If only to stop me from disintegrating completely lol!
Much to my surprise, and judging by her reaction, the nurse’s surprise too, they got the results of my X-Rays back today. Yes, basically I’m old, and my body is showing its age, in the disintegration of my back. It seems I have got a wedge fracture at the bottom of my thoracic spine, which has been caused by weakening of the bone in my spine. Or as it could also be called, osteoporosis. Which all comes down to the fact that I’m getting old, and the fact that my body has been battered a bit during life hasnt helped of course. So in truth, short of someone actually creating that new cybernetic body that I dream of, there isnt a lot they can do. But if anyone is researching such a thing, and needs a volunteer to try it out on, call me!
So, outcome for now, to leave it a few weeks, and see if it stays much the same, gets better, gets worse, and then take things from there. More painkillers, more steroid cream for now, and then review. I also need to try and do something to get my colon more active again, which may have been started because of this, which may have caused some of this, or might simply be a side issue, but yes, needs to be dealt with.
Yes, work knows, I rang them shortly after I found out from surgery, though I suspect most of bosses had gone home by then. I’m planning to go in tomorrow, though how well it will work with a standard seat, I have no idea? Even more the bus journey, but anyway…? Ideally I need a seat that will take all the pressure off my back, of which I have no idea if that exists, or not? I suspect a non gravity chamber is only in the range of science fiction lol!
But yes, its official, I’m getting old, and my body is determined to prove it! Anyone got a spare back brace laying around lol?
Video, like me, a real oldie. The record is from 1968, though this live performance is from the 80’s, and quite good. So…
One of those series that I could enjoy the camp, kitsch nature of more, as I grew older, was Batman. Yes, I enjoyed it as an 8, to 10 year old child, but fine, it meant so much more, as I grew older, and got to understand the nuances of it, but anyway…Yes, sadly, my Batman is dead, Adam West, at the grand old age of 88. I know, there have been more modern version of the character, but if you asked me to choose between the more modern, dark brooding versions, or that gloriously crazy version from the 1960’s, no contest! I know, its probably the one you grow up with, that you prefer, so…?
Its fair to say that the outfits worn back then, were less fetish than recently, though to say they were designed for sex appeal still came into the matter, as per the video clip shortly. 50 years on, its impossible to exactly remember which role I fancied ‘playing’ most, though I’m not saying that Batgirl, or Catwoman didnt come into the equation, I cant be positive on that now.
But yes, now, and possibly influenced by that PVC outfit that Michelle Pfieffer wore, its fair to say that playing at being Catwoman, would be a lot of fun! Though yes, the original, Julie Newmar probably appeals to me the most. Maybe because she mixed feline charm, in with all that wickedness? Oh, and fine, that style of Catsuit was none too shabby either!
Anyway, as a tribute to Batman, here’s a scene where Catwoman is supposedly seducing Batman, though clearly her aim is something entirely different, as we find out at the end.
So yes, RIP, Adam West, and thanks for those memories. And yes, I do feel old when things like this happen, and I realize that before too long, Old Mother Time is going to catch up with me too. But until then…
OK, video time. So, is this good girl going to go bad, and be Catwoman, rather than Batgirl? Yes, absolutely! 😉
Fine, today I proved to myself why I dont bet, and its because I’m a lousy gambler. More on that shortly.
Yesterday, the first target was to turn my little phone into an active one, by getting its umpteenth new Sim card over the years. Basically, they last 90 days, and apart from 2 occasions, everytime I travel to the US, I need a new one. And so, choices, choices…
Because I wanted to go back to Pasadena at some point on the holiday, and there was an AT&T store near the metro station there, I went over there to do it. I could have done it locally, but it would have needed a fair walk, so fine, excuse made. Pasadena is a lovely place to visit, except for this weekend, when I gather it will be chaos there, with pop concerts, museum tours, and roadworks, all adding to the racing at Santa Anita, so yes, glad its done.
