A great song, from a great musical, Carousel. Though the featured version here is the version I remember from the 1960’s, not actually from the musical, or film.
The thing is, for many transgender people, thats the opposite polarity to what they face in life, far too many are just left to fend for themselves as best they can. And lets face it, for far too many, it doesnt work. Its why suicide rates amongst transgender people are so high, its coping with being who you are in the world, where far too many people just want to take a blinkered attitiude to the problem.
As for depression rates, well, you really dont want to know how bad they are, though its not hard to work out why, is it? And unfortunately, it sometimes leads to the fact mentioned above. And yes, I suffered from depression for far too long, ironically without really knowing why, beyond the fact that something was wrong with me, but what, I hadnt a clue. But no, not any more, well not because of transgenderism at least. And yes, what I’ve got at the moment is more annoyance with certain people, than depression, though they are making me wonder why I bother at times. And no, as far as I know, no one reading this, or related to anyone reading this is the target of my venom either.
Thankfully, I dont have to walk alone, got a number of good friends who support me through this, and a few others who seemingly admire me for what I do, and have done. But many others dont have it so easy, and even for people like me, there are still a number who dont like what they see, and try to make life hard, but I’m doing my best to ignore them, but a few are in a position where thats easier said than done, but even so…
On a lighter note, there will be one (or technically two) walks alone that will be interesting on Saturday, the ones through security at the airports, while wearing my enhancers. I’m told everything should be fine, but I’m planning to use an old pair all the same, just in case and all that! They are probably right, I’ll suddenly realise I’m through, and laugh, but…its more the TSA at Chicago that worries me in that sense, you hear so many tales, but they’ve told me it will be fine, so…
Hopefully there will be one more post before I go, Friday, when I’m certain of my freedom from somewhere lol, I’m sure. I promise, that will be more cheery than this one, though it might be cheesy as well. I will post from Seattle when possible, for those who want to know, and to let you know what security was like, I guess.
The song, well I’ve given it away already, I would say? So just enjoy (in black and white)
Well, so they tell us, today was officially the spring equinox, so I guess they must be right? Somehow, around here at least, if that was winter, it was definitely quite a tame one. Somehow I suspect we wont get away with it that lightly somehow? The old joke about snow at the start of the cricket season next month, quite possible I suspect?
And yes, the clocks go forward this weekend (in the UK at least, before my North American friends say something) which means the loss of an hour of precious sleep. And yes, I’m working both days this weekend, so I will notice it lol! Thankfully for me at least, not too narrow a split, so I’m sure I’ll survive. And I will get that hour back… eventually! The irony is we spend me more of the year on summer time, than on the natural time zone, but hey, if thats what the politicians want…? I’ve never been one to quite grasp the logic of why we do it, but I suspect most people feel the same way?
Well, in a sense at least, the countdown to my holiday has sort of begun. Had my nails painted (or more correctly, gelled) today, and the next time that will happen is the day before my holiday, appointment already made. Will get the full work over then, including waxing one or two places, but not anything too painful lol. Plus the much needed massage and facial, a girl has to look her best after all. I need to get my hair coloured as well, I’m amazed how well the extensions are holding up though, I must say.
This holiday will have at least one original moment, the need to use the ladies toilets while out, assuming I can actually find any public toilets in the US! Now I’m wearing the enhancers full time, any possibility of choice goes straight out the window lol! But as I seem to pass to most Americans, I’m probably worrying far more than I need to anyway! Distinct likelihood I will be flying wearing them too, as it seems there is no problem getting through airport security wearing them, according to Manchester Airport, and the TSA. I do need a new pair though, so ideally I can get them before I go, pack them in the case, and wear the old pair for flying, just in case anything does crop up. Last year I flew as a relatively flat chested lady, whereas this year, a bit more buxom lol!
Back to work tomorrow, so I dont quite know when the next blog will be, but currently the shifts arent so horrendous, so I might get a chance before Monday, next day off. Mind, given how many viewings I’m getting here of late, maybe I shouldnt worry so much about that?
Lastly, the video. Sorry, its a bit old, 82 years old to be exact. But I typed Spring is here on You Tube, and this is the first thing that came up. Besides, its from an era that a flapper should feel at home with, and so…
Oh, and talking of that. I had one of those style test things sent to me in an email by TK Maxx. Guess what, I came up as a Gatsby Girl, shock horror! Rofl 😉
Yes, I know, its been a while since I last posted here. Sorry, but the last 3 days, the shifts have been quite long, to put it mildly, and the train company has been providing its usual awful service which didnt help either, for getting anything done here.
