Anyone looking for cheery news, look away now! At least now I know what happened last Tuesday, though fine, I might wish I didnt. Yes, fine, I had a seizure, OK? How do I know this? Well, could be because I had another one on Friday, just maybe? On a Blackpool tram of all places, before I got to wear my ‘Clara Johnson’ dress and all. No, I dont remember a thing, and from what I’ve heard, thats for the better! So yes, the perfect place to spend your birthday, a hospital bed.
The good news, as you might have gathered by now, I live. The bad news, I have a distinct speech issue, which when thats your job, not good. To put it politely, I sound drunk. Considering I havent had alcohol in 18 months, thats not real. But it sounds that way, and when your voice is your job, I wont be working for a while, if not an awful lot longer. Doctor has already signed me off until end of April, and thats only for starters, clearly. Like the hospital staff, when I suggested early medication retirement (I am 61), the Doctor looked at me as if how I could be considering anything else. So yeah, PIP here I come! Oh fine, yes, my co-ordination is dreadful too.
I must say, that apart from one thing, the Blackpool Victoria Hospital was lovely to me, and the others visiting me. That one thing? Well, they stuck numerous canola’s into me, covered them up, then missed one at removal. Yes, its gone now!
So fine, what a week it was, after the week I was hoping for. No, I dont think I’m blaming Clara Johnson’s ghost for events, though I do wonder…? Probably the end for speaking roles, unless things improve dramatically with my voice, but makes me perfect for mannequin roles, or full body suit, non speaking parts, just saying…
Oh, do you want the biggest irony, the seizures have improved the state of my back! No idea why, but its true! But if its one, or the other, then yes, I’ll have the bad back! So yeah, that Clara Johnson moment remains a challenge!
OK, video time. Not quite as old as me, and yes, my dears, this is an old fashioned jukebox, complete with single record… But yes, its definitely been…
Its funny to think that on my first day, at age 60, was spent dress up as a 20’s Flapper (even more so, if planned dress had fitted) at the Blackpool Film Festival, and the last day of age 60, I’ll be back at the Blackpool Film Festival, this time doing the 30’s chorus girl look! So, one year on calendar, one decade on in look, and I can get my ‘Clara Johnson’ look moment, at 60, just about! I am also working the rest of the weekend there, if you’re in the area?
Question is, how many more? Even more so after yesterday, when I was sat in my room, settling down to watch a bit of the Cheltenham Festival, and then felt wobbly, and…
Next thing I knew, was Eric looking down on me, and asking if I was alright. I resisted the witty compliment, and working out I wasnt fine, given over 3 hours had passed since I was previously conscious. I retired to bed, and apart from bathroom stops, didnt really get conscious again under morning. I feel better now, though thats only relative, not right, but just better. Yes, it makes me wonder how much longer this body is going to last, probably not long? But as long as it lasts the weekend…?
OK, video time. What else but one from the Blackpool TV series
My grateful thanks to Stacie, for having posted this picture on my Facebook page for when I returned from Physio this morning. I’ve been having even more issues than normal for the last 10 days or so, with issues with my hips, and muscles at the top of leg area, as well as the standard ones with my back. Yes, seems my body has decided to compensate for the damage in my lower spine/back, and now of course those affected areas are starting to get sore because of it. I did offer to get a body upgrade to a nice robot one (ideally in chrome), but she just laughed, primarily because its not really an option at this time, lol, lets face it! Unless you know better…? 😉
Then, as I say, I got home, and eventually got on to Facebook, and found that Stacie had posted this picture on my timeline
Oh please, talk about my dream bedroom, all in metallic silver… Not sure I could wear anything but silver bodysuits if I lived in a room/house like that, but I wouldnt actually see that as a bad thing. Ideally, either a hooded body suit, or hoods as well, at least in the wardrobe! Maybe that passageway leads to the charging pod, lol? Or the AI controller unit, just maybe? Full robotisation option, as opposed to just the look? Please!