After finishing there, I did the opposite to the Pet Shop Boys, and went East. The line has been extended eastwards to Azusa, so I took a chance to travel on it. A bite of lunch, then back to Pasadena for the bus journey home. Apart from 4 people each travelling just one stop (one may have had health issues, the other 3 definitely didnt), it was a fairly dull affair.
This morning is when I gambled, and got it wrong. I walked down to the Metro station to get a train downtown, to find that an ‘every 10-12 minute service’ wouldnt be along for 21 minutes! So fine, I thought, I’ll walk down, get the bus to Santa Monica, and get the train back. Yes, another new line I wanted to go on. Oh fine, I picked the crazy bus, clearly! So yes, with all the delays with those folk, I could have waited over 20 minutes for the train downtown, gone back out to Santa Monica, and still have been quicker!
I did my stroll around town, stopping off for a coffee, before heading to the biggest Santa Monica landmark, the pier! Which supposedly is the end of Route 66, halfway down its length, according to the sign. I strolled to the bottom, said my close up farewell to the Pacific, in case I dont go down there at Pacific Palisades, though I will see it as I fly out, but thats not the same thing. Lunch on the pier, then finally I got that train I could not miss, back to LA.
In truth the most memorable bit of the journey was 2 teenagers being ‘tough’ until some guy actually stood up to them, and then they quietened down! They had reminded me why I’m not a fan of modern music at least!
Tomorrow evening, is dress up time, as I’m off to the movies at the Egyptian Theater. I know, I dont have to, especially nowadays, but it will be fun to put a dress on, so I will. Sunday afternoon, a Women in Media event, so a chance to try and sell my talents, maybe? Other than that, I’ll see what the morning brings!
I’ve given a couple of clues to the video, so hopefully you know what it is, without looking!
Because as they always say about Hollywood, you just never know! Granted, given that isnt the Golden Age any more, the vision of being whisked off the streets of Hollywood, and becoming a movie star are far slimmer than they used to be. Even more so when you’re fast heading towards 60! But fine, miracles might happen…stop laughing!
Well, for the first time in about 18 months, my nails have been ‘painted’ (gel, actually), my brows have been removed again, and I wont be doing a Julia Roberts if I do wear a sleveless dress either! Hopefully some will get that comment at least? And despite a shoulder that seems determined to join my long list of less than perfectly functioning joints, my body has hopefully been massaged into a state where it can survive a near 11 hour flight. Definitely my longest since 2003 (London – Seattle), and maybe the longest, as I’m guessing flights might be slightly faster by now? Anyway…
And yes, I will be the ‘platinum blonde’ after tomorrow morning, when I get my hair done as well. Though in truth, I’m more suitable for Mama Jean, than Baby Jean material nowadays lol. But actually, today, the subject seems to have been about an actress even closer to my heart than Jean Harlow, though far less famous. Yes, Clara Johnson! Discussed her this afternoon while having my body seen to, which started off with asking if I planned to be regressed again to find out more (Yes, definitely, given the chance) and just went on from there. The head massage part, I did wonder if she was trying to get Clara to come out in my mind, there and then!
This morning, she came up, through talking about another actress of that era, and one I plan to see a statue of, while away, Myrna Loy. Yes, the one at Venice High School. Must see it once, for sure.
Unfortunately, for minor actresses (and chorus line dancers) in the late 20’s, and early 30’s, its hard to find much details, as extras, and chorus line girls didnt get credited, unless they made it later, and as she never did…
So fine, at present, I know…
She was born in Oklahoma in 1905. She moved to LA, from Texas in 1925. She was resident in LA in 1930, and declared her career as an actress on the census form that year, living in town with her brother. What happened to her parents, no idea? 1937, her one actual credit in a movie, in an uncredited role in Thin Ice, and thats definite, care of census details, and IMDB for that movie role.