However, the good news, or bad news depending on how you see these, this is the first day off of 3 in a row, so you should get more soon. Whats happened, apart from work? Nothing all that exciting really. No, I havent rung my ‘beau’ to arrange a date, before anyone asks lol!
On a sports front, Ireland started their cricket year today in Kenya, and Keighley are currently playing their first game of the season as well, as I type this. Oh, and the NFL has finished, technically last weekend, but that wasnt a concern on my last post. Next big date in that sense is April, when they announce the schedule, and hopefully put Buffalo @ New England in the right sort of place, mid-end September if they can take a hint. Oh, and the on/off farce of last nights Ireland rugby match in Paris!
By now I’m fully used to having a cleavage 24/7, and it would now seem funny to be without them I suspect, though agreed, naturally curvaceous would be so much more fun! And no, not one word from anyone at work about them still! I cant believe no one is at least curious, but anyway…
Its beginning to look like next year will be the one I walk in the footsteps of Louise Brooks. It really ought to be this year (25th anniversary of her death), but next year will have to do. Rochester (burial spot) will definitely at least be visited next April, if not the place I stay, which has to be a possible. Where else you ask? Wichita, Kansas in September is definitely becoming the hot favourite for that trip. She spent 2 short spells of her life there, and its a lot easier to reach than Cherryvale (birthplace) for a non driver like me. Thats probably a step too far unless I find a friendly chauffeur though, not even any bus service that I can find into that town! No, I have no plans to learn to drive in the interim!
Oh, and lastly before I sign off. There’s a significant date for some in 2 days time, but certainly not for me. Well not unless my beau has somehow found out my address lol! Cant actually remember the last time I had a Valentine card to be honest, might well be there hasnt been one this century as yet. No, I dont miss the fuss, but it just always strikes me at this time of year.
Alright, the video, all I suspect some come here for. An oldie, a great rock song, and maybe not too hard to work out from the blog title.
Well, for those of you who read this on a regular basis, and I know there are some, this features a bit of an update on the last blog. In that, you might remember me mentioning about just maybe wearing my enhancers to work, and seeing what happened reaction wise? Well I did, and the reaction, absolutely zero! So no idea if they think its surgery or not!
Now whether this is because no one has noticed, or more likely because no one has the guts to say anything, I have no idea, the jury (thats me!) is out on that one at present. I’m assuming its more the latter, but nothing would surprise me at that place. Put it this way, I have no plans now not to wear them, unless I’m told otherwise. And yes, I’m seeing more of the assumption that if I’ve got boobs, I must be a woman, however butch lol! Admittedly they are slightly camouflaged by the coat at this time of the year, especially in a winter coat, but they are pretty obvious all the same. They certainly are at lunchtime, and no great reaction then either! Alright, I’m not doing a Dolly Parton type look, but I’m certainly bursting out a bit with them in, all the same. I’m not sure how it will all play out in the summer, when you dont need a coat, or just a thin one, but for now, I have no plans to stop then. Funnily enough, I can try out the theory in April, in Seattle, when no one will know me, and rain permitting, I shouldnt need a coat all the time, and can see what reaction they, sorry, I get.
The difference I’m noticing is the weight factor, for want of a better term. They might only weigh about 260g for the pair, but when you’re wearing them 24/7 (well alright, not in bath, havent found a way around that yet lol), I notice it far more than when it was about half the time, probably because I never get a break from carrying them on my chest. I know, a real woman doesnt get that break, but hey, for a long while, i didnt have that delight to worry about. How a really busty woman copes, I dont know, but she has my admiration. I know one thing, I feel liberated wearing them full time though.
Interesting thing, I always assumed because of the gels/liquids rule at airport security, that wearing silicone enhancers through there, and for flights wouldnt be permitted, but it seems I’m wrong there, apparently its fine, even with the TSA. I know, I checked! Seemingly what I read on one Transgender Forum, the only no-no is carrying them in hand luggage. Wearing them is fine, checked luggage is fine (done that a few times), just not carry on. Personally, thats not an option I’d even consider, I’d either pack them in the case, or be wearing them anyway! And now seemingly, wearing them is the most wonderful, and finest option for me.
Just a quick add, it seems it might not be so easy when travelling to Canada, or more correctly, from Canada. Though I do wonder what they do if you are leaving the country anyway! Does that mean they have to provide you with an apartment and job if they wont let you out lol?