Yes, if anyone ever wants to design my dream apartment, the bedroom almost certainly looks just like that! Oh for the money to make that dream come true. Though I dont deny it, my first financial priority would probably be to get my spine fixed (a la Tiger Woods), and then arrange my dream robot apartment. But fine, neither would take long, believe me!
But yes, seeing that when I got home, just loved it! Only wish I could see the rest of the apartment, in truth. Actually, searching, I’ve discovered its not much more than a concept design at this time, but I’d love it for real.
So if anyone has lots of money they just want to treat a disabled old lady with, give me a shout!
Video time. Well fine, the song title is one word different, but the rhyme could still work? I thought I’d try the recent live version, and its good enough to roll with, so…
Well, you know that on Thursday, I gave you the news that I’d got agreement to get benefits, to help the old lady cut down again on her working week, and how I said I hoped it would all be sorted in the near future. That near future was quicker than expected, its done! So yes, as of tomorrow, I’ve only got to survive a 3 day working week, instead of 4! If I say it was settled, sorted, and confirmed in about 6 hours, wow! I mean, I knew it wouldnt take long, but I wasnt expecting that, but big thanks to my bosses for arranging it.
No, sorry, unless someone is offering me a lot of blog ideas to work on, I’ll be sticking to 3 blogs a week. Thats tough enough to find enough material for, let alone a 4th one each week!
It means one thing, for sure, though. I need to get my travel card charged up with some tickets, because weekly passes are never going to work now, lets face it. 4 days a week didnt cover costs, but with all the therapy stuff, I was tending to have a 5th day each week, so it was fine. But now, even the extra day will only be 4! I wasnt expecting it so soon, so no, its going to just be a day pass tomorrow, then get the rest sorted out.
As someone said to me earlier, its great that its been sorted out so quickly, but at the same time, I replied that it would be even nicer if I didnt have to do it because of the state of my spine! Ah well, the joys of old age, I guess?
OK, the video is far older than me, it will be 90 next year! Its from the early days of sound, when musicals were everything, and Clara Johnson struck gold, going from modest bit part actress, to a regularly working chorus line dancer. Yes, I think I spotted her in this, but the quality of the film, due to age, I suspect, isnt great, and its a very brief glimpse. Alice White was one of those enigmas of the early 30’s. She couldnt really sing, she wasnt a great dancer, but she looked cute, was handy for tons of promo stuff, so though she never went on to be a star, I suspect she earned a decent living, all the same. And yes, fine, I love her costume!
Start of February is always a funny period for me nowadays, for several reasons. Monday, was the date that would have been my mothers 91st birthday. Before you go all gooey, dont, because she hated the fact I came out as Transgender, and pretty much disowned me for it. Thankfully she’s no longer with us (and hasnt been for a while now), so issue is over, but of course when the 4th February rolls around, its a pretty sore date for me, but one that sticks in my memories, anyway.
Today actually brought me some good news, I’ve got the benefit funding to be able to cut back to working 3 days a week, which will be a major blessing for me, as my back isnt up to even a 4 day week any more. Now I just have to sort out with work on whether I give up Friday, or Saturday as a working day in the near future. Fairly easy on it, both have advantages, both have disadvantages, but I’ll probably just do what suits everyone mutually. But the thought of not having to do 2 days in a row any more will be heaven. Sounds terrible really, but I’m nearly 61, with a damaged spine, and I’ve worked hard for the best part of 45 years, so…
Of course the other significant date in the first half of February, is a week today. Yes, that much over hyped event named Valentines Day. This year I will probably hit 20 years without even a card, unless someone wants to prove me wrong. Strictly, one friend sent me an amusing t-shirt for the day, which I’ve never worn in public (it says Mind Controlled Sex Slave, for heavens sake), not because I dont find it amusing, because it would be fun to be one, but just for the sake of public taste. In truth, its somewhere in my room, but no idea where now! And yes, she was married, with a kid, but anyway…
So yes, challenge thrown down. You dont have to wine and dine me, or send me chocolates, or flowers or anything else that costs money. If you want to, then fine, and let me know via the email address mentioned shortly, but I’m not expecting that. In truth, I’m not even looking for a real card, unless so inclined. But yes, a plain, disabled trans lady, now in her 60’s, would just like something to cheer her up a week from now. E-card, or anything else as anonymous as you wish. Just to make me feel like a natural, cared for woman. (See video shortly). So anyone that wants to be my ‘fake’ Valentine beau, feel free to comment here, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org on the day, and at least make me feel wanted, even if I’m not.