On top of that, apparantly stated in regression, she was already working as a bit part actress by 1928, got married in the late 30’s, had a daughter, and judging by the impression she gave, I would say, died of lung cancer at some point in the early, to mid 50’s. Of course, the marriage makes things impossible to trace, without going through all marriage records for the area, assuming it didnt happen elsewhere. Pretty sure it would have been local, but…
I know this is the wildest question, but if anyone has any idea who she is in Thin Ice, which I guess is unlikely, as there were numerous uncredited roles in that movie, let me know. Sadly I dont know anyone at Fox, so I doubt I could dive into their archives, even if they go back that far! Must have been a contract, a pass picture, or something? Also, if anyone knows someone who could get me back into the room with the LA census records, and/or marriage records for that era, please let me know. If nothing else, the chance to pay my respects, before I left town, would be so precious.
So yes, in a sense, I want to get a message to Clara Johnson to hold on, because I’m still seeking her, wherever she may be resting. Yes, I’ve stood in Jean’s ‘footsteps’ in Kansas City station, I’d love to stand in Clara’s, in Hollywood. Yes, I know…
The video is all about getting that message out, though actually I will have 10 days, and my life wont be through, if its in vain, as I suspect it will be. Unless…?
Unlike some Trans women, I’ve never missed the fact that I didnt have the chance to give birth to children. I know, lived all my life as a woman, I might feel differently about the whole matter, but I doubt it! I might even be up on some of those women, given that I actually have a womb, that never developed, probably for the obvious reason, but yes, as I found out about a dozen years ago, I do have one! Too old to be a mum to my own child now, but anyway…
Do I think that at some point it will be possible? Yes, would be the answer, especially given that the initial development of an artificial womb is in the process of being tried out, admittedly not yet on human children, but give it a few years…
Also, at the moment, Trans women wouldnt be able to produce an egg, let alone conceive a baby from one, but I’m sure that in time, yes, that will happen, with genetic engineering, and all that, in the future. Even more so for those with a womb, undeveloped, or otherwise. Me, I’ll probably be forgotten by the time its possible, but it will happen, I’m sure.
Equally, I’m sure that Trans men will be able to father a baby too, probably using the same genetic tricks. Again, its going to be a few years, but equally sure it will happen. What I’m also wondering, especially for Trans women, currently without a womb, will these external wombs be able to be fitted internally one day? Again probably, but again, probably not in my time. But for future generations…?
Me, happy to pass on all this baby love stuff, but I know others feel differently, so…
Yes, that last line gives a big clue to the video. Shows how old I am, I had the single of this, so many years ago!
…and avoid at least 10 days of the election hype that we’re now going to have thrust on us, yet again! With luck, I can avoid a lot more than that, but that at least is guaranteed. Yes, could hardly ignore the announcement of a General Election at the beginning of June, could I? No, given my job in the Civil Service, and the fact that my readers will cover the range from Labour, to UKIP, I’m not going to give my views here on any issues, so dont ask! I will vote, and I have a good idea who I will vote for, but I’m not saying more.
The only blessing, as I say, with the timing, is that I’m going to miss 10 days of the campaign, while away in California. Note, I left out the word ‘relaxing’ because in all truth, there will definitely be a good percentage of the time when I will be trying to sell myself to people, or at least I hope there will be. Fine, I will enjoy myself as well, but yes, its probably my last big chance to make it in LA, so…
Fine, I’ll have to kick my unofficial press officer (yes, she will know who I mean!) and see if she can perform miracles at getting me noticed in LA. Yes, Madi, I am joking really, but if you can…lol!
When I was last in LA 18 months ago, I registered with a Transgender Talent Agency, and dropped an email to them, knowing I was only in town for a short period of time, to get myself known with them at least. Yes, she picked it up only after I’d come back, but said to give her notice when I’m going across again, so today, I have! Even if it doesnt provide instant offers, at least she’ll know me, I’ll know her, and who knows where it might lead from there? Movie fame, I doubt it? A decent run in lesser roles in theaters, well who knows, just maybe? I know, it might lead to more, but I’d settle for that chance for now.