Alright, the video. Going with the change of look thing here, even if Geri’s was a bit more radical than mine at the time. But I do think the line, “What you see is what you are getting.” so sums me up nowadays. Being buxom is definitely fun, and the world hasnt ended yet because of it lol!
I have to admit it, my assumption was always that going with my natural cleavage (however tiny) was a safer route than being out there, using enhancers as a buxom old lady, but maybe I was looking at it from the wrong direction?
Yes, as some know, if they read this regularly, I’m on holiday this week. And lets face it, Girls just want to have fun, as Cyndi Lauper used to say, and no, thats not the video lol! So this week, all my trips out have been of the ‘fully stacked’ kind, and I’ve been surprised by the reaction, or rather the lack of it. Is it in human nature to assume that if someone is ‘well built’ that they must be female, even if other little details may suggest otherwise? Yes James, I know, before you say it that I have a decent pass rate, but even so…well, I was expecting a few funny looks at least, but no, not really happening. And yes, I still get a few when out with just my natural cleavage, which is why I was wondering whether it is the big boobs that do it, or not? Do men, and indeed women see them and assume, decent cleavage, must be a woman, which doesnt happen so much with my natural decolletage?
Or is it just that the people of Yorkshire are more open minded than I thought?
I admit it, on Facebook I jokingly posted about telling work I was getting a ‘boob job’ done this week, wearing the enhancers next Tuesday (my first day back, as Monday is one of my 2 days off next week) and seeing what reaction I got. Typically of our management, and indeed the other staff, that opportunity never arose. Management probably because they dont really care, other staff because we were so manic on Sunday (understaffed, what a shock!) that they didnt have time, assuming they cared anyway! To be honest, if I could keep a straight face, it might be tempting to do it anyway, but I doubt I would. This time of year you’re so wrapped up in coats and things, that no one would probably notice before work anyway! I think they might notice at work, but dont quote me on that with some of them lol!
The ‘fun’ would be lunchtime, out on the street. And in the shop where I get my lunch most days, they know how ‘big’ I am after all! And 2 cups is a lot to grow, even by plastic surgery I suspect? I know, if I had it done, I would develop somewhat, but that much? Its an issue I admit to being torn on, I like just rolling with my natural development, it makes me proud that I have decent breasts of my own, despite a lack of help from Leeds GIC. But at the same time, bigger boobies are nicer, though am I then just being fake?
I may well be able to pull it off (pardon the expression) most of the year, though I suspect summer Friday and Saturday evenings might not always be fun, given the number of idiots about then. And if I do it, I wouldnt want to pick and choose, I either need to be smallish B cup all the time, or well developed C cup all the time, that would only be fair on work and things.
I have no plans to not use the enhancers before I go back to work, the only time they will come off is for bathing etc, they arent designed for that, or for wearing without a bra lol! But otherwise…Well I wouldnt mind the enhancers making it impossible for me to remove them, but hey, they only happens in fiction, and the movies lol!
OK, the video, lets do something transgender related. I only know of 2 songs that openly talk about transgender women, and neither of them recent. One is Lola, by the Kinks, the other is…
How many work it out before clicking the link, I wonder? A look at the tags might give it away I guess?
There is, as far as I know, one time when I couldnt use enhancers, while flying. I assume as they are made of silicon, that they wouldnt pass any security tests, especially the TSA ones, given I fly to the US a lot? Unless someone wants to make me a foam pair, I assume they would be fine?
Yes, sorry, December has now arrived, so I thought I’d better get started now on that front. Apologies in advance if some think the quality of vdeos go down this month, lol! I know, the big day is still 3 1/2 weeks away, but the social season seems to be starting at least already.
The works Christmas dinner is a week today, and the ‘secret santa’ ernail arrived in my box just before I left last night, though later enough that I didnt get to read it, but will do so today I’m sure. Never sure about these things, I always seem to draw someone I hardly know, and I suspect most get the same if they draw me! Its not compulsory, but… yes, I suspect I will get involved again, however wise a move that might be!
I’m not really a social party animal, but yet again this year I said yes to the works dinner. Why, I suspect partly because its a rare chance to get something back from the company lol! Mind, by the time I’ve bought a new top, got my hair done and paid for the hotel in Leeds for the night (too much like hard work getting this far home afterwards), its not quite the bargain it seems lol! Yes, I’m going for the hair extension, getting them done next Tuesday, so at least I should have a wonderful show of hair for the do, not the usual hiding how thin it is routine! Coloured as well, so I might even fool some I’m a natural blonde then…probably not though lol!