Equally (ha ha), if there is someone who wants me to get a special treat, or be their asexual courtesan, same address will work! I know, I wont even expect the e-card, lol.
OK, so I used this video only about 6 months ago, but the line about natural woman was just too hard to resist!
Well, I wonder how all together things will be after the Brexit votes tonight? Fingers crossed for some positive, sane news, and I will leave it at that.
Unfortunately I had to venture out today, for a good reason, but its been freezing cold, and my back has been complaining loudly ever since I did so. I must admit, I felt like stepping into the TV last night, and hitting (as best I can) the local weatherman who was getting horribly over excited at the thought of the forthcoming snow. Yes, he’s young, and in perfect health, so good for him, have fun, but a bit of consideration for his viewers, of more mature years, and more damaged bodies might be nice, just saying. Not saying his name, as it would mean nothing to people who dont watch BBC regional news in Yorkshire, but if they do, the hit is ordered. No, seriously its not, but the sentiment was there. Oh, we havent had snow, and ice here yet, but he was gleefully forecasting it again tonight. I hope not, for his sake. And mine, I really cant afford a hitman, lol!
The reason I had to go out today, was because thanks to the deteriorating state of my back, I need to cut back my working week even further. Yes, the poor old girl cant even survive a 4 day week at this time of year at least, any more. I suspect it cant survive it regardless, but in current temperatures, no chance! So therefore, off to try and get some benefits to help me do this. The irony was, my own department that I work for, and I failed the verification system online. Probably because of all the name changes, and the fact that I dont apply for hundreds of credit cards, but I’m on the electoral roll, I’m on the Civil Service workers list, but anyway…
Universal Credit seems to attract an amount of media flak, but most of the postings at work tell me its actually a delight to be involved in. My feelings after today, somewhere in between. (Let me add I definitely did not get the feeling of special treatment, lol) I cant say that the lady I saw was overly welcoming, but she wasnt overly hostile either. Then again, I’m not out of work, so…? In truth, it seemed more an exercise of ticking her boxes, and that was it. I was trying to make it clear that my reason for claiming was that I needed to cut back my hours because of health issues, so the wages I’m currently on, wouldnt be the wages then, but not sure she really heard that. We will see?
Maybe she’s just had too many ‘grumpy’ customers, because my attempts to be polite, and helpful really got me nowhere, beyond getting my identity verified. So yes, I can see people with less of a link might think the service a bit too formal, and fierce. At the same time, the number of people they must get in work, wanting to do a health based hours reduction, not many, I suspect. So, I would say its not as bad as some portray it, but its not as good as others do. I suspect how much I get offered, if anything, if they think thats still going to be my salary, might tilt me one way or the other, we will see?
OK, video time. Hopefully my back will be roughly ‘all together’ in the morning, though I suspect if the weather forecast is right, that might be wishful thinking, but fingers crossed. The song, I find hard to believe is nearly 30 years old, but it is. And it proves Paul McCartney wasnt the only one to feature Christmas Day, 1914, in a song!
No, just long enough to read the blog will be fine, really. Mind, on the day that was Marion Davies’s birthday (she would have been 122 today), if anyone really wants to be my William Randolph Hearst, then contact me. I wont expect to get crushed in the rush, mind, but more on that later.