Should anyone want to stun her, by asking about my services, before she meets me, the agency can be found here http://www.transgendertalent.com/ Mind, you need to ask for Harlean, not the name suggested by the blog lol!
Sadly, I’ve heard no more about possibly working on a documentary over there, down in San Diego, so I’m assuming thats not now going to happen, but I will drop a line at some point, just to make sure, but fine, that was maybe hoping for a little too much? But if you dont try?
Fine, I might hope that one of the chat show hosts might have been, by chance looking at the Civil Service Blog, and seen my piece, but I would say that ranks somewhere between no chance, and less, but hey, until I come back, you never know? Lol! I must also contact that lovely lady who interviewed me 18 months ago, and see if she wants to do a follow up, or not?
In truth, I only wish I had the time, money, and holiday allowance to extend the holiday by another fortnight or so, and miss the whole ghastly General Election experience, but not to be. Yes, I would still vote, I’d get a postal vote, if that miracle happened! I’ll start one of these funding campaigns if someone wants to provide for the extended stay, mind. No, thought not!
But yes, I know a place where about 650 people will be seeking a job at that time, and 1 person who will hopefully be doing the same in La La Land! I know who I suspect will be more successful, but…?
And that last comment, and the blog title leads to tonights video. Two Petula Clark classics for the price of one, and before you think that its a long video, the last 2 minutes can be cut off easily, and not miss anything.
I’ll give you one piece of warning, if anyone can work out the video from that, I’m amazed, because its about the biggest double bluff I’ve ever thrown! So no, it definitely isnt ‘Family Tree’, just saying.
Given that I’ve not asked permission, and its a Facebook friend I dont really know personally, I’m not going to say who it was, or provide any sort of link to it, but this morning they posted about considering going to Art School, instead of maybe what they see as a more sensible career. Me, I’d say go for it, if its your wish, regardless. Because the one thing you dont want to be doing in 40 years time, like I could be, is wondering where it might have led you, if you’d taken the braver step. Who knows, it might be for the better, it might be for the worse, but if its your ambition, then go for it!
As I said in the title, when I was young, I used to act. It started in Primary school, continued through Grammar school as a serious thing, even if in truth, I might not have been the worlds greatest actor, but who knows? If I’d gone to Drama courses, at university or something, after school, I might be anywhere now. Hollywood? Well, maybe? I doubt it somehow, but I might be earning a steady salary in the theater, or movies, or…but no, I’m working in an office instead. Its a nice office, dont get me wrong, but if I’d set out to fulfil my dream?
The first few years after I left school (no university, family needs meant I had to get to work ASAP), I did my best to carry on, but once I started commuting further afield to London, it had to take a back seat. I did do some more once in Somerset/Dorset in the 90’s, which was fun, local, and nice to do again. And like riding a bike, I would say I hadnt lost the technique.
Since then, not a lot, and in more recent years, nothing at all, in truth. Why, I suspect at first it was the questions I was asking myself about my gender, and then work, and everything else, its ground pretty much to a halt. I’d like to think that one day I will get the call, pick up again, and get back to it, though I doubt it now. One friend ‘foresees’ I will, but maybe I’m more practical than her, in accepting that no, my dream of being a star actress (nowadays) are pretty much gone.
Do I regret that? Yes, probably I do, but thats life for me, I guess, and I have to accept that. But do I wonder, if things had been different, and I’d done drama courses, and more, after I’d finished school, either at a drama school, or university, whether I might have made it? Yes, of course I do, even if the chances it would have happened might be slim, there would have been that chance, so…
The other interesting thought, especially if I’d played a few more female roles (I really should have taken the hint!) later on, would I have transitioned at a younger age, made it truly as an actress? Again, I’ll never know, but…
So yes, this comment is aimed more at the young, or younger people reading this. If you have a dream for yourself, go for it. If it doesnt work out, you can always get a ‘real job’ later, but give it a try. Just dont be, in 30 or 40 years time, be typing on whatever computer, or related device you’re using by then, your thoughts on wondering what might have been, just saying.