Budget hotel in Leeds, same one I stayed in last year, seems more than decent enough for me at least. And only about 100 yards from where the dinner is, so not too far to walk either. Make up, yes, getting someone who knows what they are doing to do it though, before I set off to Leeds. Have told her I fancy a 20’s look (I swear Louise Brooks is playing with my mind lol!), so will have to wait and see what happens there.
Yes, a top and suit, as I’ve said before, I’m not rebellious enough for a dress, also there might be idiots about in Leeds that night, so no point taking chances. Flats, not heels as well I might add. But I will definitely wear one of my bras that shows my natural cleavage off to its best effect, thats for sure. Enhancers? Cant see any point, as 90% of the people there know how much cleavage I’ve really got anyway!
So, as you can see, Christmas is coming, as are the Christmas videos. The You Tube link says this is Paul McCartney, but its not, its definitely Wings.
It used to be the case that in the ‘bad old days’ before my boobs grew somewhat, that the only time of year I could go out as a ‘buxom lassie’ was when the cold weather set in, and I could secrete it under a large coat. So I used to have one reason at least for looking forward to the colder weather, cant think of many others! Still wasnt practical for work or anything, but if I was just going out into town, or maybe a bit further afield, well I could fill out the figure a bit!
Nowadays thats a bit less critical, I’ve got a bit of curve of my own, even if they arent going to worry Jordan and the like with their size lol! And yes, I’ve been happy to put them ‘on view’ during the summer, on the rare chances that arose, and in Boston where the weather was so much better! But alright, I’m shallow in a sense, I still use my enhancers when I’m at home, just because I like the feel, and weight, oh, and alright, being a buxom lass is quite fun! Snag is now, that if I use them, even under a coat, they are pretty large nowadays, due to natural assistance. 😉
So alright, I still cant use them for work or anything, I need to be consistent in such matters, and being ‘Dolly D-cup’ during the summer might be a bit too much for some tastes! And being a natural B nowadays, I probably am about a D with these in, even if the C cup bras seem to survive the test at present. It would be great to be a big girl all year round, but suspect it might attract the wrong sort of attention at times.
Its just that with the ‘wonderful’ British weather at present, tomorrow provides the first opportunity of the autumn for the more buxom Stevie Lou to hit the road. Thing is, do I really need to, or should do now? It is fun, but should I settle for being me, or having some fun? I expect I will be dull and practical, the more modestly built old lady will hit Meadowhall tomorrow, but at the same time, it is fun to be buxom, so…
Oh, whats that, the video?
Couldnt resist this, even if it isnt strictly the right interpretation of the lyrics lol!
Edited to add, I do so love those dresses
Alright, you have as long as it takes you to read this to guess which version of said song I’ve used. People who know my musical tastes will probably work it out quite easily. But more on that later…
Normally when I go to the US, I stay in a nice, but reasonably priced (alright, budget-ish) hotels, usually one of a chain type, but not always. Personally, I think Best Western take a lot of beating as chains go, but…Thats why it took me so long to go back to Boston in all honesty, even the budget hotels arent so cheap there, especially when the fall season is just starting up. Thankfully someone very kind was determined to get me into the area, and found me somewhere to stay, that fitted into my budget, which was what I wanted.
As might have been gathered from previous postings, the suite I had was super, as large as a flat I previously owned, and very nicely furnished. But there was one thing missing, a very noticeable one for many nowadays, no TV. To be honest, beyond the Sunday NFL, which I got to see some of elsewhere, and maybe the news and weather, I wasnt going to miss it. I might have also watched some baseball given the chance, but…
The thing is, I enjoyed the peace and tranquility that gave me in my life. I still had the internet (as you may have gathered) and in all honesty, nowadays you can get most things you need to know from there. I think the best way I can put it, is it allowed me to just be me, with nothing else to get in the way, and yes, I loved it! I just retreated into myself, and liked what I saw. I wouldnt strictly call it a retreat, I had internet, a comfy bed, en suite facilities, and a breakfast provided that more than catered for my needs, so I was able to find peace there, and at the same time, have great fun and companionship whenever I wanted it to, there being no strict regulations to keep, only practical ones. Oh, and no tea making facilities in the room, but plenty in the dining room, and no one seemed to blink at going downstairs in your nightgown about 6.30, on the couple of occasions I did meet someone there! I think I might have confused him, daytime I dont use the enhancers, but overnight in private, I do. So at 6.30 I had a full C-D cup cleavage, and a couple of hours later, a more modest B. But didnt seem to faze him that much lol!