Today, seemingly, as is the want with trending days for everything, is seemingly ‘Festival Of Sleep Day’. Actually, a rare event, one I approve of, totally! Mainly because at this time of year, when the weather gets freezing cold, my back starts to object to things, like moving, and other technical needs. And yes, sleeping in a warm (or warmer) bed is something that my back approves of, as opposed to moving around in freezing cold weather. So yes, at times like this, hibernation sounds like a heavenly concept to an old crock like me. Even more so at the moment, because all my treatments have been messed up by the Holiday season, meaning I’m now over 5 weeks since Physiotherapy (normally every 4 weeks), and have to try and survive to next Tuesday before the back can be worked on. I’m even over 2 weeks since any kind of treatment (flotation tank session), and the back is giving me all sorts of issues at the moment, even more so when temperatures are struggling to hit 40, let alone anything decent!
I know, humans cant do standard hibernation, like some animals can, even if little things like work didnt get in the way! So yes, oh for one of those stasis pod things, where I could be put to sleep until it warms up somewhat, around about May, shall we say? I guess it would be weird sleeping about 4-5 months (or a bit more) away, then just waking up again when the weather has improved sufficiently for old crocks like me? Fine, I’d love it, so if anyone has one laying around that they want to trial on people…? Could miss the chaos of Brexit that way too, another blessing for me! Mind, imagine catching up on events when you did wake up, lol!
I’m sure that in time, something akin to a stasis pod will be created. Lets face it, as things stand, its the only way anyone is going to do genuine deep space travel, is if humans can be put into storage for a number of years. Even Mars is going to be several months, or more, with little for people to do much of the time getting there, so…? As I say, if anyone wants to do early trials on one of those, with a human volunteer, I’m happy to sleep the winter away!
OK, the video is a ‘witty’ moment from me. Lets face it, who would want to spend the night together with an old asexual trans woman like me? I saw a couple of friends bemoaning the lack of partners (in their cases, females, in US), and they’re in a better position than me! They’re younger, interested in a healthy relationship, and not crocked by disability. So yeah, what chance have I got? But equally, if someone is crazy enough to want to set this ‘baby’ up with an apartment, somewhere warm all year round (or warmer), then I’m more than happy to oblige. Hell, I’ll even change my name to Marion Davies, if thats your thing? I’m an actress too, though not in her league.
Video is some very old Rolling Stones, from over 50 years ago. Just enjoy, OK?
Or if someone just wants to send me a nice warm bed/pod to sleep in, I’d love that too!
So, as promised, the review of the year starts here. It will finish tomorrow, and then at the start of the new year, I’ll take a look at what 2019 might hold, some of it very likely, some of it unlikely, but might be fun if it does.
2018 actually saw something happen, that I’d never done in my 44 years of working life, I was told not to go to work! Yes, a combination of the fragility of my back, and some very cold, and icy weather saw me put on ‘winter weather leave’ for a few days. It made sense in so many ways in truth, but was still a bit of a novelty to me. But agreed, if I’d slipped over, landed on my back, and especially my spine, well you wouldnt want to think about the potential outcome, lets face it. Pretty sure its likely to happen early in 2019 too, especially given the deterioration in my wrist too, but we will have to wait and see on that. In truth, after about a week of that, I was getting a bit of ‘jail fever’ but it was a very wise move, so kudos to my employers for letting me do it.
While on about work, I started working on an LGBT committee at work, which was definitely a fun thing to do. Yes, was, more on that over next couple of posts.
Something else that happened early in the year was also work related. One of my colleagues got notice of volunteers needed for the Blackpool Film Festival in March, and the rest, as they say, is history! I wont claim it as strictly the revival of my acting career (its more a natural performance thing, no scripts), but it was a moment that led to the return of my time performing in public.
This year, it was a flying visit, arrived in Blackpool on the Friday afternoon, left again on the Saturday morning, due to fate, and a memorable date. Yes, the night of my flapper revival was my 60th Birthday! The works celebration was done a week earlier (would have been anyway), but the ‘house’ version was delayed until the Saturday night, which was why we needed to get back as we did.