Right, video time. Its not the blog title, but you could say its what I’ve been doing in here. This version is a live version from last year, which truly has the singer reflecting on his life.
This one, 47 years earlier, from the year I changed to Grammar School, is the original version
In truth, I have no idea if strictly 2016 has been a worse year for celebrity deaths or not, or whether its just that more people that I’ve grown up with are beginning to die, or what? It feels that way, but I suspect if I looked back at certain years in the past, they’d be just as bad, but anyway…Yes, I might be feeling old lol!
I know there are still 3 days to go, so it might happen yet, but maybe someone needs to get me a ‘I survived 2016’ top/t-shirt, or something? Well, assuming I do, of course! No, I’m not going to mention the whole depressing roll call, or indeed any specific names, because I’ll leave out someone who someone thinks was the most important, so lets not go down that road, OK?
Mind, if anyone wants to offer me an upgrade, cybernetic, or otherwise, I wouldnt say no. Especially as my right knee is beginning to become a more serious issue lately, so I suspect my fight to avoid getting replacement joints may not go on much longer. Unless it gets really bad, I intend to wait until the Autumn at least (job probation period, pair of holidays) before getting it done, but then I might have to give in, and go under the knife, but… hey, this is next year, which I’ll probably cover at weekend!
Fine, review of 2016. In truth, not an awful lot to say.
The year began with waving goodbye to the last evidence of ever being a man, the change of passport to one that says I’m a woman! Yes, it was special the first time I applied for a job as a woman, I must say. It was also nice not to actually be known by one name, but applying for jobs as another, while waiting to be able to sort out the whole name thing, I must admit. Seemed to work pretty well, as it didnt take forever, but still long enough to get offered a job. Yes, the irony of being offered a short term one, then a day later, the one I really wanted, and the one I’m currently in, after such a long period of trying to get something was amusing, but its over now, and its going to take something special to get me to move again now, willingly at least! Fine, a nice acting tour, or a movie, might, but otherwise…planning to stay!
Let me just say that I have no idea when the last year was that I never left England, let alone the UK. Its a long time ago, but exactly when, not a clue. The last year I didnt leave the UK would be 1995, the year my mother’s second husband died, because we knew it was going to happen, so planned to holiday in Scotland that year, so we could get back quickly if needed, and we did! But not to leave England, no idea, as we went to Scotland, or Ireland, as children a number of times, relatives, and all that. So its possible that we are going back to 1967, when the holiday was a visit to some relative in Cornwall, to find the last time that happened, but dont quote me on that!
As I said before, I fell on my feet, when I finally got this job, I think its the most interesting of all the jobs I applied for, or certainly among them, and its not just an average call centre job, even if I do spend my shifts wearing headphones, and talking to clients. But yes, I’m happy there, thats the main thing.
To be fair, its going to take a while for the finances to recover totally, especially if I keep taking 2 US holidays a year, but fine, I’m planning to do it, regardless. Well, lets face it, on what I’ve seen this year, my time might be nearly up!
Other things, oh, a new book was written this year, which sold a few copies, but hasnt inspired me to become a full time author. Fine, ECT might not be everyone’s perfect book material, but a few more sales, all the same… Oh, and fine, there is still part of me that wishes I could have done some personal research on the subject matter, but anyway…
OK, video time. I gather from You Tube that there are some more modern songs with this title I could have chosen, but hey, this is the one I knew as a child.
Yes, I know, tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day, but I’ve discovered something that happened 2 years ago date-wise tomorrow, so I’ll get in a day early. And anyway, tomorrow, may, or may not be anywhere close to that date of the first Thanksgiving celebration in 1621. History suggests it was November, but exactly when in that month, I’d suspect earlier, given it was post harvest. But anyway, last Thursday in November is now the agreed day, so…
For us now, to try and imagine what that first one was like, almost impossible. If you believe historical articles on the internet (hmm?), then there were no ovens, and in all likelihood, no cakes, due to a lack of ovens, and a low supply of sugar. Probably right, but guaranteed? But one thing is for sure, its where the whole Thanksgiving celebration started, even if I very much doubt it was called that, back then.