As I say, any TV-holics would hate the place, and indeed S…. did tell me that some had come there, and left because of that, but I found it great. I enjoyed Boston, I suspect that everyone was calling me Miss, Lady, or Madam might have helped, but the city was great all the same. I would name this wonderful place I stayed, but for the fact they dont advertise, and therefore dont know if I should? Also I suspect many are shuddering at the thought of staying somewhere without TV anyway lol! But if that type of existence appeals to anyone, and they want a nice place to stay in the Boston suburbs…ask!
The song you should have worked out from the title, if not, how blonde are you lol? The group, well I always wished I could sing like her when I was young. She was taken from us far too early in life as well. In case anyone is still trying to work it out, heres the video,
Yes, this time you get the group name as the title, rather than the song. Just seemed more suitable that way, lol!
Though strictly I’m everything but a girl in one sense, its safe to say everything is wired female, but for the body! Though nowadays, but for one obvious thing, even that is pretty female nowadays. If I could only find a surgeon willing to adjust that for me, I could forget about all the hassle with the NHS, and not worry about anything else.
Oh alright, there are 2 ‘important’ set of people who insist I’m still male, the tax office, and the passport people, though ironically both are more than happy for me to be a Ms though! I can see their point in all honesty, I do still have male ‘bits’, but I’m living as a woman, so…swings and roundabouts I guess? Work is a mystery, they have me registered as a female, but ‘prefer’ me to use male toilets! I suppose if I was more miltant, but that really isnt my style, ah well…Similarly, I do wonder how they would react if I wore my enhancers to work, though in all honesty, I need them less day by day, but do enjoy being buxom, grin! Equally, I’d love to wear them to fly to and from the US, but being silicon in nature, I think security might object lol! Or am I wrong on that front?
So technically I’m everything but the girl, though thats probably the most important bit! I do wonder how potential employers would react to me though? Any genuine trans friendly employers out there I should know about?
Sorry, I know its been a few days, blame the shifts I’ve been getting at work for that. Off noiw until Wednesday, so I suspect you might not have to wait as long for the next post!
The song, some prefer the original version, some prefer the Todd Terry mix that made this record chart, I rather like both. And yes, you could say I had been ‘Missing’ for a few days.
PS Any sizes mentioned here are UK ones, people in other countries may need to translate lol!
And no, I’m not, generally I’m a 14, though in some places, and especially with clingy stuff, I tend to be a 16. Dont think I could be a 10 if I starved myself, even with all the changes to my figure, but thats not the point. Oh, and one last comment about shop sizing, what on earth is a 12-14, it either fits someone who is a size 14, or it doesnt! Me, I tend to get a 16-18 in things like that, because one things for certain, that other size really wont fit on a ‘big’ 14, thats for sure.
To be honest, I’m quite happy to be a 14, though alright, verging towards 12, not 16 would be the nicer way to go. Actually the beauty of this song is the fact that Paul Heaton actually makes the point that he prefers bigger girls, and so generally do I. To be blunt, size 8 looks tiny to me, and as for anything less than that…yuck! So yes, this blog is about size issues, but I suspect you’d guessed that already!
You might also gather that I’m not a fan of ‘matchstick’ models, it sets all the wrong image to young girls, and look at all the problems with anorexia thats given us! Even more so if you think that some of those models are probably airbrushed to look slimmer in pictures anyway.
So if anyone wants to send me any clothes (budget stuff is brilliant), then you know my size! Bra size (38B, or C, depending on if I’m using inserts or not), and a shoe size 8, though high heels are definitely out! And no, I’m not expecting any offers lol!
The other perfect 10 I want to slip into this, is cricket related, a bowler taking all 10 wickets in an innings. And no, beyond ancient black and white film of Jim Laker, I’ve never seen it done. I think I’ve seen a 9 for, on 3 occasions, once on TV, and I think twice while scoring club cricket, though I might well be wrong on the latter, its about 30 years ago or so I was doing that!
OK, its video time, you’ve worked out the song, and worked out the group, so not much more to say. This isnt the original video, though I’m sure you can find that through the You Tube link if you prefer. Sadly this version doesnt have Jacqui Abbott either, its a more recent live version than that, though Alison Wheeler does a good job herself. The setting is quite nice too. So settle back and enjoy…