isnt a Hetro Pride weekend, in an ideal world, it wouldnt need to happen! I know, maybe its like the football fans on a Saturday, they like to go out and celebrate, and if it was just that, then great, but in our hearts, we know it isnt. Oh, the amusing thing in my new job, when discussing this, I had to settle for the Bi option, lol!
Its like all the fuss the press make, when someone comes out as gay, or lesbian, one great day, it wont be news, and no one will really care! Probably not in my lifetime, but compared to how things were, 50 years ago, we’re getting there, and life’s a lot better for LGBT folk. But one small day, in the future, we wont need Pride parades to prove it, I hope!
The biggest irony, Leeds NHS have made great show about Pride weekend, and how their Trans related unit will be taking part in the parade. Irony, their waiting list is by far the worst in the whole of the UK, and their reputation is dreadful! Yes, another reason why I cant be bothered to get my bits ‘bobbed’ around here!
Just one closing thought, though I’m not entirely saying it was Trans related, but here’s something to think about. Job hunting, as a woman, with my old male passport, I went 0 offers, out of a lot. As a woman, with my new female passport, 2 offers out of 4. Hmm?
Video, a bit of live Ultravox. Fans might have worked out the song from the blog title, though as it was a minor hit, others might not have done?
Oh fine, I’d planned to focus on one transgender issue in this blog, that the UK government seemingly have been trying to cover up, but events of the weekend have sort of overwhelmed that. Still going to look at it, but maybe a bit less detail than if events in America hadnt happened.
So, lets start with the one I’m sure everybody has heard about, the awful massacre in Orlando. I’m going to do my best not to say too much about the gun laws in the US. But given the fact that someone on the FBI watch list, can get hold of a weapon like that, and nothing happens, just unbelievable! The blunt fact is, despite his last phone call, this was not an ISIS related terrorist activity. They clearly knew nothing about it in advance, from their postings on the matter (source, instead of their agency), whatever the more rabid people of the media might want to suggest. What is clear, is that he came from a homophobic background, and had a deep hatred for all gay people. As a sideline, he believed in beating his wife too! Yes, lovely guy, not.
Unbelievably, in these days of health and safety, fire standards, and the works, the club he went into in Orlando had only one entry/exit point. There seemed to be others, but they led to closets, or a small courtyard, not a proper route of escape. So, once in, hard to get out of, under the circumstances, without being shot! Given the enclosed space, and the weapon he had, its probably a blessing that as few as 50 died, though sadly, its possible that number may yet go up.
Oh, the beloved right wing media. Focusing on the fact that he was Muslim, and that phone call, and ignoring all the other facts! Yes, he was Muslim, but as the next section of this shows, that was just one issue, the main one was his awful homophobia. He carried out this massacre because he saw two men kiss in front of him, on the street. Yes, seriously, that was it!
Rest in peace, all those sadly dead from this atrocity.
The next piece, I suspect the amount you’ve heard about, depends on where you’re reading this. Yesterday, was L.A Pride day. So fine, I might not have known much about it, but for my friends in the area. What happened yesterday morning, was the arrest of a white man, in Santa Monica, because his car was full of enough artillery to cause an equal amount of death, and destruction. Funnily enough, he was a right wing extremist, who admitted he was heading to the Pride festival, and it didnt look, or sound like he was going there to join the parade. Thankfully, in this case, he was caught before he got there, and with additional security, all went off fine. But again, just about a year ago, he was arrested for, yes, you’ve guessed it, gun offences!
Please, USA, at least reconsider your gun laws. Oh, I forgot, the NRA (National Rifle Association) has so many congressmen in their pay, that…ah well! 😦
Lastly, and something that my ‘beloved’ UK government have sneaked through, is this
I’ve seen a meme a few times on Facebook, which shows a guy, and a girl in bed, post coital sex. To quote her, is something like “No, thats not my boyfriend, thats me before the operation.”, and a stunned look on his face. Alright, I found it amusing the first couple of times, but yes, it gets less funny as time goes on. Mind, given she clearly had all the right ‘bits’, why should it really bother him, unless…?
Me, I’m not planning on having sex anytime soon, in truth, and besides which, at the moment, if it got as far as sexual matters, I’ve clearly still got something a girl shouldnt have! But in truth, before anyone got that close to me, I’d make my limitations very well known, and let them act accordingly. In truth, I’m pretty certain that even if I was post op, I’d let someone know first, before we got up close, and physical! To be truthful, given I doubt I would consider the op, unless I needed it, for sex, someone is going to know anyway!
But yes, I guess, younger people, who have fully transitioned, and look just fine, do people really need to know? I’m sure that now, with younger, and younger people starting to transition, its going to come to a point where people really arent going to know, beyond the fact that their wife/partner will never get pregnant! Fine, maybe decades from now, Trans Girls will have babies, but for now…
So, I’m torn, in that someone of my generation probably would want to say something, so it shouldnt matter, but I can see youngsters feeling differently about it. But overall, no, I’m not a fan of this.
OK, video time. Maybe because of my age, maybe because of my attitude, or maybe because this body has so emotionally destroyed me over the years, this pretty much sums me up, concerning these homophobic haters out there
Before we get started tonight, I’ll issue a warning. If you are squeamish about people’s ‘bits’, then you may not want to watch the video in the link. It is only animated, not the real thing, but… Reading the article should be fine, but just in case, consider yourself warned.
Sadly, this might also be the closest I actually get to it happening to me, unless someone comes into my life, and wants me to go through with it, because I know just how painful it would be. And yes, fine, if I was 28, instead of 58, and feeling strong, I’d probably go ahead with it regardless. But now, just for me, I think I’ll pass!
Lets face it, nowadays all my paperwork says I’m female, though there are a few places in the US at present that would object to me using a ladies toilet, technically. Strictly, if they looked at my ID (Passport), it says I’m female! If they actually insist on looking at my bits, then fine, I fail their crazy tests, but anyway…
Mind, they wouldnt work in a sex sense anyway, as would be the case for most trans females, in all honesty. Mind, it seems its more the case that being in a public toilet with a GOP politician is far more dangerous than being with a Trans Woman! Maybe we should bar all of them from public toilets?
Yes, for those of you brave enough to look at the video, it is painful, and not quick surgery either. As I say, if the need arises, and I have my doubts it will, I’ll get it done, but until then, I’ll give it a pass. I know, that will make me even older when I get it done, should I have the need, but my call of preference! The funny thing is, when I was getting answers from men on the dating site, they seemed to want a girl with additional parts, not the anatomically correct ones! Yes, I know I’m going to hate dying, with the wrong parts, but what can I say, apart from the fact I’m getting on in years, and not that endeared of pain!
But yes, if someone wants to make it worth my while to get it done, or wants to get all dominant with me, and make me have it done, then fine, though in the case of the latter, you’re paying for it!
Right, video time. To be honest, all this time, I assumed this was a Rod Stewart song. Well, it was, but that was a cover! Yes, Cat Stevens wrote, and sung the song first! And I’ve found a very rare 1960’s live version of him singing it. Yes, its blurry, but its history! Fine, if you want to find Rod’s version, or even the Sheryl Crow one, then OK, but…