Hitting that (not quite all time) low.

OK, so time wise, I did think about leaving this until tomorrow, but I promised people some pretty depressing news, so pledge kept. Yes, I know, a week ago I thought I was hitting that high, but sadly it was just an illusion.

Yes, you guessed it, that job I thought I’d got, just a con. And yes, I was so desperate for a job, that despite the wage screaming at me, as being wrong, I jumped at it. And yes, the security check, and having to pay for it, sounded fair, so I went ahead and done it. I know, bigger fool me, but I need the job!

Anyway, having got to Thursday, when I was promised contact to arrange induction, and further details, and heard nothing, I sent off an email enquiring about this. Then Friday morning, guess what, I got an email from them! But no, not a reply to mine, but the identical email to the one I’d received a week earlier. Mind, given when I’d had no reply on Thursday (all replies previously answered very promptly), I feared the worst, but this just confirmed it. So yes, I took to Google, to try and discover more, and at that point, everything unraveled big time. To cut a long story short, I’d been conned, and fallen for it.

The worst thing, I’d turned down a couple of other assessments, and interviews, because I thought I’d found a job, and then finally discovered, I hadnt. Yes, I did for a while after that contemplate just saying “Oh, blow it”, and bringing an end to it all (Yes, tried it before, many years ago, when I first discovered the whole transgender thing), but I think I’ve got past that point now, but dont quote me on that! So yes, over the weekend, I’ve got back to sending off job applications, and trying to see if I can recover the ones I turned down, so lets hope something comes of it. Not exactly full of hope (understandably), but we will see.

But yes, the biggest snag I have now, is that the money I threw away, I really couldnt afford to lose. So now, instead of having 3 weeks rent that I could scrape together, with a little bit to spare, I now have 2, and a bit more to spare, but not enough for a weeks rent! Even less so, if I have to start paying out for fares to get to job interviews, but anyway…at least getting one, might get me out of a hole, though even then, by the time I get paid… Oh, and strictly, I need some cheap furniture for here too, assuming I’m going to be here long enough to make it matter!

So yes, I’m begging, anyone in a position to help? Money, simply to keep me going, or if you have a small wardrobe, or chest of drawers, that you can get to me, to save me buying one in a charity shop, shout! Its funny, when I asked if anyone would ‘rescue me’ if I needed it, I bet most thought I was just exaggerating things. See, you were wrong!

In a perfect world, I would love to just start all over again, somewhere in the US, and try and build myself a new life, and make this one work. But this world isnt perfect, and besides, I havent got enough for the air fare for most of the US, and thats before the next rent is due on Wednesday! After that…nope!

So yes, understandably, just at this moment, I’m still pretty low. Though as Elton John said, I’m still standing, but only just! And for how much longer? Help!

Right, so now you know, at least. The video, well, I did think about the Elton John one, but given that Bowie died recently, and its a brilliant video, and its apt…

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One response

  1. Oh, honey, I am so sorry 😦 Let me put my thinking cap on.

    Like

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