It was only in 1863, and Lincoln, that the date got settled on, as the last Thursday in November. Until then, states celebrated it, if, and when they wanted to. After that, the date seems to have stuck, so…
Nowadays the day has become more commercialised, though to be fair to the NFL, games have been taking place on the day since the 1930’s, though its fair to say that people didnt settle down in front of huge TV’s to watch them back then! More likely, listened to them on their radios, if that.
Talking of modernity, the whole holiday has now been seemingly equaled by, with the shopping spree that is Black Friday, the day after. In truth, nowadays, that has turned into Black Fortnight, or does it just feel that way?
At least now, thanks to one wonderful man, and his family in Albany, I know what Thanksgiving Day is like as a celebration. Yes, 2 years ago, I got to celebrate that event, first held in 1621, for the first time. Hopefully not the last, though I have no idea when it will happen again, just at present. Maybe when I stop working, who knows? Or maybe while working in the US, either acting, or more general work, but I dont think I’ll hold my breath for that to happen! Oh, there might be one other good reason too, but I suspect he might prefer me not to mention that on here? Lets just say it was something I regretted missing 2 years ago, but it had to be done, just once!
So, all US readers here, have a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow.
The video. How the Pilgrims, back in 1620 might have viewed the new world?
Well, yes, in ideal circumstances, I’d have written this on either Tuesday, or Wednesday, but if I planned to do that, in all honesty, it wouldnt happen. So lets settle for today, especially as Facebook conveniently reminded me about it this morning, not that I needed reminding!
Thats right, one year ago, which was actually the Friday, so I must have been keen, I was commenting on my forthcoming trip to Los Angeles, for 4 glorious weeks, starting on the Wednesday. Though actually, it was only the second thing on the comment, as firstly was the job interview I had on the Tuesday, the last thing I would do before leaving. As history now knows, I didnt get that job, actually found out that fact on arrival in California, ah well…
Now, here I sit, looking at a probable return to Los Angeles next May, though dates, and duration are currently yet to be decided, until I know what week work will let me have, and whether I can get a few days on top, either side of it. Also, I will have to take a look at finances early next year, see what I think I can afford, and play it from there. Ideally, 10 days, but if it has to only be 7, then so be it. In that sense, its going to be a hotel, not an apartment, just because it wont be practical to buy provisions for just 7, or 10 days, as opposed to 4 weeks.
Fine, if that little apartment in Verbena Drive was available, then maybe I’d have been tempted, but now… going to be a hotel, I’m sure.
But yes, its going to be funny when I leave here on Wednesday, and head to Bradford, not Hollywood, to think back about it. The other funny thing, that first proper pay going into my bank on Friday, that will be good.
OK, while we’re on about Los Angeles, lets talk baseball! Yes, the Dodgers are now one win, or one Giants loss away from winning the division again. Would be lovely if it happened today, as its Vin Scully’s last home commentary before retirement. He has got 3 more games, next weekend, in San Francisco, but that will be it, after 67 years! Yes, 8 years before I was born, he began commentating on Dodgers games, in Brooklyn, and only now he’s retiring! Believe me, he will be so missed! If there is one Dodger I would love to meet, its him, though technically he wont be one by the time I’m next there. So fine, Clayton Kershaw might have that role then, though the chances of me meeting either, is probably zero. Yes, about as likely as talking to Jean Harlow’s ghost at Glendale!
So where do I go to on Wednesday? Well, last year, it was Hollywood, this year, Bradford! At least the latter pays me money. Now, if Hollywood want to offer me money too…?
The video, well, I’ve given a few clues, I guess?