Yes, a decade or so ago, that would have been it, retirement, which in truth, the body probably needs already. Now, officially it will be March 2024, though I have my doubts my body will hold out that long, but we will see? If it does, I might plan to retire (or take holiday) from work a couple of weeks early, because as things stand, the Iditarod race will start from Anchorage on 2nd March (restart at Willow on 3rd), and that would be an amazing thing to do, and a sort of dream come true. Nome as well? Well, maybe, but all that is a long way off. More on my preferred retirement option in part 2 tomorrow night.
May saw my return to Seattle for the first time in a few years. A few firsts there. Another state bagged, as I flew in via Las Vegas, so getting Nevada as my 24th state. Hopefully get 25 ‘somewhere’ next September, maybe? Ask Kate on that one, lol. She knows the one I’d love it to be, but its not renowned as the most friendly LGBT state in the US, so maybe not? There are a couple of New England options for that title too, so we will see.
The other big first on that trip, was my first Mariners game. It was memorable for more reasons than one, good, and bad. Good, they won. Bad, disability related issues. To be fair to the club, I complained, got a free ticket in the disabled area later in the week, and a few souvenirs as well, they handled it all very well.
Lastly, in the first half of the year, was a return to Blackpool, for World Pier Day. Again I have to thank a colleague for covering my Saturday shift to enable me to do this. Went back even further in time, as an Edwardian Lady, though I never got tightly corseted, cant have everything, lol. Amusingly, it was also Blackpool Pride day, and though I heard a lot of that, didnt get to see it at all. 2 trips already planned for Blackpool in New Year, but more on that on Tuesday, one of which you may not want to miss!
Well, the year certainly hasnt been a drag, but when this came up in my You Tube suggestions tonight, I couldnt resist this 1930 offering. And yes, a certain ‘fluffy haired’ blonde definitely looks like it could be Clara Johnson!
Apologies for another health related piece, of sorts, but its the diplomatic outcome. I really, really wanted to comment on the Brexit vote on Tuesday, and the complications surrounding it, but after an afternoon of working how to keep it politically neutral, I failed miserably, so you’re not getting it! I’ll work on trying to get there for Tuesday, but other than that…
The amusing thing is, the news of this potential clothing breakthrough came through one of the ‘weird’ writers forums that I inhabit. Lets just say he was thinking of a more kinky way to use this material, whereas I came up with a more beneficial potential for disabled people like myself.
Yes, just think, especially with winter coming up, how beneficial a body suit made of material like this would be for people like me. Apart from the fact that I think I’d be snugly warm inside something like that, consider the potential. If I slipped on ice, for example, its fair to assume I would pull on the suit, it would thicken, so when I landed on my back, knees, or wrist (which lets face it, are all pretty vulnerable) I would have additional protection when I hit the ground! I might not get zero damage, but it would be very much reduced. Good, yes?
Oh fine, the snag is, that currently, and probably not in the near future either, such clothing doesnt actually exist. And lets face it, if it did, I suspect it would be well beyond my budget anyway. But wouldnt it be wonderful if a clothing company did run with something like this, as it would be such a boon for disabled, and elderly people like me.
So, can we get this done, pretty please? I doubt it, but its a great concept at least.
For those curious, the other guys idea? Yeah, bondage suit, not subtle, lol. My version would have an easy way to get into, and out of the outfit, I’m not sure he’d want things to be so easy!
For those with concern, the wrist is a little easier, and at least now I can ball my hand into a fist, which I certainly couldnt do on Friday, so clearly its better at least. In NFL health terms, I’d call myself a ‘probable’ for work tomorrow, though I will have to be careful. Its still a bit sore, but I think I can cope? Strictly, I could elect to go back Wednesday, if I’m not happy with it, on the basis of being able to self certificate for a week. Yes, I know, maybe I should, but I could do with getting out, lol! 😛 I need to be back by Friday, anyway, as its the works Christmas meal, and I’ve got a dress to wear, lol!
OK, video time. I probably ought to apologise for this, but incredibly, this was the Christmas number 1 record 25 years ago. And fine, its a protective suit, and if I hit the ground wearing this, I’d probably barely notice the fall! So…